I don't know what to do anymore.

[TheNoLifeKid]

I'm a female, 17. I turn 18 next year but I don't think I can wait anymore.

For a long time I've been living with my family constantly fighting over the dumbest things. And the worst part is that when me and my siblings want to sit down and talk to them; they don't want to! It hurts us a lot. And sometimes I just wish we could all be happy. For a long time they have been talking about divorce. But to us, not to each other. I miss how my family used to be. Or what I thought they used to be.

I care for my siblings. Even though my little sister hurts us a lot. And I know it's dumb that I let my little sister get to me. And I try so hard to protect my little brother for all of this. But now he got into it. And it impacted him a lot.

Anyways... Today my mom had decided to take our grandparents (her side of the family) to the casino. And when they came back my dad started to act rudely. My little sister got him kindly to leave to talk in our bedroom. That's when it all went down hill and everything started replaying it self. I called the suicide hotline. I talked it out but they were still at it. My sister always uses her brute force to talk to our parents. I tried to talk to him. And he brought up the divorce. He started telling me how me and my little brother should come with him. I told him I didn't want to.

I don't want to live with neither my mom or dad. And I don't want to live with any other family member. To me it would be like picking favorites or betraying one of them. I talked to my siblings and they don't want to be with either of them too. I thought of emancipation. But only I can. I don't want to leave my siblings to end up with either of them. And they don't want to too. So what can we do? I feel like nothing will be solved.

Please. We don't want to stay with them anymore...

[ccsmod6]

RE: I don't know that to do anymore.

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things at home are overwhelming for you to the point where you want to leave. Many families experience similar conflict such as arguing or having communication issues, but it is understandable that you may have grown frustrated with the way things have become. Has your family ever tried family counseling to work on communication skills? You said that you missed how family used to be. What do you think could help things feel like they were before? What do you need from your parents to make living at home comfortable for you? It sounds like communication is something that you value, but you are not able to have open conversations with your family. Sometimes going to a family counselor could help with communication as well as identify ways that your family can grow closer or find compromises to improve home life. A trusted adult or a close family member whom you feel may help intervene and serve as a mediator could be an option as well.

We are not experts on the law, but generally as a minor you are not allowed to leave home until you reach the age of majority (which is 18 in most states); your legal guardian(s) are legally responsible for your care. If you were to leave home without permission from your guardians, they may file a runaway report since you are a minor. This would alert authorities that you are missing in which they may search for you and bring you home. Runaway cases may be handled differently in each city and state. It is often best to contact local non-emergency police to inquire about state laws of runaway minors.

It sounds like some time away from family may help. Do you think your parents would give you permission to live somewhere else for a little while? You mentioned not wanting to live with another family member. Where is it that you would want to go? If you did leave home and needed somewhere to go, we could look in our database for runaway/youth shelters in your area. If you would like more information on resources available to you, please call our direct crisis line.

Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 (www.childhelp.org) may be a helpful resource to learn more about alternative living placements through social services. The number provided is an information and referral line. Something to be aware of is that your guardians would most likely be included in any decision that takes their guardianship away since they have legal rights over you. Oftentimes, a social worker/case worker may meet with your family if social services did become involved.

If you would like to talk more about what is going on or explore some options that may be beneficial to you and your family, please consider calling our crisis line at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

We wish you well and hope whatever decision you make, is one that keeps you safe.

Take care,

NRS

[TheNoLifeKid]

My parents are the type to think family counseling is useless/ a waste. But I'm going to try to ask my own therapist for help on this matter.

And I'm not sure where I would go. The only place I know where to go to is with a friend I don't have a good relationship with, My other friend that I can trust lives in a full apartment. I don't want to feel like a burden to them, especially if I take my siblings or even our pets (we have three dogs, one is big the others are small so I'm also worried about them...).

After yesterday everyone is pretending like nothing happened. And now I'm starting to think that that is the best option to do. Which I hate the most... Forgive and forget? Minus the forgive part... I guess.

It would helpful if you could look in your database for a shelter for us. Maybe that's the only option left. I've only heard of these Youth shelter things. But I don't know much about them...

[ccsmod14]

Re: Re:

Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to us again. It is unfortunate that you do not feel like your parents would be up to do counseling, but it’s a really great move to talk to your therapist about this and see if they would be able to advocate for this to happen.

It sounds like you are interested in exploring the shelter options. Your safety is always our priority. One resource you can explore is nationalsafeplace.org. This is a site that you can look into in order to see if there are any shelters near you, or if there is a place that you can go to in order to get help from a crisis worker.

All shelters are different, so we cannot say for sure what they would or would not do but generally, shelters would get in contact with either legal guardians, law enforcement or Child Protective Services of your state within 24 hours. This is because if you are under the age of 18, someone else is legally responsible for you as a minor, so they could be held liable if anything were to happen.

It sounds like there’s been a lot going on but we are here to support you. Please do call or chat with us if you want to talk more, we’re always here to listen and here to help.

Stay safe,
NRS