Awful situation and awful lifestyle, I really need help!!

[Unregistered]

The past 2 years were abslute h*** for me. We moved into my brothers house after we were evicted. There are 13 people here, including a baby. I dont have my own room, space or any privacy. My sister in law listens to everything that isnt her business. I dont have a job, a car or any new clothes. I have a bunch of old things and there wont be any money for school. Everythings always put off until last minute.
Its the same routine every single freaking day. Summer has been awful and i have nothing to talk about or be proud of anything during the summer.
I am 17 and a vegetarian. My mom hates that i am and constantly tries to convert me back. I cant stand it. My mom constantly nags at me about problems and tells me to do work around the house when im always doing it. She yelled at me for trying to get help with counseling and she said everyone just wants your money and they dont care. The father is a complete loser, dont even ask.
I need a dermatologist for my bad eczema but she constantly 'forgets' about it. She never has any money and if she does its gone in a flash. Theres no hope of getting away from this stress and even though im 17, i cant wait another 6 months for something to happen. Even if i did, i wouldnt have enough money to leave. Ive been trying to get a job all summer and still nothing.
I have severe depression and no one wants to hear about it. Im constantly alone to deal with my problems. Ive thought about suicide and calling for help from a child protective service, but no one wants to help a 17 year old, almost 18. By the time im 18, ill still be here and nothing will change.
Nothing good came from this, i lost 3 beloved pets the past 2 years and they were very dear to my heart. Ive been very depressed lately and everytime i tell my mom about my depression, she says get over it or other ppl have it worse and disregards my happiness and im left to think about how unloved i am ultimately. I am so overwhelmed and so stressed. I need help but dont know what to do.

[ccsmod3]

Re: Awful situation and awful lifestyle, I really need help!!

Hello there,

Thanks for reaching out and sharing your situation on our bulletin boards. We imagine it took some courage to share personal details about your life on a public forum. We’re very sorry you had to deal with so much these past 2 years and it’s understandable you’d feel so overwhelmed and stressed. You mentioned how you have a pretty full house of 13 people which sounds like it just adds to your existing stress. You stated how you’re vegetarian and your mom doesn’t respect that decision. We imagine you’d have to be a pretty strong person to continue being true to yourself when your parent is constantly trying to convert you back. At the same time, it sounds like there are some very real physical concerns with your eczema that goes unnoticed. We aren’t healthcare professional, but that doesn’t sound like a pleasant place to be physically and emotionally.

Towards the end of your post you mentioned how you have severe depression and don’t feel heard. You also shared how you’ve thought about suicide. Please know although we aren’t here to tell you what to do, we do care about your safety. If you’re ever suicidal, we encourage you to reach out to us and there’s also the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ It seems like you’re pretty discouraged at this point, but we are available to listen and try and help to the best of our ability. If you aren’t sure which direction you’d like to take at this point, that’s okay; we can go over pros and cons of a couple of different options. We’re available to talk more in depth and hope you consider trying out our Live Chat so we can continue going over your situation. Good luck!

[Unregistered]

Thanks, I am constantly overwhelmed by everything. My brother and sister in law are border line in debt and that just adds to the stress. I really thought about it and I have no reason to live. I dont have any minutes on this phone to call anybody. I dont want to call 911 to split us up either. I just want help. Every time i thought of everyone else, no one thought of me. im always forgotten. I hate that. im just thinking about how August 11 is coming up and how I wasnt there when my cat, Willy died. I am so angry and upset with myself i want to scream. I promised him I would be there. I am such a freaking failure.
I guess the reason why i havent done suicide is because im scared that itll hurt. I feel so worthless right now. I dont have any reason to live and no one will care if I die. What are the pros and cons of callimg child services or calling the police. Im stuck and I will turn to anything for advice. I have no where to turn to and I am at the end of the rope, barely holding on.

[ccsmod6]

RE:

Hello again,

Thank you for writing back. It sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed with everything going on. You stated that you feel no one thinks of you when you are always thinking of them. You also shared feeling angry and upset with yourself for some things that happened. It sounds like you carry guilt that seems to weigh on you heavily, and it also seems that you may be feeling alone in all of this. We are wondering who you feel comfortable turning to for support. Sometimes when others are unable to locate primary support in family or friends they may turn to a hobby or an activity that provides a distraction as well as comfort and serenity. What are some things that bring you joy and peacefulness?

You mentioned not being able to call anybody because of your phone minutes. 1-800 numbers are generally free on personal phones. It may help to double check with the phone company you have a phone plan with. Perhaps your phone plan allows you free minutes after a certain time or free altogether since most helplines are toll-free.

You also mentioned feeling that you are at the end of the rope and feeling hopeless and that no one would care if you were gone. We are concerned for your safety and well-being. If you are having thoughts of suicide and feel unsafe, please contact 911 or visit your local emergency hospital. The National Suicide Prevention hotline 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org may be beneficial to you as well to address your feelings of hopelessness and suicidal thoughts. You can chat with someone on the website or call in toll-free.

From what you shared, it seems that you are wondering what the benefits are of contacting the police or child protective services. We are happy to explore this with you if you are able to chat with us via our chat service on our website www.1800runaway.org or reach out by phone 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you can call in without minutes being deducted from your service plan. In general, contacting child protective services can provide you support and referrals to agencies in your community to help address any issues going on in your home. If you needed assistance reaching out to Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 for information and referrals, we would be able to help you with that. There may be some helpful resources on their website as well www.childhelp.org.

Please know that although you may feel alone in your situation, there are several resources available to you, and you do not have to go through this by yourself. We are here to listen and to help as best as we are able to.

We wish you well and hope you stay safe.

Take care,
NRS