toxic relationship with my mom

[Guest]

im 18 and I've always lived with both my parents. but now that im finding out how I really am as a creative person, I have lots of problems with my mom. if I wake up too late in the weekend, she will scream at me, if I go to bed too late, she will scream at me, if I want to change something in my room, she will scream at me. I've been buying clothes with my own money because my mom will only pay for my clothes if she likes them. so, to save money, I go to thrift and vintage stores, I love the vintage style and I end up saving money. she says its disgusting and that I should buy clothes in 'regular' shops and that I have a really bad taste when it comes to clothes and that in that matter, I am a disappointment. I struggle with acne and sometimes I like to put some face masks bc it makes my skin softer and clearer (my friends always tell me my face looks better the day after I put the mask), my mom, instead, says that 'boys don't put on face masks' and that I am ridiculous. when I say that she screams at me, its in a very mean way, and she actually hurts me when she says im ridiculous and stuff, she doesn't seem to care about my feelings at all. and the most ridiculous part: if I want to have a shower 3 times a week, she will scream at me and tell me im wasting too much water.she says 1 or 2 times are enough. and the list goes on and on. I tried to tell her that she worries too much about everything and that she has too many rules and that most parents don't do what she does but she starts yelling at me saying that she doesn't care about other parents. and then she's like 'I know you don't like me and that you just wish I was dead, but once I am, maybe you will appreciate me'. honestly what????? how does she want to have a good relationship with me if she won't stop yelling at me for the most insignificant thing?? I really don't know what to do pls someone help.

[ccsmod10]

Hello,

Thank you for contacting NRS through our online forum service. It sounds like you’re in a very tough situation at home with your mother and are having a lot of difficulty with how she treats you and the things she says to you at home. It’s great that you are finding your creativity and it is understandable that you’d like to have more freedom to dress how you’d like and take care of yourself as well.

Have you tried talking to another trusted adult about the situation with your mother at home? Possibly someone at school or another member of your family? You deserve to be treated with respect and feel comfortable at home. If you do run away, there are resources that may be able to help you get on your feet. We encourage you to contact us 1-800-RUNAWAY or utilize our online message service at 1800runaway.org to help devise a plan for your safety if you do decide to run away.
Additionally, we offer a conference call service and would be able to facilitate a healthy and open conversation with you and your mother if you feel that would help establish a better environment at home for you. You’d establish the ground rules (e.g., no swearing, yelling, interrupting) and one of our liners would enforce those while you talk to your parents about what’s going on.

Thank you again for reaching out to NRS and we wish you the best of luck moving forward. Please do not hesitate to give us a call or contact us via our message service.