I can't take it anymore.

[Unregistered]

I'm 17, residing in Georgia & living with my parents who are emotionally, verbally & sometimes physically abusive. On June 14, while I was attending an event with my friends, my dad kicked me out of the house & basically told me not to come back because he was in one of his bipolar anger moods and decided to change his mind at that moment that he didn't give me permission to leave the house. School ended in May and this was my first time leaving the house to do something fun that he said I could but because of whatever reason, he knew I wouldn't be able to make it back in the time span he gave me (3 MINUTES), so I didn't go home at all. I stayed with my boyfriend & his mom for a couple of weeks. I kept in contact with my grandmother who lives in Canada & she relayed to me that my parents were very worried & wanted me to come back home, so that was the only reason I went back. I thought they would change their ways but they still treated me the same way, if not worse. I lived with my parents again for almost a week before I left due to heavily suicidal thoughts & not feeling safe or comfortable in their environment. I went back with my boyfriend's family again. A couple of days ago, I went back home to retrieve my work shoes & a package I received in the mail when my parents werent home & it was only my siblings. My dad unexpectedly came while I was in the house & called the cops on me and my boyfriend. The police officer basically told me that I don't have a choice and I have to stay with my parents and to just "tough it out" since Ill be 18 in 2 months. Shortly after the cops left, I ran out of the house & my boyfriend picked me up. My dad reported me as a runaway and when I told my boyfriends mom what happened, she called DFCS & I had a meeting with a lady who ultimately made my life worse. Now, Im back home, have to quit my job, & am harrassed and told im worthless every second of every day. I know I can't deal with this any longer and I will commit suicide if I have to stay here. I wanted to know if I run away again & my parents report me, can I stay hidden away until Im 18? Im willing to do anything I can to get out of this household.

[ccsmod13]

RE: I can't take it anymore

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline and sharing with us some of what has been going on. We are so sorry to hear that you do not get along with your family and that your dad sets unreasonable time limits on what you would like to do. No one can do what they want in three minutes, it must be hard to live under that roof. We understand the reasoning behind what made you decide to leave. It sounds like you have been doing what you needed to do in order to stay safe. Everyone deserves to be with people that love and appreciate them, not that make them feel worthless and are harassed on a constant basis. Thank you for sharing some of your story with us. We are not here to tell you what to do, we want to make sure you are safe and will try to support you in any way that we can.

We are not legal experts, but we can speak in general terms on what could happen if you decided to leave without parental permission. Generally, you are not an adult until you turn 18. If you were to leave the house before then, your legal guardian would have the option of filing a runaway report. Running away is not a criminal offense, it is a status offense. This means that you cannot do it because of your age, not because it is against the law. If you are found then you will just be brought back home. However, anyone that you decide to stay with could be charged with harboring a runaway, which is a criminal offense and the severity of that is different in every state.

Sometimes 17 is a tricky age and can be seen as a grey area. It is ultimately up to the cops on if they will force you to return home or not. It sounds from your past experiences that they will force you until you turn 18, which is in 2 months. It can also depend on the office and how he sees the situation. Meaning, if you were to run away again and a different officer was called to the scene, he may feel differently and not make you stay at home with your family.

You had a good question, if you were to leave and stay hidden what could happen. If you were to leave and not found by the cops, then when you turn 18 the runaway report would no longer be significant and the police would not be able to force you to return home. Generally, at 18 your parents cannot restrict you from anything because you are an adult.

You had mentioned that if you were kicked out that you would go to your boyfriends place. Again it is great that you have them that you can turn to for support. We would also like to mention that up until you turn 18 your parents have to provide for you. If they do not, such as kicking you out, then you as the minor have the right to file a neglect report with your state agency. You can call Child Help USA at 1800-422-4453 to get more information on that as well as make a neglect report if that happened.

Another thing to be aware of is that essentially a neglect report and a runaway report are official documents. If you were to get kicked out, you file a neglect report, and then your dad attempts to file a runaway report, the police may not allow him to do so since he kicked you out. It can come to which report was filed first. That is something to be aware of.

You had mentioned that you have had heavy suicidal thoughts. It must be hard to have those thoughts on a constant basis when you are home with your family. We would like to offer you the National Suicide Hotline at 1800-237-TALK. This is a hotline that you can call for support when you are feeling like you can’t do it anymore. They also have a website that you can visit at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org . They have a chat service on there and you can chat with them instead of calling their hotline.

We hoped this helped and if you would like to discuss your situation in greater detail you can call us on our hotline or you can chat with us on our website. We look forward to hearing from you and we wish you the best of luck.

NRS