Tweet
Hey there,
I am 15, 16 in a few months, and I have been thinking of running away for quite some time now. I grew up in a family of 4 where my older sister (20 now) was always considered the perfect child. I constantly felt alone, and when I mentioned this to my parents, they would call me 'Silly' and tell me I was wrong. Just note that I have ALWAYS had over protective parents.
My problems started when I reached middle school. I watched everyone around me have this freedom than I wanted. I slipped into depression and started cutting and drinking early 6th grade. (Currently in 10th) People in school would call me horrible names, teachers would ignore me in class, and my parents would ground me for months at a time for making B's on my report card.
By the time of 8th grade, I was threatening suicide. I had a few failed attempts before this, but my friends never thought much of it. Around November of 06', my cutting problem got much worse and one of my friends brought it to the attention of the Principal. I spent an hour or so in her office and it wasn't friendly. She had her vice principal hold my down so she could check me for cuts, scars, etc. She told me how people like me ruined the school system. One of the things that got to me the most was that she said things like, 'You have mental issues. You need to be put in a mental hospital.' along with many other comments that were uncalled for. My mother was called, and I was sent home.
My dad was out of town, like always, that night. He's never home much because of his job. He still doesn't know to this day what happened. My mom checked my arms, stripped my room, took away everything, and then pulled me out of school. I became homeschooled then. I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone, or do anything without my mom being there. She found me a 'Suitable' homeschool friend which I became very close with over a few months. The girls mom soon discovered my past, and hated me. I decided to go to church with them to kind of make up for everything, but then went downhill. Her mom started telling lies about me to the church, and I was ultimately shuned by everyone. I haven't spoke to my friend in over half a year. All during this time, I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with this guy.
I spend everyday locked in my room, on my laptop for 14+ hours a day because it's honestly the only thing I really can do. My dad is never home, but when he is, we start fighting as soon as he walks in the door. In the end, he always says, 'I am the adult, and you are just a kid. Your opinion doesn't really matter, therefore I win and conversation is over.'
My mom never really stands up for me. Every once in a while, she might add in something like, 'It's not her fault' or something.. but then she'll back down.
I am not allowed to have friends really. Both parents say I am 'To Young' to be with people. Whenever I do get the chance, my mom is right by my side and adding comments to conversations. She's recently developed a horrible habit of speaking for me, or she will talk about me when she knows I am beside her.
Example:
I will be sitting on the couch, dad in the chair, mom at the door.
Dad: Where is (insert name here)?
Mom: I don't know..
Me: I'm right HERE.
Dad: Did you hear something?
Mom:..Nope.
Both my parents are extremely sarcastic, and it hurts. I will tell them how I feel, and they tell me that I am acting stupid (only in vulgar terms) and need to grow up. I have set them down numerous times, and it all ends the same way. I am a child, and I have no say in anything. My parents will be talking in the same room as me, and I'll comment on something..and they say 'We are having a FAMILY discussion. You're not involved.' It's quite sad, really. My mother tunes me out completely, saying that I never told her something or that I am lying because she never said that. Her mother is the same way. (Known to have called me a Poor Excuse for a Granddaughter, Vulgar words, and laugh at me when she makes me cry)
They have put me on many pills as well. Anger, Depression, Even some for Sleep. I have panic attacks often, anixety problems, and I'm extremely paranoid.I have developed Anorexia over the years as well. I'm getting to the point where I am physically ill because of the lack of love, belief, human contact, etc. My mother has also been known to make me take her prescription Panic Attack pills.
I do not feel comfortable in my own home anymore. A 50 year old man has been living with us for about 12 weeks now, and I am scared. My mom will NOT kick him out, just because he is a friend of my dads. I think he is moving out Wednesday morning though. Not completely sure.
I have thought that running away was a stupid idea, but for the past few months I have packed my bags several times. I have decided to NOT leave unless I have a full safe plan. I have recently found a Runaway Center an hour away from my place, and I am considering going there. I am also considering asking my parents if I could stay there for a while until I figure things out further. They will more than likely say no, but I hope they don't.
If I did run away, I have a place to stay...but it's 600 miles away. My (sorta kinda) Ex Boyfriend has over $1,000 saved for us and he has always wanted me to be with him in his town. If I ran away, I would either stay with him, or at the Runaway Center an hour away.
I would really really like to stay at the Runaway Center, and I know it would hurt my parents, but they cause me so much emotional pain..and I think it would be best. Please, what are you opinions? I have obviously given this alot of thought, I just need some courage.
-Automatically Wrong
I am 15, 16 in a few months, and I have been thinking of running away for quite some time now. I grew up in a family of 4 where my older sister (20 now) was always considered the perfect child. I constantly felt alone, and when I mentioned this to my parents, they would call me 'Silly' and tell me I was wrong. Just note that I have ALWAYS had over protective parents.
My problems started when I reached middle school. I watched everyone around me have this freedom than I wanted. I slipped into depression and started cutting and drinking early 6th grade. (Currently in 10th) People in school would call me horrible names, teachers would ignore me in class, and my parents would ground me for months at a time for making B's on my report card.
By the time of 8th grade, I was threatening suicide. I had a few failed attempts before this, but my friends never thought much of it. Around November of 06', my cutting problem got much worse and one of my friends brought it to the attention of the Principal. I spent an hour or so in her office and it wasn't friendly. She had her vice principal hold my down so she could check me for cuts, scars, etc. She told me how people like me ruined the school system. One of the things that got to me the most was that she said things like, 'You have mental issues. You need to be put in a mental hospital.' along with many other comments that were uncalled for. My mother was called, and I was sent home.
My dad was out of town, like always, that night. He's never home much because of his job. He still doesn't know to this day what happened. My mom checked my arms, stripped my room, took away everything, and then pulled me out of school. I became homeschooled then. I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone, or do anything without my mom being there. She found me a 'Suitable' homeschool friend which I became very close with over a few months. The girls mom soon discovered my past, and hated me. I decided to go to church with them to kind of make up for everything, but then went downhill. Her mom started telling lies about me to the church, and I was ultimately shuned by everyone. I haven't spoke to my friend in over half a year. All during this time, I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with this guy.
I spend everyday locked in my room, on my laptop for 14+ hours a day because it's honestly the only thing I really can do. My dad is never home, but when he is, we start fighting as soon as he walks in the door. In the end, he always says, 'I am the adult, and you are just a kid. Your opinion doesn't really matter, therefore I win and conversation is over.'
My mom never really stands up for me. Every once in a while, she might add in something like, 'It's not her fault' or something.. but then she'll back down.
I am not allowed to have friends really. Both parents say I am 'To Young' to be with people. Whenever I do get the chance, my mom is right by my side and adding comments to conversations. She's recently developed a horrible habit of speaking for me, or she will talk about me when she knows I am beside her.
Example:
I will be sitting on the couch, dad in the chair, mom at the door.
Dad: Where is (insert name here)?
Mom: I don't know..
Me: I'm right HERE.
Dad: Did you hear something?
Mom:..Nope.
Both my parents are extremely sarcastic, and it hurts. I will tell them how I feel, and they tell me that I am acting stupid (only in vulgar terms) and need to grow up. I have set them down numerous times, and it all ends the same way. I am a child, and I have no say in anything. My parents will be talking in the same room as me, and I'll comment on something..and they say 'We are having a FAMILY discussion. You're not involved.' It's quite sad, really. My mother tunes me out completely, saying that I never told her something or that I am lying because she never said that. Her mother is the same way. (Known to have called me a Poor Excuse for a Granddaughter, Vulgar words, and laugh at me when she makes me cry)
They have put me on many pills as well. Anger, Depression, Even some for Sleep. I have panic attacks often, anixety problems, and I'm extremely paranoid.I have developed Anorexia over the years as well. I'm getting to the point where I am physically ill because of the lack of love, belief, human contact, etc. My mother has also been known to make me take her prescription Panic Attack pills.
I do not feel comfortable in my own home anymore. A 50 year old man has been living with us for about 12 weeks now, and I am scared. My mom will NOT kick him out, just because he is a friend of my dads. I think he is moving out Wednesday morning though. Not completely sure.
I have thought that running away was a stupid idea, but for the past few months I have packed my bags several times. I have decided to NOT leave unless I have a full safe plan. I have recently found a Runaway Center an hour away from my place, and I am considering going there. I am also considering asking my parents if I could stay there for a while until I figure things out further. They will more than likely say no, but I hope they don't.
If I did run away, I have a place to stay...but it's 600 miles away. My (sorta kinda) Ex Boyfriend has over $1,000 saved for us and he has always wanted me to be with him in his town. If I ran away, I would either stay with him, or at the Runaway Center an hour away.
I would really really like to stay at the Runaway Center, and I know it would hurt my parents, but they cause me so much emotional pain..and I think it would be best. Please, what are you opinions? I have obviously given this alot of thought, I just need some courage.
-Automatically Wrong
Comment