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It’s either running away or suicide

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  • It’s either running away or suicide

    Hi, I’m a 16 year old boy and I live in New Jersey and from the outside I seem like a normal kid. I play lacrosse, I have a good group of friends, I’ve never been picked on or bullied, and I have loving parents. But everyday I go to school my head feels like it’s about to explode, I’m depressed all the time and I beat myself up mentally about things. I know it may not not seem that serious, but I have another serious issue. From time to time and now very often I have suicidal thoughts. I think of what would happen if I were to raid my medicine capnit and overdose on pills or NyQuil. I wake up in the middle of the night with these thoughts and I can’t fall asleep. I’m also thinking about running away. I don’t think suicide is a good option because I feel like I would go to hell or my parents would be extremely upset with themselves and it would tear my family apart. I talk to my mom all the time about how I seem normal but I’m really not. She tells me to keep going but it pains me whenever I don’t share my real feelings. I’ve tried to once and started crying and lied and said I was upset about my dad because he’s changed a lot due to his crazy amount of hours at work. At this time too my mom was sent to the er for extremely high blood pressure spikes that were lofe threatening and I would feel as if I was abandoning her. I don’t want my parents to hate me but I need to get out of my town. It’s hard to talk about your feelings when your like me and i have no trust in my guidance counselor. I know a lot of street smarts because of my many independent trips to philly. I know I could survive and I’m smart about drugs and I understand the consequences of becoming addicted while on the road. Please help me

  • #2
    Reply: It’s either running away or suicide

    Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

    It sounds like you are in a tough situation and may be looking for some options to help cope with everything.
    We understand how difficult it must have been to speak about what you have been feeling.
    You are very brave for doing so. Good for you.
    NRS would like you to know we are here to support you at this difficult time.
    It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change.

    Your safety and well-being is important.
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

    Sometimes when communication breaks down with someone you are close to. This may make it difficult to know just where to turn. Even though you have some trust issues with your guidance counselor you did well reaching out today. We would like you to know NRS is here to listen and here to help. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of.

    Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); (click on the chat button).

    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Be safe and stay strong,
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


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