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  • My dad choked me

    It was just like any other day but my dad and I started to argue over something small then it escalated and he threw his coffee all over the kitchen and grabbed my neck with his hand and he pushed me backwards across the kitchen into the wall tried pulling me up the wall by my neck and screaming in my face while im struggling there looking at him and hes screaming at me. What do I do? What could I do?

  • #2
    Hi, thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of courage to be able to explain your situation to us. No one should be physically abused. You certainly did not deserve to be choked or pulled against a wall. That must have been terrifying. You do not deserve that treatment at all and you show a lot of bravery telling us what had happened. In this case, you could complete a child abuse report. You can always call and we could help you file an abuse report. You can reach us 24 hours a day 7 days a week at 1-800- RUNAWAY. You can also reach out to the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453 to file an abuse report. However, only you can make the decision as to whether or not you want to follow through with an abuse report. We are mandated reporters so if you were to call us and wanted to just talk about other options and not file an abuse report you would just need to make sure to not give us your father’s name or information. No matter what you ultimately choose to do, we are here as support for you and you are welcome to call at any time or reach out to us via chat on our website or email us at [email protected] . You can also contact a teacher or guidance counselor to file an abuse report. You do not deserve abuse of any kind and if you want to chat more about your situation or would like to discuss other options please do not hesitate to call. We wish you the best of luck.
    - NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      I’m 22 years old....I still live at home with my parents. I work full time and go to school part time. We all were eating on the patio. And everyone went inside except me and my dad. He started saying I was being disrespectful and he was a second a way from slapping me. I was trying to walk past him in a calm manner and he grabbed me by the neck and squeezed pulling me up. I couldn’t breathe. Slightly gagged and panicked. I stepped back and screamed no. I don’t know what to do. I always excuse his actions bc he is my dad and I start to think it’s my fault. I need help I don’t know what to do

      Comment


      • #4
        Reply: I’m 22 years old....


        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).
        We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way.
        NRS is a crisis service for youth 21 and under. If you would like assistance or speak with someone about your situation you might consider contacting the Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233

        It may also be a good to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust for support. If you are at risk or feeling unsafe contact 9-1-1 for immediate help.

        Take care,
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          So my day was just like any other but when I woke up I really didn’t want to go to tennis my dad came in and I was scared of him before because sometimes he would grab me by the ear and twist it and just in general he was kind of mean to me but any way I told him I wasn’t going and offered to pay for the lesson but instead of some sort of compromise he just picked me up by the neck and squeezed the front part where the Adam’s apple is it hurt and I had trouble breathing but I am 13 and don’t know what to do because it was kind of my fault that he did it

          Comment


          • ccsmod9
            ccsmod9 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,
            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
            Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
            If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
            We hope to hear from you soon.
            Be safe,
            NRS

        • #6
          I’m 14 year old, my dad was eating and he didn’t like the foods because it wasn’t salty and he got really mad. He a very short temper and he hit me in the head and choke me and he start talking while he choke me and he say should I punch you, at that time I just want to die so I didn’t say anything and my body was shaking but I keep a straight face.

          Comment


          • ccsmod15
            ccsmod15 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hey there thanks for reaching out to NRS,
            That seems like a really scary situation to have gone through. You never should be hit or choked like that, especially by a parent. They are supposed to be there to protect you and make sure you are safe, not to threaten you and cause you pain or fear. If you are ever put into a position like that again you can call 911 for help.
            You could probably choose to file an abuse report for that incident as well and either help your dad get into anger management classes at least or you might get taken out of that dangerous house and put into foster care or placement with another family member. You deserve to be protected and to feel safe in your home instead of subjected to the short fuse of your father like that all the time. It can be helpful as well to have pictures of any bruises you may have gotten from your dad, and to write down in a journal the day/time and a description of the events for further evidence for CPS/Police if you do go down that route. https://www.childhelp.org/ is a great resource for learning about your rights and helpful ways to address child abuse or report it.
            We are also here to help you file a report should you choose to. We are also here always to be an ear to listen to you and support you through this scary situation. You aren’t alone and there are people out there willing to help you out. If you need someone to talk to or have more questions, please don’t hesitate to call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or use our online chat at 1800runaway.org.
            Stay safe,
            NRS.

        • #7
          I don't know what to do I was arguing with my brother and then we started wrestling and my dad came down stairs and grabbed me pushed me and I said go away old man because i was angry because he always pushes or throws me and he came at me held me to the couch fot 15 sec chocking me.

          Comment


          • ccsmod15
            ccsmod15 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,
            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
            Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
            If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
            We hope to hear from you soon.
            Be safe,
            NRS

        • #8
          Hi im jaliya im 12 i was choked by my father and got hit with a cord and a belt now i have brusies on my leg and arm i have deppresssion and idk what to do.

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello There,

            Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. You do not deserve to be treated that way and we are sorry you are dealing with that.
            What you have described sounds like abuse, which you do have every right to make a report. There are a few options on how to make an abuse report. One option is to call Child Help at: 1800-422-4453. Another option is you can call or chat with us online and we can help you make an abuse report. You can also talk to a trusted adult about what is going on.
            We want you to know that you are not alone and there is always someone willing to help. If you have any more questions or just need someone to talk to we are here for you. We are available 24/7 by phone or by chat. We wish you the best of luck!
            NRS

        • #9
          My father has been hitting me since I can remember. I can’t remember anything since before I was 8 years old. I have been choked twice by my father once for wanting to do nothing all day and watch TV, which he thought I was just having an attitude. My father has slapped me countless times and has punched the top of my head just as much. My father has told me that my feelings and opinions don’t matter, and has made decisions about my life without telling me. Recently he made a plan for me to work at a restaurant that I specifically told him I didn’t want to work at. I worked their for the day because situations like this has happened so many times but when I needed for him to pick me up he got mad because he was out drinking with friends and had to order me an Uber. He was mad bc my Uber account wasn’t working and was being rude and angry and was yelling at me. So I yelled back on the phone, “maybe I wouldn’t need an Uber if you weren’t out drinking all the time” he got mad and I haven’t seen him since. My mom told me that my dad was furious that I said that to him, and said I should leave my home for the night so he doesn’t get angry when he sees me. I’m so scared and fear for my safety. What can I do? If he hits me can I fight back?? What should I do? Thank you.

          Comment


          • ccsmod0
            ccsmod0 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,
            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
            Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
            If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
            We hope to hear from you soon.
            Be safe,
            NRS

        • #10
          One day My step mom told me how i didnt take care of my rabbit then i was like i want to kill myself but i didnt then my dad heard that and he was like did i hear what i think she said so then he grabbed me bye the jaw and pick me up and through me through the doors the he started choking me

          Comment


          • ccsmod15
            ccsmod15 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,
            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
            Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
            If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
            We hope to hear from you soon.
            Be safe,
            NRS

        • #11
          I can never seem to do anything right or make high enough grades foe my parents and when my dad gets mad he will hit me with sticks and throw me and punch and kick me and choke me out and i dont know what to do. I really want to just give up on life and commit suicide even tho i know its not the right option what should i do.

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thanks for reaching out to NRS. We’re so sorry to hear that you’re dealing with physical abuse at home. It sounds like a really tough situation and you feel like you can never do anything right. No one has the right to hurt you. It takes courage to speak out about what you’re experiencing right now and to ask for help. We’re glad you did. If you want to report that physical abuse, you can make an Abuse Report. Child Help USA is an information and referral line that can connect you with your local CPS abuse hotline where you can make a report about the abuse you’re experiencing. That number is 1-800-422-4453. You mentioned wanting to give up on life. We know you’re in a tough situation right now, but your life is important. If you are seriously considering ending your life, know that you can speak directly to a real human being at the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit them online at suicidepreventionlifeline.org. You’re not alone! Thanks for reaching out with your story. Give us a call if you want to talk through options for next steps or just discuss the situation. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) We’re available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and we’re totally confidential. Call anytime. Best of luck, NRS

        • #12
          My dad cane home drunk with his friend his friend stumbled into my room fell into to woke me up keep in mind I'm a schizophrenic I went down stairs scared out of my mind because theres this drunk man who fell on me then hit the floor It takes me 20 minutes to wake my dad up instead of getting his friend down he yells at me and grabs me by the throat throws me down then put me in a sleeper hold I hit him twice in the head after and now he is saying I touched him first saying I tried to hit him 5 times before that.

          Comment


          • ccsmod16
            ccsmod16 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thanks for reaching out to NRS. We’re so sorry to hear that you’re dealing with physical abuse at home. It sounds like a really tough situation!. No one has the right to hurt you. It takes courage to speak out about what you’re experiencing right now and to ask for help. We’re glad you did. If you want to report that physical abuse, you can make an Abuse Report. Child Help USA is an information and referral line that can connect you with your local CPS abuse hotline where you can make a report about the abuse you’re experiencing. That number is 1-800-422-4453. You are not alone! Give us a call if you want to talk through options for next steps or just discuss the situation. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) We’re available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and we’re totally confidential. Call anytime. Best of luck, NRS

        • #13
          Hi um im 14 so not really sure if this counts as abuse? It was a Sunday on Thanksgiving break and i was up late doing stuff so i slept in til about 11. My Dad works 7 days a week and my mom literally does nothing so the second i got up he told me i had to help him fix the sink. We argued about it because i dont understand why my mom or sister couldnt help him because i have so much homework to do and clean my room but he insisted i help him. Eventually he got really mad and covered my mouth and nose with his hand to shut me up and started yelling at me and he held the position until i ripped his hand away because i actually couldnt breathe. Its not like this is new either, my parents sometimes yank my hair or pin me to the wall and grab me and they used to slap me until i was about 11 when i told them that it was abuse and that they couldnt do that to me or my sister. My mom often has spilt personalities around me and my sister she is really nice but when my dad is home shes mean and never stands up for us. Could someone tell me what sort of problem she has? Also does what my parents do count as abuse? Id also like to let it be known my dad isnt always like this just when hes provoked. And one more thing? My mom is always slapping my butt and ive repeatedly told her to stop but she never does and it makes me feel that when i say no it doesnt mean anything because whenever i say no to most things they always ignore me or force me to do it anyway. Thanks for listening..

          Comment


          • ccsmod16
            ccsmod16 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi,
            Thanks for reaching out; we are glad that you did. It sounds like things are really stressful and confusing at home. Between your mom’s split personality and slapping your butt. It wasn’t clear whether she thinks this is spanking, or if she does it at random times, but it sounds like you didn’t deserve it either way. We can’t tell what her problem is, but it sounds like something is wrong there.
            And your dad’s hand over your nose and mouth so that you couldn’t breathe sounds abusive because what he did to you is not OK at all. It must have been really scary. You didn’t deserve that and he was wrong to do that to you. Pinning you to the wall is also not right, that sounds scary too.
            Do you have a teacher or school counselor or social worker you can reach out to? Or a family member that you trust? Or you can reach out to us by phone or live chat so that we can have a conversation with you about all of this. We truly hope to hear from you so that we can listen and help you find support.
            We are here 24/7 and all our services are confidential. 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) by phone, or this website for live chat. We hope to hear from you soon.

        • #14
          me and my dad got in an argument about my phone, it’s always a touchy subject but i started getting upset and i called my mom dumb for not knowing how to work the app. i was already triggered that i was trying to do my homework and they interrupted bit then out of nowhere (i guess he was protecting my mom) my dad came and dragged me out of my chair by the throat and started choking me, i’m not sure what to do cause i know what i did was wrong but i feel like that was unnecessary and now i can’t talk very well-

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello There,

            Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time and we want you to know that you are not alone.

            What you have described sounds like it could be abuse, and we are sorry you had to deal with that. If you would like to make an abuse report, you do have that option and there are a few ways you can do that. One option to consider would be to contact Child Help: 1800-422-4453, and they would be able to help with filing an abuse report. You can also talk with a school counselor or a teacher and because they are mandated reporters they would be able to help with a report. You can also always contact us by phone or by chat and we can help with making a report.

            You could consider talking to your parents about how this interaction triggered you and how you wish it would be handled differently.

            We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options, please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you the best of luck!

            NRS

        • #15
          Hi I am 12 years old, I have been getting beating a lot and recently I got chocked by dad just because I did not submit a day's homework and my mom comes in and say beat him up more so he will learn, it really hurt and now I have some bruises on my neck and arms and also I was kicked and I fell onto the floor and my dad kicked so hard I was spitting out blood, no matter what I still love my parents but I felt like I needed to talk to somebody.

          Comment


          • ccsmod3
            ccsmod3 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hey there. Thanks for contacting us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step. It's understandable that you'd want someone to talk to--it sounds like things have been pretty tough at home with your parents. No matter what, physical abuse is not okay, and we're sorry that it's happening to you.

            It sounds like you might be pretty banged up right now. If there's a safe way for you to document your injuries, like by taking a photo of them and writing down what happened, that might be a good idea. That way if Child Protective Services (CPS) gets involved and those injuries are no longer present, they'll still be able to see how you're being treated at home. If you're feeling pretty crummy and think you might need medical care right now, there are a couple of things that you can do--contact your local law enforcement agency (usually by calling 911) and let them know you need help. You can also reach out to us here at NRS, by phone or through our live chat, and we can contact them for you. Then, if you want, we'll keep talking to you until they arrive and you feel safe.

            If doing either of those things isn't an option for you or you don't feel like you need immediate attention, another option would be to file an abuse report with CPS. CPS is an agency that was created to ensure the safety of children. When a report is made, they usually start an investigation to see how they can best ensure the safety of the children who are in the home and affected by the abuse. In a case like yours, they'd likely respond very quickly. If this is something you'd like to do, you can go about it in a few different ways. You can contact them on your own, by Googling your state and Child Protective Services agency. Their website will tell you how to file a report. You can also let a teacher/school social worker or counselor know what's happening and they'll file a report on your behalf. Another way to file a report is by contacting us here at NRS. We can file a report with you or for you, or we can just hang out on the line and keep you company if you prefer to do it yourself.

            If you want to just talk more about what's going on or ask any other questions, we're here for that too. You can reach us by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by popping into one of our live chats at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

            Hang in there.

            NRS
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