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hi, I’m 16 and for awhile I’ve been considering moving in with my grandparents for my senior year. My parents/family are by no means abusive, they have tried their best to provide me with the best environment possible. however, they are very overprotective as a result (ex., my mom grounded me because my friends were laughing in the car when i called her, claiming it was unsafe). there have been a lot of problems in my family since i was a kid, my parents and mom/sister fight constantly and while i rarely fight w them (although i am sometimes rude and provoking, so im not totally innocent), i find myself skipping dinners so i dont have to eat with them, of being so angry that i have to react physically by tearing up paper or crying. recently i lied about going to a party where drugs/alcohol were present (saying i was going over my friend’s house) just to rebel a little bit. i didn’t do anything or even have a fun time, so i dont think i’d do it again. i feel bad about it, but my parents don’t let me do a lot: i can’t have a boyfriend, go to concerts w/o a chaperone, control most of my money, or even get a job, with the excuse these are unsafe or will destroy my grades. I have straight A’s and am in the top 5% of my class in a relatively competitive high school, so i don’t feel as though the latter is just.
in addition, my mom expects me to get a PhD or doctorate eventually. i dont know if i even want to go to grad school, and i feel like my path has been set up for me since I was born, basically to be like my mother, who is a Turkish immigrant and comes from far less ideal prospects than myself. I understand she wants the best for me, but it still makes it feel constricting. my entire life is built around professional success. i feel like i never got to be a kid.
i see a counselor for anxiety/panic attacks and while mental illness runs in my family, its generally in the vein of alcoholism and depression, and i dont feel as if my prescence in the household is helping me.
my grandparents live across the country and i dont want to leave my friends. i dont even really want to leave my parents. i love them and cant picture my world without them. theyre great people, i just dont know if i can live with them anymore. i dont want them to feel like bad parents or embarrass them. i live in suburbia and i feel like there would be a lot of gossip, and it would destroy my mom, considering my sister (who is an adult) is also moving out. im scared and i dont know what to do. i love my parents and don’t want to hurt them. what should i do?
in addition, my mom expects me to get a PhD or doctorate eventually. i dont know if i even want to go to grad school, and i feel like my path has been set up for me since I was born, basically to be like my mother, who is a Turkish immigrant and comes from far less ideal prospects than myself. I understand she wants the best for me, but it still makes it feel constricting. my entire life is built around professional success. i feel like i never got to be a kid.
i see a counselor for anxiety/panic attacks and while mental illness runs in my family, its generally in the vein of alcoholism and depression, and i dont feel as if my prescence in the household is helping me.
my grandparents live across the country and i dont want to leave my friends. i dont even really want to leave my parents. i love them and cant picture my world without them. theyre great people, i just dont know if i can live with them anymore. i dont want them to feel like bad parents or embarrass them. i live in suburbia and i feel like there would be a lot of gossip, and it would destroy my mom, considering my sister (who is an adult) is also moving out. im scared and i dont know what to do. i love my parents and don’t want to hurt them. what should i do?
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