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I’m 18 years old female. Have lived with my single mother and brother for my whole life. My dad is still a part of my life and see him a couple days a month. I have started University and I commute so I live at home. The thing is home is very unstable. My mom and I are constantly getting in arguements over petty stuff. She accuses me of acting disrespectful towards her and many other things. Recently I decided to make an appointment with a therapist because I knew it would help with my recent anger issues and depression. She got mad at me for doing it without her consent, even after she yelled at me before that I was making decisions by myself. She also doesn’t support me that I have depression.
Today it got worse. Now a days at night I can’t sleep. I stress about school and other problems and usually stay up all night not falling asleep til 4-6am. I wake up later in the day and just feel so drained I take naps thourghout the day. This sets her off. I woke up around 12pm today and she just got home and started yelling at me. Saying I was disrespectful, and was getting on her nerves and have always had. Saying “you know how I couldn’t have had you’re brother well I could’ve easily not had you”. She took my phone away, opened my window so the neighbors could see her yelling at me to change. I was naked and had to change in front of her and the opened window. She made fun of my hair, me not wearing makeup and then started mocking me.
She then told me yelled at me hurry up because we’re going to my uncle house for his birthday and by this time I was crying and contemplating on what to do next. We got to my uncles and I was a mess. My whole family looked at me and I got so embarrassed and my mom said she had punished me, and was smiling. And yes my whole family knows how my mom can get when she’s mad and that if we’re crying it’s something pretty bad. I started to have a panic attack and ran into a bathroom to breathe. She came in told me to get out or else she would hit me unitl she ripped my lips off. She then acted like everything was fine. She was laughing and acting nice meanwhile I sat across from her trying to get myself together.
Now I’m debating if I should runaway and go with my dad and stepmom. I can’t live in this house any longer. If I try to talk to her she brushes it off. If I want more freedom she takes it away. I can’t go anywhere because I don’t have money or a job. Yes I have applied for a job but she made me cancell the interview. She said “if you go work there you’re dropping out of college and I’m kicking you out”. I have no other option I also don’t want to leave my brother here because he’s the only other person who understands and we’re very close. I can’t speak up because she accuses me of lying. I just don’t know what to do and all this stuff happening with her is taking a toll at school. I can’t take my phone because she pays for it, i can’t take the car because she owns it. I tell her if I get a job I can pay for things like my car insurance and phone bill as well as help her, but then she says no or else. I’m just tired of this and want to leave it all behind and live in my car, but then again its in her name because I’m not paying for it. It’s no use talking to her because I’ve already had. I just don’t know what to do.
I’m afraid I’m going to be stuck here for the rest of my life. I don’t even have a boyfriend or talk to boys because of her. She hates my best friends because they party and do things teenagers do. They all go to different schools and her taking my phone away prevents me from talking to them. And so far in college I haven’t made any friends to talk or hang with in classes. I just want to leave.
Today it got worse. Now a days at night I can’t sleep. I stress about school and other problems and usually stay up all night not falling asleep til 4-6am. I wake up later in the day and just feel so drained I take naps thourghout the day. This sets her off. I woke up around 12pm today and she just got home and started yelling at me. Saying I was disrespectful, and was getting on her nerves and have always had. Saying “you know how I couldn’t have had you’re brother well I could’ve easily not had you”. She took my phone away, opened my window so the neighbors could see her yelling at me to change. I was naked and had to change in front of her and the opened window. She made fun of my hair, me not wearing makeup and then started mocking me.
She then told me yelled at me hurry up because we’re going to my uncle house for his birthday and by this time I was crying and contemplating on what to do next. We got to my uncles and I was a mess. My whole family looked at me and I got so embarrassed and my mom said she had punished me, and was smiling. And yes my whole family knows how my mom can get when she’s mad and that if we’re crying it’s something pretty bad. I started to have a panic attack and ran into a bathroom to breathe. She came in told me to get out or else she would hit me unitl she ripped my lips off. She then acted like everything was fine. She was laughing and acting nice meanwhile I sat across from her trying to get myself together.
Now I’m debating if I should runaway and go with my dad and stepmom. I can’t live in this house any longer. If I try to talk to her she brushes it off. If I want more freedom she takes it away. I can’t go anywhere because I don’t have money or a job. Yes I have applied for a job but she made me cancell the interview. She said “if you go work there you’re dropping out of college and I’m kicking you out”. I have no other option I also don’t want to leave my brother here because he’s the only other person who understands and we’re very close. I can’t speak up because she accuses me of lying. I just don’t know what to do and all this stuff happening with her is taking a toll at school. I can’t take my phone because she pays for it, i can’t take the car because she owns it. I tell her if I get a job I can pay for things like my car insurance and phone bill as well as help her, but then she says no or else. I’m just tired of this and want to leave it all behind and live in my car, but then again its in her name because I’m not paying for it. It’s no use talking to her because I’ve already had. I just don’t know what to do.
I’m afraid I’m going to be stuck here for the rest of my life. I don’t even have a boyfriend or talk to boys because of her. She hates my best friends because they party and do things teenagers do. They all go to different schools and her taking my phone away prevents me from talking to them. And so far in college I haven’t made any friends to talk or hang with in classes. I just want to leave.
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