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  • I want to leave.

    I’m 18 years old female. Have lived with my single mother and brother for my whole life. My dad is still a part of my life and see him a couple days a month. I have started University and I commute so I live at home. The thing is home is very unstable. My mom and I are constantly getting in arguements over petty stuff. She accuses me of acting disrespectful towards her and many other things. Recently I decided to make an appointment with a therapist because I knew it would help with my recent anger issues and depression. She got mad at me for doing it without her consent, even after she yelled at me before that I was making decisions by myself. She also doesn’t support me that I have depression.

    Today it got worse. Now a days at night I can’t sleep. I stress about school and other problems and usually stay up all night not falling asleep til 4-6am. I wake up later in the day and just feel so drained I take naps thourghout the day. This sets her off. I woke up around 12pm today and she just got home and started yelling at me. Saying I was disrespectful, and was getting on her nerves and have always had. Saying “you know how I couldn’t have had you’re brother well I could’ve easily not had you”. She took my phone away, opened my window so the neighbors could see her yelling at me to change. I was naked and had to change in front of her and the opened window. She made fun of my hair, me not wearing makeup and then started mocking me.

    She then told me yelled at me hurry up because we’re going to my uncle house for his birthday and by this time I was crying and contemplating on what to do next. We got to my uncles and I was a mess. My whole family looked at me and I got so embarrassed and my mom said she had punished me, and was smiling. And yes my whole family knows how my mom can get when she’s mad and that if we’re crying it’s something pretty bad. I started to have a panic attack and ran into a bathroom to breathe. She came in told me to get out or else she would hit me unitl she ripped my lips off. She then acted like everything was fine. She was laughing and acting nice meanwhile I sat across from her trying to get myself together.

    Now I’m debating if I should runaway and go with my dad and stepmom. I can’t live in this house any longer. If I try to talk to her she brushes it off. If I want more freedom she takes it away. I can’t go anywhere because I don’t have money or a job. Yes I have applied for a job but she made me cancell the interview. She said “if you go work there you’re dropping out of college and I’m kicking you out”. I have no other option I also don’t want to leave my brother here because he’s the only other person who understands and we’re very close. I can’t speak up because she accuses me of lying. I just don’t know what to do and all this stuff happening with her is taking a toll at school. I can’t take my phone because she pays for it, i can’t take the car because she owns it. I tell her if I get a job I can pay for things like my car insurance and phone bill as well as help her, but then she says no or else. I’m just tired of this and want to leave it all behind and live in my car, but then again its in her name because I’m not paying for it. It’s no use talking to her because I’ve already had. I just don’t know what to do.

    I’m afraid I’m going to be stuck here for the rest of my life. I don’t even have a boyfriend or talk to boys because of her. She hates my best friends because they party and do things teenagers do. They all go to different schools and her taking my phone away prevents me from talking to them. And so far in college I haven’t made any friends to talk or hang with in classes. I just want to leave.

  • #2
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are here 24/7 to listen and to support.

    It sounds like you have been in a really tough situation at home for quite some time. We're sorry to hear about everything that you've been facing at home and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your household.

    Because you are 18 and a legal adult, you would be able to leave your house without being considered a runaway. That can be easier said than done because you said that she pays for your phone and things like that, but if you are feeling unsafe and want to leave there are people out there that would want to help. Some options would be looking into programs like Job Corps and AmeriCorps that provide housing and food and also offer counseling and employment aid. There are also things called transitional living programs that also provide housing and help you learn the skills you would need to live an independent life. If you give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could look up resources for you in your area. You also completely have the right to live with your father because you are a legal adult. It can be hard to leave your brother behind, but if the toxic-ness in your house is affecting your school work and mental health so drastically, it could be the best option for you.

    It can be difficult to have a conversation with your mom if it seems that she’s unwilling to engage with you and only yells or gets angry. Sometimes it can be helpful to have another adult around when you’re trying to talk to your mom so that they can stand up for you and try to keep the conversation calm and fair. That person could be a guidance counselor, therapist, family friend, or any other adult you trust. Here at NRS, we also offer a conference call service and can help you have that conversation with your mom. You mentioned that you've already done all you can to try to talk to her, but don't hesitate to reach out if you think this could possibly help.

    Good luck and again, we are always here if you need to talk more.

    Last edited by ccsmod1; 02-19-2018, 03:38 AM.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


    • #3
      I’m stranded in Detroit Michigan and I live in Roanoke vacation and I want too go home because I’m tired of fighting with my dad over ole past memories and his drinking issues I’m soon too be 19 and need a greyhound ticket please help me too get back home too my good family please greyhound.


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are in a really rough situation being stranded with your dad who has drinking issues, and are interested in using our Home Free program to reunite with other family. To start the Home Free family reunification process please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Only when you call us can we start the Home Free process and explore your situation to see if you qualify.

        We look forward to hearing from you and hope you are staying safe,

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