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Problems with my Stepdad

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  • Problems with my Stepdad

    My stepdad and I have been having problems lately. For the past three days, there has been nothing but arguing. The problems have started to get physical. The first day started off as verbal conflict, but it quickly escalated into a physical conflict because I had caught an attitude after some of the things he was saying. At one point, he had got extremely angry and started acting like he was going to kick or punch the wall next to him, he then charged at me and grabbed me by the face and picked me up and threw me onto my bed. I responded by throwing two punches at his head in self-defense, because I was scared since he has been telling me before that he was going to knock me out or hurt me if I ever caught an attitude and due to past abuse from my mom's ex-boyfriend that he knows about. The next day, which was the day before yesterday, he had me go straight to cleaning the house, which I gave no problem with. I was cleaning the bath tub when he came into the bathroom and started getting onto me saying that I am tearing him and my mother apart and that the family can't be a family because of me. Then he started asking me who's fault it is that I hit him and who it was provoked by, I replied with "my fault" to end the conversation because that was the only answer that he would accept. He continued asking until I gave him a different answer which was "I don't want to start anything, so I'm only saying my fault right now." He then got mad and grabbed me by the throat and threw me into the bath tub where a bruise was left on the back of my leg. He then told me that he doesn't want to hear or see me again that day. Later on that day I was told to go downstairs and eat, and I did. As I was sitting at the table, he had checked some of the cleaning that I did on the toilet downstairs. He had got angry because there was some stuff left on the inside of the back of the toilet. He asked if I even did anything and said that I didn't put any effort into cleaning. He then asked again if I even tried, I said "I did try, that toilet looked a lot worse than it does now. I think some of that stuff settled back", because the inside of the back of toilet had a purely black film around the walls, and some was stained on or settled back after I got done scrubbing. After saying that, he got mad and and grabbed me by the throat again and threw me out of the chair into the wall. He then pushed my head into the wall and started yelling. I then caught an attitude again, and told him "Stop, that is the second time today you grabbed me by the throat and threw me". From then on it was constant, relentless arguing, with neither of us stopping. But during all of the arguing, he was constantly back handing me and throwing me around like a ragdoll, and I completely restrained from hitting him back, because I told my mom I wouldn't do it again. At one point he had throw me into a corner where I balled up trying to protect my head, and he knee'd me in the face. I then stood up and he smacked me in the ear hard enough to where I couldn't hear for a bit. He then forced me onto the couch and held me in a choke hold. He then headbutted me and bit my arm. My mother then started hitting him to make him stop hitting me and he walked out for a minute. I then walked to the bathroom to spit blood out of my mouth from the gashes in my cheek from my teeth smashing into my cheek from him back handing me so much and so hard. I am now left with several gashes in my mouth, a black and swollen eye, and a slight mark from where he bit me. Last night I wasn't able to do my homework because he wouldn't let me use my laptop until around 9:30 PM when I was already tired. I had started on it then, but he and my mother got into an argument and he had left for the night. I was then told that I'd have to take my mom to work at 4:30 in the morning so that I had a car today, so instead of running risk with driving while really tired, I decided not to do my homework.

    I know that this is a lot, and I'm sorry for that, but I guess my question is what do I do? Things are only getting worse and I don't want to get hurt more or have him taken away from his two kids that are only young or anything. I know I'm wrong for ever catching an attitude with him, but at this point its hard not to, I feel like its hard to respect him anymore since he and my mother argue and hes constantly threatening to hurt me and to leave. I understand that I am at fault for having an attitude and arguing, but then again some of the things he considers attitude is not me trying to be snotty or mean towards him, and I have tried to explain this but he never listens. I am now currently grounded from everything, and I am only to come out of my room to eat dinner having my only drink of the day with it.

  • #2
    Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand that it takes a great deal of courage to seek help. We are very sorry to hear about how your step dad has been treating you. Abuse is never okay, and you don't deserve to be treated that. If you ever feel as though you are immediate danger, we encourage you to contact the police. You do have the right to report what your step dad has been doing to you. Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is a great resource to learn more about abuse reporting and how to transfer custody. If you would like to make an abuse report, we encourage you to take pictures of your bruises as evidence. Child Protective Services would do an investigation and if they determine that your home is unsafe they would remove you from the home. You could also try talking to someone you trust like a teacher or school counselor, they are mandated reporters so they would have to report the abuse. Another option that you may want to consider is asking your mom if she would allow you to stay with another family member or close friend. There may be a family member that is willing to let you stay with them until you are an adult. You could also look into emancipation laws for your state.

    We hope that this information helps, if you would like to continue to discuss some options that you have please contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat. Please be safe!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


    • #3
      ccsmod2 , thanks for the reply! It means a lot. Even if I was the most disrespectful person ever, does this give a right to do what he did? I personally don't see any justification in what he did which is a great reason of why I can't even consider to forgive him.. A little more to add on, I am a Junior in high school with a 4.0 GPA, I currently have a small internship that I make $360 a month with, and it will be extending to a full time job during the summer if I want it to, making $1000 a month, and then $500-$600 a month during senior year. I want to get another job as well. I am also currently enrolled in college while being half way finished with my degree sitting at 30 credits, and as I said, I am about to be 17. Given these circumstances how probable would being granted emancipation be? And if I were to contact child services, would I be taken to a group home of a sort? I can't be taken to other family since they all live in Florida and moving there would cause me to lose my college credits. Would I be able to point out some houses where I am accepted by friends? At least until I can be emancipated if I take that route? Sorry for all the questions, but I just need a little more insight on things. Thank you so much for the help so far.


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        It sounds like you are very intelligent and hard working. We are not legal experts so we cannot say for sure, but we can provide you with general information. The following are resources that you could contact for more information on emancipation in the state of Georgia. GEORGIA LEGAL SERVICES PROGRAMS, INC

        Atlanta 404-894-7707
        Columbus 706-649-7493
        Gainesville 770-535-5717
        Savannah (912) 354-5678
        Valdosta 229-333-5232

        Please contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat so that we can better assist you. Good Luck !
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