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I'm 17 and live in Washington State. My parents have always been extremely overprotective of me. Over the past year or two I've slowly come to the realization that both my parents are emotionally abusive towards me. They also have their own marital issues.
Most of this abuse comes from my mother. She is the kind of person who seeks out drama and just can't let things go. She'll have a panic attack about the smallest little thing going wrong. She will rant about her current drama multiple times a day for weeks or even months. This is very emotionally draining for me to constantly hear. On more than one occasion I have excused myself from dinner to avoid listening to her.
My mom also expects me to do a ton of housework. I take classes online and at a local community college, which take up a lot of my time. I try my best to follow all her rules and expectations, but I just don't have enough time in the day! And she gets upset at me for not knowing how to cook or wash dishes or other chores that I've never been taught how to do. When I voice this, she takes it as me being lazy and that she might as well do it herself.
Both my mom and dad make fun of me and my insecurities, call me names, and I am often the butt or punchline of their jokes. They get my little sister to join in on this, too. They have control over everything I do. They know all my online account passwords and follow me on all social media to track what I post. My bedtime is 9:00 pm and they get upset when I'm accidentally up even 5 later that that. I get yelled at if I'm not awake, up, and dressed by 8:30. I'm not allowed to have my phone or computer in my bedroom at night. I'm not allowed to learn to drive. Or take the bus. Or get a job because they refuse to drive me. I'm allowed to go see friends only on certain hours on Fridays and Saturdays and if I'm home more than 15 minutes late, I'm not allowed to go out again for a while.
My dad is honestly better than my mom. He's more open to me taking on adult responsibilities like learning to drive or going out on my own or with friends more and he usually stands up to my mom for me. But with some things (like learning to drive) he has no power over my mom's decision.
Like I said, my mom and dad have their own relationship issues, too. My mom has kicked my dad out of their bed because she wanted more space. (This has happened multiple times before and eventually she'll let him back into his bed). My mom claims that, "He doesn't tell me anything. We don't talk, ever."
Over the past few weeks, it's been getting harder and harder for me to deal with this daily emotional abuse. I honestly don't know what to do. All I want is to get out of my house and away from my family. But I feel so stuck. I've spoken to a couple friends about my situation and one offered to let me live with them once I turn 18 in a couple of months. One suggested emancipating myself, but that seems like it would take a long time I don't think I qualify, since I don't have any income. I've researched running away to stay at a shelter. But I don't know if I'm brave enough to go through with it. My parents do love me and would be worried if I just disappeared. And they've made me dependent on them in so many ways, I'm not sure I have the life skills to make it alone.
I've been going to therapy for over a year and have an appointment next week, where I'm going to bring this up. Hopefully I can learn to deal with living at home until I turn 18 or we can figure out a different living situation for me. I know that therapists are mandated reporters of abuse. I think that I'm at a point where getting CPS involved could do some good. However, I want to be prepared for what's going to happen when a report is filed with CPS. Will they call my parents? Will they show up unannounced at my house? Could my parents get into legal trouble?
Please let me know if you have experience with this or any advice for me. I'm new to all this (well not the being-emotionally-abused part but the doing-something-about-it part).
Most of this abuse comes from my mother. She is the kind of person who seeks out drama and just can't let things go. She'll have a panic attack about the smallest little thing going wrong. She will rant about her current drama multiple times a day for weeks or even months. This is very emotionally draining for me to constantly hear. On more than one occasion I have excused myself from dinner to avoid listening to her.
My mom also expects me to do a ton of housework. I take classes online and at a local community college, which take up a lot of my time. I try my best to follow all her rules and expectations, but I just don't have enough time in the day! And she gets upset at me for not knowing how to cook or wash dishes or other chores that I've never been taught how to do. When I voice this, she takes it as me being lazy and that she might as well do it herself.
Both my mom and dad make fun of me and my insecurities, call me names, and I am often the butt or punchline of their jokes. They get my little sister to join in on this, too. They have control over everything I do. They know all my online account passwords and follow me on all social media to track what I post. My bedtime is 9:00 pm and they get upset when I'm accidentally up even 5 later that that. I get yelled at if I'm not awake, up, and dressed by 8:30. I'm not allowed to have my phone or computer in my bedroom at night. I'm not allowed to learn to drive. Or take the bus. Or get a job because they refuse to drive me. I'm allowed to go see friends only on certain hours on Fridays and Saturdays and if I'm home more than 15 minutes late, I'm not allowed to go out again for a while.
My dad is honestly better than my mom. He's more open to me taking on adult responsibilities like learning to drive or going out on my own or with friends more and he usually stands up to my mom for me. But with some things (like learning to drive) he has no power over my mom's decision.
Like I said, my mom and dad have their own relationship issues, too. My mom has kicked my dad out of their bed because she wanted more space. (This has happened multiple times before and eventually she'll let him back into his bed). My mom claims that, "He doesn't tell me anything. We don't talk, ever."
Over the past few weeks, it's been getting harder and harder for me to deal with this daily emotional abuse. I honestly don't know what to do. All I want is to get out of my house and away from my family. But I feel so stuck. I've spoken to a couple friends about my situation and one offered to let me live with them once I turn 18 in a couple of months. One suggested emancipating myself, but that seems like it would take a long time I don't think I qualify, since I don't have any income. I've researched running away to stay at a shelter. But I don't know if I'm brave enough to go through with it. My parents do love me and would be worried if I just disappeared. And they've made me dependent on them in so many ways, I'm not sure I have the life skills to make it alone.
I've been going to therapy for over a year and have an appointment next week, where I'm going to bring this up. Hopefully I can learn to deal with living at home until I turn 18 or we can figure out a different living situation for me. I know that therapists are mandated reporters of abuse. I think that I'm at a point where getting CPS involved could do some good. However, I want to be prepared for what's going to happen when a report is filed with CPS. Will they call my parents? Will they show up unannounced at my house? Could my parents get into legal trouble?
Please let me know if you have experience with this or any advice for me. I'm new to all this (well not the being-emotionally-abused part but the doing-something-about-it part).
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