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hating my step dad and my mom treating me differently

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  • #16
    My mom met my step-dad in late 2018. Most of that year was kind of a weird time for my family because both my siblings had recently been kicked out and I was living alone with my mom for the first time in my life. They moved back in in 2019, but anyways... She met this guy and within a month she asked me if it was okay if he moved in with us. I thought it was really nice of her to ask my opinion and how I felt about him moving in. I said no and that I wasn't really comfortable with it yet. She moved him in anyways.
    There's a ton of general info I could write about my stepdad to show the type of person he is but I think the best example of his personality was the way he handled a situation with my sibling. After a freak accident my stepdad has to rush my sibling to the hospital. Despite my sibling now being (minorly) crippled for life because of his injuries, my stepdad decided to leave my freaked our mom and us at the hospital because my mom made a lighthearted joke about how my sibling (who had gone into shock on the way there) said that the car ride to the hospital felt like forever. My stepdad yelled something about how us stepchildren were "never going to accept him" and just left. That's the type of behavior that really makes you lose respect for a person. In general, I think he's a racist asshole with low self-esteem and anger issues. But recently my mom has been really pushing me to be my step-dads friend because it hurts his feelings that I ignore him. I'm haven't rejected him or been rude to him or anything and I'm generally a pretty anxious and quiet person but I do try to avoid conversation with him because a lot of the time it's uncomfortable and unpleasant. She's punishing me for not talking to him by not allowing me to go to concerts (music is a huge part of life) until I "change my behavior towards him." But I'm really not sure how to. I mean, sometimes you don't enjoy being around certain people and that's fine. I never signed a contract of marriage with the guy, I don't have any obligation to be his friend. My mom knows that I'm not super fond of him from convo's me and her have had. I don't understand why she would punish me all of the sudden. I'm guessing it's because he said something to her about it.
    It's not all bad having a step-dad. He helped convince my mom to let me take a little summer vacation alone across the US to see my girlfriend when I was like 100% sure she was going to say no. But I mean, that's about it on the positives. I'm happy to see my mom in love but I just wish the guy was a better person.

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    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      We hope to hear from you soon.

      Be safe, NRS
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