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17 and my parents make me suicidal

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  • #16
    I’m 18, I’m sitting on the floor of my bathroom right now trying to remind myself that the things my parents and brother say shouldn’t be the reason I kill myself or harm myself. It’s really hard to keep trying when everyone around you is pushing you to the edge as if they want you to die. Even though I just turned 18, I can’t move out. I have no money, I don’t want to go back to the hospital, I just want to graduate. I don’t want to cut myself tonight, even though I know how great it would feel, because I have prom in two weeks. I’ve been working so hard against self harm so I can look nice at prom. I’m so close to graduating which I never thought I’d make it to, and yet the closer I get, the worse I’m treated and the worse I feel. I don’t want to kill myself but at the same time I really do, I don’t know if that makes sense. I told my family to stop yelling at me tonight because it was pushing me closer to acting on my suicidal thoughts, and they yelled at me even more and made jokes about me. The said I pull the “suicide card” anytime I want to get out of a situation. I begged them to stop and they didn’t. I wish they understood, I wish they knew how hard I’m trying to stay alive. It feels so isolating and alone like no one on the whole planet will understand me. I’m running out of reasons to keep trying.

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    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe and stay strong,
      NRS
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