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**ccsmod6** · 09-07-2008, 12:26 PM

Re: Calling In Question

Hi,

Thanks for posting on your bulletin board. We are glad that you are thinking about calling us. It sounds like you are pretty worried about your Dad finding out that you are contacting us. What do you think might happen if he were to find out? What are you most worried about?

Just so you know, we are completely anonymous and confidential. That means that when you call us you won’t have to give any identifying information about yourself. Also, we would never share anything you tell us. Even if you did end up giving us your name and then your dad called wanting to find out what we talked about, we could not and would not tell him. Sometimes parents do call us because they have found our number lying around or they think their youth might have called us. If this happened and your dad called us, we would just explain that we are a crisis line that speaks to youth about a wide variety of issues.

In your post, you specifically asked whether or not our phone number would appear on phone bills. If your father gets a list of all of the outgoing calls, our number would probably appear as unidentified or all 5s. Because our line is confidential, it comes up as blocked or 1-555-555-5555 on caller IDs. You may be able to delete your call history from your cell phone, but it would still show up or be represented in your monthly statement. Unfortunately, we do not have any specific information about how Comcast handles this. You may be able to call Comcast and ask a customer service representative.

If you are really worried about your Dad finding out that you are calling us from a cell phone or your home phone, are there other phones you could use? Do you think a friend would let you use their phone? Or what about a payphone? 1-800-RUNAWAY is a toll free number so it would be free to call from any payphone. What other options are available to you?

We look forward to speaking with you,
NRS

**Guest** · 09-07-2008, 06:02 PM

Re: Calling In Question

I'm worried about what he'll say. The problem with him is that he's always yelling, always screaming, always swearing. By the time I was 8 or 9 I am pretty sure I knew just about every swear word there is. And my father's voice is deep so when he yells he REALLY is loud. I can cover my ears and still hear him. Clearly. And he calls all of us, us being my Mom, my brother, my sister and me, names like f***ing b****, a**, and stuff like that. I think he has anger management problems.

It would probably be harder on me since I'm usually the one that goes against him. Even when I was young I didn't truly listen when he tried to tell me how wrong my Mom was. I would defend her, and fight against him when I was like 8. Because after my parents fought, he would always come to me, and maybe my siblings and try to explain how it was my Mom's problem, and how she was using presciption drugs when she didn't need to, and how it was causing her to be like this. I just don't like him. No, I don't love him. I feel no affection or compassion for him whatsoever. He always expects me and my siblings to be so forgiving, but that can only go so far. If you picked up off the ground and pushed right back down by the same hand you learn not to trust the hand helping you up. I've know I had the first inklings of true knowledge that I didn't care for him around the time I was about 12 and a half, or about a year and a half ago. I'm appoarching my 14th birthday in a couple weeks.

Little background- My Mom is an accident magnet. Wheather running into a ditch or getting whiplash from hitting a deer, she has had problems with her back for awhile. And she is in true pain when she didn't take them back then. Couldn't get out of bed pain.

He get's angry about the stranest things, and he gets really freaky when he doesn't sleep. Like sleep deprevation is his drunk. He thinks he fine, when he slurrs his speak and doesn't remember things straight.

I am glad you don't tell anyone, even though that isn't what I was worried about. I could probably get to the mall and use a payphone there, but that isn't exactly the most private setting. I'm not normally at my friend's houses out of my own choice and wouldn't dare ask to use there cell phone, so that's a bit hard.

I could probably find out if he gets the numbers call, but I'd have to be sly about it. I'm glad I have a little more info on what the phone bill is like. So if I figure it out you just might get a call from me.

I know I don't have the worst life but it's nice to know someone cares even a little bit. ANd when I think about this site, it's kinda strange. I'm basically spilling my guts about things I would never dare or dream of telling anyone I know, but here I am telling a complete stranger about my woes. Guess that's what being anonymous does. You know it can't hurt you, that no one can tell on what you said so to speak. That your 'safe' to spill your guts. And it does feel better to let someone know. To know your not alone, that there are people that feel for you, and understand how, no what a tumulus bunch of emotions and thoughts your going through, even if don't let anyone know or show it.

**ccsmod7** · 09-07-2008, 07:52 PM

Re: Calling In Question

Thank you so much for writing in again and sharing a little bit more about your situation. You have a wonderful way of expressing yourself and sharing your feelings. You mentioned that things with your dad have not been going well for quite some time. That there’s a lot of yelling and name calling, and that’s never an easy thing to deal with. No one should ever put you down or make you feel bad about yourself, and we’re sorry that is something you are having to go through. You mentioned that you dad seems to get upset at just about everything and that he is constantly blaming others, including your mom. How does it make you feel when he starts going off like that? Do you ever notice things that trigger that behavior in him? Do you ever speak to him about how it makes you feel when he starts yelling like that? It’s understandable that you have ill feeling towards your dad considering everything that has been going on. Are there things that have helped you cope with this situation?

It’s wonderful that it has helped to open up in this forum and at least you have been able to vent a little about the situation, and we are definitely here to listen. Hopefully at some point you will be able to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY, and we can discuss you situation further and even come up with some possible options. We definitely do care and are here to help in any way we can. When you do call in, it is completely up to you what you want to talk about and how you want the call to go. Remember that we are here 24 hours a day, completely confidential, so you can give us a call anytime you get the chance to. In the mean time take care and we hope to hear from you soon.

**Guest** · 10-08-2008, 08:39 PM

Need help on issues with family

well i was looking at the website and stuff and i looked at peoples question and I'm happy on how that people reply them. Well anyway imm having problems at home. Like my dad always yells at me at curses a lot,my mom is so bossy yet so is my dad . They think that there always right ,and i never really get to tell them my problems at school like guys,school work, and friends without them freaking out. And they always want me to be perfect like having everything neat and perfect ,and me getting straight A's in school(it drives me crazy since there always nagging me about it).My mom used to hit me for everything i didn't want to do(like one time i didn't want to go some were cause of someone was there that i was mad at and i told her i don want to... so she tries to force to go and starts wipping me with the belt harder and harder so i get out of bed and start to run around the house were she's chasing me with it and i run out side to the back yard were i was so scared my heart was chasing) but after awhile i told I'm to old for that so she takes my stuff away for along time. I so fed up with all this crap cause every time i end up doing something wrong with her she ends up telling my dad which is worse since he is very loud and strict.PLus they always tell me i have an attitude and i better fix it or im going to be losing a lot of things.......i think my dad some anger issues that he needs to fix too!
Thank

**ccsmod5** · 10-11-2008, 09:43 AM

Re: Calling In Question

Hello,

Thanks for contacting us and also for reading the other bulletins. It's nice to hear people say that our responses are a bit helpful for everyone out there.

Sounds like a frustrating situation and very uncomfortable for you. The arguing and fighting is something a lot of teens your age might be going through. Do you know have any friends that have similar issues with their parents? Their experiences may not be nearly as stressful but what do you think those particular friends would advise you to do? How about adults? Are there any family members that you feel comfortable talking with about your home situation? They might be able to serve as some useful advocates if anything, an ear to hear you out. You deserve to be heard.

You also mentioned some physical stuff. Your mom hit you in one pf the stories you described. She should not be hitting you. Physical abuse is never called for so there are a few things you can do about it. Depending on what state you live in, there are places you can call within the social services division and report what's going on at home.

What else have you and your family done to make things a little more bearable at home? Any ideas of family counseling ever come up?

If you want to talk about this with a little more detail and time, please give us a call 24hrs a day at 1800RUNAWAY and we brainstorm together about ways you can go about making your situation better for you.

Best of luck,

NRS

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