how can i get away from my mom

[Guest]

hi, Im 13 almost 14. ive been having issues with my mother since my parents got divorced (almost 3 years), and to be a hundred percent honest, i would rather die than live with my mother and longer. she has never treated me like her daughter but just as another person who lives with her. i have one brother who has very similar feelings but has a better relationship with her than me. what i mean by better relationship is they team against me and shut me down as always. my brother who is 16 verbally and used to physically abuse me, punching me in the face, kicking me, throwing me against things, and will still call me names like slut, **********, ****, a waste of space, attention *****, etc. my mother on the hand, does not treat me like her daughter. she forces me to go on birth control, and does not care about my physical and mental health, if i feel depressed and need someone to talk to she will tell me either to shut up or she doesnt care, she has never been supportive of any of my decisions such as wanting counselling, being bisexual, wanting to transfer school etc. she has a boyfriend who verbally abuses me as well. whenever he's around and says something offensive or hurtful in anyway she will agree with him. my mother acts extremely bipolar, one morning she will want to make my brother and i breakfast and take us to school, after we get home she goes back to normal and screams at me. my father i see every other week end, but never normally cares about the problems with are mother and refuses to conversate with her. i want to say at my school and in town but i cant go through living with her anymore, i just can't deal with any of it anymore.

[ccsmod5]

Hi,
Thank you for writing in. It sounds like you’re going through an incredibly difficult time at home with your mom, her boyfriend, and your brother. It’s not okay that your family has been verbally and physically abusive toward you. You deserve to feel loved and respected at home, especially by your family. It sounds like you’ve tried your best to look out for your own mental health and well being by asking to do counseling or by trying to tell your mom how you’ve been feeling. It must feel really frustrating that she doesn’t seem to acknowledge or accept your decisions.
You mentioned that you “would rather die” than live with your mother. If you ever feel in immediate danger of hurting yourself, you can always call 9-1-1. Another option is to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Another resource that you might find helpful is the LGBT Youth Suicide Hotline: 1-866-488-7386. These hotlines can also be helpful if you’re going through depression and need someone to talk to. Your mental health is important and please know that you don’t have to go through this on your own. Your thoughts and needs matter.
You mentioned that there’s some abuse going on at home, as well. An option would be to report this abuse to the National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-786-2929. This hotline can help you make an abuse report and can also give you a clearer picture of what that process would be and what the outcome might be.
It sounds like you’re wanting to live away from your mom. You mentioned that you do see your father every other weekend—one possibility might be asking your mom to stay with him. Another option might be to ask your mom if you can stay with a friend or another family member. It might be helpful to have another adult call your mom and invite you over to stay for a weekend or longer. We’re not legal experts, but generally speaking it’s okay to live elsewhere as long as you get parental consent. If you’re unable to get parental consent, your mom would have the right to file a runaway report; if the police are able to find you, they will return you home.
It sounds like there’s a lot of stuff going on at home that causes you pain. Please know that you don’t have to do this on your own. You might consider talking to your school guidance counselor, friends, or other people you trust about how you’ve been feeling. It might be helpful to participate in extracurricular activities that make you feel fulfilled, like theater, art, or sports. Sometimes it can be helpful to read or write to distract yourself from what’s going on and to develop a world for yourself outside of home.
You sound like an incredibly strong, thoughtful, and mature young person. You deserve to feel heard, loved, and cared for. Please know that you matter, that you are important and deserving of love and kindness, even if it doesn’t come from your family. If you ever need to talk, please feel free to call us 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929. Best of luck to you and stay strong.

[Guest]

Hi, my name is jared, my mother and I have been having some big problems lately, we just left an abusive relationship with my step dad about 8 months ago and now all it seems like we do is argue, that's all we do, just today she threw accusations at me expecting me to say that they were true and when i started yelling back at her she chased me up the stairs and eventually proceeded to put her left hand on my neck wrapped around, my mother has never tried to hurt me before, but I'm really scared to throw point of running away now, someone please help!!!

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
Perhaps also having a calm conversation about what happened and seeing if there is counseling that she would be open to might help get you guys some communication about maybe some PTSD she might be experiencing. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS