My Girlfriends Mom is Crazy

[Guest]

So starting in November of 2016 I started dating my girlfriend and her mom had seemed very kind but something about her was off. People had warned me that she is very dramatic and likes to cause conflict but I didn't pay much attention to those who said that. June 16th of 2017, her mother had found out that she was in my room with me watching a movie (while my door was open and my mom checked up on us every 2 minutes) and she banned her from seeing me after I formed a 7 month bond with her family and she was close with mine as well. Her mother had slowly started to take her privileges away. After her mom banned her from me she still allowed her to FaceTime me or text me but month by month she took things away until it was to the point that if she found out that her daughter was talking to me she'd threaten me with restraining orders and charges. I have always treated my girlfriend like royalty, I'd pay on dates, defend her at any turn, surprise her with cute snacks and gifts to make her days better and showed more love than anyone can imagine. I did not do anything to deserve getting sent threats by her mother or her father who threatened to slash my tires if I were to show up near their house. I have no idea if the mother made lies about me to make the rest of her family hate me but she had blocked my number from everyone's phone in their household so I have no way of contacting any of them to question it. We have been secretly dating since June when all the drama first went down and had been through so much and a few days ago her mother found out we were still dating and she called me up while my girlfriend was in tears to threaten me with police and tell me that she is transferring her daughter schools so I will never get to see her again. My girlfriends mother calls her an embarrassment, takes her up to the detention center whenever she wants to date me because her mom views it as disobeying and being a delinquent. I have done nothing but shown respect but her mother has all of the sudden hated me for no reason and threatened me multiple times and I have no idea why. Everyday my girlfriend gets trashtalked to her face by her family and threatened and had even been told that life would be easier without her around. She is in such a suicidal depressed state and I cannot help her because her mother told me if I try to contact her she will call the police on me. (I'm 18 she's 16). If anyone were to view this situation they would not believe it because I had done nothing wrong and all of this happened to me. I'm scared for my girlfriend and myself. Her mothers emotional abuse on her is taking a toll on her life. Her mother is an unemployed stay at home mom and once her daughter leaves her one job in life is gone and I think she will do anything to prevent her daughter from growing up to prevent that from happening. My girlfriend is not allowed to get a job, license or be with me. Her mother does not even allow her to go outside unless they go to the store as a family. My family has been supportive by buying her school dance ticket and corsage, hanging up pictures of her in our house, letting her know that they love her and when she turns 18 she's welcome to come live with us. It's disgusting the way her mom treats her and her father doesn't wanna argue with the mom so instead of defending his daughter he goes along with it. My poor girlfriend gets emotionally abused, threatened and controlled and was thrown deep into depression and the number one person who can help her which is me was threatened with the police if I tried contacting her. Please tell me if there's any way her mother can legally get in trouble or if there's any way she can move in somewhere else legally. -thank you

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you've been in a really tough situation for quite some time and are very concerned for your girlfriend. You can let her know that she can always give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if she ever needs support or resources. You can also let her know that if she is ever feeling depressed or suicidal she can reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. She is not alone and she deserves to have people listen and support her.

We are not legal experts, but she would be able to look up legal aid in her area or contact Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 or at childhelp.org to possibly get some answers. Child Help could help talk her through child abuse reporting or other legal rights she may have within her situation. She could also reach out to us and we could look up legal aid for her.

It can be really hard for you both to be going through what you are, so don't hesitate to reach out to us so we can connect you with the resources that you need.

Good luck,

NRS

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Guest;n43101]So starting in November of 2016 I started dating my girlfriend and her mom had seemed very kind but something about her was off. People had warned me that she is very dramatic and likes to cause conflict but I didn't pay much attention to those who said that. June 16th of 2017, her mother had found out that she was in my room with me watching a movie (while my door was open and my mom checked up on us every 2 minutes) and she banned her from seeing me after I formed a 7 month bond with her family and she was close with mine as well. Her mother had slowly started to take her privileges away. After her mom banned her from me she still allowed her to FaceTime me or text me but month by month she took things away until it was to the point that if she found out that her daughter was talking to me she'd threaten me with restraining orders and charges. I have always treated my girlfriend like royalty, I'd pay on dates, defend her at any turn, surprise her with cute snacks and gifts to make her days better and showed more love than anyone can imagine. I did not do anything to deserve getting sent threats by her mother or her father who threatened to slash my tires if I were to show up near their house. I have no idea if the mother made lies about me to make the rest of her family hate me but she had blocked my number from everyone's phone in their household so I have no way of contacting any of them to question it. We have been secretly dating since June when all the drama first went down and had been through so much and a few days ago her mother found out we were still dating and she called me up while my girlfriend was in tears to threaten me with police and tell me that she is transferring her daughter schools so I will never get to see her again. My girlfriends mother calls her an embarrassment, takes her up to the detention center whenever she wants to date me because her mom views it as disobeying and being a delinquent. I have done nothing but shown respect but her mother has all of the sudden hated me for no reason and threatened me multiple times and I have no idea why. Everyday my girlfriend gets trashtalked to her face by her family and threatened and had even been told that life would be easier without her around. She is in such a suicidal depressed state and I cannot help her because her mother told me if I try to contact her she will call the police on me. (I'm 18 she's 16). If anyone were to view this situation they would not believe it because I had done nothing wrong and all of this happened to me. I'm scared for my girlfriend and myself. Her mothers emotional abuse on her is taking a toll on her life. Her mother is an unemployed stay at home mom and once her daughter leaves her one job in life is gone and I think she will do anything to prevent her daughter from growing up to prevent that from happening. My girlfriend is not allowed to get a job, license or be with me. Her mother does not even allow her to go outside unless they go to the store as a family. My family has been supportive by buying her school dance ticket and corsage, hanging up pictures of her in our house, letting her know that they love her and when she turns 18 she's welcome to come live with us. It's disgusting the way her mom treats her and her father doesn't wanna argue with the mom so instead of defending his daughter he goes along with it. My poor girlfriend gets emotionally abused, threatened and controlled and was thrown deep into depression and the number one person who can help her which is me was threatened with the police if I tried contacting her. Please tell me if there's any way her mother can legally get in trouble or if there's any way she can move in somewhere else legally. -thank you

Sounds alot like my life, n im not even American. Im Jamaican but the truth is it hurts so much n im jus 16 (she's 14) and we also started talking November 2016 and still going but her mom's not giving any time soon. Sigh. Rlly d only reason I even got to read this is because I dreamt that me and her mom (her name is sana) had an argument but she stood up for me (talking my girlfriend (sudeena) ). Well jus hope for d best between u n her n know that it's hard but your not d only person feeling this heartache and pain.

[ccsmod7]

Thank you for your response to another user’s post. Often forums are a place of support and understanding for many youth. It often may be validating and helpful for users to read similar situations as well as exchange feedback to one another. For anyone experiencing any difficulties or challenges, the National Runaway Safeline encourages youth to reach out to our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat for immediate services in the U.S.. Please call us if you are ever in the U.S. and need help. Since you are currently outside the U.S. you might try to contact your local hotline for local assistance: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

Thank you,

NRS

[Guest]

I have been dating my girlfriend for about 5 months now and it's been a month since I talked to her. Her mom took her phone but not before she said "find a new "babe", she will be lucky if she gets another phone under this roof". We have promise rings so I have been wearing mine all this time. It's killing me not being able to talk to her. I'll stare at the wall hours on end trying to fight back tears. Is she ever going to able to talk to me again

[ccsmod5]

Hi,

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It can be difficult to seek help when you are in a situation like this, so you have shown considerable bravery and maturity already. It sounds like you are going through a lot of intense emotions, and you are concerned about whether you will get to see or talk to your girlfriend again. It must be hard to have to deal with these restrictions on your relationship, and it is only natural you would have this concern.
Firstly, it is important that you know that you are not alone: If there are not family members or friends in your life that you feel like you can open up to about this, there are always anonymous help lines. Ours might be a good option for you. We are around 24/7 and are fully confidential; we are here to listen, here to help. Our number is 1-800-RUN-AWAY. You may also reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. They are also available 24/7 to talk about your feelings, and help you find hope in your circumstances. Your concerns about whether or not you will get to talk to your girlfriend are totally valid—parental rules can easily cause fear and distress, especially when they intervene in a relationship like this. Talking to your own parents or legal guardians may help, as perhaps they can lend advice or even reach out to your girlfriend’s parents and negotiate an arrangement. It sounds like you care deeply for her, and it is hurting you not to have her around. These feelings are strong and valid and will not just go away because you two are separated, so perhaps in time the rules will be changed when it is proven that the feelings are the same.
Again, you have taken a brave step by reaching out. This kind of effort to find help is hugely important as you move through this journey. Remember: You are not alone. There is always someone that can listen and provide support. If you find yourself continuing to have a hard time, please reach out to us. We would love to help.

Sincerely,
National Runaway Safeline.

[Guest]

I am in the same situation, I’m 16 and my gf is 14. We have been together for about 3 months now and her mom reads all our text everyday(which is fine) but now she is taking her phone more and not letting her talk to me as much. What should I do? She’s the first person I’ve fallen in love with and we have a true connection. I mean she’s perfect and her mom is trying to ruin us it feels like. My mom met the girl and she loved her but when I tried to meet her mom she said that she didn’t even want to meet me at all. I’m just really frustrated right now. Thanks to anyone who can help .

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for contacting us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand you're going through a frustrating situation and we're glad you reached out to us. Your girlfriend sounds like she means a lot to you and you genuinely love and care about her. It must be difficult to feel like her mom doesn't accept your relationship or doesn't want to get to know you. Your girlfriend may just need more time to talk with her mom and allow her to become more familiar with your relationship. You may have to just be patient and have faith that you guys can make it work together regardless of her family.

If you would like to talk more in detail or if your girlfriend wants to talk about her situation at home, please feel free to call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe and take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Thank you for the advice and I’m willing to wait as long as it takes. She says she is too. It just like her mom sometimes doesn’t seem to care if we are a thing but then other times she goes off and doesn’t even want us to talk. It’s honestly just more aggravating and confusing then anything. But as long as she lets us talk I guess it’s as good as I can be. I mean I didn’t sleep at all last night because I was worried about her. Her mom came in while we were on ft and she took her phone and screamed at her and called her useless in front of me and that really really upset me. Thank you, I hope to hear from someone soon.

[ccsmod5]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us! It can be upsetting to see someone you care about being talked to in that way, but it’s great to know she has someone who supports her and is there for her when she may need. Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We’re here to listen and to help and hope you or your girlfriend can reach out soon.

Take care,
NRS