Tired

[Guest]

I’m 15, I should be 16 in March. I can’t legally move out until I’m 17. I’ve been thinking about this for months and I’ve decided I’m going to kill myself unless I can find a way to move out. I know it’s only a year and three months, but that’s another year and three months I have to live at home. My life has been up and down for years now. I’ve been depressed and have terrible anxiety and panic attacks, but my family ignores it and makes fun of me. I’ve asked to see a therapist and they ignored me. My mom and dad both beat my brother (12 and autistic), and my dad has threatened to beat me before. My dad makes my life hell. He’s a manipulative bastard who won’t take no for an answer or listen to anyone elses opinion. He has to be in charge of everything, nobody can make their own decisions not even my mom. I’m trapped in my room all day everyday, leaving to use the bathroom or get food is impossible without some sort of confrontation. I’m not allowed to have friends over or go out with them. Today he told me I’d never see my boyfriend again and I should go cry about it. My boyfriend is very caring and supportive, he wants me to be safe and his parents have offered to let me live with them but I feel like it’s impossible. I feel trapped. I feel like I’ll never be able to get my dad out of my life. I feel like I’ll never be happy.

[ccsmod11]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out. Your home life sounds really challenging and stressful, which is regrettable; however, we hope that we can help you out.

It’s unfortunate that you say that you never think that you’ll be happy and that you’re trapped. These are really difficult feelings to have, and they are valid. You claim you will kill yourself unless you move out. We take your claim seriously, and we’re glad you came forward. We know that coming forward about suicidal thoughts is very difficult, but we appreciate that you did. Talking to others about these thoughts prevents these thoughts from becoming a burden. Talking to others also allows you to realize that you are not alone, and that others are willing to support you. We encourage you to reach out to trusted friends, your boyfriend, and others if you think they can provide support. You can call us 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929 if you would like to speak about these thoughts and other experiences that you’ve had. We are confidential and anonymous, so you may feel braver discussing these topics with us than with other people. You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 24/7 for similar services. We urge you to call 911 if you ever feel that you are an immediate threat to yourself.

You also should not have to witness your parents beating your brother. That must be super difficult to be around, and must be scary. You also do not deserve to be threatened with violence by your parents, regardless of any actions you have taken. Abuse is never okay, and it is never your fault. What your parents are doing to you is not something you deserve. You also can call us if you feel like you need to discuss violent situations that have happened in your home. You can also contact us to file an abuse report against your parents if this is something you ever become interested in doing. You may also call the national child abuse hotline, ChildHelp, for similar services at 1-800-422-4453.

We aren’t legal experts, but we can give you some general information about leaving home as a minor. If you leave without your parents’ permission, your parents can file a runaway report on your behalf. This report is filed with police, and lets the police know you have left home without your parents’ permission. If the police find you, they can order you to return home. In most of the U.S., running away is not a criminal offense, but a status offense, making it unlikely you would be arrested or detained for doing so. Anyone who houses you may be held criminally responsible for housing you. If you run away, you might want to think about where you would find food, shelter, and other needs. You can discuss your plan-of-action for running away with us if you call in.

Hopefully this message was helpful. Call us if you need further assistance, and we wish you the best of luck.

-NRS