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I'm thinking about running away from my parents

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    ccsmod15
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It sounds like you’re scared of your Dad sometimes and are thinking about running away. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You deserve to feel safe in your home at all times.

    If you ever feel physically unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to Child Protective Services (CPS). Child Help USA (www.childhelp.org) can tell you more about this and help you with filing a report if you want to. You contact reach them by chat online or by phone at 1-800-422-4453.

    In most states, if you are under 18 and leave home without permission from your parent or guardian, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police.

    (We are not legal experts and can only speak in general terms about this.) Typically, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. There may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway. But, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation.

    Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, any adult who allows you to stay with them could possibly be charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police’s non-emergency number and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

    We here at NRS are available 24/7 to talk more with you about what’s going on and help connect you to resources that you think might help. You can reach us via chat on our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) or by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY anytime.

    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Be safe,
    NRS
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    im 13 and im thinking of making my friend come and get me out of my house because my dad is being very scary and weird right now cause he is very high what should i do

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod7
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out to NRS. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help and we are here to support you.

    It sounds like you are facing a tough time at home with your dad. No one deserves to be hit or insulted like that. It seems like everything he is doing is really affecting you and your family. We recommend that you explore Child Help USA at www.childhelp.org/ or by calling 1-800-422-4453. They are a great source of information and can help you to explore your situation. If you are being abused, you have the right to file a report with Child Protective Services. This is a decision that Child Help Organization can provide information about the process and what to expect. You mentioned that you, your mom, and your siblings have thought about leaving your home in the past. There are resources for families who are experiencing violence in the home. One resource is the Battered Women’s Justice Project who can be reached through their hotline at 1800-903-011 or WomensLaw.org which provides legal information and resources. These organizations may be able to provide you and your family with more information and support.

    It sounds like you are considering leaving home yourself, but are wondering about some of the possible outcomes. We are not legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if you are under the legal age of majority in your state and leave home without permission, you are considered a runaway. In general, the police do not actively search for runaways. However, if you are listed as a runaway and come into contact with the police, chances are they will contact your parents/guardians to make arrangements for your return home. We are here to support you and if you are considering leaving home, we can support you in making a plan and taking steps to help you stay safe. We are available 24/7 and can be reached by dialing 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or by chatting with us through our website. We hope this information has helped and we wish you all the best.

    Best Wishes,
    NRS
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Im done with life in this home. me and my sisters have been hurt both physically and mentaly more than anyone ever should. My dad is the worst person ever. He calls himself christian but he hits us and insults us. When we do something wrong he takes a wooden stick and hits us with it, and justifys it with the bible. and its takes everything i have to be strong, because my sisters need be to be strong. but im done. im done getting beat, im done seeing my sweet mom get insulted and abused by a horrible man. im done seeing my sisters suffer. i cant take it anymore. i cant go anywhere. i cant talk to friends. im scared every day of what my dad will do when he comes home. im scared of what he will do if i leave the house. i dont know where to go if i do leave and i dont where id live. i have a job since i am 16, but i dont make nearly enough to make it on my own. my mom and the rest of us have thought about leaving together, but we cant take care of a family of 5. my mom is undocumented, and even if she wasnt, she has 4 kids to take care of. and there is no plan in sight. so i want to leave on my own, but dont know where to go or my dad can make me come back. if i refuse, can my dad still make me? please help

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod13
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for taking the time to write us here at NRS. It sounds like you are faced with a lot at home. You mentioned that interactions with your adoptive mom and sister have been very difficult and stressful for you. Not feeling heard or cared for at home is definitely hard and it's understandable you would want to go somewhere you feel more supported.

    You mentioned wanting to know more about runaway laws. 18 is usually the age you are able to leave home. If you leave without permission as a minor, your mom can report you as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means the police can return you home if you are found. If you choose to leave home, police may not actively search for you, but they will follow up on any information your mom provides them. This means they might look for you anywhere your mom suggests you might be or contact people who you could be staying with.

    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Maybe there is a family member, counselor at school or other trusted adult you could go to for support and help dealing with the stress you are experiencing at home. We are also always available to listen and help as much as possible if you reach out to our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY or through the live chat at 1800runaway.org.

    Be safe,
    NRS
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi, I am 15 years old, I went through a lot of stress when I was younger, I was neglected by my birth mom, and I was with her for 6 years and she hardly ever took care of me. So, after that, I went to foster care for like a year. and stuff wasn't good either. Then, this mom adopted me and things go so bad with her, and then my sister, they both cause me daily stress, and my sister is really annoying like I can't put up with her anymore and it makes me just want to leave the house. Then back to my current mom. she doesn't really listen to me when I talk to her, and she causes me a lot of stress, too and it gets annoying how most of the time she barely lets me talk and explain. So if I thought about running away, but I know where I can go, I have a friend, and his mom I don't think minds if I stay there so if I run to there will I get in trouble or will the police find out and if they do how will they know or find me?

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod5
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for sharing your experience and reaching out. We understand it can be difficult to take that step especially if you had reached out to hotlines before and not received much help. A few things you mentioned are concerning to us for your well-being. You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your parents. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.
    The NAMI Helpline (National Association on Mental Illness) 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services. Counseling and therapy can be expensive and even difficult to get to, if you need someone to talk to about how you’ve been feeling or anything at all you could reach out to us or NAMI.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe and stay strong,
    NRS
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    i’m kinda in the same situation as you. i’m currently 16, turning 17 in a few months, and i can’t stand living in my house anymore. my dad was an alcoholic when i was younger and would emotionally, verbally, and physically abuse me, my brother, and my mom. he’s cheated on my mom multiple times, is never home, and is very controlling. i’m not allowed to talk to anyone on the phone without him assuming it’s a boy and getting mad. he doesn’t let me out either so i’ve become unsocial and also have severe anxiety. i also had an eating disorder for 2-3 years because of my dad. ever since i was a little girl, he would make remarks about my weight, calling me a pig, and asking how i could eat so much. because he said it so often, i became paranoid and started starving myself. by this time, my mom and dad had my two other younger brothers. they spoiled them so much and since i was the age of 9, i was the one taking care of them. my dad isn’t home much and my mom works so she can pay the bills and i’m the only option to take care of the kids. i didn’t realize being in elementary and taking care of literal babies was weird until i grew up but it’s been stressful and a big weight on my shoulders ever since. they’ve become brats because of the way my parents raised them and don’t listen to me. and i love my mom but she doesn’t stick up for me when my dad does something and doesn’t care much about my mental illnesses, she just thinks i’m “crazy”. my dad doesn’t even believe in anxiety being a thing so he doesn’t even know i was diagnosed with such a thing. i just feel like no one in my house supports me, i’ve been depressed and anxious in this house which is supposed to be a home but feels more like a prison. i’m not sure if i want to runaway since i know the laws in my state but i’ve already tried talking to counselors/hotlines about such things and don’t get much help. i’m kinda just ranting here since i have no one else to go to and don’t know what to do at this point. sorry for all of this and for any typos haha.

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod15
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out to us. It definitely sounds like you are going through a lot. We're sorry things are not working out well with your mom. It must be frustrating that she's so controlling and doesn't seem to trust you or validate you. You certainly cannot be perfect, since that is impossible for anyone.

    It sounds like you would really like to leave home but are concerned about your baby brother. Just so you know, in most states the age of majority is 18, which means you are then considered a legal adult and can leave home without permission from a parent.

    Although you are faced with a difficult situation you don't have to face it alone. We are here for you and if you give us a call or chat with us we might be in a better position to help you out in whatever way we can. You can call our confidential, 24 hour hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us via the chat feature at the top of our website: www.1800runaway.org. When you call we can help you figure out what your best options are and try to answer any questions you may have. We hope to hear from you soon!

    Be safe,
    NRS
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I wanna run away. I cant be here my mom goes through all of my stuff and i feel like i constantly have to be little miss perfect for her even when im not making mistakes i feel like i have to watch my back and make another fight doesn't occur in the house especially around my brother. I feel trapped. We just got into a fight last night because she found a vape in my room that i told my friend id hold for her ive only used it once but she doesn't believe me. She always assumes the worst. She ended up going through my room, my phone, and my car looking for any other mistakes i might have made and wouldn't even let me talk to her and told me to go away. I've always wanted my mothers approval but even with grades i can barely seem to get it. Last time we had a fight similar to this she tried to put me in a mental institution and im scared she is going to do it this time too. She can be completely bipolar with everything. I know i suck at getting my thoughts together on a post and i am sincerely sorry if it leaves holes but i cannot do the back and forth with her. My boyfriend is worried out of his mind right now because i texted him what was going on and told him to not text me back for a couple days because i didn't want him to get in trouble. I have apologized numerous times to her for even having it and i dont know what to do. Ive been thinking about running away for years but every time I wanna walk out the door i dont wanna leave my brother. I dont wanna leave him but i dont know if i can put up with her any longer. Shes controlling and manipulative and back and forth. One day she is fine and can be nice and the next she is irritable and rude and mocking and judgmental. I dont think she realizes it. I love her and i know she would do anything for me but I need her to realize that some choices are mine and she cannot control everything i do or live through me. I probably sound like a horrible daughter for saying that but i cant keep doing this with her but again i cant leave my baby brother. I am 17 fixing to be 18 in a week and a half and my brother is 9. Its not like i can go to my dads he hasnt been around since i was 10. My mom scares me sometimes if she found this shed make my life a living hell. Anytime i try to talk to her about it she always says fine ill be the bad guy or i guess im a bad mother or dont compare me to your father or im the one that stayed. Im just exhausted and i know its draining me. Ive never had bad grades or even struggled in school until the last couple years and thats partially because of my moms and step dads divorce but this years are worse than when that was going on and i know its because i dont feel comfortable in the environment im living in i always feel on edge.

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod1
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. It sounds like you are currently located in Australia, you may want to check out Kids Helpline by going to https://kidshelpline.com.au/teens as they may be better suited to help you.

    We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

    Be safe,
    NRS
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hello,

    I’m a newly turned fourteen year old living in a hellhouse, considering running away again. When I was five, my Mum and Dad broke up as they just weren’t feeling the love in their relationship. After that day, Dad got all his stuff together and left, leaving my mother and I in heartache. As this was a time of grief, Mum turned her sadness into revolting anger and lashed out at me, causing a large scar across my right shin.
    One time, when I was around ten, I was on my iPad -I wasn’t, and still not allowed, to have a phone- playing around, I accidentally smashed into a large wooden cabinet and sliced open my side on a glass-cased candle that had shattered on impact. Mum, not caring about my wound, yelled and slapped me for breaking the glass. She proceeded to make me clean it up, cutting my hands when lifing the small shards of glass.
    Another time was when we went down to Exmouth, Australia, to camp for a few nights, by this time she had found a new English boyfriend. They constantly watched movies at full volume while I was trying to sleep. We had this large blow-up campertrailer and the rooms were all open to eachother, so they usually hang up this random white sheet to watch films on, not allowing me to go to the toilet or get something to drink/eat.
    My Dad is never really help in these situations as I barely see him twice a month, not to mention I don’t tell him anything as I’m afraid he will hurt Mum.
    I have two older brothers and an older half-sister that I love dearly, yet only one of these siblings, one of the brothers, live with us. He often fights with Mum, always bringing me into it in whatever way possible.
    Most of the time, he shifts the blame from himself onto me, leading to more serious consequences and punishments.
    Keep in mind my brother is 25.
    I have run away previously, it leading to a beating upon returning. I went to my friends house and he offered to give me some food on my journey. At the time, we lived in a very rural area, the woods about two kilometres away from our house. Luckily I had meorized the entire town, so that night I spent my time in the woods. I stayed at the edge of the forest, occasionally looking for herbs, as I am an aspiring witch. I had started a small fire, which we learned at an incursion. I have also memorized many herbs and have multiple bottles in my room filled with all different, medical herbs.
    I decided to return home after about twelve hours in the woods, which led to a lecture, beating, my iPad and bottles, containing my herbs, thrown at me.
    I suffer from severe bipolar disorder, ADHD, slight tourettes, depression and social anxienty. Whenever I bring up the subjects of my mental illnesses, my mother hrushes them off as a lie and yells at me. I have spoke to her once about her yelling and harming me and she responded with ‘I have never yelled or hit you’ whilst yelling.
    Since then, we have moved into a very packed area, I have new friends, multiple willing to take me in. I used to always say to myself, ‘Wait until you’re eighteen, you won’t get chased down, then.’ But I am unsure as to whether I will make it to eighteen or not.

    Please, I need advice.

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod1
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

    We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if you do opt to leave your home your mom can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned home.

    You mentioned some things about your mom hitting you and it raises concern for your safety. If you are currently at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    Stay safe,
    NRS

    We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I'm 15 and my mom used to hit me for lying or bad grades and she hit me today because i wasn't getting out of bed I don't know what to do and I've thought about running away to live with a friend can I legally do this without her bringing me home

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod15
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It certainly sounds like you are going through a very tough situation at home. You are doing a really great job with your school work and grades so be proud of that! And, you realize the situation you are in isn't a good one so reaching out shows that you want to make it better. It’s unfortunate that you mom is taking things out on you and regardless as to how tough things are, hitting is not going to solve things. Even though you're almost 13, you sound as if you are mature enough to approach your mom and see if you can get a conversation going about what you can do to make things more peaceful at home. Maybe talking to her and each of you sharing your feelings and frustrations will help both of you understand what is expected of you. A service we have available here is to set up a Conference Call between you, your mom and one of our supervisors to try to open up more open communications between you two. If you would like to do that, you can call into our
    1-800-Runaway phones and we can assist you setting the call up.

    Here at NRS our real concern is your safety. While running away may seem like a quick solution there are a lot of things to consider like where to go, how to make money, staying safe, and staying out of trouble. If you are looking for a safe place to go we can look at some of our resources that provide services to youth that are at-risk. Again, you can call the number above to
    for assistance in perhaps finding a place near where you live.

    Keep your chin up in your difficult situation and try to keep at your school work. You have a lot of great dreams to aim at and find success in! Please stay in touch with us. Good Luck!
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