Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I'm thinking about running away from my parents

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thank you for reaching out; we are glad that you did. It sounds like you have survived years of emotional and verbal abuse from you dad, and that your mom isn't able to give you any emotional support either. It sounds like your dad also physically abused your siblings. We are so sorry that you are being treated this way. You don't deserve it at all. He treats you this way because of who he is, NOT because of who you are. He has some pain or anger or something inside that prevents him from being any other way than to hurt others as a way to either deflect his own pain or anger away from himself, or as a way to feel better about himself. Whatever the case, he treats you this way because of himself, not because of you.
    As far as how he is treating you for being part of the LGBTQ community, his remarks show again that your personal self is only about him. You don't deserve that either. Your mom may be afraid of him and is passive to protect herself.
    What you do have, what you have earned by being your excellent, warm, intelligent, brave self, is the support of teachers and friends who see you and respect you as you really are.
    You have been so brave and so strong to survive so much already and we hope you can feel proud of yourself for that, because you deserve to feel that way. We do our best work with people when we can have a conversation with them. We want to listen and help you discover what your options may be. We hope that you will either chat us through this website, or call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY).
    For now, you can reach out to www.thetrevorproject.org which is a mental health site for LGBTQ youth. They have a chat as well and are also available 24/7 like we are.
    We truly hope to hear from you soon.
    Sincerely,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied


    I’m 16 going on 17 in September.


    I’ve been having issues with my family for a while now, starting with both my dad and brother bullying me for my weight which lead to some suicidal thoughts at the age of 8. After that I never really healed from it and I stayed in that mental state for a long time. Thankfully it hasn’t reached any physical actions yet on both my parents side and mine.I’ve never been a bad kid or a bad student. I have straight A’s in higher level classes, all of my teachers and leaders love me, I was in multiple sports for a very long time, I'm an artist, basically I'm a very good kid. Yet when I bring home all this good news I get “and?” as a response. It’s never enough, I'm never enough. I asked my dad if I ever would be and he straight up told me “no you will never be enough and you need to get rid of that weak mindset.” At the time I was doing dishes and my parents were sitting on the couch and tears started to form and all my mom did was sit there. I proceeded to break down about it for the next few weeks and had to get comfort from teachers and friends who were more like family to me than my own parents. My family considers me my dad's soft spot because I never got the physical punishments like my brother. Instead I got the constant degrading, emotional, mental, and verbal abuse. As I mentioned earlier, I'm an artist, I've always had a love for it but I didn't get good at it until I started realizing I was being hurt by my own family.


    In 2020 my parents found out about me being a part of the LGBTQIA+ and my relationship as well. They decided to ground me for it and expressed that they expected my relationship to fail because I was not allowed to see her outside of school. Fortunately for me we haven't and they continue to prevent me from seeing her. This has included threats of military school, moving, and or a restraining order against my girlfriend as well as other methods. When they first found out my dad made remarks such as “It’d be easier if you were pregnant” “This is very selfish of you” and even when we were having heart to heart conversations he would explain to me that the main reason he would not accept me was because it meant he would not get grandkids from me. Mind you I have an older brother soon to be 21 which logically will be the only one to pass on the last name that is so important to them.


    At my age my mom went through similar issues with her mom except instead of homophobia stopping her relationship it was racism considering my dad is black and my mom is white. I brought this up to my dad because I was confused as to how their relationship could go through that and decide to put their own daughter through it as well. My dad would claim that he didn't understand why my mom made the choice to continue to be with him even when her mom forbade it. From this conversation with him I learned that no matter the pain that he could see he was causing me, I would gain no sympathy from him.


    It’s gotten to a point where I don't even want to be home anymore. I make plans as much as possible to avoid being with them. I sometimes feel bad about it because if you were to take away the homophobia and “abuse” then I would have a great family. We don't see eye to eye on religion or sexuality or politics but you don’t have to do that to be able to have a healthy or stable relationship. But then I remember the nights where I cry so hard I can't breathe and I go to school the next day running on 2 hours of sleep.


    Recently things have been getting worse as they’ve realized that I have no intention of going to college after I finish highschool. Meaning constant reminders of my soon to be failure of a life and my worthlessness. I do have plans after highschool that I am extremely excited for but have little to no support from my parents. The most recent major conflict ended with multiple threats including taking away my phone in which I paid for, taking away my car in which i also paid for( my dad claims that there is no legal proof that I paid/pay for it so he can do so), taking away my money in which im hoping goes towards me moving out as soon as possible, and making me quit my job if I did not become submissive. With my current mental state I'm not sure how much longer I can be in such a toxic household. I know running away is considered a law violation and can result in law enforcement interaction. I have no family I could go to considering they would all turn me back to my parents. I dont know what to do anymore. I just want to be free from them.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,



    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options.



    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

    We are here as support to help through this challenging time.



    Running away, especially at such a young age, has a lot of risks. There are a lot of people out there that could try to trick you and lead you into unsafe situations. While the pressure at home may be a lot, there could be some better options for you to pursue before making such a drastic decision!



    Sometimes a lot of pressure can be put on you by your parents. It can be really hard - especially since they are already talking about college when you are 11 years old. Have you tried telling them that you don’t like playing and that they’re putting too much pressure on you? I know that it can be quite hard to voice your opinions to your parents but they may not realize how much pressure they are putting on you. I know thats happened to me! If talking to them is a bit too much to do on your own you can always call us here at National Runaway Safeline and we can set up a call between one of our workers, you, and your parents so you can freely express how you feel! We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.



    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.



    Be safe,

    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi there,
    I'm only 11 years old and I'm thinking about running away as well. I know this might sound like a bad reason to run away, but in real life it hurts so much more.
    my mom and dad both force me to do things I hate doing. Like play tennis even though I hate it. And they also tell me about how they want me to join the tennis team when i'm in collage to save them money. They don't even care about what I feel, it's only important that they are ok. And i can't even remember a week where i haven't cried at least once in a few years. They always tell me to express my feeling to them but when I do they always get mad and continue forcing me to do things I hate. And with grades I bring home a 3.5 which is almost perfect and they tell me to get a higher grade and try my best, even though they don't even ask if I did. I'm constantly stressed and they don't care. What should I do?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi. Thank you for reaching out to NRS, we know that it takes a lot of bravery to do that. At NRS, we are here for you, to talk through and come up with resources to help you in your situation. In regards to your mom, it is absolutely not acceptable the way she treats you and if you call or give us a chat, we can give you some resources such as reaching out to a family friend or counselor, letting them help you file an abuse report with your state, or shelters near you. Since we do not know the exact nature of the situation currently it can be hard to describe what the options would be like. However, we know that you only deserve love and support by your family and are here to support you during this time.

    In regards to running away, if you runaway your parent’s might file a runaway report with the police and if you are found you, in most cases, will return home. But, since we do not know the exact situation with your dad it might be a different situation, and we can help you come with the best plan of action for your situation. Also, there are a lot of factors to consider such, which we can help you think through if you call or chat us. We understand that only you understand your situation best and are here to support whatever decision you eventually make. However, we can find the nearest shelter and help you talk through some possible scenarios you might encounter if you runaway. You do not deserve anything your mom is putting you through.

    We want to emphasize that we are here for you at our call or chat line. You are welcome to chat us through this website, or call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY). We know that this must be difficult but we are here to ensure that you are safe and receive your basic necesites. Don’t be afraid to reach out for any questions you may have.
    Sincerely,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied


    Hello I'm 11 and my mom thinks I'm being fast when I tell her I'm not and I have a younger brother and she treats him better than me. I am one of the smartest people in my class and i try to be bigger and she don't appreciate it and she say that I'm a bad daughter and that she wish that she never had me she beats on me with hangers,belts, and sometimes a scrubber to make it hurt really bad.she say that she gone kill me and do other things to me and everything I tried to run away numerous times and she would say that she gonna beat me and break my arms and legs and she won't let me get in live with my my dad because she wants to move to georgia and I I don't feel safe with my mom and I try my best to make her happy but to me it just feel like she don't want it so if you just pls help me or make some Arrangements to where I can go with my father that would be great and I have multiple bruises by her

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best.
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hello I'm 11 and my mom thinks I'm being fast when I tell her I'm not and I have 3 younger brothers and she treats them better than me and my grades aren't the best but I try and she don't appreciate it and she say that I'm a bad daughter and that she wish that she never had me she beats on me and she say that she gone kill me and do other things to me and everything I tried to call the cops she would say that she gonna beat me in front of the cops and she won't let me get in contact with my dad I had to go behind her back and talk to him and he said that I can come with him cuz I don't feel safe with my mom and I try my best to make her happy but to me it just feel like she don't want it so if you just pls help me or make some Arrangements to where I can go with my father that would be great but at the moment I keep she use thing to where it would Suffocate me and to where I can't breathe and she pulls my hair she yells at me and I have multiple bruises by her and her mom pls just help me if you want my dad number to talk to him so he can come get me that would me great

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi Vari, we're so glad you wrote to us. It sounds like your mom hasn't created an environment at home where you feel emotionally safe 100% of the time, and it sounds like you've been enduring some verbal and physical abuse as well. You do not deserve that; regardless of what you do, you do not deserve to be hit.

    Since you mentioned ending yourself, first we want to give you the contact info for the National Suicide Lifeline. It sounds like you've thought about it a couple times, and if you think about it again, especially if it gets more frequent or serious, please reach out to them. Their phone number is (800) 273-8255 and website is www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

    It also sounds like you've been dealing with some mental illness that hasn't been getting the attention it needs. For that, you might want to contact NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Dealing with depression, anxiety, and ADHD can be difficult if it feels like you're doing it alone and aren't receiving treatment. Their phone number is 1-800-950-NAMI and website is www.nami.org.

    You mentioned wanting to run away to live with your grandma. That could be possible-- what do you think your parents might say if you asked if you could stay there for a little while? If you run there to stay without your parents' permission, they would technically have the legal authority to get you to come back. Though if you do decide to run away without telling them, it's helpful to have a well thought out plan first, including where you will go, and how you will survive (food, water, etc.).

    We are always here to talk if you want to discuss things further. Our phone number is 1-800-RUNAWAY and our website is 1800runaway.org if you want to live chat us.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi I’m Vari (nickname) and I’m 13 years old and I feel like running away from my parents house because I feel like they don’t love me in a type of way, My mother is very mind controlling and nice at times but every time if I do something wrong or show her something she turns it to a lecture. But that isn’t it. There’s so much I have to tell, when I was 8-10 years old I had a really weird addiction to watching adult stuff (gay pornography) but I was young and I didn’t know that much about how bad it was.. but I remember my mother took me to a bridge one day and she told me to jump off and kill myself because she thought I had adhd which I do have but my parents don’t know cause I don’t tell my parents about my mental state such as depression anxiety and that’s all. (But I have a step dad and a mom) plus this morning my mother hit me and gave me a bruise on my hand because she thought I was whipping my snot on the wall But it was actually paint when. The a worker painted my wall blue I always feel like running away to my grandmas house because I feel like I can talk to her all the time and I feel comfortable being with her more than my mom. But my mom and grandma don’t really have contact with each other because of my step dad but that’s a different story… I still feel like ending myself one day in a bathtub basically drowning myself I felt like doing it today but if my parents yell at me I will. I have a younger sister she’s 8 so i love her so much to leave her but I don’t know I tell some of my feelings to Uncle (he’s one year older than me) because he understands me. I don’t want to kill myself but I do. The reason why I don’t want to because I don’t want to leave those who love me.. I just don’t know school ends in 6 minutes for me I can’t take it no more. But my parents love me sometimes and my parents ask me why I don’t talk to them a lot because I’m afraid of being judge by my mom mostly my step dad is kinda nice my mom is nice but she judges me and she’s mind controlling. I hate it. But if you could reach out to this number 612-751-8050 that would mean so much to me or just reply here that’s alright but wish me luck! I’ll make it in life I hope.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We appreciate you reaching out and sharing what has been going on. It sounds like your father has been yelling at you. You do not deserve to be treated that way and we are here for you 24/7. It seems you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options.

    If you are feeling unsafe at all, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

    There are a lot of things to consider when running away and we are here to talk to you. We would need some more information to help you or provide resources. We would recommend calling us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or contact by Live Chat, we are here 24/7.

    Again, we are here as support to help through this challenging time. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    My father keeps yelling at me but not constantly so I don't know if he's just annoyed with me or he truly hates me

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It sounds like you’re scared of your Dad sometimes and are thinking about running away. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You deserve to feel safe in your home at all times.

    If you ever feel physically unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to Child Protective Services (CPS). Child Help USA (www.childhelp.org) can tell you more about this and help you with filing a report if you want to. You contact reach them by chat online or by phone at 1-800-422-4453.

    In most states, if you are under 18 and leave home without permission from your parent or guardian, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police.

    (We are not legal experts and can only speak in general terms about this.) Typically, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. There may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway. But, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation.

    Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, any adult who allows you to stay with them could possibly be charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police’s non-emergency number and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

    We here at NRS are available 24/7 to talk more with you about what’s going on and help connect you to resources that you think might help. You can reach us via chat on our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) or by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY anytime.

    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    im 13 and im thinking of making my friend come and get me out of my house because my dad is being very scary and weird right now cause he is very high what should i do

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out to NRS. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help and we are here to support you.

    It sounds like you are facing a tough time at home with your dad. No one deserves to be hit or insulted like that. It seems like everything he is doing is really affecting you and your family. We recommend that you explore Child Help USA at www.childhelp.org/ or by calling 1-800-422-4453. They are a great source of information and can help you to explore your situation. If you are being abused, you have the right to file a report with Child Protective Services. This is a decision that Child Help Organization can provide information about the process and what to expect. You mentioned that you, your mom, and your siblings have thought about leaving your home in the past. There are resources for families who are experiencing violence in the home. One resource is the Battered Women’s Justice Project who can be reached through their hotline at 1800-903-011 or WomensLaw.org which provides legal information and resources. These organizations may be able to provide you and your family with more information and support.

    It sounds like you are considering leaving home yourself, but are wondering about some of the possible outcomes. We are not legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if you are under the legal age of majority in your state and leave home without permission, you are considered a runaway. In general, the police do not actively search for runaways. However, if you are listed as a runaway and come into contact with the police, chances are they will contact your parents/guardians to make arrangements for your return home. We are here to support you and if you are considering leaving home, we can support you in making a plan and taking steps to help you stay safe. We are available 24/7 and can be reached by dialing 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or by chatting with us through our website. We hope this information has helped and we wish you all the best.

    Best Wishes,
    NRS
Previously entered content was automatically saved. Restore or Discard.
Auto-Saved
x
Insert: Thumbnail Small Medium Large Fullsize Remove  
x
or Allowed Filetypes: jpg, jpeg, png, gif
x
x
Working...
X