I'm thinking about running away from my parents

[Guest]

Hi my name is paolo. my parents are very abusive. and my dad gets mad at me for no reason one time I was just listen to music and sitting my dad walk and and sees me he said I was doing a girl dance. Every time I try to say what happened and when I proof them wrong they get even more mad I get threatened yelled at and much more it’s to much. I’m thinking of running away from my family for a awhile so they can see what happens when they keep treating us like that. one time I almost commit suicide. My family doesn’t get what I like what I want and my type of stuff they can’t let me be me they just boss me. Sometimes I think they made me so I can do stuff for them cause my dad is lazy he thinks I’m his maid or something or at least that’s what He would say. Now I’m just pacing my bags ready to go. Wish me luck

[ccsmod10]

Thank you for reaching out to us. Being home schooled isn’t easy and it can be difficult when you don’t get much of a break from conflict in the house. It’s important to know that you’re not alone. If you’ve ever thought of hurting yourself, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.

Either as a parent or a teacher, your mother shouldn’t belittle or degrade you. And it’s never OK for her to physically abuse you. It’s OK to take pictures of the bruises when they’re fresh and keep a log of what happens and when if you’d ever like to report the abuse. You can contact the National Child Abuse Hotline at 800-422-4453 or childhelp.org to learn more about child abuse and your rights. They work with teens in your situation often. Remember, you’re not alone.

Please also feel free to give us a call anytime, 24/7. We can help talk things through and come up with options you may not have thought of.
We’re here to listen and here to help. We wish you the very best and hope you give us call soon.
Thank you,

-NRS

[Guest]

Hi. I am twelve. My family was normal until about three years ago. It was my birthday and my parents were taking me too see my brother who is trans. He left the house when I was seven and I didn't hear from him for about three years. After that day we had been in contact with eachother. That Christmas he said that he wanted to move back in with us. I was overjoyed so i told my friends. After that they didn't want to hang out with me, but after a few days of crying I told myself I will just hang out with my brothers, but they didn't want to hang out with me either. The next year my mom transfered me to a new school and I was exited until three students started calling me fat and spreading rumors about me. I told my mom, but all she said was "Well, you are a bit chubby." After that I had thoughts about killing myself. After a couple weeks my mom started forcing me to get on the scale and run around the block. So I started throwing up. I finally told my brother and my mom and they got a therapist for me. The only thing was my mom was piggybacking on the sessions and neglectef to mention how I threw up, or how I wanted to kill myself. Now my mom and dad go to work all day. I make the meals in the house and I want to run away because my mom constantly nags me about how much I weigh. My dad neglects me and then makes fun of me then turns it into I was being sarcastic. I feel like everything I do is taken for granted and everything I do wrong is punished fot 10 hours. I want to get away from it. I just want to run away.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

You mentioned that you have previously had thoughts of suicide. We care a lot about your safety, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time.

We understand how hard it can be sometimes to fully love and accept your body. We want you to know that you are beautiful no matter what. We want to ensure that you are fully supported and reaching out to additional agencies may be able to help. You can always contact the National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA) by calling 1-800-931-2237 or by going to their website at nationaleatingdisorders.org

It sounds like your parents aren’t listening to you when you are trying to express your thoughts and feelings about your current situation. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your parents so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I am 17 years old, wishing that I could leave home. My mother is very verbally abusive and makes me feel like I’m lower than her and that I will never be good enough. She also will yell and bring past things up and try to say that she must be a failure of a parent for me being the way I am. I try to talk to her and ask her what I can do to fix things and be closer with her and I’m yelled at and told that she doesn’t want to talk to me. She demands me to get a job which I’m trying to do and when I can’t keep a job she blames me saying I’m “lazy”. She is aware of her own mental health issues that cause her to be unable to work (depression, and anxiety) and she knows that they are hereditary, as well as that I show many symptoms. She refuses to take me to a professional to see if I could be suffer from the same problems and to be treated for them. And when I leave a job for that reason. She yells and puts me down for it. And my step father leaves home for months at a time but when he’s home. He’s abusive and he yells and screams and beats me and my siblings, with a paddle, hard enough to leave bruises. My parents refuse to take me to the doctors to be put on birth control to help with my period cramps, even though every month I beg and beg. My mother sits back and enables him, she says that he provides for us so we should love him and not be so rude to him. They constantly say that ya speaking our opinions is disrespectful and that we should treat them way better. I’m threatened by my mother “I’m gonna knock your teeth out if you raise your voice to me one more time” and I can’t take it any longer. I just don’t know what steps to take to leave the home as quickly as I can. I’ve thought to move in with my grandmother but she is in a different state and I’m not sure how to work with that. I want to file for emancipation but I know that will take too long to be in effect. Please help.

[ccsmod15]

Hello there,

What you’re describing from your mother and stepfather is definitely emotional and physical abuse, and it is never okay. No matter what a child does, that does not give parents the right to abuse them. No one deserves to be put down, threatened, to have their health needs ignored, or to be physically harmed. One option you have is to report this abuse. This usually means that the child and family services agency in your state will open an investigation, and it might make your mother and stepfather more likely to change their behavior. Child Help is a 24/7 completely anonymous hotline like NRS that can answer any questions you might have about the reporting process, and also report abuse if you decide to do so. Their number is 1-800-422-4453. You can also report abuse at any time by talking to a teacher or nurse at school (they are required by law to report abuse) or calling the police.

When leaving home, the most important thing is to make a plan for your safety. That means thinking about finding safe shelter, a reliable source of food, and access to health care. If living with your grandmother will meet these needs and she is willing to take you in, you have a few options. One is to wait until you are 18, when you won’t need your parents’ permission to leave home. If you decide to leave before you’re 18 and your parents report you to the police as a runaway, that just gives the police the right to bring you home. There is also a risk that any adult you stay with (like your grandma) could be charged with “harboring a runaway”. We’re not legal experts, but we’ve found that sometimes police departments don’t follow up on runaway reports for 17 year-old because they’re so close to being legal adults. Another option could be to call the non-emergency number of your local police department and ask them how they’d follow up on a runaway report for a 17yo. A third option is a shelter. If you give NRS a call, we’re also happy to help you find youth shelters in your area (although they usually require parental permission or file an abuse report as part of their intake process).

The fact that you have had to deal with this abuse for so long, and are able to recognize that it’s wrong and ask for help shows a lot of strength. And doing your research and thinking through possible outcomes shows a lot of maturity. We are here for you 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929 if you’d like to talk more about your situation or think through possible options. Stay strong.

Thanks, NRS

[Guest]

Hello, I have always had strict parents but recently they have gotten worse. Although they have never laid a hand on me, they constantly yell at me. I can never argue back, and I feel helpless. Now they wont let me hangout with any of my friends except at school. I am thinking of running away and I am questioning if I should do so. I have thought it out and I am thinking of running to a friends house who lives nearby, the only problem is that my parents know where all my friends live. I dont know what to do, and im questioning if ive made the right decision.

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for reaching out. It sounds as if you are going through something very difficult right now and it is good that you are reaching out. No one should ever feel helpless.

You mentioned considering running away, we can provide you with some general information about running away, although we are not legal experts. Running away is typically considered a status offense if you are a minor. This would mean that you could be picked up by the police and taken back home. Your legal guardians could also file a runaway report to the police and there is a chance that anyone who harbors a runaway youth could be held criminally responsible. However, runaway laws can vary depending on where you live. You can always learn more about your local runaway laws by contacting the non-emergency police department number. You can find your local non-emergency line on this site: https://www.usacops.com/.

You can also reach out to us if you have any specific questions or if you would like to talk about what is going on at home, we are available 24/7 and are confidential. Our hotline number is 1-800-786-2929. Or you can chat with us by using our chatroom on our website's main page at www.1800runaway.org. We'd like to discuss what more of your options might be so you can make a decision that feels right to you.

Good luck!

NRS

[Guest]

Considering running away...

I am 14 and I feel like my parents may be losing their love for me? Like I just feel very out of place and think it would be better off if I just wasnt in the picture... if I did return home I'm very scared for what my mom would think of me I fear she might disown me or do something she will regret... is it normal for me to feel a bit nervous?

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

im 14 and am thinking about doing it but im not sure if i want to my parents hate me and i have no one my dad yells at whatever i do and iit makes me really scared. can someone help me pls

[ccsmod3]

Thank you for reaching out to us. It’s really a brave thing to talk about what you are feeling. It must be hard feeling like your parents hate you and it is scary to have someone yelling at you. It’s understandable that you would want to leave a situation like that and go to a more supportive environment. If you feel like you are in an unsafe environment you can call Child Help at 1800-422-4453. If you ever want to talk to someone about what you are experiencing at home you can contact NAMI by texting 741741. The main thing you want to consider when you are thinking about running away is getting to a safe environment and making sure you have a plan to get the necessities (i.e. water, food, shelter) you need in order to survive. Maybe you can speak with family or friends that you trust and ask them if it is possible to stay with them. Also you could speak with a guidance counselor about what is going on sometimes just talking about it can give you some relief. Please give us a call if you ever want to explore more options or talk further about what is going on at home. Thank you again for being brave enough to talk about your feelings. Best of luck with everything!

[Guest]

Hi. I'm 12 almost 13. I have had thoughts of running away before, but I could never bring myself to do it. Up until now my dad ignored me and my mom was overbearing. For example last year I was getting bullied and my mom said that I had to be "confident" and gave me a 1 hour lecture saying that I had to stand up for myself. I didn't even know how. Thankfully my mom is backing off now, but my dad is the problem now. I have close to perfect grades. I brought home a test and got a C- on it. He seemed really mad and I didn't know what to do. Now I messed up at church. We have a small youth group and the kids decided to gang up on me and my boyfriend. I was done being called names and I said by and the B-word. My boyfriend got mad at me and if my parents find out, i'll get in trouble. I just thought that everything might be solved if I just run away or kill myself. I don't want to though. Thank you for listening.

[ccsmod15]

It sounds like you feel like your parents won’t be sympathetic and supportive of you when you need them to be, and that it will be really upsetting if they come down on you about using the B-word, so you want to get away from that situation. And it sounds like they don’t hear you when you try to tell them about the bullying you are dealing with, so they might not acknowledge that you were also just trying to stick up for yourself. It totally makes sense that you’d feel overwhelmed. Everyone needs support and to have their side heard. Let’s try to break down what you’re dealing with into parts.

Firstly, the bullying. If you haven’t already, you could check out stopbullying.gov… They may have resources to help you deal with the difficult situations you are in.

Secondly, when it comes to getting the support you need from your parents, one thing you might consider is family counseling. We have a database of resources, and we could give you some numbers for some family counselors if you call us. That might help you guys work on communicating better, and give you a way to articulate what you need from your parents. We also have numbers for solo counselors. Maybe having a therapist you can talk to would help you get your perspective heard, too, or that person could help you develop tools to deal with these situations.

You could also try to find a way to talk this out with your parents. It’s possible that they don’t realize what you’re going through, or how they are affecting you. One way to approach this might be to write out things they do and how they affect you, and the kind of support you need from them. You could think out what you’d ideally need from them. By writing it out, it’d give you a chance to really think about it, and also make it clear to others.

Then you could think of a time when everyone is usually less stressed out, like maybe a weekend, for example. And then you guys could sit down and talk it out and try to come up with a plan together. Additionally, you could reach out to another adult, a relative, or family friend, or even an older sibling, who you trust, who might get your perspective. Maybe having that person there when you talk to your parents might help.

Finally, you did mention suicide too. We’re so sorry that you’re thoughts have turned to that, but that too can be something people express when they are feeling overwhelmed. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be a good number to call. Sometimes people hesitate if they don’t what they are dealing with “qualifies.” But it can be a number to call even if you’re just feeling sad or overwhelmed. Their number is: 1-800-273-8255.

We hope some of these ideas can help you. Thank you for reaching out.

[Guest]

My mom always yells at me whenever she sees me. We can never have a normal day.she always manipulates me and if I don’t do chores she takes all my ******** away. I got in a argument with her right now and she slapped me in the face HARD. I walked out of my room and went outside. The whole time when I was running from her she kept on saying get back here get back here . I didn’t listen and I kept running away. Her boyfriend was standing there confused

[ccsmod4]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. You don't deserve to be abused in any way. It is not your fault. It sounds like you may have run away from home because of what happened between you and your mother.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time.
Your safety is important. If there is a family member or friend you can contact for support, please do so. NRS is here to listen and here to help.
We can best help by phone or chat. We would be glad to assist you with exploring options or trying to locate a safe place and or emergency shelter. If you would like to talk more about your situation, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

hi I need help to escape from my family .my younger brother is abusive he makes life hard for me .he beats me .I fear him and my other brother too .my dad let's them do whatever they want with me .I'm living in fear everyday. I'm not happy with them .can you help me escape to another country?

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm 15 and I want to run away. I can't live with my mom anymore. She hates me. She makes me feel worthless, loney, ect. She's said that she wishes I was dead so she wouldn't have to live with my annoying self anymore. I use to self harm everyday to give me relief, but I've been clean for 5 months. But the fighting has gotton so mad, I coutine to do it. No one knows about this. My mom is screaming at me right now, and she makes me hate myself more than I already do.

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for taking the time to reach out to NRS and share a bit about your situation. It sounds like you are considering leaving home because of the way your mom treats you. Parents are supposed to make us feel safe and it can certainly be stressful when the adults in our lives are not supportive. It is not okay that your mom makes you feel worthless because you deserve to be treated in a way that makes you feel loved.

You sound like you have been trying your best to cope with your mom and the stress that she has been causing you. It takes a lot of strength to talk about these tough feelings and to acknowledge why you self-harm. You deserve to get the support that you need while you navigate this challenging time with your mom. There is a crisis-text line available 24/7 that allows you to speak with a counselor. You do not have to deal with this alone. Having this safe space to talk about how you feel whenever you want to self-harm might help you brainstorm other coping strategies and come up with a safety plan.

You can reach out to us 24/7 by phone or use our live chat services if you would like to talk more about your situation. We are here to listen and help you. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or chat with us at www.1800runaway.org.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

hi im 13 ( well 12 but my birthday is in a month ) anyways I’ve been sad a lot lately but haven’t been showing it. on thanksgiving i forgot to call my dad and I PROMISE it wasn’t on purpose but my dad doesn’t seem like he believes me he’s coming over today actually and i already know im gonna come back crying , after thanksgiving I called him back but he never answered ( he was extremely upset at me ) and I really feel bad like how could I forget that? I left him alone for a few weeks I KNOW ITS A LONG TIME but I wanted to give him space?... god I’m so stupid how I could I forget about my dad MY FREAKING DAD I’m so dumb!!!! I really don’t deserve anything OH and also I have a flip phone.. in 2 0 1 9 . And there’s a huge a huge back story for why I wanna run away it’s not because of a flip phone. So it all starts here . 7 th grade ( the grade I’m in now ) hallo umm guys my dads her .. pls help

[ccsmod6]

Thank you for contacting NRS. It sounds like you are going through a very tough time and we are glad you reached out to us.

We’re sorry to hear that you are feeling sad. You have could consider talk to friends or relatives about how you feel. You could also consider talking to a teacher or counselor at school if you are comfortable doing so.

If you would like to talk to someone about how you are feeling a potential resource is NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, at 1-800-950-NAMI, www.nami.org or text NAMI to 741741. They have volunteers available who can talk to you and help you find resources that may be helpful to you.
Our primary concern is that you are safe and off the street. If you run away, you need to consider where you would go. You could consider whether there are friends or relatives that you could stay with. If you feel threatened, you can always call 911. You could also consider calling your local department of children and family services.
If you leave home and need a place to go, a potential resource is National Safe Place at www.nationalsafeplace.org or text SAFE and your location to 44357. They will provide you the nearest safe place location where you can go until you can find a more permanent solution. You can also call 211. 211 Is a hotline operated by the United Way that can provide resources in your area.

We also encourage you to contact us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or www.1800runaway.org. We have volunteers available 24/7 to talk and to help you find the resources you need.

We wish you the best!

[Guest]

I really hate my parents they are both emotionally abusive and they treat me like crap while my brother gets treated like this center of the universe the only person who truly loves me is my grandma on honestly if it was not for her I would have killed myself by now but the problem is she lives 20 hours away my parents are separate but not divorced and I really don't want to live with either of them I want to live with my grandma I go see her when school is out but every time I come back my parents ruin everything and I feel really depressed crying myself to sleep wanting to die

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The national Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It seems like there is a lot going on right now with your family.
Abuse is never okay and we are sorry you are dealing with that right now. You can always make an abuse report by calling Child help at: 1800-422-4453. You can also consider talking with a school counselor about what has been going on.
We are glad you have your grandma for support, although she lives far. You mentioned suicide, if you are ever feeling suicidal please contact The National Suicide Prevention Hotline. They can be reached at 1800-273-8255. Your life is valuable and you are worth living.
We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

Hi, I’m 17 (turning 1 and I’m simply so scared to run away, I’ve been so close to it’s not funny. I’ve packed a bag and it’s with me right now actually, but both my parents say if I leave I’m cut off from everything. I know if I leave I can’t go back to them. I’d rather not talk about what’s been going on at home, but I’m struggling and I hate both of them. They think they’re protecting me but it’s just making me even worst. Is there anything legally I can do.

[ccsmod4]

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. Providing you feel you can wait until you turn 18 you will be free to move out of your parent’s home as a legal adult. We understand that might not be as easy as it seems however we want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. NRS is here to listen and here to help. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more about your situation and explore options, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm 12 I'm planning to run away when I'm 13

[ccsmod15]

Hello! Thank you so much for reaching out.

You mentioned that you’re 12 going on 13 soon and are thinking about running away. It sounds like you’re going through a tough time right now, and we want you to know that you’re not alone. With that being said, we’re not legal experts but in most states anyone under 18 is considered a minor. If you were to leave your home without parental consent, your legal guardian can contact the authorities and file a runaway report. Whoever you end up staying with may face some consequences for harboring a runaway.

An option you may explore would be to talk to someone at school, or another relative that you trust about your home situation. If there is abuse occurring, you can contact the Nation Child Abuse hotline at 1800) 422-4453. Child Help can access the situation at hand and if need be, file a child abuse report with initial contact after 48 hours. It’s hard sometimes when you feel like there is no way out, but there will be someone there to listen when you need it. You may also reach out to the National Alliance on Mental Illness and text directly with a certified counselor. You can do that by texting the word NAMI to 741741.

We hope these resources and options have been of some help to you. If you want additional help. Or want us to each out to another organization on your behalf you can contact us 24/7 at 1800) 786-2929. Best of luck!

[Guest]

Hi...my name is Shayla & I’m 13.
I wanna runaway because my parents don’t let me go outside alone & I hate being isolated.
ive been suffering from my depression & anxiety I can’t take it anymore.
i just want to be free.

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thanks for taking the time to write us here at NRS. It can certainly be stressful at home when the adults in the household are not supportive. It sounds like you need some space from your parents and more freedom to connect with a support system, but they have not been allowing it. Feeling isolated can certainly get overwhelming at times and you deserve to feel supported.

Sometimes having a safe place to talk about how you are feeling at home can provide an outlet so that you don't feel like you have to take on these hard feelings alone. A helpful start is to reach out to people your trust such as friends, family, or a counselor at school. Having an adult advocate on your side can make communicating your needs more effective to your parents. Perhaps one of these people can talk to your parents with you about your experience at home and how to make the situation better for you.

Because you mentioned that you have been struggling with your mental health, we want to make sure you are getting the support that you need. If you are not quite ready to talk to someone in person yet, there is a crisis text-line you can contact to be connected with a counselor. If you feel like you need someone to talk to at anytime you can text “NAMI” to 741741.

We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

Stay safe,
NRS