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  • I'm thinking about running away from my parents

    I'm 15 years old, turning 16 very soon, and I think my parents are emotionally abusive. Specifically my mother. For the past 3 years I haven't been able to leave the house save from attending school because she would never want to drive me anywhere, and she wouldn't let me walk myself either. I ended up spending all my time online, making internet friends, and so on, to have some socialization. I did go out sometimes when my dad was home to drive me (he works 24/7) but that was merely 5 times a YEAR. This lack of interaction with people ended up being the main reason I have social anxiety, and I also ended up having severe depression. Every day is a chore for me, I go to sleep hoping to not wake up, and I wake up disappointed that I'm alive. I've contemplated killing myself many, many times, but I never decide to go through with it because I love my sister too much to leave her.

    My mother is manipulative sometimes, I don't think she realizes it though. She will yell at me every day, we fight a lot and it always ends in tears. However, I'm always the one feeling guilty at the end because she turns it around on me and says I'm the bad daughter, that I'm the one in the wrong. Most of this stems from moments where I try to talk to her about my depression and anxiety, and how I want to seek help. It actually got so bad that the day of my last final exam, I had a severe panic attack after my mom yelled at me, and I was in tears for the next few hours, and I couldn't bring myself to take the exam, which led me to fail the course. I've never failed anything before, I've always been a student getting 95+ on my tests, and my average was 98 earlier this year, before my disorders got worse. However, when I did get these high marks, my mom would never praise me, she wouldn't say 'good job', instead she would ask me why I'm short a few marks. It made me feel bad, like I was never good enough. Then my own thoughts became distorted and while taking tests I would be thinking "what if I don't do well? what if she yells at me again?" I remember getting a 68 on a test in grade 8, one that I honestly got the highest mark on because it was so hard, and crying for hours because I was scared she would call me a failure and possibly physically hurt me. She's never actually hit me though, not that I recall.

    Her actual manipulative behaviour comes in when I talk to her about my feelings. I've been open to her, about how much my anxiety affects me and how bad my depression is. Instead of being there to support me, she says "it's your fault" and blames it all on me. When I tell her how she makes me feel, she starts getting angry and talking about how I am the reason we don't have any money, because we are moving soon since I couldn't bear to live here any more (racism problems at school, etc.) I'm not forcing them to move, I just asked my dad because of how I feel attending this school. My mom will say my depression and anxiety are extremely hard on her, and I've told her that however hard it is on her, it is 20x harder on me because they are my feelings, and I'm the one who wakes up wishing I was dead. But she won't accept it, she makes me feel horrible, and I've cried myself to sleep countless times. She only looks at me and says "don't be so oversensitive." and she never owns up to her mistakes as a parent, and instead makes me feel like I'm the one in the wrong.

    That also applies to my dad, every time I talk to him, instead of helping me, he talks about how hard this is on him. He tells me to not be so sensitive, and acts like my problems don't exist, when I've told him so many times that I need help. I've tried the guidance counselor at my school, but she was rarely in office, and was always too busy for me. So, instead I seek help online but it's really not the same, I still think I should die and at times I really feel guilty because I believe that all of this is my fault since my parents say it so often. I've tried seeking help from my brother who is 2 years younger, because he is more mature than my sister who is 8, but he acts like I don't exist. When he does acknowledge me, it's to tell me I'm useless and that I don't do anything around the house. I only talk to him once or twice a week, and I really feel alone because I have no one to talk to outside of this house, and everyone inside this house makes me feel like a mistake. My entire family is also extremely homophobic and I recently came to terms with the fact that I am either bisexual or pansexual, so I live in constant fear of the fact that I will never be accepted.

    I've contemplated running away as well as suicide, but I can't leave my sister behind. She's 8 years old and I want her to have an older sister to guide her amid all of the problems in this house. My parents really care about her though, they're always tending to her, so I'm hoping they will treat her better than they treat me. But still, I've been wanting to run away. I want to tell somebody, I want to live in another household where I will be treated properly and accepted for who I am, but I don't know how. I just want to leave but I can't wait another 2 years until I'm 18, I'm honestly so scared for my mental health if I keep living like this. I want to run away but I have no money and I don't want to cause problems with police, plus I live in such a small area right now that I wouldn't be able to go anywhere. I don't know what the solution is, I just feel like all of my problems are invalid because of what everyone says. I don't know what to do anymore.

  • #2
    Re: I'm thinking about running away from my parents

    Hi there,

    Thank you so much for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have been going through a really hard time lately but we are so glad that you contacted us. We’re here to help you as much as we can through this difficult time.

    So you shared a lot with us here and we want to thank you for opening up about so much. It sounds like you have really been thinking about ending your life which is a really serious concern. It sounds like you have tried to talk about these thoughts before and no one has been that supportive which is really unfortunate. We’d like to provide you the National Suicide Hotline at ( 800 ) 273 TALK( 8255). This is a line that you can call any time, and trained counselors can help you through whatever you may be feeling in the moment or long term. They also have a chat program that you can access here: suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

    It sounds like you have been experiencing a lot of emotional/verbal abuse from your parents. It sounds like you have really tried to talk to them about your depression and anxiety, and nothing has come from this. You do not deserve to be getting abused in any way, by anyone. You deserve to feel supported in your home. You shared that you had trouble in school because of racism which had to have been extremely tough. It sounds like you tried to talk to your guidance counselor as well, which is a really good step to have taken. You shared that she’s rarely in her office which has got to be frustrating. Is there any way you could make appointments with her, to be sure that she would be in at a certain scheduled time for you? Another option may be, if you call us here at 1800runaway (786 2929), we could try to locate some free or sliding scale counseling services in your area as well.

    It sounds like you have been questioning your sexual identity, and your family is homophobic which is understandably concerning. You deserve to feel safe regardless of the way that you identify. There is a hotline that may be really helpful to this specific subject, GLBT National Hotline at ( 888 ) 843 4564.

    We’re not here to tell you what to do. You know your situation better than anyone else does, so we encourage you to decide what next steps are best for you. We’re just here to help work through your options. It sounds like you are hesitant to leave home or end your life because you want to be there for your sister, which is wonderful. It sounds like your sister really means a lot to you, and we are so glad that you have her in your life. Is there anyone else that means a lot to you, any good friends, teachers, relatives, etc.? Sometimes it can be helpful to talk to loved ones through times like these.

    We’re here to help keep you safe, and to support you as much as we can. We hope that this has been helpful to you, and we encourage you to call or chat with us if you would like to talk further. It’s clear that you’re really trying to work through a hard time and we’re happy to help you.

    Best of luck and hope to call or chat with you soon,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!

    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi, I'm 15 and I'll be 16 in a few months or so. I'm thinking about running away... I'm so scared of my mom to where I'm at the point of not wanting to be at home or go home. My father has never laid a hand on me, but he has yelled at me before. I'm a very sensitive person so I did cry about it, but all parents yell. When it comes to my mom, she has thrown a book bag at me earlier this year, she dragged me by my hair and slapped me a few times this morning during our "argument", basically her just yelling at me. I've tried telling her about my mental status but they both push it under the rug. I'm so sick of being treated like trash and always on edge of knowing if I'm going to get hit or yelled at or not. I have never laid a single hand on any of them. Im too scared to. At this point in time I'm so scared for mylife that even a simple movement of her part, even if it's to hand me something I feel like she is going to hit me. I just don't even know what to do anymore and I just honestly hate mylife.

      Comment


      • ccsmod3
        ccsmod3 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are so sorry to hear that you are dealing with abuse at home. Abuse of any kind is not o.k. and you need to protect yourself. It’s very brave of you to reach out to us for help. It can be really difficult to talk about family issues.

        It’s understandable that running away seems like a potential option given the stress you are under right now but if you do leave home before you turn 18 (legal age of adulthood in most states is 1, your parents could file a runaway report with the police. Although we’re not legal experts at NRS, we can tell you that it is technically not illegal for you to run away but if a report is filed, the police could search for you and bring you back home which would put you back where you are now.
        Reporting the abuse to Child Protective Services in your area is an option. If you’d like to call us at (800) RUNAWAY, we’d be happy to help you make the report. We’ve also provided information for a couple of organizations that provide emotional support for kids who are in similar situations: Child Help @ (800) 422-4453 (available 24/7), www.childhelp.org ,Teen Line https://teenlineonline.org (310) 855-4673 (available from 6pm-10pm Pacific Time every night) TEXT: 839863 (available from 6pm-10pm Pacific Time every night)

        We take calls 24 hours a day/7 days a week at (800) 786-2929 and we’d be glad to speak to you in person to learn more about your situation and determine how else we might help you.

        Take care.
        We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY we are open 24/7.
        We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey.

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    • #4
      I am going through almost the exact same thing. My mother is either narcissistic or just very controlling. I am 15 years old (almost 16) and i just got my slide phone this winter because they "don't trust me" with a smart phone. She won't let me have it upstairs, either, and takes it away from me for a period of time when I have it upstairs. She used to try to tell me I was allergic to gluten, dairy, chocolate, corn, corn syrup and all of its forms, tomatoes, grapes, apples, eggs, sugar, and several other things. She told me I wasn't allowed to eat them and somehow made me take a blood test that said i had a "mild sensitivity" to some of those things but she kept me off of all of them. When I had a bulimia scare, she took me to a therapist and stopped worrying about food as much when the therapist suggested that the issue may have stemmed from the fact that she was always very controlling about food, ever since I was a baby. However, she still makes remarks about how much I am eating and I am confused by her mixed messages.
      I am an only child and she has never called me names (except for a few instances but nothing out of the ordinary i think) or hit me. My parents are both very devout catholics and while I don't agree with most of their beliefs, they don't know that. They recently took me away from the one doctor I trusted because she put me on birth control (for reasons other than the obvious) without getting their permission first. They are very big on trust and say that the doctor broke her trust and shouldn't be able to earn it back, but she was the only doctor that dealt with my cutting in a way that made me feel accepted, loved, and not like a criminal. MY mother freaked out when I told her that, though, and claimed the only reason the doctor handled it so well is because i "lied" My mom also insists on going in with me at doctors appointments and answers questions for me. If i say something she doesnt think is true (ie about my cramp level of pain) she scoffs at me and makes eyes at the doctor like (dont believe her, shes crazy)
      there are other instances of her controlling me, like what i wear, but i do have a rabbit and am generally well taken care of, except for clothes, which i am given 20$ a month for, which is usually not enough.
      Whenever I try to talk to my mom, it almost always turns into some kind of argument where either we yell at each other or I stay calm and she starts crying and acting like im the bad guy. Then by the next day she comes back and apologizes but she repeats the same thing over again next time. Sometimes It's within that hour. If i say anything against her, even if im careful not to come across as arrogant, she gets defensive and cries or lashes out. my dad always sides with her, too
      have been doing reasearch lately, and Im pretty sure she is borderline emotionally abusive but Its not enough for me to be sure and I dont want to overreact. All of my friends that i have mentioned this too were not surprised becuase they know how controlling she is. some of my friends have told thier parents and they have offered for me to go to their place if anything gets bad. for 3 years now, I have been telling myself that Im going to move out as soon as I'm 18, but things have been getting worse and i dont know if i can wait that long. I dont want to ruin my future, though, so i don't know what to do. She doesnt drink, although she was addicted in the past, and im positive she doesnt do drugs or smoke. she's very smart and knows wayyyy too much about medical things and wont even let us have wifi becuase it may ause brain cancer or somethng so i have to use my neighbor's to do my homework. please help me i dont know if im overreacting or what i should do

      Comment


      • ccsmod5
        ccsmod5 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thanks for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help and we are glad that you decided to reach out to us at this time.
        It sounds like you are having a hard time at home with your mom. We are sorry to hear that things have been stressful and you have tried to hurt yourself. If you her feel like hurting yourself you always call 911 or call To Write Love On Her arms https://twloha.com/find-help/local-resources/ . You can always call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK(8255). Family counseling can be helpful in many situations. If it might be an option for you, you could may be bring this your therapy sessions as an option. You could also contact Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) for mental health resources. It also sounds like you have been thinking about leaving home. It’s hard to know if there is any of kind of emotional abuse going on. Verbal and emotional abuse can generally be hard to prove in the court of law. You could contact Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 to learn more about abuse reports. While we are not legal experts, just speaking generally if you are to leave home without your parents’ permission the police can bring you back home and whoever you are staying with could get trouble in the law.
        You are doing great by reaching out for help and we are glad that you decided to reach out to us. We wish you the best and hope to hear from you soon.

        Best,
        NRS

    • #5
      Hi I am 18. I want to run away from my parents because I think they are very controlling. They don't let me out of my house except for university which hasn't yet started, it's going to start from 30th july. The last time I went out was with my mother for shopping a month before. I have only once gone to my friend's house on her birthday which three and a half years ago. They don't want me to talk to boys. They always say I will not be able to do this or that. I wanted to go out of town for my graduation but they refused saying I will not be able to stay alone. I once lied to my parents and went to a boys dorm and when they came to know about it they flipped, there was big fight between me and my parents. They took my phone. After I broke a lot of things in my room they gave me my phone back but without internet. I have got internet a month back. My mother keeps on calling me useless because I don't like to do house chores. Both my parents always blame me whenever my brother does something wrong saying it is because he copies he has become so bad. My brother is 12. I'm an indian hindu girl. My name is I********a Jaiswal. I love my parents. But it's getting less and less as these things keep going on. If I run away from my house it would be shameful for them as the society will no longer respect them. And they have hard earned that respect so they are going to disown me for sure. It's my dream to go to America and get a job there but I don't think they will let me go unless I'm like very good that companies come to me offer to join their company because so they say. They just want to marry me of after my post graduation whether I get a job or not with the boy of his choice. I don't know whether it's right for me to think of running away or not. I'm thinking of running away after completing my post graduation. Please help me understand what I should do.

      Comment


      • ccsmod3
        ccsmod3 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi, thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: http://childhelpinternational.com/
        That being said, it sounds like you’re going through a lot and we can definitely talk through the issues you’re facing. It seems like you’ve got a pretty complicated situation, between trying to meet your parents’ strict requirements, but still find some freedom for yourself. It sounds like you’re doing everything you can to take your parents’ concerns into account, but you’re struggling with your own happiness because of it and it’s totally understandable that you’re feeling overwhelmed. It’s clear that you really care about your parents and how it would affect them, so that’s a really complicated issue and it was brave of you to reach out. What you decide to do is entirely up to you, and if you ever need help or support while you think through what option makes the most sense for you, you can always call our toll-free number at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We may not have the resources to talk through the logistics or the legalities of your situation since you’re international, but we can always talk with you and we’re always here to listen.
        -NRS

    • #6
      i cant bring myself to come out to my parents. my parents are "christians", but they certainly don't act like it. my dad even hits me and when he's not, he's not even home. my mom is literally the fakest person ever. i still want to be christian but it gets harder everyday. i believe theres something bigger than us or else we're all just screwed. it okay if you have different opinions than me tho.. I just turned 14 and my parents and teachers and consulars are making me want to kill myself....sometimes I'm so confused i want to kill myself, no joke. i don't understand anything anymore. my friends all blackmail me and talk about me behind my back and put on fakeee smiles around me. its mentally hard for me. I'm seriously contemplating running away with esther. i had a REALLY good friend(esther) and which after they figured out she was bisexual, my parents said i couldn't have any contact with her. it been SO SO hard not talking to her. they keep asking if "anything happened between us" at our sleepover. I answer truthfully NO, but they don't seem to get esther and me both were broken and rLY needed each other. we became so close and i told her everything until they told me i couldn't talk to her. she was so mad she started a hate committee against me and it been driving me insane knowing they talk about me everyday. i know u may think this means she's not a tru friend, but i think she was so mentally hurt she didn't know how to handle it maturely. and i don't either. it currently 1:05 Am and my parents ar coming i see if i can edit this ltr i need to post now before i do something crazy tho. help meh

      Comment


      • ccsmod9
        ccsmod9 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We can understand your situation might be stressful and often times draining. So we commend your bravery to reach out. Our goal is to help give you some options and resources available to you at the current moment so that you can be aware of them all and can make an educated decision about what your next steps look like.
        It seems like you have been going through a lot and that has left you exhausted from all the things going on around you. It is not okay for people to make fun of you or talk about you behind your back. Some options you have are to find support groups in your area and maybe finding like-minded people. Know that you are not alone and that there are people who want to help and encourage you along the way. Some resources we can share are the Trevor Project (1-866-488-738 or the LGBT National Youth Talkline (1-800-248-7743). These hotlines can assist with encouragement and support you might need. You mentioned that you want to kill yourself and at times do not know what to do. Know you matter. You are worth it and your life matters. Another resource you can always reach out to if you have suicidal thoughts or behaviors is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255). They much like many of other hotlines look to help and support you in any way they can.
        Again thank you for seeking us out at NRS. We hope that we have helped answer your questions pertaining to your situation. We know it can take a lot for you to reach out so we appreciate it. Know that if you have more questions or concerns please feel free to call us at (1-800-786-2929) or online through our chat option at (www.1800runaway.org). Best wishes to you and your situation.
        NRS

    • #7
      I will run away from my home this month.i have decided that . I am 20 year old girl and i completed my 12 the standard. My family never let me to go anywhere and tithes ties me as a dog.i am very silent and never talk too much ,so my father always tease me in front of his friends and scold me very brutally after they leave,I can’t tolerate this mental harassment.he calls dirty,useless and sometimes I think he just praying for my death.i don’t like him ,he is the worst father ever.i don’t know where should I go and I want to search for job .i surely run away because if I stay in my home,I will soon going to suicide,there is no other option left for me.

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,
        Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It can be very hard to talk about the troubles that you have been going through, so it is very brave of you to ask for help. It seems like your family does not give you much freedom, and that your father teases you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable. It is very difficult to be scrutinized by someone that you are living with, especially when it seems like there is nothing that can be done to make it stop. You are very strong for coping with his behavior towards you thus far.

        It sounds like you are considering running away in the near future. Some things to consider would be whether you are planning on staying at a shelter or not, how you are planning on getting around, where you will get food/water/utilities for the time that you are away. Another option to think about would be to mention your struggles to someone who lives in the house, such as your other parent/guardian or sibling, or a friend that you feel comfortable with. Your safety is our top priority, so if you feel like things are getting out of hand and it is getting harder and harder to cope with your home life, you can always reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1(800)273-8255 or suicidepreventionlifeline.org. In terms of homeless shelters, one resource to look into would be the homelessshelterdirectory.org to find available housing in your area.

        If you ever need to talk, or if you would like to discuss more options, please feel free to call us at 1(800)RUNAWAY (786-2929).

    • #8
      Hi I am 13 years old. I am in 8th grade. I want to run away also. I feel like my parents do not like me. My mother is extremely controlling. She will not let me go anywhere, not even to a friends house. I cannot invite any friends over to my house either. She will find any reason to scream at me and get me in trouble with my very mean father. Today, I had homework to do. My mother told me to do my homework, so I did it. But it is very long. I had to finish a study guide with over 30 questions. They are open response, and needs to be long paragraphs. I was halfway done. I asked my mother if I could finish it tomorrow, because there are too many questions and I became exasperated, and also there was no school tomorrow. She interrupted me, not letting me finish my question. She quickly told me no and demanded me to finish it today. I was very angry, but I did not say anthing to her or else she would start lectruing me and tell my father. My father is very mean. Everytime I do something that does not fulfill his needs, he starts to yell at me, make scary faces and threaten me. My dad threatens to beat me up every day. He has put his hands on me many times before. He has beaten me on the back with a belt. I had bruises and scratches for a few days to almost a week. He always looks at me like he wants to hurt me. My mom agrees with my dad about how he treats me and calls this "discipline". My dad does not like anything that I do.

      Another incident occured later on at the same day. I was still doing my homework and my dad called my name in an angry sounding way and demanded me to come to the living room. I went out of my room with my blood pressure through the roof. My dad told me that I made purchases on his Amazon account. I responded quickly with a no. I did not make any purchases at all. My mom is lying on the couch with her phone in her hand. She is staring at the phone which means that she probably has some evidence. My dad then asked me for her phone. I looked down and saw random purchases of television subscriptions listed throughout the screen. I was extremely confused. My dad was yelling at me and lecturing me. I told them countless times that I did not make those purchases. They, of course did not listen (They never want to listen to me. They always make ridiculous accusations to get me into trouble). I went to my room and tried to finish my homework. My dad called the company and demanded a refund. When he got off the phone, he came to my room and threaten to beat my head up the next time I do this. He said that we will hit me in the face. He gave me a scary and deadly look. He then went out. I closed my door. I heard loud footsteps then my dad came plunging in, demanding me for my phone. He obviously thinks that I slammed the door, which in fact I did not. I told him I did not do anything but nope! He acts deaf and keeps forcing me for my phone.

      My dad came out of the room. He was in the living room, complaining and yelling about how bad I am for 10 minutes. I was crying. I was hitting my laptop in anger. I came storming out of my room and got in the shower. I was sobbing. I wanted to run away.

      Clearly, my parents hate me. I feel like my existence is a hazard to their lives. Nothing I do is good according to them. I am looking for another place to live. I am thinking about living with my friend. She lives just a few minutes away from me. We go to the same school and we have some classes together. We are also on the same bus. My friend's family is so kind to her and me too. We have been friends since 2nd grade. I love my friend very much. If my parents kick me out of their house, then I wont hesitate to pack my bags and march my way out! I'll immediately know where to go to. I will never go back to them, because if I do then I'll be risking my life!

      All I ask for is your help. I do not know what to do anymore and I do not feel like living with my parents anymore. They obviously have better things to do and don't bother dealing with me. Can you please help me? An answer from you would mean everything to me! Thank you so much for taking the time to read this! I hope I can live with a safer family!

      Comment


      • ccsmod3
        ccsmod3 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS. It sounds like you have a lot going on, we are here to listen and here to help. Nobody deserves to be abused.
        We are happy to provide some resources but for more specific resources in your area, we encourage reaching out to us through our online live chat found here: https://www.1800runaway.org/# or you can call us (if you are able to gain access to a phone) at our 24/7 toll free hotline at: 1(800)786-2929.
        In terms of what is going on, like we had mentioned earlier, nobody deserves to be abused. Have you tried calling or reaching out to your local police department? It sounds like speaking with them about some potential options might be worth looking into if you feel comfortable. If you are not feeling safe or comfortable at home, there are some options and resources they might be able to provide for you. You had also mentioned that your parents abused you, that is big and if you felt comfortable, the police would also be able to help you file an abuse report. If you are not comfortable reaching out to your local police department yet, you could also try reaching out to Child Help, they are the national child abuse hotline. Their number is 2(800)422-4453.

        Other resources that are not quite as intimidating and are a little more close to home could be another family member, close adult (school teacher, counselor, etc), or you had mentioned your friend you would want to live with, their parent’s might be open to talk things out with you and help you with everything that is going on.
        It shows a lot that you reached out to us during such a tough situation and that shows a lot about who you are as a person and that is something to be proud of. During such a tough time, it is important to have a good support system, somebody you can talk with. We offered a couple potential people to think about but we are also here for you whenever you need and are happy to talk through whatever you need and happy to offer some resources as well.

        We wish you the best of luck,

        NRS

    • #9
      Hello,


      I'm so glad I found this site because if I didn't who knows what. I want to run away from my whole family and not see them ever again except for my baby sister but the real reason I want to run away is because of my what I call 'Abusive mother'. The reason why is because ever since I was in Pre-K, she used to brutally beat me and yell at me a lot but I always had my dad, friends and teachers to protect me no matter what. Now as today she was just know picking me and my siblings up from school right, so I decided to wear a shirt that my mom told me not to wear because she thought I would get suspended from school and all it was was a shirt with a killer clown on it and I'm pretty sure this might sound like something I wouldn't get suspended for but the clown was IT (a.k.a Pennywise). So when she picked me up, my annoying sister just had to blurt out that I was wearing that shirt so my mom got mad. You guys probably won't believe but she hit me THREE TIMES in the ARM and then she PUNCHED ME! I swear on my life I almost j umoed out that car when that happened. Back when I was around 7 or 8 years old I used to have suicide thoughts and thoughts of running away and now as an 11 year old girl typing this right now I think this is the best for me. I was just thinking about calling the police but that would be to much for me and I'm a very nice child but when it come to my home, I'm all emotionless and depressed but when I'm at school I feel much safer. I'm really g lad that I found this. I really just want to be away from my family. Just please help me. . .

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi, thanks for reaching out to us at NRS. We’re glad you found us too and hope we can help so you don’t have to go through this alone.
        Nobody deserves to be abused, and it’s understandable that you don’t want to be at home considering the circumstances you described. While you mentioned not feeling ready to call the police, please know that you can call the National Child Abuse Hotline (800) 422-4453 to discuss your situation further, see what options you have to get help, and possibly file an abuse report if you are interested. If you are not wanting to file the abuse report on your own, you can always call us at (800) 786-2929 and we can either make the report together or file it on your behalf. If you talk to someone, such as a teacher, medical professional, or counselor about the abuse, they are mandated to report the abuse on your behalf (whether that is something you would want or not want). In most situations, being a minor, if you were to run away, the police would be obligated to take you back home; however, if you are able to demonstrate that you are unsafe at home, they would optimally work to place you somewhere temporarily where you can stay safe.
        You also mentioned at times feeling depressed to the point of contemplating suicide. Please know that if you are ever feeling this way in the future, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255. All of the hotlines we have mentioned, including ours, are 24/7 and completely confidential. If you want to call us to discuss your situation further, we have a whole database of resources, including shelters and transitional living options, that we can explore together and help you decide what’s best for you: (800) RUNAWAY.
        Good luck!
        NRS

    • #10
      My parents always yell at me but I'm adopted and I would absolutely love to go and live with my mawmaw she's the best. But idk if my parents would let me do that. But I cry everytime I leave my mawmaws house cause she always says that she loves me and stuff, over the summer I had a friend that I stayed with since my parents had to work and I tried several times to stay and lI've with them but it never worked out, I have been grounded for a year no joke and I'm just sick of everything.

      Comment


      • ccsmod6
        ccsmod6 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that you are going through difficult times with your parents. It sounds very unreasonable to be grounded for a whole year and it’s understandable why you would be sick of everything at this point. It is sweet and important that your grandmother seems to be positive supportive and influence in your life.

        As a minor, you are legally required to live where your guardians decide as they have a legal obligation to take care of you. You could live with your grandmother if your guardians gave consent for you to do so. If you can obtain such consent, it would be wise to get it in writing to avoid any misunderstandings. It might also be wise to look at options that might not be as extreme as moving in to live with your grandma. If she lives nearby, is there a way for your parents to arrange for you to see her more or spend more time with her? It might be a good idea to reach out to your grandma and ask her if she has any ideas or if she can advocate for you.

        Of course, we understand that your situation is complex and we do not know everything about it. If you want to talk more about what is going on and what other possible options there might be, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-786-2929 or on chat at 1800runaway.org.

        Take care,
        NRS

    • #11
      hello im 16 and every time my mother and I get into a argument she tells me to leave to go live with my friends if i don't want to be here and i think thats exactly what i will do can i still get into trouble even though she asked me to leave?

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello There,
        Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time right now. We are not legal experts but we do have general knowledge of the laws. If you were to leave home if you do not have written consent you could still be filed as a runaway. If the police found you they would most likely bring you back home. You would not be in any legal trouble.
        We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call we are here 24/7 to listen and provide support. Best of luck!
        NRS

    • #12
      Okay so I’m 14 in my life of hell. My mom is the worst. Everyday we constantly fight about everything under the sun just because I’m not her actual child. I’m full Russian and she’s American and Norwegian. She always comments on how we look nothing alike I have platnem blonde hair and blue eyes and she’s got brown hair and hazel eyes. She always gets mad about everything and my dad is in the military so we are constantly moving and I’m tired of it. One incident occurred when we just moved into this rental so like a year or so ago and we where yelling at each other and she jumped on top of me and I wouldn’t stop screaming so she put her hand over my mouth and I still wouldn’t stop.finally she through me in the bathroom.i had no idea she was even that strong. Anyway she slaps me and my dad whips me with belts because he won’t be paying attention and she’ll say things like can you help me out here this behavior cannot continue. I tried running away before it looked like she was going to hit me so I ran leaving my stepsisters.in shock this was last summer. Anyway I ended up getting dragged back by my father and went hungry and looked in my room for two days. I’m homeschooled by the way so I never get to leave the house ever by the way I never told anyone this ever so I’m really going out on a limb here. I don’t even know why he likes her because I’m pretty sure my dads gay he’s made that very clear with me anyway...anyway there is this boy I’m in love with another thing my mom hates me because I’m gay and she thinks I’m to pretty to be a boy. He lives a couple hours away and I want to run away to live with this pedophile I met online he says if I give myself to him he’ll take me anywhere I want to go so I don’t think I’ll be staying here much longer. It’s just hard because of the huge storm last week it left Nebraska totally flooded and it’s hard to go anywhere. Anyway I need help please what do you think I should do and I was put on scuicide watch two years ago and the police already whatch my ass like a hawk but please what do you suggest...

      Comment


      • ccsmod9
        ccsmod9 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
        We hope to hear from you soon.
        Be safe, NRS

    • #13
      I'm 18 by then end of this year(i mean last month) but i don't think I can hang in there that long. My parents are very restrictive and confusing. My father is barely present in my life even tho he is retired and at home 24/7 and my mom, who got a job at my school and thus became 10x more controlling, won't get off my back about scholarships. I'm trying my best, but I don't get home everyday u until 6pm earliest from school. On other days, I don't get back until 10. I have a concussion and my dad thinks I'm being overdramatic, my teachers aren't lessening the heavy workload, and my teammates(in school tournaments team) won't understand why I cant play anymore. I have constant headaches and dizziness and no time to put any effort toward my passion and future career, art. And whenever I bring it up, my dad tells me to drop it and just become a dentist despite how mmuch work I put into it all. I dont even have the time to get a job so thatI I could support myself at age 18. I don't even know if I'll be able to leave when I turn 18, since I can't just walk out and cut ties with my family nor Wil they just go "yeah, you can leave." But I want to be alone, independent. Ever since I was a child, I would want things like karate classes, piano, archery, or just a game. But I wouldn't get it, and there would always be an excuse. Money, time, gender(conservative family), or whatever else they could cook up. Because of this. I can't trust anyone with my desires .I even find it hard to believe writing here will help, but I need someone to listen for once. I also have gender identity issues, I'm born a girl but think, act, and everything like a guy. I only have brothers and was raised roughly like them, but once I hit puberty(even a little before) I was forced to suddenly be aware of my assigned gender and role. But I hate makeup and don't care about style, I hate having to be yelled at that my clothes are too tight when it's a loose t shirt and my brother is next to me shirtless. I'm discriminated and treated as weaker just cuz I am voluptuous despite matching my brothers in strength and resilience and surpassing them in academics and, general ppl skills. I may sound narcissistic, but my brothers act more feminine than I do and their interests don't lie in physical things unlike me. In other words, I haven't the freedom to do anything, am held hostage in my own home, have no money, am constantly berated, my head hurts, I have gender identity issues, my parents manipulate me so thatI they can get away with not giving me things, and I am, in general, stuck in constant emotional abuse.

      Comment


      • ccsmod9
        ccsmod9 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
        We hope to hear from you soon. Be safe, NRS

    • #14
      I love my family but, things are just so different these days right now. Because me and my mother couldn't get along with each other, I had just ran out of my home yesterday. I am 15, but I have no place to go because I am so scared of going back and I am not able to turn to my friends for help. It has been a long time since the last time me and my family were actually feeling like a family. My mom have emotional medical issues, I know that. But she and my dad, every so often, they would argue and fight. And when my mom has no place to let her anger out, if me and/or my brother made any mistakes, we would be yelled at and, very likely, beatened. I do admit that in my part, I had been making the same mistakes. But my mom would turn verbally violence on me and many times after the verbal part, comes the physical hittings. I can't stay with them anymore. I am already ran away. Please help me with some advice?

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey, Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline.

        It seems like you’re going through a stressful time right now and it sounds like you made a choice to leave for your safety. It’s terrible that you have to feel scarred to return home. No one deserves to feel threatened or verbally violated in their home. Now we aren’t legal experts, but generally speaking from what you’ve described, some states would consider what you’ve been through abuse. You’re definitely brave for telling us your story and trying to get help to improve your situation after leaving home. We want you to know you have options.

        The first thing is to make sure that you’re safe and have a place to stay. You said that you ran away from home yesterday and you have nowhere to go. That must be really worrisome not knowing where you can go to be safe. If friends are not an option and you don’t have anyone else you can stay with, there’s one resource that you can see if it’s available in your area that would be able to provide shelter and housing resources. The program is called National Safe Place and what they provide are safe places around the country where they can send a specialist to who can provide talk to you about your situation and direct you to sheltering options and other resources nearby. You can reach them by either texting SAFE & location to 69866 or by going to their website nationalsafeplace.org. You can also always call us on our 24/7 confidential hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or chat with us through our messaging services on our website.

        Again, it’s terrible what’s been happening at home. While this might be a hard thing to do, you may want to consider filing a child abuse report to protect you if you should ever have to return home. There is a hotline called Child Help USA that might be able to tell you if what you’re going through could be considered abuse in your area. They would also be able to help you talk through other options based on your situation. Their phone number is 1-800-422-4453.

        No deserves to live in an unsafe environment, and you’re safety is important and you matter. While you’re living on your own, we may be able to better serve you on our confidential, 24/7 hotline or text messaging service where we can provide specific, youth-focused services and advocate your needs while reaching out to various agencies in your area. We will always be here to listen and help in the best way we can, even if it means just having someone to talk to. We wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to do.

        Best wishes,

        NRS

    • #15
      Hello i'm 13 my grades aren't the best but my mom yells at me everyday i try my best in school but she gets in my face and everything else she has a five year old i just want to run away but i have a little sister to look after im not the best kid in the world but i need help i want to tell cps about it because my mom will get mad at me and i don't have a phone she wont even let me walk to the west park alone which is right down the street how messed up is that she is so mean to me don't tell my mom please she throws stuff at me hits me and screams at me in my face she pushes me against the wall and everything she hits really hard i don,t have any bruises or anything but it

      Comment


      • ccsmod0
        ccsmod0 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are going through a really hard time at home. Everyone should feel loved and safe in their own home. We want you to know that NRS is completely confidential. We will not share anything you tell us with your Mom. You are obviously a great older sister to take care of your little sister the way you are. It sounds as though you are thinking of reaching out to an adult or social services about your situation and what is going on in your home. One place you may be able to look for help is the social worker or counselor at your school. They can talk through what you are experiencing and help with making a plan for you and maybe your sister. You should know that school staff are mandated reporters which means if you tell them about any abuse in your home, they will be obliged to report it to Child Protective Services so you need to have decided that that is what you want to do. It sounds like you have already been thinking about reporting your mom to CPS as the incidents you are describing do not sound like you and your sister feel safe. If you feel that that would be a step towards you and your sister feeling safe, then one of these people in your school would be a good resource for you. Other people who may be able to help might be someone in your extended family or a trusted adult friend who may be able to intervene with your mom on behalf of you and your sister. You can also call us at the National Runaway Safeline (800) 786-2929 to talk personally with someone about what is happening at home and see what kind of options and resources you may have and whether you feel comfortable reporting to CPS. Other hotlines that might be able to help are:
        Child Help (National Child Abuse Hotline) 800-422-4453 (childhelp.org)
        There are a lot of things to think about when considering running away such as where you will stay and how you will stay safe. How you will take care of yourself regarding hygiene and food and what you will do about going to school. NRS is here to talk to you about all of these things 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We will be here to help you and give you emotional support.
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