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Want to Run Away

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  • Want to Run Away

    Im 15 years old and my family is moving to Korea from the U.S. I have been having family problems for awhile now especially with my step dad. Now, my family is not rich and i would consider us poor as we are always stressing about money. My step dad all my life has made my family move around because of this money problem. He doesnt care what this does to me and my brother though, it ruins my social life moving every couple of years and i am literally in my bedroom typing this right now while my dad is going around and bossing everyone. He doesnt listen to what i have to say and he always thinks he is right. We have went to counseling before but he doesnt even try to change because he is thick skinned and stubborn. Everyone is wrong and he is right.

    Now, my dad works overseas in Korea to make money for the family and isnt really here at all. But when he does come home no one is in a good mood, not even my mom, she only tolerates my dad. My dad has anger issues and lashes out on anyone that gets in his way. And is just downright pissy about everything blaming every problem that occurs while hes gone on me and my brother.

    But enough of that, on to the problem with moving to another country. I feel like my dad has been lying to us my whole life. I have moved a total of 8 times during my 10 years of staying in the U.S. We move about every once or 2 years and every single time he comes up with a b.s excuse about why we have to move. The reason is really that were just poor and cant afford paying for two different places at once. However my dad just manages to put the blame on me and my brother again by saying we dont help our mom enough. When legit we do allot of things to help my mom. We do the dishes, we take out the trash, i wash my own laundry, and clean the upper floor of the house. And do all of the little things my mom asks me to do. He blames it on us whenever we have to move and just keeps denying the fact that were just ********in poor.

    My whole life i have resented him and hated him because he has caused most of the problems in our family and denies everything he does wrong. Hes just a freaking liar that tries to cover the truth and cover HIS failures.

    I cant deal with this anymore and want to run away so i need advice on how to do it or what to do. The only reason i havent run away already is because I dont know how i would be able to get a job and start a career without my parents. Running away will probably mean I wont ever be successful because i will be a homeless person in poverty. I want to be an actor when i grow up and have a peaceful life but i just cant stand moving around and having my social life destroyed with my parents and then having to put up with their crap and all the emotional pain they give me.

    Im still undecided on whether i want to run away or not because I want independence, but i also want to be successful in the future

  • #2
    Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are going through a whole lot with your dad threatening to move you all to Korea, and having to constantly deal with his stubbornness. That seems really unfair that he blames everything on you and your brother, rather than acknowledging the economic reasons to why you all have needed to move 8 times in the last 10 years. You should not be used as a scapegoat, you deserve to be treated with respect and to have your feeling heard and believed by your dad. You seem very self aware, hard working, and concerned about your future; which is awesome. Here at NRS, we truly want to be a support for you during this difficult time.

    You mentioned being undecided about leaving home and wanting advice with what to do. Just so you know we are non-directive so we never tell people what to do, rather we try to support you and help brainstorm your options. It is smart to think through your options, and think about what your current needs are and what you ultimately want for yourself in the long term. You might first see what options you have outside living with your family, such as seeing if there is anyone that your guardians could approve of you living with rather than going to Korea. The easiest way you can live away from your guardian's permission. It sounds like your step dad is incredibly hard to talk to so you might try to approach your mom about staying with a friend or trusted adult. Since he is your step-dad who works overseas, if he never legally adopted you he does not have guardianship over you so your mom might be the only one who can legally tell you where you can and cannot live. We have a conference call service if you ever want to have a mediated conversation with your mom about how you are feeling an how you do not want to go to Korea.

    If you call or chat us, we can look to see if there are helpful local resources in your area such as emergency youth shelters and transitional living programs. We can also talk through your situation and try to help brainstorm your options for you, so you can then make an informed decision that is best for you. Your situation is very unique and no one knows it like you do, so you should be the one deciding what is best for you, not us, not your stepdad.

    Please do not hesitate to call or chat so we can best help,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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