I've had impulses to run away for a while

[Unregistered]

I'm twelve years old, almost thirteen, and I've had serious urges to run away. My parents are split and my mother rarely talks to me. My older brother and I see our father every other weekend, normally. Sometimes I feel like my parents left me for their significant others, as my mother spends hours in her room talking to her boyfriend/sleeping, and my father is remarried and has a baby boy. My stepmother rarely lets me spend time with my half brother, and I'm normally in my room when we go there. I was diagnosed with depression sometime last year, and my medicine isn't helping. I always like to think that if the people I care about are happy, I'll be happy. But sometimes that's not exactly the case. My mother had a long term boyfriend starting when I was five, and went until when I was around 10, when he died of bladder cancer. I still cry about it to this day. And lately I've been crying almost every night, mostly because of loneliness. Now that school is out it seems so lonely in the house, just sitting here sleeping or doing nothing. My brother spends a lot of his time in his room, too. One night I went into my mother's room to ask her a question, when I found her crying. She told me that she thought her new boyfriend didn't care about her and went on about how her long term boyfriend didn't treat her like this. It was torture to see her like that, and I've hated him ever since. He also enjoys mocking me and some of the fits I have. I've tried talking to her about how I feel neglected, and that I want that to change, but it only changed for one night. I have more common sense than most my age, but it still hits me hard when I think about running away. I know I'd have nowhere to go and all, but it's such a strong thought in my head that I can't get out. I need to get away. Thank you for your concern and possible help. I really appreciate it.

[ccsmod6]

RE: I've had impulses to run away for a while

I'm twelve years old, almost thirteen, and I've had serious urges to run away. My parents are split and my mother rarely talks to me. My older brother and I see our father every other weekend, normally. Sometimes I feel like my parents left me for their significant others, as my mother spends hours in her room talking to her boyfriend/sleeping, and my father is remarried and has a baby boy. My stepmother rarely lets me spend time with my half brother, and I'm normally in my room when we go there. I was diagnosed with depression sometime last year, and my medicine isn't helping. I always like to think that if the people I care about are happy, I'll be happy. But sometimes that's not exactly the case. My mother had a long term boyfriend starting when I was five, and went until when I was around 10, when he died of bladder cancer. I still cry about it to this day. And lately I've been crying almost every night, mostly because of loneliness. Now that school is out it seems so lonely in the house, just sitting here sleeping or doing nothing. My brother spends a lot of his time in his room, too. One night I went into my mother's room to ask her a question, when I found her crying. She told me that she thought her new boyfriend didn't care about her and went on about how her long term boyfriend didn't treat her like this. It was torture to see her like that, and I've hated him ever since. He also enjoys mocking me and some of the fits I have. I've tried talking to her about how I feel neglected, and that I want that to change, but it only changed for one night. I have more common sense than most my age, but it still hits me hard when I think about running away. I know I'd have nowhere to go and all, but it's such a strong thought in my head that I can't get out. I need to get away. Thank you for your concern and possible help. I really appreciate it.

Hello there,

Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We appreciate how you opened up and shared how you are feeling. For many, that may not come easy. It seems that you feel left out or as you stated neglected by your parents, and we can only imagine how much that may hurt. Most people tend to think of home as a safe, supportive, and loving environment, and everyone deserves just that. We are sorry that you feel alone in this, but we want you to know that you are not. We are here to listen and to help.

You mentioned you were diagnosed with depression and tried medication but feel it did not help. Sometimes medication is not for everyone or it just takes some time to take effect or even find one that works. But it sounds like maybe just having a place to talk about how you are feeling may make a difference. How would you feel going to individual or family counseling more consistently? Perhaps having professional help for you and your family may help with things at home. You mentioned needing to get away. We want to ensure your safety with whatever decision you make. Something to be aware of, however, is that if you stayed somewhere other than with a legal guardian, you would then be considered a runway minor. Running away is not illegal but considered a status offense meaning you are not allowed to do that because you are a minor. If you are currently feeling unsafe at home or plan to leave, we are here to help try to find a place for you. Our goal and mission is to keep youth safe and off the streets. If you would like to talk more about how you are feeling and what you are experiencing, please reach out to us by phone 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929 or chat with us during the hours of 4:30pm-11:30om Central Standard Time.

We look forward to hearing from you soon and wish you well.

Be safe and take care,

NRS