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Marrying in College. Parents say NOT HAPPENING

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  • Marrying in College. Parents say NOT HAPPENING

    My boyfriend and I are both 18 (he's almost 19) and we are starting our first year of college this fall. Our plan is to transfer our sophomore year to a school together and marry. My parents are SO against this, saying it is not happening whatsoever- they don't want me to get married before graduating college. My mom says it's not "normal" and not accepted in our family. And she's ashamed because she thought she raised me better than to make this decision.
    I am heartbroken.
    I love my boyfriend very much, and his parents support us fully because they know we are adults and can make our own decisions. PLUS they got married while in college AND HAD A BABY. AND THEY ARE THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE I'VE EVER MET.
    I just have no idea what to do, because I'm 18. I'll be 19-20 when we marry, isn't it my decision? My parents are so against this, because I'm "disrespecting" them and they say there is no way it's happening. I'm so stuck in the middle on what to do. Please give advice or help.

  • #2
    RE: Marrying in College. Parents say NOT HAPPENING.

    Hello there –

    Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we possibly can. From your post on our public bulletin board, it sounds like you’re going through a very hard time right now. We are sorry to hear that things are so difficult between you and your parents. It can be very frustrating to have your parents not listen to what your option is and how it affects you. No one deserves not to be heard, especially by your parents. It must be very frustrating for you to feel that your parents are not seeing you as a bright adult in college capable of making your own decisions.

    At the age of 18 years old, you are technically considered an adult by the law (unless you are in Alabama which in that case it is 19 years old or Mississippi which is 21 years old). What this means is that you are able to marry your boyfriend is you choose to without having parental consent. It sounds like the problem that you’re facing is that you are unsure of that kind of reaction that your parents are going to have. What kind of reaction do you think that they will have if you chose to get married anyway? How would that affect you in the long run? This might be some questions that you can ask yourself to get an idea of how you can and/or would handle the situation better; if it gets to that point.

    If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having. We would love to talk to you about what has been going on recently that is making you want to leave home. We also have an online chat service available every night from 4:30-11:30PM CST that is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org).
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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