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Im 18 and I want to move out but I have nothing

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  • Hello I'm Gareth and turning 19 this year September 2020 , and really need to move out my house

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    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. Moving out of your home can be a big and exciting decision. In most states you are of legal age to move out, you can always check with your local police department if you are unsure.
      When moving out, you would need your legal documents such as a birth certificate and ID and social security card. Also it Is recommended to have some money in savings. If you need a safe place to go you can always call us and we can help you look for a shelter.
      We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options, please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
      NRS

  • I am about to turn 18. I have little money, mental issues, but alot of work ethic and ability. I don't have friends and i need to get away from this family as soon as i turn 18. What do i do? I want to leave the state. I don't have any attachments, so any advice will be very much appreciated.

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,
      Once you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • Hi I’m 18 and I have dealt with years of homophobia in my house and while having a mental break down due to covid and other world events I outted myself by accident and now my mother is constantly picking with me and treating me like trash and she’s defending my homophobic brothers ideals I want to move out as soon as possible as I’ve begun to have suicidal thoughts as-well as depressing thoughts and they continue to be openly homophobic and try to claim that it’s not wrong it hurts me deeply and I don’t know how much longer I can last in this house my my mother has already told me that I should look for somewhere else to live.

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for taking the time to contact us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing your situation with us. That sounds like an incredibly stressful and harmful environment to be living in. It is not okay that your family is acting out in homophobic ways and making you feel less than. You deserve to experience acceptance and to feel supported. This may be an isolating or lonely time for you, but we want you to know that you are not alone in this. We are here to listen and help as much as possible as you take these next steps. You can also reach out to The Trevor Project if you need a safe space to talk through your feelings and to get the support that you deserve. It is a crisis line specifically for LGBTQ youth. www.thetrevorproject.org.

      We are happy to connect you with supportive housing services in your area if needed. One option could be a transitional living program. TLPs are long term housing programs for young adults that can provide a stable place to live while you work toward becoming independent.

      Because our email and bulletin services are different in that we can only respond twice, we can better help you explore your options and talk through a plan by phone or through live chat. If you would like to talk more or have us look for resources, you can contact us directly 24/7 by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or through live chat at 1800runaway.org.

      We look forward to hearing from you soon so that we can provide support and resources,
      NRS
      Last edited by ccsmod13; 08-21-2020, 08:33 PM.

  • I want to move out because my parents are always getting mad at me for something small like if they assign me multiple chores and I miss one they yell at me for the one. Throughout my whole life imhave always struggled to have good grades and my older sibling always had straight A's made my life hard. I was always compared to them or anyone else like my cousins because i wasnt able to have good grades. It wasnt until college when i was diagnosed with adhd and well it has helped with some accomidations but while being in college i have only failed on class but passed the other ones with A's and B's but if i tell them about that one f they will get mad and probably ground me for a while and take my phone. I am 19 and am completely scared of my parents. They don't understand what i go through. I can clean the whole house but if something is wrong they would get mad. They get mad if i am on my phone around them. like idk what to do anymore. every night i cry myself to sleep because my self esteem is so low and i don't feel good enough.

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for contacting us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing your situation with us. From what you have shared it sounds like staying at home with your parents has been taking a toll on your mental health. It must be incredibly stressful to be made to feel as less than or as if you need to walk around on eggshells to avoid arguments. This is also unfair to you. You deserve to be treated with respect and to feel supported. Your parents words and actions are not a reflection of your worth as a human being.

      We can be a safe space to talk through your situation and explore your possible options. We are happy to safety plan with you if you decide you need to leave or find ways to get the support you deserve if you decide you cannot leave immediately. We can also connect you with shelters, transitional living programs, and other housing resources to help you work toward living independently.

      Our email and Bulletin services are different in that we can only respond twice. If you would like to talk more in detail about your situation and receive immediate help, we encourage you to reach out to us through our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at 1800runaway.org (click on the CHAT button on our website homepage).

      We look forward to hearing from you soon so that we can help,
      NRS

  • I’m 18, but my father won’t let me get a job or move out of the house I’m in. My family is toxic and I’ve been through more than I’d like to share. It’s resulted in several court cases. I’m scared to try and get a job, and a place behind his back. I have no where else to go. I feel utterly alone, because no one I’m my family cares for my situation. My friend is also in a similar situation, but she’s not yet 18. We’ve both thought about running away, and have talked each other out of committing suicide on several occasions. My father dictates everything I do. I feel suffocated. I don’t know what else to do.

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      We understand that having a parent attempt to prevent you from becoming independent can be incredibly difficult to deal with. Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone.

      There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can. We are available 24/7 by phone at 1-800-786-2929 and through live chat at 1800runaway.org to help you explore your possible options and provide resources.

      We look forward to hearing from you soon so that we can help!
      NRS

  • I am 18 years old and soon I'll turn 19. I have mental issues which is causing a lot of problems with my family and because of all these I'm unable to focus on my studies. I know there is no trust worthy people around me . I have problem with everyone. I believe my intention is not bad but its not working. I want to move out so that I can start new life away from all these toxicity to achieve my goals. I want to start over everything. I've tried suicide attempts before to finish everything but now I've understood finishing everything wont make change . I should get up and start over . And I'll only be able to do this if I move out and start over . My college is 25 minutes far from my father's home which I think might be a problem for me to move out . As I can get a accommodation if I live 2 hours far from my educational institution.
    In short the reason for me to move out is not to rely on anyone and start over everything and to focus on my education and achieve my goals and stay away from all these toxicity. These are having an impact on my education because I end up hurting myself and take medicine that are not prescribed for me and then stay Ill for several days. I've tried to contact people for this but I cant trust anyone around me . However my only goal for life is my education and reaching my aim which is only possible if I stay away from everything and start a new life . I completely do not want to break ties with my family as I know they are not the ones to be blamed . The only problem is ME. And if I stay away from them I wont get into any troubles and can completely put all my efforts on my studies.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • Hey I’m 18 years old and I am In need to move out on the ASAP I cannot live in this house any longer my parents are not Allowing me to go out not even grab lunch not even go for walk they won’t even allow me to go to my ball more like I need to get out of this out ASAP I can’t live like this I’m at 18 and they still think they can control my life if I stay in this house I’m going to go suicidal my parents do not help with my mental health they just don’t understand I do have money I have a part-time job I just need help to get out of this house

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this.
      Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.
      We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe and stay strong,
      NRS

  • I just turned 18 this month and I can’t handle my moms boyfriend they been together for like 13 years and i kinda grew up with home but not father figure. I’m like ghetto and all that so I smoke weed to keep me calm but I’m still stuck in my parent house I got over 10 grand but I’m saving it for a house in the future not sure what to do and I really have had enough of all the negative energy and vibes from my moms boyfriend.I don’t know how I would tell my parent like hey I’m leaving i love you but I got to go I can’t take it anymore or what,! But yeah just been smoking weed my last 3 years and I’m still i. School but I wanna leave that house. But I also have a little brother and older sister living at the house and I feel bad when bad attitude is then shown to them. And I’m not sure what to do

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.

  • Please help me. I need help. I am 16 right now. DCFS has come to my house 5 times this year but the reasons aren’t bad enough that they’ve taken me away. My mom is very verbally abusive and emotionally neglecting. She doesn’t give me my phone ever because I am “a disgrace”. She tells me to kill myself and tells me to run away so that she can call 911 so they can put me in jail so that my inmates kill me. And she locks up the pantry and my room and the art supplies. My therapist said that I should get out as soon as possible. I’ve been to therapy since I was 3. My first hospitalization was when I was 5. My mom puts me in places when she’s angry at me. I’ve been to 17 different therapists and every time they tell her she is the one who needs help, she puts me with a new one. She’s gotten violent and she starved me last winter. I have a boyfriend who is 18 and I know this makes me sound like a whore for dating a guy older than me but he is so amazing and so please don’t judge me. Anyway, I need help on how to get started to make my way up to moving in with him at 18. I have nothing. No money, no car, no permit, no job. I have nothing but I need to get out when I’m 18 I really do. Please help me. Please. I love her so much but this is hell for me. I’m scared that if I move out at 18 she’ll refuse to pay for my college. Please help.

    Comment


    • ccsmod16
      ccsmod16 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out. We are glad that you did.
      It sounds like you are going through a lot of things that you don’t deserve to. The verbal abuse and the awful things she says are wrong and you don’t deserve that. We are very sorry that DCFS has not helped you and that she keeps changing therapists on you.
      We don’t judge people in general, and your boyfriend is age appropriate anyway, so you are safe talking with us. But the best way for us to help you is if we can have a conversation with you, either by phone or via live chat.
      We hope that you will chat with us via www.1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) We are here for you 24/7 and are here to listen and help.

  • I’m turning 18 in March and I have a learning disability I want to move out do I have to listen to my parent

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Once you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live.  We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.

  • Hi, I really don’t have no where else to ask about this but I seriously need to get out of my home. My dad is extremely abusive, he beats me and throws rocks at me and made a card with my ssn without me knowing anything. I am too scared to reach out or to move anywhere because he said if I were to leave my house on bad terms with him, he would make my image to my family look bad. Hes also cheated on my mom and threatened to deport her if she snitched to the husband of his mistress. Please help, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to send him to jail either because I have 6 younger siblings and they all need their dad. Please help.

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you opening up to us. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

      It sounds like living with your father is very difficult, and it's completely understandable you'd want out of that situation. Further, you don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. The national domestic violence hotline (http://www.thehotline.org/) may also be a good resource, as you are over the age of 17.

      It also seems like you may be a good fit for a long term shelter. These shelters typically allow you to stay for 6-24 months, depending on your need and the organization. If you would like to further discuss the details of your situation, we encourage you to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can search for resources in your area.

      If calling is not feasible, you can also chat us at www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

      We hope this helped and take care!


      NRS

  • Hi, I'm planning to move out when I'm 18. I'm currently 16, and dealing with my parents emotional abuse. They threaten beatings, constantly yell at me, and have laid their hands on my brother before (they have grabbed him up by the collar of his shirt and choked him before). They said they would kick their children out of the house if any of them were LGBT+, and I'm sorta maybe questioning, so I am rather worried about that. I haven't been happy in my home for a long time. I don't have much of a plan, but I have some time to figure one out, and I have the beginnings of one. Me and two of my friends have been talking about moving into an apartment together once we're all of age (1, although both of them live in different states than me. I don't know where I am going to go, but I know that I am leaving my state. I am going to finally be taking my learners test in May (it had to be pushed back so far because of the virus), and then I'll hopefully be able to get my license by 17. I guess I'm just asking for some advice as I don't know what to do for this plan to work, and I want to be prepared so I can leave as soon as possible.

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time and we want you to know that you are not alone.
      You do not deserve to be abused in any type of way and we are sorry you and your siblings are going through that. You do have every right to file an abuse report and there are a few ways to go about doing that. One option would be to call Child Help at 1800-422-4453, and they would be able to help with filing a report. You can also consider talking to a school counselor, because they are mandated reporters they would be required to file a report. Lastly, you can always call or chat with us and we would be happy to help you with a report.
      You mentioned waiting until you are 18 to leave, in most states the legal age to leave home without permission is 18, so you would be of legal age. It is great that you are beginning to make a plan. One option to consider would be to have money saved for rent, food and other bills, but also a few hundred saved for emergencies. Your first step would be to figure out what state you would want to live in, then do research on the cost of living. After you figure out what state you want to live in you can research jobs on Indeed or other platforms.
      We can help you more with your plan over the phone or through our chat platform. We are here for you 24/7 by phone or by chat. Please contact us to explore more options or if you have any more questions. Best of luck!
      NRS

  • I’m 18 and I moved out. I have no money and no job. I am staying at a friends house. But I don’t know what to do with myself. I am stressing over money and it’s becoming worse on my mental health

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello there,
      Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like moving out has been stressful for you. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can. You can call us at 800-RUNAWAY or chat with us via our live chat at www.1800RUNAWAY.org as we can only respond to forums twice.
      Hope to hear from you soon.
      NRS

  • Hi, I'm 18 and I need to move out of my home. I just started my first job today, but heres the catch. My sister took us out to get our eyebrows done and we stopped for lunch. I had no money on my card, because I spent it on my mothers day gift to my mom. I tell my mom I needed money so I could eat, and ask her to venmo it to me. She then blows up on me in the middle of the Subway and I get upset. This happened on my 18th birthday and I am yet to have been treated like an adult. My parents are led to believe that I have a bunch of money to pay for bills, insurance, and other fees that I am going to have. I want to go to college, but I don't know where to go or what to do, because my sister can't help me. I hate speaking my mind, because they're always invalidated. I've came to the conclusion that I need to move out, but I have no where else I can go..

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello there,
      As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can. You can call us at 1800-RUNAWAY or chat with us via our live chat at www.1800RUNAWAY.org. We can only respond to forum posts twice so it may be best to reach us via those means for further help.
      Hope to hear from you soon.
      NRS

  • Hi I’m 18 and want to leave my house because of my dad. I have a job right now but all my money is being taken away by my parent what do you think I should do.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you so much for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like living at home has been difficult for you recently.

      As an 18 year old, you are considered to be an adult by law and are able to leave home with or without parental permission. It may be important for you to plan a safe place to go. You could stay with a friend, family member, get a hotel room, or if you make enough money, you could make plans to rent an apartment somewhere. If you are feeling invalidated and taken advantage of, it is well within your rights to be able to leave that situation.

      If you need help making a plan or talking through options, we are here 24/7 to offer confidential support. Please give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or live chat with us through our website (www.1800RUNAWAY.org). We are here to help in any way that we can.

      Best of luck,
      NRS
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