Im 18 and I want to move out but I have nothing

[Guest]

Hi I am 18 my life is a total reck with my family I can't stay in my family any longer but I have no funds or car I need help

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for contacting NRS, we are here to help and we are here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time right now. Being 18 years old you are allowed to leave home legally. You mentioned that you do not have a car or funds to leave home, which can make leaving home more difficult. One thing you could consider, is staying at a friends or family member’s house. Also you could look into jobs that are in walking distance to your home and save money until you leave home. Also if you would like to call us we can help locate shelters, which are free and sometimes they can even provide transportation. Also National Safe place may be an option for you. You can text National Safe Place at 4HELP with your zipcode and the word safe and they will text you with safe places in your area and a crisis worker can meet you at your location. We really hope this information has helped you in your situation. We wish you the best of luck, and if you would like to talk more you can call us at any time, we are available 24/7.
NRS

[Guest]

I am turning 18 on January 6th 2019 in 92 more days.
I been verbal abuse and emotional abuse for years. my parents recently got into a physical fight, my mom said I couldn't tell anyone but I told my boyfriend dad, his dad is my mentor, and my youth pastor I told as well, they reported it as domestic violence. My parents found out that CPS is involved on September 19th 2018, my step-dad drove to my high school, and said this is all my fault, I ruin the family, and he will never forgive me for this, we haven't spoke in 17 days, sense September 19th 2018. These fights happend sense I was young and it got better but it broke out again. I was scared so I spoke the truth. and parents are calling me a liar, they took the church away I go to, boyfriends house away, took my mentors out of my life, disconnected my phone line. I can't make calls or text anymore. took everything. today. my mom called me a idiot, and said I wasn't to return home until a hour I was at the tennis courts. they verbal abuse me and emotional abuse me. I told the sheriff I was scared to go home and they couldn't do anything because I wasn't neglected or physical abuse. I still see my mentors after school, my mentor, picks up his kids from school and my other mentors go to my sports events. My boyfriend family said I can stay with them either on the couch, or in the little sisters room so I have a place to stay. I have 85% of my clothes packed up. This has been happening for years. My step-mom neglected me and there a court order I can't live there because of it so I can't live my dad. I am attempted to run away all the time I am feeling pain, hate, upset, anger, sad, brokenness and thats all because of my mom shes not a mom she never once showed that my mentors showed me what a father looks like and what a mother looks like and what peace, love and support. my boyfriends parents said I can stay with them I just don't know how to move out with out a job, license, or anything, money they said they will help me with everything for the remainder of high school. so thats good. But how do I move out the day I am 18 just take my things and don't look back?

[ccsmod9]

We want to thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that often times life gets hard and it is even harder to seek help and support. However we hope that we can listen and help in any way we can.
From what we gather from your story it has been a difficult road for you. No one should have to endure the things you have endured. Moreover be put down by others. You deserve to feel safe and wanted at home. What you did was brave and simply an act that was necessary at that time. We commend your courage to go through something like that because not many people are able to do that. As far as turning 18, once you turn 18 you have the full right to move out no questions asked. You are considered an adult at 18 and therefore have the right to make your own decisions as far who you want to live with etc. If you fear your parents stopping you from moving out you have the right to call the Police and they will escort you out and give you a chance to get your things out of the house so that your parents wont hurt you. Another option is perhaps asking a friend to help you move out or even a family member that is willing to help. But as far as the legality of the situation you are in your full rights to not want to stay with your parents.
Again we want to thank you for reaching out to us. We know that it took a lot for you to reach out and we want you to know we value your story and all that you’ve been through. We hope that you can find a solution to your current situation. If you do happen to have more questions or concerns please do not hesitate to call us at (1-800-786-2929) or online at (www.1800runaway.org ) on our chat option.
Best Wishes-NRS

[Guest]

I have to get out

Hi, I’m currently 17 and will be 18 in February but I’m having serious family issues right now. I suffer from verbal and emotional abuse daily and as of to today I am now responsible for figuring out how to survive on my own. My mother has refused to cook/but me food so now I must feed myself and I have no job and after years of being told I’m too young to make my own food I don’t have much experience. She has also made it clear I will be responsible for my hair and I have no problem washing it myself but I’ve never had to blowout and press my own hair before and with senior pictures coming up I have no idea how I’ll look. Everyday she degrades me and especially my choices (at the moment it’s mostly about college and my boyfriend) and I have literally broke down and cried and told her about how I feel and she blames me for feeling the way I do because she says I’m misinterpreting everything she does but I can’t have misinterpreted her for my entire life, could I? I’m at the edge of the cliff and I need a way out. I don’t want to live at home I hate it here but I have nowhere to go and nowhere to run and I feel really stuck and desperate. I plan to leave this place and my mother forever after I graduate high school.... but until then I don’t how I’ll survive. She will not teach me to drive or enroll me in driving school so I don’t have much access to transportation and I’m not 18 yet so I still have to follow her very strict and unfair rules. How should I deal with this for the rest of senior year? I’m very sad and angry and hurt and.confused and unhappy. Please help me I don’t know what to do with myself and I don’t want to do anything too drastic.

[ccsmod9]

Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline, know we appreciate your bravery for reaching out to us and seeking help. We know that it must be difficult to be going through the situation you are experiencing but our hope is to do the best at helping you know your options and resources available to you.
In regards to the more specific information it seems like you might be experiencing some suicidal thoughts and behaviors know that there are options and you can find help and someone who is wanting to walk alongside you. A good resource to have in mind if you ever do have suicidal thoughts or behaviors is to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1800-273-8255). As far as the situation with your mom it sounds like a good option would be to bring a third party in. Perhaps a teacher, school counselor, Dad, a close family member that can advocate for you. These people might be able to help communicate what is going on and maybe find some good solutions to the situation. You definitely do not deserve to be put down or made fun of and by looking into some of these options you might have a good chance of actually being heard. If however you no longer feel safe anymore at home you have the right to call the police as well to assist you.
Again thanks so much for reaching out to us here at NRS. It is our hope that we helped along your situation and at least provided some resource that might help you further in figuring out what to do. If for any reason you have question or concerns please feel free to call us at (1-800-786-2929) or online at (www.1800runaway.org) on our chat option.
Best Wishes - NRS

[Guest]

Im 18 and I wanna move out. My parents are old school. I love them a lot but they treat me as I am 8 and not 18. I don’t misbehave. Don’t drink no drugs just school hangout with friends come home. I don’t ask for much either. I’m productive at school but can’t get a job, I have my license but no car. I turned 18 in September and I want to love out because my parents are taking any control I have from my life on me. I not Anel to do what most people my age do. I feel depressed at times stuck at home rather than living my life. I want to move out but with no money or job I can’t find a way to start. I really need some help cuz I can’t stand being home anymore with people who won take the time to listen to me rather then believing they are right 24/7. Im my own person I live in this generation. They don’t, not with their mindset and beliefs. I’m also having trouble coming out of the closet because my parents wouldn’t accept me if I did.
Point blank I need to move on find out who I am in the world without them lecturing me. Please help

[ccsmod6]

Hello there,
Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS. That sounds like a lot to have going on but it shows a lot that you reached out to us here today, that is something worth being proud of.
It can be hard being at home and feeling like you aren’t being treated the way you feel you should be, especially if you feel your parents won’t listen to you. Sometimes talking with another trusted adult, maybe somebody your parents listen to or are comfortable with, and talking to them about how you are feeling and what is going on. Sometimes it is helpful for people to hear things from somebody else’s point of view before they can realize what is going on. Everybody deserves to feel welcome and comfortable in their own home. If that doesn’t work and you are still wanting to leave home, a place that might be worth starting to look at is any friends or family who are there to support you and willing to let you stay with them. It is important to have a support system there for you when you are going through a rough time. If you are not able to stay with any friends or family, you could always call us at 1800-786-2929. You could also chat with us at our 24/7 online live chat found at our website here: https://www.1800runaway.org/. You could also search Homeless Shelter Directory at https://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/ .
You had also mentioned that you were scared to come out to your parents as well because you didn’t feel like they would accept you for who you were. That is a lot to be feeling, everybody should be able to be who they are and feel that they have somebody to care for them. If this is something you want to talk about, there are lots of resources for people who identify with the LGBT community. One resource that might be worth reaching out to is LGBT National Hotline, either by phone at 1(88843-4564 or on their website at glbthotline.org. They have resources from talking about what is going on to shelters and centers.
It shows a lot that you reached out to us here and that is a step not everyone takes, that is something worth being proud of. We hope some of these resources help and if you ever need anything else please feel free to reach back out to us either at our toll free 24/7 hotline at 1(800)786-2929 or at our online live chat.
Best,
NRS

[Guest]

My name is Destiny and I will be turning 18 years old in December. I have had enough of my parents and all of their mess. I can't properly function with them around me. I want to move out, however; i have an 8 year old sister that I would love to visit. Where do I go from here. I need a job and I dont have much money.

[ccsmod3]

Hello!

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline! Its sounds like you are in a tough situation. You deserve to be able to live peacefully at home and in general. You shouldn’t have to feel like you cannot function around your family. They should be supporting you and encouraging you. You will be a legal adult once you turn 18 which means at that point it would be legal for you to move out. You might want to think about some places you could stay. You could reach out to family or friends if you would feel comfortable with that. Another option for a shelter resource would be homelessshelterdirectory.org. They can assist you with finding a shelter in your specific area. There are even shelters that have transitional living programs in which they would help you find a job and provide shelter until you can get on your feet. If you do not feel comfortable with the above suggestions, you could always give us a call at 1800-786-2929. You could talk to us confidentially. We also offer a service in which we could do a conference call between you and your parents. We would be able to mediate the call and make sure it goes smoothly. If you would prefer not to contact us via phone, you could get in touch with us via chat. You can do that by going on www.1800runaway.org.

Once again, thank you for confiding in us. We are here to listen, here to help.

Best of luck,

National Runaway Safeline

[Guest]

I am 18 and I want to move out!
I live in a very strict family, was forced to leave my 2year secret relationship with my bf because of religion(he was Muslim and I am considered Christian). Because of what my parents made me go through I've attempted suicide 3 time and have been self-harming for a year now. I really want to move out and I have their permission, however because I am still in full-time education I don't have time to work. I don't have money and therefore don't have where to go. I really can't stand living like this..under constant stress and verbal abuse, I have to do all the chores at home and barely have any time for myself.

[ccsmod5]

Hi,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing some of what’s going on. It sounds like you’re in a very stressful situation with your parents and we’re so sorry that you were forced to leave a relationship that was important to you. That can be incredibly painful and you didn’t deserve to be put in that situation. You must be so strong to look for other options. You mention that you’ve attempted suicide three times and have been self-harming. We take your safety very seriously. If you ever feel like you are in danger of hurting yourself or attempting suicide, please remember that you are not alone and there is help. You can always call 9-1-1 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
It sounds like you want to leave home but there are financial barriers. We have a couple suggestions you can consider. The first is reaching out to your school’s financial aid office if you are in college to talk about options for staying in school and supporting yourself. Another option to consider is a transitional living program, which can provide housing for up to 18 months and is designed to help young adults get back on their feet. To find a TLP near you, feel free to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929.
Take care and stay strong!
NRS

[Guest]

Hi, I’m 17 and I’ll be turning 18 in December. My grandparents have offered to let me stay with them while I go to college. But once I move out of my parents home they will take me off their insurance and not help pay for college. I’m not sure what to do

[ccsmod3]

Hi there, thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re in a tough situation with your parents saying they will not help with college and taking you off of their insurance if you move out which sounds very scary and not fair to you. We can certainty talk about a few things here and feel free to reach out via our phone lines at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us on our website at 1800runaway.org as we are here 24/7 for you.
We aren’t experts about the legality of health insurance, but it seems that people can remove their children from their health insurance once they turn 18 but we can talk about other options too. A lot of colleges do offer or require health insurance through them that is just added to their tuition. You can also look into health insurance through your employer if you are also working which may be able to help you until you go to college. Regarding paying for college, an option you can look into is financial aid through the institution you want to go to as well as loans. Those are some things you can talk about with the financial aid office as well as friends/family members who are also going into or are in college currently if you are comfortable. We know you are in a difficult situation and it sounds like you are trying your hardest and it takes a lot of bravery to reach out and talk about what’s going on. We are always here for you and don’t hesitate to reach out again and we can explore other ideas or talk further about what we mentioned. Stay safe and we hope to hear from you soon!

Best, NRS

[Guest]

I feel everyone of these , I have younger siblings and my mom expects me to be their mother . When I ask her to help me out with getting a job , or even helping me get into a good collage she always tells me pay day and just drags her feet . She’s trying to keep me home , and honestly she cannot pay for anything I need or she chooses not to . I have a daughter , and I need to have some money of my own for me and her and she just doesn’t want that it’s herself and everyone first ! I need a doctors appointment , I’ve been waiting for my liscense for over a year , I need a job for my daughter and I ‘s needs and it’s like I’m nothing but a babysitter and someone to do things for her when she doesn’t want to . I wouldn’t complain if she would help me , but it seems like that’s not even the case . I will not know how to drive , I will not have any work for my resume , I’m truly upset and disappointed in my family because they have humiliated me over the past few years . They do nothing to help me , only my grandma but I have no way to get to her , and she’s getting too old . But I never leave the house , I’m always looking at the walls , I just feel like I’m trapped nobody can help me I just want out and to be in a place where I would be truly happy . My heart hurts because yes it’s my mom , but I’m going to end up being nothing and not able to support myself because of her insecurities and not wanting to get up and help . I’d say more about my situation, it gets worse but honestly I’ve just got to live everyday until God gets me out hopefully soon !

[ccsmod3]

Hello there,
Thank you for reaching out during this difficult time. It sounds likes you are feeling pressured at home to take care of your siblings in addition to your own child. This is not fair to you, and it sounds like a very isolating position to be in. You mentioned wanting help getting work for your resume, and getting a job https://www.jobcorps.gov/ is a good place to start. You also mentioned that you are feeling very isolated. You might want to look into counseling in your area, if you call us we can help you find those resources. You have the right to feel safe and wanted in your own home. We can be reached at any time at 1-800-786-2929, please contact us and we wish you the best of luck.

[Guest]

i am 18 and really need to move out but I have no car, no money, no job, nothing. i talked with my boyfriend and his parents bout movin in with my boyfriend and they want me to wait til i graduate high school before i move out. i also have tried askin friends if they would take me in for 6 months, but none of them have the room for me and i can't pay em rent cuz i have no money.

i don't wanna run away cuz my boyfriend would be devastated. i have no where to go, no money, no job, and no vehicle. i tried talkin to my mom bout some things to make my life a little easier, but she never listens and only wants to control me and my life and i can't take it anymore.

i desperately need a place to go and i need to find a job.... please help...

[Guest]

I want to leave my house when I turn 18 and have many of the same issues people have listed above. None of the resources you listed above directly help my situation. I have no one to stay with if I move out, but I do have a job. To be honest I feel my biggest problem lie in the legal aspect (what paperwork is required to live by yourself, most apartments require a credit check (which I do not have), etc. etc. Also, my parents are in control of a lot of my assets and will not willingly give them up even though they "want me out of the house". How do I disconnect with them completely so they can not insert themselves into my life (for example, my mother would not hesitate in calling the police on me if I were to legally move out, which I know she has no right to do, but she will reach out to every available contact and I am not ready to deal with that emotionally). There are some other things I do not feel comfortable discussing, but I feel that my legal situation is very complicated and I was wondering if there are any resources (people) you would recommend I talk to? I do not feel comfortable talking over the phone or internet about specifics, but need a confidential and experienced informant to talk to about such a situation. Thank you.

[ccsmod0]

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. Its sounds like you have a great plan to move out of your parents’ house once you turn 18. It is great that you are thinking about what you will need now. If you want to move out on your own we can talk more about that. Moving out on your own is a big step and if you would like we can talk to you more about it and help you come up with a concrete plan.
If you move out when you are 18, you are considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving is a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It is also helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm almost 18 and a senior , plus my parents are divorced and I feel that both of them have been protective by not letting me hang out with the people I want to any time I want ,plus I cant move since I'm still in school but I'm at the age where I just want nothing to do what my parents and just live with my friends or their parents since they're supporting me. I have a job, car but I don't know if I'm ready to move out since I'm not financially stable or am ready to till my mom or dad because I feel that they won't believe me if I said this but it's mostly my mom because she is constantly nagging me all the time

[ccsmod5]

Hi,
Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you have a lot going on and many decisions to make. As you may know, in most states you need to be at least 18 to leave home. Since you are 17, you would need parental consent. Otherwise, your family would have the right to file a runaway report and the police will likely return you home. We are here for you 24/7 to listen, help you think through your options, and even help you have a conversation with your parents by conference call. Our number is 1-800-786-2929. We hope to hear from you soon.
-NRS

[Guest]

Hi im 18 and i just wanna leave home. I've had so many problems with my folks, I can't even throw the trash out without them telling me to ask permission to do so, I've told them that i want to leave home but they go on about "well if you leave im not giving you your documents and you have no ID so you can't work you have no job because i never let you, you have no where to go but us life is a ********** go on and taste it so you can live like a hobo and come crying back to me begging me to let you stay home". They say that i won't make it in life they don't let me go out despite me being 18. My parents take all my things away even if i bought them with my own money saying it's their house and everything in their house is their's they make it impossible for me to obtain money because i want to purchase all my Legal documents in order for me to work because my mom won't let me I've had job interviews and she just calls the manager and humiliates me and makes them not want to hire me im tired of this life please WHAT CAN I DO!!!!!!

[ccsmod9]

Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.

[Guest]

i'm 18 and a senior in high school and I don't exactly have the same situations, such as abuse going on at home but I feel that my mom is controlling a bit too much saying that my brother is better than me and treating more as if i'm 12 and insisting me on driving everywhere even though I have my drivers license,job and am attending college next year in a dorm plus am starting to pay up for my own finances but my mom still insists on helping me which I hate because when she talks she always seem to yell at me and I just want to move out what should I do?

[ccsmod9]

Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We’re here to listen and to help and hope you or your friend can reach out soon.
Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Hey,
recently i've been going through alot of depression and at home its really terrible and i turned 18 two months but i still get told what to do and my aunt still threatens to hit me and luckily i can see my bf and not get my phone taken away but i know the struggle and its not fair that if i dont clean or clean any of her kids mess i get yelled at and ive been doing full time student and working part time but its complicated and i havent been doing well in school so im really trying to move out and i know how to move out but where am i going to go. I can't live my bf because his mom is very strict on that and i don't have family that would take me in.

[ccsmod5]

Hi,
Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now with school and work, all on top of your demanding home situation. And, it should go without saying, it’s never okay to threaten to hit people like your aunt is doing. That must be really frustrating and it’s understandable that you would want to move away from that situation. You sound like a really mature and strong young person; it takes a lot of strength to take on so many responsibilities and to look out for your own best interests. We can share a couple options. The first option is to stay with a friend. The second is to apply to live in a transitional living program; these programs are designed to help young adults get on their feet and can provide housing for up to 18 months. If you need help finding transitional living resources near you, feel free to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929; we’d be more than happy to help search for resources.
You also mentioned that you’re going through a lot of depression, which is never easy. We’re glad that you have a support in your boyfriend. It can also be a good idea to get in touch with other support systems, like a therapist or support group. Mental health is a difficult topic to talk about, but it can be deeply rewarding and relieving to be able to share what’s going on with someone else. For mental health resources, we know of two excellent organizations:
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): 1-800-950-NAMI or text NAMI to 741741
Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): 1-877-726-4727 or samhsa.org
Thank you again for your message. We wish you the best of luck. Please don’t hesitate to reach out by phone (1-800-786-2929) or through our live chat if you ever need someone to talk or help you think through your options. We’re here all day, every day. We hope to hear from you soon.
Stay strong,
NRS