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Im 18 and I want to move out but I have nothing

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  • #46
    I'm 17 and will be 18 in September.

    I've been in and out of homelessness since I was a child. Dropped out when I was a child because I could no longer afford it and, despite the fact that I'm a very intellectual person, I lack tremendously in Mathematics. Despite this, I want to go for my GED or HiSET but I also want to work either before or while I'm studying for it. But my mother refuses, saying I have to get my GED first. This is something that will take me a very long time because I'm so far and I want to start working while I'm doing it so that I can acquire and safe money for my career and my life, but not working will ruin everything that I've been planning. I don't want to leave home because I don't have a father and I'm estranged from my older siblings so it's just my mother and I. But if I have to for what needs to be done then I will strongly contemplate it. She's smothering me but I have no one else to turn to. No friends, no family, no money. I don't want to live in a homeless shelter because I live in a dangerous area and the only shelters left are the ones in the worst places of my city. But I have no money for motels and no one to stay with. I won't live my life if I live with her. But it might be a very big mistake if I leave to. What should I do? Are there places that I can at least sleep in without it being a homeless shelter? And are they just as dangerous? I know what goes on in those places and I really don't want to go there. How can I possibly go about telling her something like this? I'm afraid that, since I'm the only one that she has, she might kill herself because she's tried it before. I don't want to drop contact with her, I just want to breath, that's all. I only want to breath.

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We are very sorry to hear about the way your mother has been treating you. It sounds like you want to leave home but you fear that your mom may kill herself. You could try giving her the number to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255). It seems like you really care about your mother but you want some freedom. Having a plan about where you would go and how you would take care of yourself is important. There are other places that you could stay such as transitional living programs or Job Corps that are safe. If you decide to leave runaway, your mom has the right to file a runaway report. With a runaway report, if the police find you they would return you home. Running away is not illegal but, if you decide to stay with a friend they could get in trouble for harboring a runaway. You could try asking your mom if she would allow you to stay with another family member or close friend. Please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929) if you have any additional questions or just need to talk.

  • #47
    I turn 18 in April but I have no job. I’ve been leaving a very hard life for a wile now and I’ve had to grow up fast due to responsibilities I had to take care of my sisters on my own. I’ve been through so many things at a young age that I shouldn’t have been exposed to. I really need help and I have no where to go. If there’s anything that can help me out I will Not take the opportunity for granted!!!

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey,
      Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you’ve been thorough a lot in your life. It’s great that you’ve been able to help your sisters, and we imagine that can be so exhausting. We’re glad that you found us and we can try to help as much as possible. In reading your message, the one option that sticks out to us is a transitional living program. These programs are similar to shelters, but are more long term and help you get on your feet while you learn the ropes of adulthood (including getting a job). If you need help locating a TLP in your area, please feel free to give us a call and we can do our best to search for one.
      Thank you again for reaching out. We wish you the best of luck and we hope this response was helpful. We encourage you to give your honest feedback of our services at https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think . Stay safe!

  • #48
    im going to be 18 in 2 months i have nothing.

    Comment


    • ccsmod11
      ccsmod11 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you’re at a difficult time at an age where you’re becoming more independent and the possibility of moving out is real.

      Moving out on your own is hard, and a lot of youth feel similarly to you. We might be able to help you connect with community programs in your area that can help with vocational training. You would need to call us at 1-800-786-2929 in order to receive those services. We also can refer you to JobCorps, who can provide free-of-charge education and vocational training to people 16-24. You can learn more about this agency at www.jobcorps.gov. You also may want to start asking your friends and trusted adults if they know of any employment or housing opportunities, as they may very well be able to connect you with the resources you’re looking for. We also invite you to call into us at 1-800-786-2929 if you feel like unique obstacles are preventing you from getting resources that we did not address in our response.

      We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • #49
    i`m 17 years old and i`m about to turn 18 in august but i want to finish highschool and then i want to move in with a friend and i was thinking if you can help me
    Last edited by ccsmod10; 03-13-2018, 08:41 PM.

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out to NRS!

      We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can

      Once you turn 18 you’re considered a legal adult, so you are able to leave your home and not be considered a runaway. So you would be able to move in with your friend once you turn 18.

      We have a database of resources and if you’re able to call in, we can try to brainstorm with you and get a better idea of your situation. Unfortunately, we are non-directive at NRS, and can't give out advice, but we're always here to talk and listen.

      Our safeline is open 24/7.

      Be well, NRS

  • #50
    I'm 18 i don't have money or a job and its hard to find one no one answers me, but I cant live with my parents anymore, there making me more depressed each day im here and they treat me like ********. I need to move out.

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey,
      Thanks so much for reaching out. It can be incredibly difficult to live with your parents when they treat you poorly, and it’s understandable that you would want to remove yourself from this situation. Regarding the job situation, you might consider looking into Job Corps, which is a federally funded program. Their website is https://www.jobcorps.gov . In terms of moving out, you might consider staying with a friend or a family member. Another option is a transitional living program (TLP), which is similar to a shelter but is more long term and helps you get on your feet and learn the ropes of adulthood. If you’re interested in locating TLPs in your area, feel free to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929.
      Thank you again for reaching out. We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • #51
    Hi there,

    I will be 18 this July. I have no one to turn to so this is like a last option. My parents are very negative towards me. They have not let me do anything in my life of my own free will. An example is staying after school with my friends to do a project, joining clubs i like, just because they want me to "do well in school", but their strictness has made me do worse and worse in high school. When july hits, i know for sure i will be accepted into a university, even though it may not be the one I wanted (because of my parents trying to play god). I want to leave my house but I have nothing. No money. I dont know what to do. Please, is there any advice. Pretty much I wann leave for certain, but have no means to a shelter. I dont have to worry about expense probs cuz the iniversity shhould help with that considering i will not be helped by anyone. Any advice?

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,
      Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like living with your parents has been a very stifling and frustrating experience for you, but we’re glad to hear that you’ll be 18 soon and that you plan to go to university. We don’t give “advice,” necessarily, but we can definitely give you some options.
      It sounds like you’re planning on going to university. If that university has the option of staying in a dorm, that may be an option for you. Perhaps you could stay with a friend or another family member between leaving home and going to school. If this is not an option, you might consider looking into transitional living programs, which are similar to shelters but are more long-term and can help you get on your feet financially and socially. TLPs are designed to help young adults make the transition to independence. If you need help locating a resource near you, please feel free to reach out to us by phone or through our chat feature on our website and we’d be happy to look for some programs in your area.
      Thank you again for reaching out. If you have additional questions, you can always call us at 1-800-786-2929. Our lines are open 24/7. We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • #52
    I'm not 18 yet but I'm just getting prepared for what's gonna happen. My mom and I don't get along at all she constantly kicks me out. I live with my grandparents I have for a long time now. I am told everyday once I'm 18 I'm out I'm just scared and I don't have money or a job I know I don't wanna live with my grandparents forever I feel bad staying with them right now as it is. I have two friends that are going through the same exact thing also. I need help someone please tell me what to do.

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that you don't get along with your mom. It sounds like you are planning on what to do once you turn 18. You could try looking for a job and saving up money so that you can afford your own apartment. You may also want to consider staying with another family member or friend. There are also several different programs that assist with housing programs such as transitional living programs, or job corps. If you would like direct resources, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email , or live chat.


      We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • #53
    I am 18, and I recently got kicked out of my home. I'm staying with my boyfriend's family for now but I doubt they'll let me stay much long. My parents won't take me back in and I have nowhere to go and nothing to survive on. What can I do?

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thank you for taking the time to contact us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are having a hard time right now and soon you will need a place to go. Being on your own can be challenging especially when you do not have support.
      We have a database of resources that we can search to help you find somewhere to go. All you have to do is give us a call and we can look into that. You can also call us for more emotional support 1-800-786-2929.
      We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: We care what you think
      Best Wishes,
      NRS

  • #54
    I'm 22 and my mom gives me the silent treatment whenever i say that I'm going to be living with my boyfriend , not on my own though . i want to move out so badly since my family treats me like a maid and it's so frustrating to tell someone how i feel . it seems like they only care about themselves not me or my feelings

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit about what is going. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and especially in a time where you have a really tough and complex situation at home. Since you are an adult you can move out with your boyfriend if that is something you have the resources to do. If you are needing and other living resources or support we can look that up for you.

      We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY we are open 24/7.

      -NRS

      We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey.

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • #55
    hello i’m 21, i don’t know where to begin but all i can say is i feel veryyy suffocated! I used to work before, my time was very flexible, i worked from an agency. But I had to give up because my grandad was veey poorly and needed to be looked after. He was admitted in hospital; he was blind and couldn’t speak english, no one else had flexible time so I used to skip college and work to translate for him. He passed away and i lost my job too.

    I haven’t been successful in getting jobs after. My whole family torments me! They have physically abused me, to thw point i was left very bruised with a black eye; constantly as well as psychologically, they always tell me i’m not good enough, and always compare me with others, the environment is very stressful here because my parents argue allll the time and i know that my dad is cheating on her, but no one listens to me. I always get blamed for everything! even the things i haven’t done.

    I’ve even tried to leave home ever since I was 18 years old but I always got beaten up and didn’t know who to seek for help, because they always tell me what they society will think and say bad mouthful things about me and emotionally blackmail me.

    They always tell me to go and die, that i’m charaterless, prostitute and that i am mental, which really affected me and makes me think to suicide, I’ve even picked up a knife but never had the courage to do it because I know i’m still young. I’ve had enoughhhhh! This is my life! and i want to live for me! Please help me! I’m always crying because of this abuse, i don’t want to live in such toxic environment! please please please i dont want to die, i want to live

    Comment


    • ccsmod11
      ccsmod11 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are dealing with a very difficult family situation and you are experiencing abuse and suicidal thoughts. We are very sorry to hear that this is happening to you and we hope we can help. You don't deserve to be abused by anyone in your family for any reason; they never have the right to intentionally harm you physically or emotionally. We also prioritize your safety, and encourage you to call out to us to speak with us about any suicidal thoughts you're having (1-800-786-2929). We also encourage you to contact emergency police (911) if you think you are ever a danger to yourself or others. Additionally, we want to let you know that anywhere in the U.S./Puerto Rico, you are an adult at 21 and can leave home legally.

      Best,
      NRS

  • #56
    I'm giving up on trying to be in my family. Im constantly the outlier and I quite frankly done with the arguments and constant bickering. Im 18 graduated and have a fairly well paying job at 11.27 an hour in a fairly cheap area. I do not have my drivers license yet or a car. My mother is holding it against me that I haven't been acting like an adult lately and that she will never get me my license as it needs to be put on an insurance and It wont be possible with out her insurance. I want to move out and rent a room until I can figure out a better living situation I have a little under a grand saved up at the moment and will be willing to live very poor until I can work things out

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello, Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are having a hard time living at home due to the constant arguments. The good news is that since you are 18 you are considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving is a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It is also helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can. 1-800-786-2929
      Best wishes,
      NRS

  • #57
    I am 18 but don't work. I still go college but want to move out. Living with my mum isn't so great and it hasn't been for a while. Tried to ignore it but I can't anymore. Don't know what to do

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello, Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have a question that a lot of our other users have, about being able to leave your mother’s house and become independent.
      https://bulletinboards.1800runaway.o...i-have-nothing
      In addition to being available online, we have a 24/7 hotline and are always here to provide additional support and resources. It sounds like you have a lot to think through and we are here to help you process it. Please do not hesitate to call. 1800-786-2929
      Good luck,
      NRS

  • #58
    Hi I'm 18 and living with family but i am very uncomfortable.. I have a place to go but no money or way to get there help..

    Comment


    • ccsmod11
      ccsmod11 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for contacting NRS and having the strength to make the first step. It sounds like you no longer want to live at home. Home should be an environment in which you feel supported, respected, and loved. We are sorry that you are going through this right now, but please know that you are not alone.
      It seems that you have a safe place to stay, but some barriers standing in your way. For traveler’s aid, you could call 211 to see what they could offer you. To discuss your options further, and see what resources may be available, you can call in to our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) available 24/7, or through our Live Chat.

      Best of luck and we hope to hear from you soon!

      -NRS

  • #59
    I don't have any money or even a job to move out but I can’t take my father's toxicity any more. Worst, my siblings and mother side against me too. I have nobody in my corner, not even friends! I'm 21 years of age but trapped at home because they pay bills and my community college fees.

    Comment


    • #60
      Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline.

      We are sorry to hear about how you've been feeling trapped and unsupported at home. It can be hard to move out when you feel that you don't have any support to do so. Some options you could consider would be programs like Job Corps and AmeriCorps. They are programs for young adults where you are provided food and housing and they also help you develop life skills and build your resume with work experience. You can look more into their programs at https://www.jobcorps.gov/ and https://www.nationalservice.gov/programs/americorps.

      Another option would be looking into transitional housing. Transitional Living Programs (TLP'S) often provide things like housing, employment aid and counseling for young adults. If you gave us a call at 1-800-786-2929 and let us know your city and state, we would be able to look up the nearest ones to you. You would then want to contact them and inquire about their services and their openings. That way, you could start to become more independent and make the money to pay off your loans on your own.

      Give us a call so that we can best help.

      NRS
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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