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Im 18 and I want to move out but I have nothing

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  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    We understand that having a parent attempt to prevent you from becoming independent can be incredibly difficult to deal with. Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone.

    There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can. We are available 24/7 by phone at 1-800-786-2929 and through live chat at 1800runaway.org to help you explore your possible options and provide resources.

    We look forward to hearing from you soon so that we can help!
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I’m 18, but my father won’t let me get a job or move out of the house I’m in. My family is toxic and I’ve been through more than I’d like to share. It’s resulted in several court cases. I’m scared to try and get a job, and a place behind his back. I have no where else to go. I feel utterly alone, because no one I’m my family cares for my situation. My friend is also in a similar situation, but she’s not yet 18. We’ve both thought about running away, and have talked each other out of committing suicide on several occasions. My father dictates everything I do. I feel suffocated. I don’t know what else to do.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for contacting us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing your situation with us. From what you have shared it sounds like staying at home with your parents has been taking a toll on your mental health. It must be incredibly stressful to be made to feel as less than or as if you need to walk around on eggshells to avoid arguments. This is also unfair to you. You deserve to be treated with respect and to feel supported. Your parents words and actions are not a reflection of your worth as a human being.

    We can be a safe space to talk through your situation and explore your possible options. We are happy to safety plan with you if you decide you need to leave or find ways to get the support you deserve if you decide you cannot leave immediately. We can also connect you with shelters, transitional living programs, and other housing resources to help you work toward living independently.

    Our email and Bulletin services are different in that we can only respond twice. If you would like to talk more in detail about your situation and receive immediate help, we encourage you to reach out to us through our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at 1800runaway.org (click on the CHAT button on our website homepage).

    We look forward to hearing from you soon so that we can help,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I want to move out because my parents are always getting mad at me for something small like if they assign me multiple chores and I miss one they yell at me for the one. Throughout my whole life imhave always struggled to have good grades and my older sibling always had straight A's made my life hard. I was always compared to them or anyone else like my cousins because i wasnt able to have good grades. It wasnt until college when i was diagnosed with adhd and well it has helped with some accomidations but while being in college i have only failed on class but passed the other ones with A's and B's but if i tell them about that one f they will get mad and probably ground me for a while and take my phone. I am 19 and am completely scared of my parents. They don't understand what i go through. I can clean the whole house but if something is wrong they would get mad. They get mad if i am on my phone around them. like idk what to do anymore. every night i cry myself to sleep because my self esteem is so low and i don't feel good enough.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for taking the time to contact us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing your situation with us. That sounds like an incredibly stressful and harmful environment to be living in. It is not okay that your family is acting out in homophobic ways and making you feel less than. You deserve to experience acceptance and to feel supported. This may be an isolating or lonely time for you, but we want you to know that you are not alone in this. We are here to listen and help as much as possible as you take these next steps. You can also reach out to The Trevor Project if you need a safe space to talk through your feelings and to get the support that you deserve. It is a crisis line specifically for LGBTQ youth. www.thetrevorproject.org.

    We are happy to connect you with supportive housing services in your area if needed. One option could be a transitional living program. TLPs are long term housing programs for young adults that can provide a stable place to live while you work toward becoming independent.

    Because our email and bulletin services are different in that we can only respond twice, we can better help you explore your options and talk through a plan by phone or through live chat. If you would like to talk more or have us look for resources, you can contact us directly 24/7 by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or through live chat at 1800runaway.org.

    We look forward to hearing from you soon so that we can provide support and resources,
    NRS
    Last edited by ccsmod13; 08-21-2020, 08:33 PM.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi I’m 18 and I have dealt with years of homophobia in my house and while having a mental break down due to covid and other world events I outted myself by accident and now my mother is constantly picking with me and treating me like trash and she’s defending my homophobic brothers ideals I want to move out as soon as possible as I’ve begun to have suicidal thoughts as-well as depressing thoughts and they continue to be openly homophobic and try to claim that it’s not wrong it hurts me deeply and I don’t know how much longer I can last in this house my my mother has already told me that I should look for somewhere else to live.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,
    Once you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I am about to turn 18. I have little money, mental issues, but alot of work ethic and ability. I don't have friends and i need to get away from this family as soon as i turn 18. What do i do? I want to leave the state. I don't have any attachments, so any advice will be very much appreciated.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello There,
    Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. Moving out of your home can be a big and exciting decision. In most states you are of legal age to move out, you can always check with your local police department if you are unsure.
    When moving out, you would need your legal documents such as a birth certificate and ID and social security card. Also it Is recommended to have some money in savings. If you need a safe place to go you can always call us and we can help you look for a shelter.
    We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options, please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hello I'm Gareth and turning 19 this year September 2020 , and really need to move out my house

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to NRS and we appreciate you sharing your situation with us. It sounds like your family makes for a very painful and stressful environment at home, but you have some concerns about leaving. The good news is that at 18 in most states you are considered a legal adult with the legal freedom to choose where you live. Your parents cannot legally force you to stay at home and you are not obligated to return to them. Leaving can still be a big decision to make at any age, but you would know better than anyone what might be best for you. Your mental health and your well-being deserve to be a priority.

    Having a solid plan about what you are planning on doing might be a good idea so that you can think about what will and will not be possible and work for you. Considering certain factors and aspects for your plan might help you make your decisions about your next steps: where are you going to be living, what's your role in the house, are you going to be working/going to school, will you be paying your share of the bills/rent, a back-up plan in case your living arrangement does not work out and you need to leave. Taking this step toward independence can be a huge step to take and we want you to be as safe as possible when making your decision.

    You mentioned not yet having a license and your parents might be making it difficult for you to obtain your social security card or birth certificate. The following website has a field guide for how young people can obtain a State ID and a cope of your birth certificate. https://nn4youth.org/learn/resources/state_ids/ .

    If you want to leave but you are concerned that your parents might cause too much stress if you go to your boyfriend's house, we are happy to help you explore other housing options. We can look in our database for housing resources in your area including shelters and transitional living programs. These can provide a stable place to live while you work toward being independent. If you would like to explore these options further, please do not hesitate to contact us directly by phone or through live chat.

    We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

    Stay strong and take care,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Im 18 and my mom has constantly emotionally & verbally abused me since middle school. I Have a boyfriend and he and his family are willingly trying to take me in but problem is that my mom and his family have had issues in the past and our mom constantly go at it. And I want to move in with my boyfriend and his family. I just don’t want to disappoint my dad. All I’ve ever done is try to make my mother satisfied and it never works. I’ve tried talking to multiple people and they all turn their backs on me and go right to my mom. I feel so alone and I want to leave. I don’t know what to do. I don’t have a car or a license. I want to leave but I know my mother will cause havoc with his family and try to drag me back home

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Be safe,
    NRS

    Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hello, I am 18 years old as of now and I believe all the decisions I want to make like renting hotel rooms & having girls over . Being out when I want to be , being the person I want to be is showing that I may need to get out and move since my parents can manipulate me into doing things or else theirs a consequence of my belongings being taken away or not being able to get rescued while in need of help.
    I am a great son , very nice to everyone they know . My moms more understanding than my dad , my dad is logical , nice but at the same time the rules and pressure they put on me is all a ladder of higher expectations that I'm settling for to be the perfect son. I already created a new room of my own with all my belongings nice after collecting so many things for years since my family is used to collecting things and never throwing them out . I've kept them from hordering since my parents are too old to pick up and move things to clean rooms.

    I love what I have here at home but I want my own freedom and not the sugarcoated version of freedom with me going to a hotel room for one night and coming back the next day. I want road trips , a house where people can come over and enjoy without being judged of being nor race. I have a job and I suck at saving but I have said since a git, I will be moving out between 18-20 and my dads already considering me grown since I'm doing whatever goes against his principles and rules which aren't even bad , like wearing certain clothes gets him fired up. Seeing a certain girl makes him mad even if he doesn't know the full relationship. It's a lot but the whole point is I have good talent , I am working and plan on continuing to work more places.
    I wish I could just walk out that door but where to go , I don't know , all my belongings have to come with & I have to find a way out . One of the trucks I have are available to take and call mine , I can buy my car from my uncle and have it in my name. Whatever the case, I just don't want to keep being controlled when my own room and hanging out time is my relief.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you would like to somehow leave your parent’s home but not sure how to do so. We are sorry to hear about you being in an abusive situation at home. You do not deserve to be abused and it is not your fault that you had this happen to you. We understand how difficult a situation this is for you. Please remember that it is important to exercise self-care.
    Not having the support from your boyfriend is understandably however there are services available that might be able to provide some support through counseling.

    SAMHSA Disaster Distress Helpline: Call 1-800-985-5990 or text TalkWithUs to 66746 to connect with a trained crisis counselor.

    NRS is here to listen and here to help.
    We would be glad to speak with you about strategies or options that might help you to cope better with your situation.

    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more about your situation and we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    You did a wonderful job reaching out today. Good for you.
    We look forward to hearing from you.


    Take care,
    NRS
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