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Im 18 and I want to move out but I have nothing

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  • #16
    Reply: Man I'm giving up truly #16

    Hello,
    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

    It sounds like you are going through a tough time.
    We appreciate you sharing a little about your situation.

    NRS may best be able to help by you contacting us via our 24hr crisis line 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or live chat at www.1800Runaway.org
    NRS is here to listen and here to help.

    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Take Care,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #17
      I am about to be 18 too. And if I stay here I'm going to kill myself so I need to leave but I don't know where to start

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,

        Thanks so much for reaching out for help. It takes so much strength and bravery to take that step. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can. It sounds like you are in a really tough situation. It sounds like you have been thinking about suicide. Your life has worth and our top priority is your safety. If you feel this is an emergency you could consider calling 911 for emergency assistance. We can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time. You can also call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you need to talk.

        Sounds like you are looking to move out on your own when you turn 18. The good news is that at 18, you are considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. It sounds like you are feeling unsure about what steps to take next. It is understandable to feel a little lost and overwhelmed. We are here to help. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving is a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It is also helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can. If you need resources or even just to talk, don’t hesitate to give us a call 24/7. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.

    • #18
      I'm 18 and i have nothing going for me at home my mother and I constantly fight since my father left (4 years ago) I got left back in high school due to cutting class in freshman year to escape my depression and social anxiety, currently I went back to school but my school have me working 7am through 6pm without lunch but only a 30 minute break but Im burning out and want to quit due to stress, i have no job which means no money i have no friends or other family I want to get out of the house for at last one year to finish school in piece with out fights.

      Comment


      • ccsmod6
        ccsmod6 commented
        Editing a comment
        First of all thank you so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline! It sounds like you are going through a really tough time at home right now so it’s great that you are reaching out to find out more about your options. You mention that you are really stressed at home and you want to leave. Since you are 18 you are legally able to leave home without getting into any legal trouble. It’s important to make sure that if you do decide to leave you go somewhere safe and supportive. Maybe think about moving into a transitional living program nearby or staying in a shelter for a couple of days to get some space. If this is something you would be interested in exploring feel free to call us at anytime and we can help you find those resources near you. We are available to talk 24/7 whether you need support or to find a place to stay for the night at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We wish you good luck with everything!

    • #19
      im 19 years old andl i live at my parents house my parents are going to kick me out of my house someday and i tried to take the tsi assesment in college and failed several times my friend told me that he thinks im not college material
      and i have no car alittle bit of money and i wont be attending college because im just not smart enough im a slow learner and a slow thinker i need to move out to an apartment soon and i have nothing what should i do?

      Comment


      • ccsmod16
        ccsmod16 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,

        Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry to hear about your situation. It definitely can be a tough time trying to move out when you don’t have very much money or resources, but we’re glad to hear that you reached out for help. We’re here to listen to your situation and can hopefully provide some help.

        One thing you seem to be worried about is not going to college. While this still may be an option, there are also plenty of other types of education and training that you may want to consider. For example, maybe there are vocational schools in your area which can provide training in things you’d be interested in doing. This can range from construction, to food services, to computer support. This option can be cheaper than college and be more focused on what interests you, and workers at the school may be able to help you find a way to get the money to take the classes. One thing to think about though is that even if you don’t go to college or get any other education, you can still be a hardworking and successful person.

        If your parents do happen to kick you out of your house, you may want to think of some places you’d go to where you can have shelter and feel safe. Maybe there’s a friend or relative who you can live with. Another option is finding a shelter. There are also certain kinds of shelters called Transitional Shelters, or Independent Living Programs, that take in youth your age and help them get on their feet, find an income and live independently.

        Hopefully this information helps you think about some options available to you. We also encourage you to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY so we can hear a bit more about your situation and explore what options might be best for you. Our phone lines are available 24/7 and we’d be glad to help.

        Best of luck,
        NRS

    • #20
      I am 18 and well I have been wanting to move out since I was 7 years old. I love my parents but I can't deal anymore with this crap. I am in an unconventional relationship. My girlfriend wants me to move in with her because she says I've been being abused but she lives in Florida and is starting college soon. I don't want to impose on her during such a time as this. My mom recently caught me chatting with my gf and well her religion strongly opposes us now she hasn't stopped me from talking to her but she sabotages our talks and continues to speak down and say hurtful things to me about us.Our boyfriend also wants me to move in with her and I've explained the reasons I can't go quite yet. Like I have 5 younger siblings who are quite seriously ill and an older adoptive brother who has a real bad temper and a liking for any girls in his vicinity. I've had to physically threaten him with a weapon to leave my sister and myself alone. My parents are too busy with their own relationship problems as well as money problems to keep the entire house off the streets. I got two jobs to help pay for bills and recently got fired from one and am going through processing for two more. I was supposed to be able to have some of the check money however everytime I am paid I never see any of it. I understand the rent needs to be paid on time however as I am the one paying the bills because my dad likes to keep his own work check and my mom isn't working I know there is always some money left over that I am never privy to. I have a permit and am allowed to drive my moms car but she strictly times me and berates me if I'm even a bit late. I take my siblings to doctors appointments and drop the smallest off at school before home schooling the rest and then I'm severely behind in my own high school education. I live on 3 to 5 hours of sleep and it's starting to get to me. Recently I've just been overwhelmed by stress and have finally taken a friends advice of taking some non legal substances to calm down. I want to just run but I can't. My mom has this big plan she says I have to stay for at least two more years. I will not survive two more years. I want to move out now but have resolved to move out after my highschool education is finished but for one I don't know how to break the news to my mom or where to start in getting my things together. When I leave I want everything to be in order so all I have to do is book my flight and get out.

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi,

        Based on what you shared, you are wanting to runaway since you are feeling a lot of stress from having so much responsibility at home. That's understandable. We are not a legal resource, but based on the fact that you are 18, you would most likely be considered an adult able to make your own decisions in your state. If you would like to talk more about options on how to talk to your mom about leaving, you are welcome to call or chat with us directly. We cannot help you to run away or make a plan for you, but we are here for support if you need us.

        Take care,
        NRS

    • #21
      Hi, I'm turning 18 in September and I want to move out. I have a friend who I can stay with, but I don't have any money or a job. Also I know my parents will be against me moving out, if I was to move out and stay at my friend's house until I sort through things, can they call the police and make me come back? Will i have a say in where I'm staying and if I can work even without their permission once I'm 18?

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello there, thanks for reaching out today.

        Sounds like you are close to turning 18 and have been wanting to move out for a while now without your parent’s permission. We are not legal experts but we can speak in general terms. Depending on your state’s majority age, typically 18 years old is the age you can leave home without permission. Your parents can attempt to contact your local police and file a runaway report for you if you leave without permission before you turn 18. If they accept the report and actively look for you, you would be returned home. Police response for older 17 year old runaways is subject to the local department’s protocol for older runaways. You might try to call your local police department’s non-emergency number to see if they would accept a runaway report for you. You mentioned that you are not a U.S. citizen, so just so you know if your guardians are uncomfortable getting police involved, they might not be able to report you as a runaway. If no runaway report is filed, there is no way police could actively look for you.

        We hope this helps, please do not hesitate to call or chat us so we can talk through your situation and help brainstorm your options.

        Stay safe,

        NRS

    • #22
      Hi,
      I'll be 18 in September and I've been wanting to move out for the past 4 years. I know my parents will be against it and I have no job, or money. But my friend is very supportive, will I be able to stay at my friend's place until I figure things out, without my parents permission? Can they call the police and bring me back? Also I'm not a US citizen, will this effect me in my independence from my parents in any way?

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Please see our response from your last post about the same issue:

        “Hello there, thanks for reaching out today.

        Sounds like you are close to turning 18 and have been wanting to move out for a while now without your parent’s permission. We are not legal experts but we can speak in general terms. Depending on your state’s majority age, typically 18 years old is the age you can leave home without permission. Your parents can attempt to contact your local police and file a runaway report for you if you leave without permission before you turn 18. If they accept the report and actively look for you, you would be returned home. Police response for older 17 year old runaways is subject to the local department’s protocol for older runaways. You might try to call your local police department’s non-emergency number to see if they would accept a runaway report for you. You mentioned that you are not a U.S. citizen, so just so you know if your guardians are uncomfortable getting police involved, they might not be able to report you as a runaway. If no runaway report is filed, there is no way police could actively look for you.

        We hope this helps, please do not hesitate to call or chat us so we can talk through your situation and help brainstorm your options.

        Stay safe,

        NRS”

    • #23
      Hi Iam 18 in 4 months. My life have been misery since I was 9 when I met my new biological parents and since then I have been physically abused and beaten up like a kid kiking his toys around . Sometimes I would not sleep and it is difficult for me to speak up for my self or I will be beaten if I said anything back to them. Sometimes I feel like a dog and I have to obey and now all I do is be a slave and clean up after my siblings. I have learning disabilities and I don't seem to get the marks my parents want me to get so they take me as low person if u know what I mean . I tried talking to councils but if I said anything or told them what my home is like I will be back in my country and get married to and older guy as my parents already arranged it. The only way I cool my self down from running away is my best friend she knows how life is like and wants me to live with her. But if I leave and not be back an hour she books a ticket back. This what it's like to live with African parents. I have never went out with friends in my life and if I do and she finds out God knows what's gonna happen to me,I also never got phone. People I live like a normal teanager because of my fake smile. I wanna move to a different country where my bestie live and change my identity when Iam 18. I've done my research and u can change it identity when ur 18 and over and please don't tell me to get the social workers involved by the time they talk to my parents. Next day I will be back to africa trust me I've been through this and I can't risk anybody finding me when Iam gone so please help me and tell me the steps to do this.

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: http://www.childhelplineinternationa...where-we-work/
        We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

    • #24
      im 17 almost 18 in October but i want to move out asap ,i will have a job this summer and im getting one for when the summer ends. what do i do? my mom is the main reason i want to leave. shes is always assuming the worst of me and is extremely unfair. she treats my older sister way better than me and is always putting me down and trying to micro manage my life. i cant live like this it isn't a life. We are Hispanic and christian, making it extremely hard for me to leave, and just move out. i dont want to hurt my family because i love my family but if i leave they will think i dont love them and then the whole family will hate me. i want to move out because i need my independence, i cant live with someone trying to micromanage my life and telling me how to do everything. i know i will do good on my own i just need an opportunity to prove i will be good all on my own. i wont have any family support on this decision. what do i do?

      Comment


      • ccsmod6
        ccsmod6 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are thinking about leaving home, and also care for your family a lot. That sounds like a very difficult decision, and its very brave of you to reach out for help.
        We’re not legal experts here, but in most states you reach the age of majority at 18, where you are legally an adult and can make your own decisions. Until then, your parents are responsible for you, and if you leave home without their permission, they can file a runaway report. If they do the police can investigate and return you home.
        There’s a lot to think about it if you leave home. First, do you have a safe place to stay? It sounds like you are looking at employment and ways to support yourself. And how about school? If you have your parent’s permission, you can leave home before you legally become an adult. You might want to think of some ways to approach them about that.
        Once you turn 18, you can leave on your own. You may need some help, like a transitional living program, or other resource. If you call us here at the NRS, at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat during chat hours, we can discuss your individual situation and the options you may have. We can also look for resources that may help, like a transitional living program. We’re here to listen and to help you.
        We’ll look forward to hearing from you soon, best of luck in working through all this.
        NRS

    • #25
      I'm 18 years old and I want to move out.


      I want to move out. My boyfriend is trying to get me out of the situation I'm in with my parents, but we have poor paying jobs and no where to go

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello there, thanks for reaching out. Sounds like you are 18 and wanting to move out, but you have nowhere to go. Typically, you can leave home without your parent’s permission when you are 18. However, that is dependent on your state’s legal or majority age. You might make sure that your state’s majority age is 18. If you call or chat us, we can look for resources for you that might be able to help. Transitional Living Programs (TLPs) are longer stay shelters for older teens to help them work on their individual skills and become self-sufficient by the end of the program. We can see if there are any TLPs in your area if you call or chat. We can also see if there are any employment resources in your area.

        We look forward to hearing from you and we truly wish you the best.

        Stay safe,

        NRS

    • #26
      Im 18 and want to move out but have nowhere to go

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey,

        Because you are 18 you would be considered a legal adult in most states. Meaning you could choose where you want to live. However, if you have nowhere to go that would be difficult to do. You can go online at 211.org to find a local number that can give you information about transitional living programs if there are any in your area. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget.

        Good luck,
        NRS

    • #27
      Hi.. just turned 18, living in south africa and for so long I've thought of running away. I have saved up money for a single trip flight ticket to start a new life in United Kindom. I have no family nor friends in UK, but now im just too scared thinking about booking the flight because i'll be alone with no job and also being scared of the history repeating it self. Growing up I never understood why I had so much anger in me, i tend to push people away and worse happend. I have made up my mind im leaving cause I think its best for now. Any information about the cheapest rental places in UK and minimum paying jobs will be appreciated. Thank you.

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: http://www.childhelplineinternationa...where-we-work/
        We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

    • #28
      im 18 and my mom tells my sisters she isnt letting me leave the house. she refuses to let me have a job and the one time that i did have a job she found out and made me quit im trying to finish school and get my diploma, my boyfriend and i live an hour and 30 mins away from each other and he is my only option to get out of my moms house, i wish i could stay with my dad but my mom would try anyway possible to press any type of charges considering the fact that he isnt legal in the u.s... it makes my options very limited.. my mom never lets me out, i have literally nooo friends, and for that being is because im never allowed to go out.. i dont have a car. no permit because my mom refuses to help me and anyone who tries to help me she somehow convinces them that im not responsible enough for a job, car or anything that has to do without her. ive gone to the point where i want to move out in the middle of the night without telling a single person especially my mom. and for the past 2 weeks shes been ignoring me, and she tells in my family the dumbest things about me, to the point where being around my family is depressing because no one talks to me. i just need help and want to know if its even possible to leave when your options are soo limited and your mom does everything she can to keep you from leaving her house.

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks for reaching out! We understand that sharing what’s going on in your life can be scary, so we thank you for being so brave.
        It sounds like you’ve been dealing with a really difficult time at home, with your mom. It seems like your mom is being very controlling and not letting you be an independent person. You definitely deserve to be happy and live the life you want, and deserve. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet.
        Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving is a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. It is also helpful to research rents in your area or make a budget. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs if you aren't fully comfortable living with friends or with your boyfriend. They're called Transitional Living Programs, a kind of long term living placement where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can, we can definitely help find resources in your area if you are going to move out of your parent’s home.

        If you call into our safe line, we can fully talk about the options that you have! You are definitely not alone in this

    • #29
      Hi, I am 18 years old and my whole family life has been horrible my parents got divorced and was forced to see both parents, my step mom and real father was crazy, when I was 13 my mom was dating a man who helped me move out of my real dads house and move in with him. I have had disagreements with them but I would suck up to them. 16 years old and I met my boyfriend who got me involved with the church, everything I do is thought full and honestly trying to do the best, last two years my mom has been taking out all her anger on me and the relationship between my mom and her four year fiance has been ruff, they told me at 13 what my step mom and real dad were doing was wrong, but they are now doing exactly the same thing, I cry every night, depressed feeling like a terrible person because of them, i tried so hard to get them to understand where I'm coming from, i can never be good enough, I am their only child and my mom is now turning into her fiancé. I can't tell her anymore she is brain washed and all her boyfriend does is spend money on us. I have so much "Stuff" which you guys will think i am crazy but I don't want stuff, i want compassion, love and, patience from them. I am going off to college August 8th, very soon, but I need to get out of here. They insist on paying for my college so i want them to because i can't pay for it myself but i don't want to talk to them anymore they are so harmful to me, my boyfriend and his family knows they are mentally abusing me, i don't know what to do. When i leave for college and block them out they will stop the income and i will have to drop out of college and then have no where to go. Please Help!

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello there, thanks for reaching out.

        Sounds like you are in a really tricky situation with wanting to leave your mom’s house, but also wanting them to pay for your college education. Seems like it has taken a pretty big toll on your mental health as well.

        At 18 years old, you are considered an adult in most states, but not all. So if 18 is your state’s legal age, you do not have to stay at your mom’s house. However, it is smart of you to think about your college finances when leaving, since your mom is not required to pay that for you. If you haven’t already, you might talk to her about staying elsewhere until August 8th. If you feel like you stay somewhere else for the next 3 weeks for your mental health, you might ask friends or extended family if you can stay with them. If you are looking to completely remove your mom from your life, it might be hard to get her to continue to fund your education. If you haven’t already, you might talk to your college advisor about student loans you can take out to cover the cost of your education.

        You might also think about ways you can self-care and take care of your mental health during this difficult time when you are feeling depressed. If you call or chat us we have local counseling resources if you think those services might help you. Also since you are going to college, often colleges have their own wellness centers or mental health services available to students.

        Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you ever need.

        Best of luck,

        NRS

    • #30
      I'm 18 and I'm still in highschool I'm a senior now. I've had family problems for awhile my mom abuses me my mom husband has physically and sexually abused me he is gone now but my mom doesn't believe me and takes his side even though there is evade nice tht he has hurt me she is lettin me stay at her house but she constantly yells at me hits me throws things at me calls me horrid names and I've tried to tell her I want to move out and get a job but she wouldn't let me get my documents like social security number and my personal documents and she doesn't provide food or simple things like toilet paper and soap to wash my clothing sometimes she looks me out the house and I have to sleep on the street. The thing is I want to leave but I don't have anywhere to go. I found my documents and hid them from her I'm applying for jobs right now I'm keepin up with my grades I want to graduate my mom wants me to drop out but ik I need to graduate. She really hurts me and it is physically an mentally draining to live with her. Idk what to do in only staying cuz I don't want to live on the street. I rarely have food, and I feel like if I don't get a job soon I'm gunna go crazy living in this house I've thought of ending my life once but I'm to scared to do that. Idk what to do anymore I want to leave so bad but I cant

      Comment


      • ccsmod16
        ccsmod16 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi, thank you for reaching out today! Your situation sounds really tough with the abuse from both your mom and her husband. You do not deserve to be abused or neglected at all!
        You mentioned you are 18, which means in most states you are considered an adult and may leave home if you choose to. We understand this may be tough with wanting to finish high school. It is really admirable that you are so determined to finish school.
        We are not legal experts so speaking to someone locally may be a better option for legal questions, but even though you are 18, because you are still in high school, in some states you still fall under the laws for a child. This means Child Protective Services may still get involved if you wanted to report this abuse. You can also call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 (childhelp.org). They can help you come up with some options for a different living arrangement or reporting the abuse if you would like. We can also help you make an abuse report or talk about some more options for your living situation. You can call us 24/7 and live chat us on our website when it is available.
        You mentioned you were sexually abused. RAINN (rape abuse incest national network) can be incredibly helpful when dealing with the aftermath of sexual abuse. They have an online chatting service and a lot of helpful support and information, including finding a local rape crisis center that can offer free counseling if you are interested. You are not alone in this and this was in no way your fault, even though that may be hard to believe. That makes sense to feel that way too.
        You also mentioned being suicidal in the past. That is a scary thought, but from all you have been through, it makes sense that it became an option for you. If you ever feel that way again, the National Suicide Prevention hotline (1-800-273-8255, suicidepreventionlifeline.org) is a great option to talk through some of those feelings. They have a 24/7 phone hotline and online chat service.
        Again, you do not deserve to be abused! Please call or chat us if you would like to discuss more options or need to talk. Be safe!
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