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Im 18 and I want to move out but I have nothing

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  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there, thanks for reaching out.

    Sounds like you are pretty unhappy at home and you have permission to leave, but nowhere to go and are fearful of becoming homeless. That seems like a pretty scary situation and here at NRS we truly want to be a support for you during this difficult time.

    If you have any close friends or extended family members, you might ask them if you can stay with them due to not feeling comfortable at home. It is completely legal for you to live apart from your guardian as long as you also have their permission and it sounds like you already have that. If you have income, you might see if anyone you trust would be willing to rent out a room to you as well. If you do not have any income, it might help to take some time to look for a job and develop a plan for how you are going to support yourself when you do move out. Since you mentioned that you are still in school, it could help to include your school counselor in on the situation in case they know of places you can go and still be able to get to your current high school.

    It is illegal for your guardian to kick you out without anywhere to go, so you do have the right to report the neglect to child protective services (CPS) or to call police if you are kicked out before you turn 18. Please do not hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you are kicked out and want help calling out to police or CPS. We also can look for local safe places for you to go if you call or chat us.

    We look forward to hearing from you and we truly wish you the best,

    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I am 17 years old, i live with my step mom and dad. i don't get along with my step mom at all. Recently she asked if i am happy there i said no i feel uncomfortable so they told me to find a place and go, but i have no job, no money and i haven't finished high school yet . i am not sure on what to do and i don't want to be homeless.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod8
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello -

    Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public forum. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on. Because we do get a large number of online contacts, we do have to limit email replies to three individual responses to answer any questions that you have or to provide you with a number of means of support. So it’s certainly not a means to communicate to get the full support that you can get if you called in. We are mainly here for support and help find some guidance to local resources that might be able to help a youth through their particular situation and we aren’t here to tell you what to do because you know your situation a lot better than we do. We just want you to know your options and with whatever you choose that you’re safe and not on the streets.

    It sounds like you might some specific questions that you want to ask us or maybe find a place to vent about what you are feeling right now. It’s hard to talk to just anyone one about what has been going on. Only you know when it might be time to leave home and no one can make that choice for you. Please rest assured that we are completing confidential. So anything that you share with us will stay between us. We don’t ask for any identifying information, unless you want to report any abuse. We certainly want to help you. If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having. We would love to talk to you.

    Hope to hear from you soon!
    Last edited by ccsmod8; 02-13-2018, 01:18 PM.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    i need answers

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

    You’ve dealt with some really tough challenges at home for a long time now. No one should have to go through what you’ve experienced. It is great that you are reaching out for support.

    It sounds like you want to find more stability in your life and are ready to explore moving out on your own now that you are no longer a minor. However, you’re extremely worried about the safety of your mom if you leave home and are also concerned about supporting yourself financially while starting college this fall.

    Our 24-hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) is completely confidential. We are always here to listen and help you sort through the specifics of your situation to make a plan that you feel most comfortable with. We also offer live chat services from 4:30pm until 11:30pm 7days a week on our website at 1800Runaway.org if that is an easier way to reach us.

    Remember, you’re not alone. It takes a lot of strength to be going through this and you’ve already taken some great first steps to make things better.

    Thank you again for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are sending the best of luck your way!

    Take Care

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I just turned 18 and throughout the years of my high school years my mom and dad have kicked me out for the most smallest things and I have spent the nights in the cold on the streets because I have no one else to turn to. On desperate nights I'll go to my boyfriends, although I don't want him to always be my scapegoat. I can't turn to other family because they get into my business and they end up dropping me home eventually. My parents have done this more than 10 times and because at those times I was under 18 they called the police on me for disturbing, breaking, and even attempting to hurt them, when I don't even do none of those.

    I really want to move out because I can't stand them anymore and they pressure me to move out since I'm 18 now. And the reason why I want to is because my dad's cheating on my mom and he is abusive and manipulating and my mom lets him do as he wants and like I see bruises on her arms and I just don't ask because she let's it happen even though I try to protect her and tell her to divorce my dad. But she won't and because I exposed my dad my dad yelled at my mom to kick me out and to call the cops on me and so she dragged me out and I was homeless recently. I can't stay here longer because the only reason I'm allowed back in is because my older sister understands, but my parents love her and even if she gives her opinion they don't kick her out. My dad's very racist, and I have friends of color, especially one of my best friends and he like embarrass' himself saying dumb racist comments when she's over and he's homophobic too and like my sister dated a girl and he just yelled at her about how the bible and how she's gonna go to hell, but never kicked her out, but kicks me out because I know he's in the wrongs by cheating. So yea I have a job currently but I'm going to college fall semester and need the money for school and I just need to get out as soon as I can, before my sister goes on trips and she can't save my ass when I get kicked out.
    Last edited by ccsmod7; 02-08-2018, 03:59 PM.

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  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey,
    Thanks for writing in. It sounds like you’re very frustrated and you feel like your parents are keeping you from reaching your full potential. We’re not legal experts, but generally speaking if you are 18 you are considered an adult and are free to leave home. You are not required to go to college if that’s something you don’t want to do. It sounds like you have enough money to pay for some of your expenses. You might consider moving out into your own place where you’ll be more free to socialize, etc.
    If that’s not an option, you might consider sitting your parents down to have a conversation about boundaries. It seems like your parents don’t quite know how to let you be independent and it could help to talk about what you need from them. It can be helpful to have someone else around to facilitate that conversation, like a therapist. Here at NRS, we also offer a conference call service and can help you have that conversation as well. Feel free to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929. Best of luck.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    So I’m 19 right life’s ok not at all rules rules rules be in the home at 5 your car is ours your clothing isn’t yours Like I pay for gas I pay for clothing I pay for insurance I take my car to get normal stuff done to it I pay for whatever goes Wrong with the car I’ve been driving it for almost 3 yrs

    Gas 50 to fill it
    oil 50
    insurance like 800 like I pay for this ******** I work my *** off for that car and I get nothing not a thanks for keeping it running not even a how’s the car doing no not a single thing

    I have to be in the home by 5 or a get yelled at for being out to long all this ********. Like I pay for all this stuff and I get nothing but a roof over my head and food and I’m forced to go to college

    jist today I was forced to get a job I don’t need a job I have enough money to last till summer when work starts back up I don’t want a job I want to be free to do what I need to do learn more about my self acknowledging the fact that I have no friends bc I have to be in by 5 is probably one of the hardest things in life I don’t know what to do I sit and think hey I could do this today nope can’t not allowed to bc it’s 5 like I love the woods. I’m an eaglescout I should be able to live on my own but no ever little thing is my parents apparently even tho I pay for it! Why can’t they see that I don’t want to be with them any more
    my sister is 27 she is different very different she needs help and I don’t know what the **** to do at all sometimes I just go out and bike around and think what the **** would I be doing if I wasn’t with my parents what time would I come in side what would I be like if I had a little home or a van to live in for a wile like it makes me sick when I see
    nothing but hell being put on me I just want to go out and camp out for days on end and just say f it Just want to get out of here and do what I do best and that’s making friends back at Penn I made a lot of friends till my parents started to make special visits and make me look like a foolish 9yr old
    Last edited by ccsmod5; 01-31-2018, 12:23 AM. Reason: lots of swearing

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  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. That is infuriating that your parents will not let you go to college, and constantly mentally abuse you. You so deserve the chance to achieve your academic goals, and to live your life for you.

    Typically once you are 18, you are considered a legal adult and can make your own life decisions including where you live, work, and go to school. Preparing to move out can be pretty hard, especially since you do not have the opportunity to get a job and save up for the move. You might try to find a friend or extended family member who would let you stay with them once you turn 18, so that you can have a chance to save up money until you are able to find your own place until you start school and can stay in school housing options.

    You mentioned being sick and tired of who the mental abuse makes you feel. It is understandable that it has really taken a toll on you over the years. You deserve to be treated with respect and understanding. If the abuse if highly dangerous you do have the right to report it to CPS, please call or chat us if that is your situation and you would like to go over your reporting options. If you would like to have a mediated conversation about how your father is making you feel, we have a conference call service here where we can have a respectful, productive conversation about your needs with your guardian. Please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY for that service.

    You mentioned having disabilities and that is why your father does not think you will be able to go to classes; which sounds pretty frustrating. We are not legal experts, but we can speak generally. Students with disabilities have rights within higher education, so colleges can generally accommodate for your needs and there are also online classes if the concern is you being able to get to classes. You might start looking into local colleges, and how they can serve your needs.

    It is smart that you are already planning your move. If you would like to talk through your plan, and help with brainstorming additional options please call or chat us so we can best help. We truly want to be a support for you.

    Best,

    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi. I am turning 18 in February of 2019. I have been homeschooled since I’m 12, and want to go to a university when I graduate but my parents won’t let me. I have some disabilities and my father thinks I wouldn’t be able to go to classes and I definitely can’t go away to college like I want to. I have been mentally abused all of my life and I’m just so sick and tired of how I’m treated and made to feel. I want to move out when I turn 18 but I don’t have much money and am not allowed to get a job. I’m not able to go out with friends or get my drivers license and I honestly feel trapped. I don’t know where I’d go and/or what i’d do and I’m scared. But I know one thing; I’m moving out when I turn 18, I just don’t know where I’m going or how I’m honing to make it. Any advice?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We are very sorry to hear about the relationship that you have with your parents. It sounds like you want to move out but you don't have any money. You could try asking a friend or another family member if they would allow you to stay with them until you get a job. You may also want to consider looking up transitional living programs as well. Please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat if you have any questions or would like resources.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hello hi I'm 18 and I want move out


    I don't have a job or money not even a car
    I've had horrible experiences with my parents
    My mom has depression she takes all her angr out on me always domestic towards me
    Always swearing at me in front of people
    My life is a mess I really need to move but I can't afford it

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    replied
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are here 24/7 to listen and to support.

    It sounds like you are in a tough situation at home and are looking to live somewhere else, possibly with your mom. Because you are 18, you do have the right to live wherever you would like. If you are needing help with transportation we may be able to look up resources for you. If you give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could look up things like traveler's aid in your area. Another thing you can do is look up your local Catholic Charities or Salvation Army and see if they have any programs that could offer you transportation assistance.

    It also sounds like you don't want to hurt your dad by leaving. If you give us a call we could also help you action plan what you think would be best to do to help your dad understand why you want to leave. We can also help you by looking up resources like shelters and things you might need a long the way depending on how far your mom lives.

    Don't hesitate to call so we can best help you,

    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I'm eighteen I've been through tough times but I've survived..
    My mom and dad got a devorce nine years ago haven't really heard from my m till recently and she's not doing very good I was holding a job for awhile I did have my own place for a bit but some issues kinda got in the way and I lost the place so I moved in with my dad and his girlfriend me and my dad's girlfriend don't exactly get along..she's constantly making me do everything around the house then turns around and calls me lazy behind my back I don't exactly appreciate that.. I'm happy that my dad is happy but I'm not happy in the house hold my dad tends to get mad easy.. my mom lives in Iowa I have a few bucks but not enough to get there I was wanting to go there stay with her and try to help her out but I want to do it without my dad knowing I just don't know how to exactly.. and when I get there I'll let my dad know it's just the fact of getting there first so how am I suppose to get there
    There's a lot more facts but I'm not much of a writer please reply soon as possible thank you for reading



    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,
    Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have great things planned for your future and an important goal to you is moving to Ormond Beach Florida. It is great that you have the support of your family they might be able to help you plan your move. It might be helpful to talk to them about the things that they had to thin about when thy moved you away. Things like: how much it cost to rent a moving truck, how much rent cost in different areas, finding employment and education. Moving out on your own is a big step and you have to be very brave to be considering it. One thing that might help make this whole process a lot easier is getting a job and saving money. Once you know how much income you have you can then you can start to plan for the things you’ll need. Another thing to keep in mind is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave.
    From what you are telling us it sounds like you and your parents have a lot to talk about. If you are nervous about having this conversation one service that we provide here is conference calling. All three of us can talk in a safe and open platform about your upcoming move.
    Please call us anytime you like at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or by live chat at www.1800runaway.org from 4:30pm-11:30pm Central Standard Time. We cannot tell you what you should or should not do, but we can help you explore options and come up with a solid plan for what to do next. We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck!
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