What do I do?

[Guest]

Yesterday my mom tried to push me and screamed at me about how I'm a liar and a family hater just from me not wanting to take photos. This later caused me to have a panic attack in the bathroom because she would not let me tell anything to my olser sister. I'm 17 years old and will be turning 18 in a few months, my friends think I should book it because they're considering this as emotional abuse.
I'm incredibly confused and don't know if this is abuse but stuff like this has happened several times in the past (once she would not let me hug my sister and every few months or so my mom will call me a failure or a dissapointment based off of something)
I don't feel safe around her and while I have sent an email to a counselor at my school, I know that if they report it my mom will eventually find out.
What should I do? I don't want to stay at home but I'm scared that if I do run off she'll manage to do something to me.

[ccsmod7]

Thank you, so much, for reaching out. It takes a lot of strength and courage to voice what is going on in your life – which sounds extremely difficult. It sounds like you have questions about whether or not what is happening to you is abuse. No matter how abuse is defined by law or by various states – no one deserves to be hurt. You do not deserve to be verbally, emotionally, mentally, or physically harmed, especially by a parent.

You have the right to report any abuse or neglect at home to child protective services (CPS). You mentioned emailing your counselor at school (which, again, is great of you to reach out). It is possible the school will report the abuse as they are mandated reporters. We here at NRS are also mandated reporters, but in order for us to report the situation to CPS we would have to have identifying factors like your name, your address, your mom’s name, etc (which your school has, which makes it more likely they will have to report). If you want us to file a report on your behalf we can do so if you give us a call, but if you want to talk confidentially, we can also do that as long as you don’t share any identifying factors. Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is a good resource to reach out to ask more questions about what reporting abuse looks like and what may happen after a report is made with CPS. Again, this is just one option and we can explore if you feel it works for you.

You mentioned the option of running away. We are not legal experts, but can speak generally. In most states if you are under 18, you are considered a minor. The easiest way to leave home would be with your parent’s permission. If you decide to leave home without their consent, they have the right to file a runaway report. Running away is not illegal – so not a misdemeanor or felony or anything that would go on your record. With a runaway report, if the police find you they would return you home. We are most concerned that if you leave home you have a safe place to go. If you are in need of shelter information, or want to brainstorm about options of where you can go, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

We are always here to talk about what is going on in your life. We care about you and your safety is very important to us and we want to make sure you feel comfortable with whatever you want to do. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us over the phone or on our chat and we can further discuss the things we mentioned or brainstorm other ideas. We hope to hear from you soon!