help me, help a friend

[Guest]

Hi

I live in IL. About a month ago when walking home from a friends house i met this homless boy named Trevor outside the corner store. I'm not sure its his real name. He asked me if I could give him some money to get food. I don't usually do this, but i did anyways. So me and him started talking. I would see him around often every now and then, and give him money if i had any and we would talk about stuff. He says hes 12 years old and hes been living on the streets for a while. He would move around from different parts of the city. His dad ran off when he was a baby and his mom OD about a year ago. He has been in and out of foster homes. The last one he was at they would always beat him for no good reason. So he ranaway. He told me he'll never trust another adult again and doesn't want to be back to another home. He would rather live on the streets. I want to help Trevor but i dont know how. There's good information on the internet, but its alot and i get confused. I'm starting to see less and less of Trevor around my neighborhood. I'm just afraid that he'll dissappear before i can help him.

Thanks Penny

[ccsmod6]

Re: help me, help a friend

Hi Penny

Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard. It sounds like you really care about Trevor and want the best for him. He is so lucky to have someone in his life that is willing to help him out like this. From what you wrote, it seems like there have been a lot of people who haven’t had his best interest in mind and have mistreated him. He definitely does not deserve to be hit and we are sorry to hear that his foster home wasn’t a safe place for him. After such a scary and dangerous situation, it is understandable why he might think living on the streets is a better option that going to another foster home.

On the other hand, it also sounds like you are worried about his safety on the streets. Sometimes living on the streets can be unsafe and it sounds like your friend Trevor might be having a hard time getting enough food to eat. Do you know how he is surviving? Or where he sleeps at night? Has he ever been to a shelter or gone to a drop in center? There are community resources in your area that might be able to help Trevor out, but because he is a minor they would most likely have to contact his legal guardian. In this case, since he was staying in a foster home, it sounds like his legal guardian is a caseworker. Has Trevor been in contact with his caseworker since he ran away from home? What does he think might happen if he called him or her? While, as we said before, we could understand why Trevor might not want to contact his caseworker, his caseworker might also be able help him.

If Trevor is looking to get hooked up with some community resources he can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY anytime. We are here 24/7 and we are anonymous and confidential. We could try and find him a safe place to sleep, a safe place to go for the day, or other services for his basic needs (food, clothes, etc.,). We could also help him, if he wanted, get in contact with his caseworker through a conference call where we could be on the line acting as an advocate. Another number that might be helpful to him is the Comprehensive Community Based Youth Services (CCBYS) hotline. Their number is 1-888-816-2364. CCBYS provides crisis assistance to youth who have run away from home or have been kicked out of their house. They help youth between the ages of 11-17 and would most likely be able to coordinate services for Trevor. But, keep in mind these services are not anonymous and they are through the Illinois Department of Human Services so they would have to contact his caseworker. If Trevor does not want to call them himself, we could also help him contact CCBYS.

There are many different options for Trevor and in the end he must choose what he wants to do. You wrote that you want to help Trevor, but you aren’t sure what to do. What would you like to do? One option is to talk with him about his situation and what his plans are. Would you feel comfortable initiating this sort of conversation? If not, please feel free to share our number with him. We are nonjudgmental and nondirective so we will not tell Trevor what to do. Rather, we can talk with him about the pros and cons of different choices and help him come up with a plan that he feels comfortable with. Regardless of what he wants, we are here for him.

Best of luck,
NRS

[Guest]

Re: help me, help a friend

Hi

Thanks for replying back. I haven't seen Trevor in 2 weeks. I hope hes okay. I asked him once where he sleeps. He told me he sleeps almost anywhere he thinks it safer. Like under stairs or a parking garage. But he tries to look for unlocked garages and unlocked apartment basements to stay in. Sometime he find clothes and other things to use. He would sneak in at night at and try leave early before the sun is up because he doesn't want to get cought. Sometimes he would give himself a bath in one of those large sinks. He said to get food he would steal from stores or beg for money or go into a mcdonalds and takes peoples food when they are not looking. Like when people go and get a refill or something and leave their food. I think Trevor trusts me since we've been talking for over a month. I was thinking we could both go one of those drop in center you said. I think he would feel more comfortable if i were there with him. Where can i find information about the drop in center? Is there one in my area?

Thanks Penny

[ccsmod6]

Re: help me, help a friend

Hi Penny.

Thanks for getting back to us with more information. From all the information he has shared with you about his life, it sounds like he really trusts you. We are glad that he has you to talk to and that you are willing to help him out—everyone needs someone to depend on. This can be a huge responsibility though. Do you mind sharing how old you are? Have you tried telling anyone else such as your guardian/s or another trusted adult about this? If so, how did that go? If not, what has stopped you? We at the National Runaway Switchboard are very worried for Trevor’s safety because it sounds like he is in a really, really tough and scary situation. We are not sure if we can provide all of the help he needs through this bulletin board. If possible, we would really like for Trevor to call us so that we can talk to him more fully about his situation and what he would like to see happen. It can be difficult to discuss everything through a bulletin board and we might be able to help him more effectively if he could call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

That being said, you wrote that you were interested in finding something like a drop in center that the two of you could go to together. In our previous reply, we mentioned Comprehensive Community Based Services (CCBYS - 1-888-816-3264) and how they might help you. Most likely, to get the sort of help you are looking for you would have to go through them. If you do not want to call them on your own, you can call us and we can assist with that. Also, just to remind you, these services are not anonymous and they are through the Illinois Department of Human Services so they would have to contact his caseworker and whoever your legal guardian is. Along the same lines, we cannot promise that they would let you come and go as you please. While usually that is how drop in centers work, because of Trevor’s young age they would most likely want to make sure he had a safe place to stay (i.e. not release him back to the streets). If you would like to call some youth centers directly you could try Beatrice Caffrey Youth Services at 773-624-5087. They are a CCBYS provider and might be able to tell you more information about what they can or cannot do. Similarly, you could also try Chicago Youth Centers at 1-312-795-3500 and Childlink at 1-312-339-5236. If you would like help calling these places, give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we arrange a conference call. But, keep in mind that we can’t guarantee that these places will be able to provide services to you or Trevor. If he calls us, however, we will do our best to find a way for him to get the help he needs.

Good luck,
NRS

[Guest]

Re: help me, help a friend

Hi

I'm 14 years olds, I have an older sister whos 17 but shes a blabber mouth. My parent don't know about Trevor, but if they did they would flip out. My parents told me never to hang around those kids because they are bad influance and i could get into trouble. I just hope i see Trevor again so can talk to him and get him to call you guys. It sounds like its the best i can do for him.

Thanks Penny

[ccsmod6]

Re: help me, help a friend

Penny,

We hope that Trevor is okay too We are glad that you are planning to share our number with him and we are here if you ever need to talk.

Good luck,
NRS