I'm 13, I hate my family and I want to leave.

[ccsmod11]

(If you feel you are in immediate danger for any reason, please call the police or go to your local emergency room.)

Hi there,
Thanks so much for reaching out. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot right now with your whole family and are looking for help with what to do. From what we’re hearing, there has been physical and verbal abuse in the past and the way your parents and brother treat you is causing your mental health to get worse. We would love to hear more about your story and give you more personalized and confidential help, but we’ll do the best we can below. Please feel free to reach out to us directly any time to talk to a real person. The NRS is here 24/7 via online chat or by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929).

Is there anyone in your support network that may be able to help you figure out what to do? It may help to reach out to anyone you can think of, even people in your past, for assistance. This might be a friend, a family member, or a teacher.

It also sounds like you might be thinking about leaving home to get away from it all. Given what you told us, it’s understandable why you might choose this option. This is a very difficult and personal decision and we support you no matter what you choose, but your safety is very important to us. If you do choose to leave, you have a few options you can consider:

1. Going to stay with a trusted friend or family member for a while (more on this below)
2. Finding a youth emergency shelter and staying there until you can figure out next steps

If you do choose to leave, we ask that you reach out to us via online chat or by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-880-9860) to get personalized and confidential help and to make a plan that will keep you safe and maximize your success.

If you do choose to stay with a friend or family member, here are some legal things to consider:

If you do choose to leave home without your parents’ permission, they could choose to file a runaway report with the police. The police will then find you and bring you home. Although you wouldn’t get in any trouble with the law, there is a possibility that any person you are staying with could be charged with harboring a runaway, which is a criminal charge. This issue goes away once you turn 18, since in most states you will be considered an adult.

The way to get around this would be to get written permission from your parents (an email, text, note, etc) stating that you can stay at your chosen place. That way if they decide to press charges, you have proof that they gave you permission.

If you feel safe to do so, we would encourage you to talk to your brother about how you’re feeling and tell him how his words are affecting your happiness. You may be able to get a better understanding of why he says the things he does and make him aware of how they are negatively affecting you.

We also want to stress how important self-care is during this time. Please reach out to your trusted support network for guidance and a listening ear, and practice hobbies that relax you. Maybe this is writing or watching a favorite TV show. Taking care of your mind and body will help you be better prepared to face your situation.

We would love to hear more about your story and give you more personalized and confidential help. Please feel free to reach out to us directly any time to talk to a real person. The NRS is here 24/7 via online chat or by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929).

Good luck!
NRS

Hey, I'm 13 too and I need to help my mom is mean to me and my dad is something dumb. I always get into fights with my little brother but she always thinks it's me because I'm older but the little brat started. I don't wanna leave my pets because those are the only thing I care and I don't have money just some quarters in my wallet. I wanna leave because my whole family and siblings are Jehovah's Witnesses and I don't wanna I want to live my life. My mom hates me yesterday Sunday, may 7 she told me not to go in the kitchen cause my big brother is taking a test but I did and I didn't make a noise but when I came up she was mad at me and my dad and thats why I don't want to be adopted when I was little. When I was little my mom hated me and my dad but worst my mom always hit me with her hand, belt, stick, shoe, and hot sauce in my mouth. and when I was 4 or 5 she put me in the shower water on me with my clothes and I was young. I don't know what to do please help me if anybody is there. I wish I knew my own parents but they abandon me when I was little and now I'm with these Jehovah's Witnesses and its boring. Please help me I just wanna kill myself.

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

Thanks so much for reaching out to us. We are so sorry that things at home with your mom have been so contentious. It sounds like the interactions between you and your mom have been really troubling, and it makes it hard for you to want to stay. We cannot tell you what to do, but we can share some options you might have to address your situation.

It sounds like the way your mom expresses herself to you has been pretty hurtful, and the way that she behaves makes it difficult for you to understand whether she is actually doing well economically or not. If you have not attempted it yet, it may be a good idea to approach your mom during a time that you know she will be available to talk, so that you can discuss items like how the way she expresses herself affects your self esteem, your confusion about whether your family is doing ok financially, and your observations about your uncle. This may also be a good time to discuss the fact fact that you feel like living with her might not be the best place for you. If you do not feel that you can have this conversation with your mom alone, it may help to see if there is a trusted adult that can accompany you to have this conversation with your mom. If you feel there is someone else that might be able to provide you with a safe place to live, it may help to have this adult with you as you discuss potentially living somewhere else. It sounds like you are considered a minor in your state, which is why you were returned home when you tried to leave. We are not legal experts, but from what we understand, this is how police generally respond to runaway reports, and they will continue to respond this way if you leave again. Because you are considered a minor, you need the consent of a parent or legal guardian to live or stay anywhere else, and this is why having a conversation with your mom and the adult you feel is best equipped to house you, might help. If you have questions, or just want to talk about your situation, please give us a call or send us a chat.

We can't tell you what to do, but we will do our best to help you stay safe as you figure out your next steps. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). We are here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!

-NRS

I HATE BEING 13

I don’t like my mom . She’s so annoying , she yells at me makes me feel like I’m fat and then she asks me why I’m so insecure and then she talks about how I hate her and I don’t , I love my mom more than anything and every time I get in trouble she says I sacrifice so much for you . She always says that . like I don’t ********ING CARE I didn’t ask to be put in this ********ing world you just put me in here and now you complain about everything. When I wanna go have fun with my dad side the family she has an issue and then make me stay home and do nothing . She always goes out and have a good time and then when me and my little sister see that even after she complains about not having any money . We would want to go with her too but Noooo she doesn’t have time. She has to study or whatever . But then she’s mad at me that I want to talk to stuff about with my grandma. She’s the same one that ask my grandma for money and then she turns around and talk about her like it makes me so mad hearing people talk about my grandmother because I love her so much . Especially my ********ing free loader ass uncle like what he can barley pay bills and then turns around and make my momma pay ******** for him . When my mom was here and struggling I didn’t see you do ******** to help her when you was down in Jamaica but now he here he wanna act like a ********ing saint . I honestly think my mom is too nice . I love my mom but it’s just like she’s to toxic and I wanna leave , I don’t wanna live here . But I’m 13 and I already tried to leave but the police brought me back home anyway. I just can’t wait 5 years to graduate high school. I wanna leave right ********ing now . 2023 is not my ********ing year .

[ccsmod3]

Hi, thank you for reaching out. It sounds like home is a stressful place right now and you are wanting to get out and somewhere better for you. That is not okay that your mom is threatening to hit you and that her boyfriend is not trying to help you in any way. You should never have to go to bed starving and it sounds like mom needs to do better about making sure there is food for everyone. That also sounds stressful with your sister and that you are the one who gets in trouble whenever there is a fight. It sounds like you are wanting to go to dad, but he might be having some struggles as well. We are here to help as best as we can, so if you would like to talk more about what’s going on or some options, please either call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

I hate my family. I live with my mom, her boyfriend (not step-father), sister, and brother. My mom is constantly threatening to hit me and my mom's boyfriend doesn't do anything about it. As for my brother. He's 19, autistic, and living in my mom's basement. He eats all of our food, and I am not exaggerating. I have to go to bed practically starving myself because he ate the very last crumb. My sister and I don't have the best relationship. Whenever we get into fights, my mom always yells at me. Just me. I feel like nobody in my house actually sees me as a family member here. I would like to live with my dad, but he isn't doing so well right now.

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

Thanks ever so much for reaching out to us. We are so sorry that the situation at home with your parents has been so difficult. It sounds like the way your parents behave really makes it tough for you to want to continue staying with them, and you are looking for options that might feel safer to you. Although we cannot tell you what to do, we can share options that might be available to you.

Where you can go really depends on what you might be comfortable with. If you think your parents might consent, it may help to take a day or two and spend the night with a trusted friend or family member. Depending on how long you would want to be away from your parents, a shelter or transitional housing might be a good option for you. It may also help to talk to someone like your school psychologist or school social worker about how you've been feeling.

We aren't legal experts, but from what we understand, if you are considered a minor in your state, your parents/legal gaurdians have to give consent for you to be able to stay somewhere that isn't home. If you leave without their consent, they can file a runaway report with your local police department. Typically, that means that if local police find out where you are, they will pick you up and bring you back home, or have your parents pick you. To get more specifics on how your local police department handles runaway reports, it might help to reach out to them at their non-emergency number. If you need help getting their contact information, or if you just want to talk to someone, we are available by phone or chat to hear you out.

Whatever you decide, know that we are here to support you. We cannot tell you what to do, but we will do our best to help you stay safe as you explore your next steps. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

We are here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!
-NRS

life sucks. I want to run away. where should i go? my parents constantly are mean to me and make me feel terribal about myself. i feel like crying constantly, and im going to join the navy as soon as i turn 17. Where should i go? I need help. I dont have any friends.

[ccsmod3]

Hi there, thank you for reaching out. It does not sound like your parents are treating you fairly and you deserve to be treated fairly. It also sounds like you have thought about running away before when you were in second grade and are considering it again. Running away can be very dangerous and we care about your safety and want to help as best as we can. If you would like to talk more about what’s going on or possible options to help, please call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

Hi I’m 12 and I don’t know if I should run away.my parents make me feel awful about myself and they favor my younger sister who is evil.my parents act like they deserve respect and my love but they don’t I don’t know if I’m over reacting but I wanted to run away in second grade and almost did but I didn’t and I lost it today should I run away for confess to my parents?
-cora

[ccsmod10]

First off, we are very thankful that you contacted us because it sounds like you've been in an extremely difficult situation for a long time. It seems like your parents have really restricted your access to the outside world and limited your ability to communicate with your friends. Religion and spirituality are able to be very positive things for some people, but it sounds like in this case your family has forced you to participate in a religious practice you don't want to be a part of. This can feel stifling, and can lead someone to feel like their desires/needs don't matter (when they do!).

From how you described your interactions with your mom and dad, it seems like they have been very judgmental of you in the past, and you're afraid it would be even worse if you were honest about your sexuality, or about leaving the religion. That is a completely valid fear. It is up to you whether or not you choose to share your authentic self with them. Regardless of what you choose, you deserve to have a place/community where you feel you can truly be yourself without judgment.

Running away is an option, but it can be very challenging. If you were to do so, it can be beneficial to plan out how you will fund your travels, where you will stay and how you will pay for your living expenses. Your parents would also be able to file a runaway or missing child report, which might cause police to investigate where you were and try to return home. Considering how you would handle this could also be beneficial before you left.

Whatever you decide to do, we are here to help every step of the way. We can talk more about making life at home tolerable, creating a plan if you need to leave, or anything else. You can text chat us at 1800runaway.org if you'd like to talk one-on-one with someone from our team.

Take care,
NRS

I'm 12 I'm in a religious cult that I want to leave. (Jehovah's Witnesses AKA, A CULT!!)

It all started when I was born. I loved the religion and everything, had great friends, made some at school too. That is until I started getting older. I started being sneakier. I have strict parents of course but they were strict religion wise. I'm always pressured to do things in the religion. Pressured to put "god" and other things first rather than college and education. They also put me in an online school, so I lost all my friends. (K12) I'm failing my new school. I was doing great in my old one. Straight A's and everything. I want to run away so bad because of school and this religion and my parents. My mom yells at me whenever I try to talk to her and puts me down saying im too skinny and I look anorexic. My dad judges everything I do and he's one of the minsters from the cult so I can't talk to him about anything. They hate my friends too. I'm not allowed to hang out with school friends unless they are involved in the cult. I hate this. I hate my life. I hate everything. I hate how I'm living. Another thing, if I were to tell my parents I wanted to leave the religion, they would shun me for the rest of my life. My friends and family and everyone I know would hate me. And another thing, I found out I'm Omnisexual (basically bi sexual) and I know if I told them, they would hate me. Everything I do reflects on them and I'm pressured to be the perfect daughter. My plan was to run away with my friend Emma. But I haven't heard much of her lately. I found a bus terminal around the block from my house and when my parents leave to go somewhere, that's when I'll leave. My plan is to go to New York and stay there till I'm an adult then I'll get plane tickets to leave the country since I'm bilingual. But in the meantime, what should I do? I want to run away and it was definitely my last choice but please help.

[ccsmod10]

Hi, we're glad you reached out to us for help. It sounds like things at home haven't felt good for a long time, and you are looking for a way to change things.

We are here to help as best we can, whether it means providing someone to listen and make you a priority, or talking through steps to make changes.

If you can, live chat us at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can talk through specifics of your situation.

You deserve to feel happy and secure. You don't have to figure this out on your own.

I'm a 10 year old girl and I've kinda hated my family since... well I was maybe 7

[ccsmod16]

Hi,
Thanks for reaching out. We will respond with the same thing for both of your posts.
It sounds like things are really stressful for you at home with your mom being an emotional wreck and your brother saying awful things to you while pretending to be a baby around your mother. It sounds like you do have a group of friends at school, and we are glad to hear about that.
You mentioned wanting to leave, which is understandable and we can talk about this, but we would want to have a conversation with you about this. Please reach out to our live services. You can call us at 1-800-786-2929 or you can chat us through this website. Both services are available 24/7 and we truly hope to hear from you soon so that we can help you determine what your options might be.
Sincerely,
NRS