Hey there,
Thanks for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like things are tense between you and your dad, and it’s understandable you’d be feeling trapped and looking for a way out of that environment.
One resource that might be helpful is a free or low-cost legal aid clinic. This would give you or your mom access to an attorney who can advise on the custody situation. If you give NRS a call at 1-800-786-2929, we can help you find legal aid resources in your area.
Another idea would be to ask another adult, like a counselor or other family member, to help you talk to your dad about how you’ve been feeling, and how to make things less tense for you at home. At NRS, we can help you find counselors or therapists in your area, and we also offer a parent conference call service in which one of our trained volunteers mediates a conversation between a youth and their parents to make sure everyone stays respectful and you have a chance to be heard. We help find areas where parents and youth can compromise (like on house rules) and come to an agreement. If you’d like to learn more, feel free to give us a call.
We’re not legal experts, but in general, if you’re under 18 and leave home without your parent or guardian’s permission, they can report you as a runaway to police and that gives the police the right to find you and bring you home. If you do decide to run away, the most important thing is having a safety plan. We hear from many youth who find themselves in really dangerous or scary situations after leaving home.
If you’d like to call or chat us, we are happy to talk through some of those potential risks and brainstorm some possible options. It shows a lot of maturity that you are reaching out for help before making your next move. We are here for you any time.
Best,
NRS
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I'm 13, I hate my family and I want to leave.
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Guest repliedhey im 13 years old and i dont know what to do
around 4 months ago i moved in with my dad for some bad grades and it was ehh for the first week or so but we got into arguments constantly. I want to go back to my mom because i believe i can get better grades but i only see her 4 to 6 days a month. But i cant leave because my dad said its "not my choice". so i dont know what to do? do i just run away or do i go to court which my mom doesnt really have the money for an attourney. Please help me and give some advice on what to do
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Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing a bit about your situation with us. It sounds like there is a lot that you are faced with at home right now and it's been getting overwhelming. It can be incredibly difficult when the adults in our lives are not supportive or do not make us feel safe, so it is understandable you would want space from them. We want you to know that you are not alone in this and we are here to listen and help as much as possible. Reaching out was a really good first step to getting the support that you deserve.
You mentioned that you are wanting to leave home. The easiest way to leave home is with your parents permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Child Help is a resource that advocates for youth in dangerous or unsafe situations and they can tell you more about how CPS might be able to help. You can contact them by phone at 1-800-422-4453 or through live chat at www.childhelp.org.
Often having a safe space to explore how you are feeling can bring about solutions not previously thought of. We are available for immediate support 24/7 by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY or through live chat at 1800runaway.org. We can talk more in detail about your situation, explore all of your possible options, and come up with a plan that you feel comfortable with.
We hope to hear from you soon,
NRS
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Guest repliedim 13 and dont want to live with my mom no more i want to be free long as i have my phone right now i really wanna be alone or not with my bs family
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. It seems like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. It can be incredibly difficult to speak about being harmed at home, especially if you are worried you won't be believed or that you would be hurting your parent's reputation. We want you to know that you deserve to be helped and there is nothing wrong with asking for help when you don't feel safe. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to child protective services. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS
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Guest repliedI hate my life so much I can’t deal with it I get hurt for doing nothing I just sit there but I can’t do anything about cause my dads reputation as a pastor who cares for his children will be ruined I am 13 and I’m going to kill my self before they get to kill me
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Hello There,
Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you and your friend are going through a difficult situation, we want you to know you are not alone.
We are not experts on how enrollment works, but most schools do require a legal guardian’s permission to enroll. You could consider talking to a school counselor to see what your options are. It is great that you both want to finish school, shows that you both are motivated.
We know that you mentioned you and your friend having suicidal thoughts, we are glad you both are here today to share your story. By sharing on this forum post, you are helping others who may be in similar situations. If you or your friend need support or are feeling suicidal please reach out to The National Suicide Prevention Hotline at: 1800-273-8255. There is always someone willing to provide support and always someone willing to listen.
We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are available 24/7. We wish you both the best of luck!
NRS
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Guest repliedHi I am 12 and me and my friend are planning on running from home due to living in unstable environments. We are wondering if we could enroll in school without guardians. We both have never liked home and my family is going through alot. I really want to finish school and im not planning on ever coming back home. I also habe suicidal thoughts but no pressure to do it my friend does though. we just want to finish school for the most part and find a place to stay
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Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway, it takes great courage to reach out and we are so glad that you have decided to reach out. It sounds like you are a really strong person for having to deal with all of that trauma.
We know you mentioned abuse and you and your sibling do not deserve that and we are sorry you have had to deal with that. Even yelling and threatening you can be seen as emotional abuse. It was super brave of you for contacting the police, we are glad to hear that you tried to protect yourself. You can also file an abuse report by calling Child Help at 1800-422-4453. You can also contact us by chat or phone 24/7 and we would be happy to help with filing an abuse report.
We know you mentioned that you feel like a horrible person and feel guilty for thinking bad things about your mom, it is understandable to feel upset. You are not a horrible person for thinking these things, you have been through a lot in your life. We are glad that you are here today to share your story, and you are helping others who may be in similar situations. If you are ever feeling suicidal or just need someone to talk to please reach out to The National Suicide Prevention Hotline at: 1800-273-8255. They are available 24/7 to support you in whatever you need.
We hope this information will be able to help you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are available 24/7. We wish you the best of luck!
Stay strong
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Hello There,
Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, it takes great courage to reach out and we are so glad that you have decided to reach out to us!
We are sorry to hear that you are having issues with your mother, you and your sibling do not deserve to be treated poorly. One option to consider is trying to talk to your mom about the way she treats you and how it is affecting you and your sibling. Another option could be to have you dad speak to her and see if that changes anything.
You can also try some ways to cope such as journaling your feelings, or taking deep breaths. If you would like to explore options or need to talk more about this please give us a call or chat with us. We are available to you 24/7. We wish you the best of luck!
NRS
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Guest replied14 and I wanna leave my family
I hate my life and my family. I used to get hit as a kid but I thought was normal to make it even worse my mom after hitting me would tell me it was my fault I got hit. I used to get hit with chargers which imprint scars that last for a long time. My siblings get hit too. When I was about 11 I was a good girl but my brother wasn't and so my mom would tie up my brother and hit him with a charger and then live him in the basement in the dark. I also tried running away before but I got caught. I also tried to call the police on them but my parents hid me when the police came to the neighborhood. I get scared by my mom. I don't know if she's good. I feel unsafe with her. I know she's a nice mother but she's really scary and controlling. She doesn't hit me anymore but she calls me names and stuff. I got so mad at her one day I tried to kill her. Yeah, I'm a terrible daughter. I hate myself. Anyways I grew up in Somalia and kids used to get hit in school and so of course I thought getting hit was normal. I know this was long ago but my parents would be hitting e today if I wasn't so big and strong. When I say strong I mean I stand up for myself. But sometimes it becomes hard with my guilt-tripping me. She cries and my siblings would get mad at me when she cries and blames it on me. I remember one day when I told my friend I called the police on my mom they were Somalian so I'm sure they got hit too and so they were disgusted by me. I don't get hit anymore but my mom threatens me like she would get a mop and try to scare me when I do something bad. I just wanna leave this family or die. I hate myself. I'm a terrible person to still have feelings of my past hittings. My siblings get hit but not me not since I called the police. It's just been a few hits and stuff and not the charger or the terrible hitting that make my body hurt. I can't really remember my hits but I know I can't remember it because it happened often or maybe it's because of my terrible memory. I have a good life but I just don't feel safe. In the summer my family and I will go on a vacation and I'm scared I'll be abandoned there. If I'm missing it's probably I runaway during vacation. I just feel like if I leave this family I'll be free. My life is just a loop inside a torture house. My siblings get hit and I think that's why I wanna leave because I don't wanna see them get hit. Just kill me already and let me be reincarnated in a new life.
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Guest repliedI'm 15 i hate my mom i really want to leave my home.
My mom is SO RUDE she does not do drugs or any bad stuff she is just REALLY RUDE AND YELLS at me and my older sister. Its HORRIBLE living here with my mom, luckily my dad is nice and calm unllke my HORRIBE MOTHER. ShE IS THE WORST. And I can't deal with her anymore its just COMPLETELY HORRIBLE.
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe and stay strong,
NRS
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Guest repliedI'm 13- and I feel like my life is a burden
Before I say this I want to specify this is not to complain about my problems. I am grateful for what I have, I have a roof over my head, I have food and water, and a place to sleep. I wrote this as a last resort for advice on my mental health.
I've never really had a good relationship with my family, my brother is physically and mentally abusive, my mother abuses her power as a parent and gives me no privacy, and my dad is at work 99% of the time. So, most of the time I just sit alone in my room. I have been diagnosed with depression before, and I've tried to talk to people, but I always get, "your not depressed, your just dramatic, stop acting dumb", I never feel like someones there for me. I build up others and help them with their problems, but why is no one ever there for me? I have run away before, my depression got so bad. I was so tired of living with my family. They were toxic to my mental health. Although it didn't last long, my mom found me. She didn't really care why I ran away, she just cussed me out for it. They ask me why I never leave my room, but why leave when all you do is tell me how awful I am and what I need to fix, or do this do that?
I have no friends to turn to, they've all faded away after elementary. I feel so alone, like i'm drowning and the water is everyone around me. I feel like I have no purpose, I try to trust in god that he'll get me out and show me my purpose. But, sometimes even when you know the truth, it's blurred by what your seeing in the present moment. I try not to focus too much on, "some day it'll get better", because if you focus too much on the future or past you can only make your situation worse. The most important time is now, which is why I need help. I've contemplated suicide before, every day I'm sad, I feel worthless, I want to die... but, I keep going. The only reason why I keep going is because I try to remember that every day god wakes you up, is a day of purpose that you should never take for granted.
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. You deserve to feel loved and supported at home. We are glad school is a place you feel safe and are happy there. It seems like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe and stay strong,
NRS
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