I'm 13, I hate my family and I want to leave.

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to us. We are so sorry that things at home with your mom have been so difficult. It is never ok for anyone to be abusive or make threats of harming you. You deserve to live in a space where you feel safe, supported, and with someone that can be responsible in taking care of you. It is really responsible of you to want to discuss your options, and it is understandable that you would want to identify a safe place to live.

We are not legal experts, but from what we understand, although it is not technically illegal for you to run away, it is considered a status offense in some states. If you leave without the consent of your parent/legal guardian, they can file a runaway report with your local police department. If local police search for you and locate you, they typically return youth to their parent/legal guardian. We are unsure of what steps would be taken given that you have an open DCS case, but it may help if you share with DCS as much as you are comfortable sharing about what has been going on and whether you are currently in or out of town. If you know how to reach your DCS caseworker, they may be the best person to contact with any information you would like to share.

In your message, you asked what would happen if you were to seek a legal identification at the age of 18. That would depend on your state. In most places, a runaway report is no longer pursued once a youth is of legal age. In some places, you may need to reach out to your local police department to let them know you are of legal age. If you would like help identifying resources that may help you, or if you just want someone to talk to, please reach out to us by phone or chat.

Whatever you decide, know that we are here to support you. We cannot tell you what to do, but we will do our best to help you stay as safe as possible as you explore your next steps. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). We are here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!

-NRS

Im 13, what would happen if i ran away to a different state and came out when i turned 18 to get an id and everything..would i get arrested? My mom is very abusive.. she smokes weed around my brother and i and lets us smoke, she has anger issues and threatends to kill me.. shes unstable doesnt have a job no home or anything.. im living in a 2 bedroom with 8 other people, I feel trapped, we have an open dcs case and she keeps lying to them telling them we are out of town. I really want to go to dcs and find a better place to be, but im really scared to.. its either that or i run away..

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

I’m only 12 and yet i feel like an adult

In the pass 2 days iIve had a pretty rough weekend. Ive had the thought of running away from home since i was 7. My family is somewhat abusive. They have called the cops on me 4 times in my life, the most recent one being 3 days ago. Everytime, i managed to get on their nerves, only because I rephrased what they say to me every time they wonder why i don't do sum. I was forced to drink the blood from my nose when my “father” punched it. And then they threw me in my empty room, (which they ad cleaned out) and they left me in the dark. I wanted to run, but i can’t escape from the window because it is pretty high up, and i wanted to be on the bottom. They complain about me, just hiding in my room, never coming out to hand out with them, and me talking to my friends. Ive told them that every time i come out that we always have a fight, or a screaming match, and I’m the one who loses. My brother is already on their side, only because they told him i lied to a cop. I wanna run away to my friends house but i cant run when they are always at the front of my school waiting for me to come out, and they don't even leave me alone at my house, but yet they wonder why I don’t hang out with them, and yet they always think it’s fine that i cry in my room with my anxiety, and my depression. I want ot run away, but idk how, is it legal to and if so what would be the best way to do it unnoticed?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand that it takes great courage to reach out and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s been going on. Everyone deserves to have their identity respected, and it sounds like the lack of respect for your identity and feelings are making it difficult to live at home with your family.

As you continue to think about the possibility of running away, we would encourage you to reach out to us through our chat or hotline so that we can further discuss your situation in detail. There are many potential challenges that can come with deciding to run away, and we can discuss some of these potential challenges with you so that you have all the information you might need in order to make the decision if running away is the best option for you. If you do decide that running away is the best option for you in your situation, we might be able to help connect you with resources or shelters closest to you in your area. If you decide that running away might not actually be the best option for you right now, we can also try and figure out together some ways to possibly make staying at home more bearable.

We are here as support to help through this challenging time. Please feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us at www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you are ever at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

Be safe,
NRS

I'm 13 years old and I really don't want to be around my "family"

lately, I've been thinking about running away. I constantly feel like I'm not being heard and my parents have no respect for my identity. I've tried to talk to them, but they always have a way of twisting the story around to make it seem like my feelings are false, or I'm just always wrong. my friends are constantly leaving me to go hang out with someone else and they basically ignore me. I'm tired of being treated this way and I feel like I would be better off in an orphanage or something. the problem is, I live in a small town in the middle of nowhere, the closest city is an hour drive from my house. I really want to run away but I don't know how...

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

My parents are sending me to military school and selling all my stuff



Please help me I'm 12 and I did something bad. My parents are selling all my mobile stuff and sending me too military school. I know that these are old but someone please help me. I know what is gonna happen to me is nothing compared to others but I would have a place to sleep at.

[ccsmod15]

Thanks so much for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like you're feeling really unhappy at home, and it's understandable you'd want to leave an environment that feels toxic.

Generally speaking, if you are under 18 and leave home without your parent or guardian's permission, they can report you to the police as a runaway. This gives the police the right to find you and bring you home. There can potentially be consequences for any adults (people 18 and over) you stay with. These are just potential risks to keep in mind. If you do decide to leave, it's also important to create a safety plan so you can avoid violence and other risks.

At NRS, we are here 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929 if you'd like to give us a call to talk more about your situation. We would be happy to brainstorm some other options and help find resources and support in your area, like counseling services.

Im turning 13 in January. My family is toxic and I hate them all. I cry a lot in this household. I wish I could run away from them but I don't have the balls to do it.

[ccsmod15]

Hello! Thanks for reaching out to the NRS. We're sorry to hear that you're being treated poorly at home, and you deserve to be somewhere that makes you feel wanted and safe.



It's good that you have recognized a problem and are seeking out a doctor and potentially a therapist. They can give you professional evaluations of both your physical and mental health. From there, you can discuss with them avenues for getting yourself into a better place. That said, you mentioned that you have been having suicidal thoughts, and we take that very seriously at the NRS. If you continue to feel overwhelmed in this way, you should call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255. Additionally, if you feel like you are going through your mental health issues alone, a great resource is NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. They have great support groups there with people going through similar issues at https://www.nami.org/Support-Education/Support-Groups.



You also mentioned that are dealing with malnutrition, and if the issue is that there is not enough food at home, Feeding America is a great place to search for Food Banks near you. The link for the area search is here: feedingamerica.org/find-your-local-foodbank.



If you have more questions or just want to talk about your family situation more with one of our representatives, feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us at 1800runaway.org.

Please help me, I’m so skinny I want to move away from this family and never come back I’m dealing with malnutrition and feel unloved. I am 16 I want to get a job but I have crippling anxiety and always mess everything up, I have an attention span of a 5 year old I am messed up I get distracted easily and today I woke up really weak and dehydrated, this has been going on for 3-4 years, I have smoked weed for a long time and strong stuff, it has really messed my head up I have stopped smoking but I still need help because the damage has already been done, my mom is a narcissist, my step dad doesn’t work and my mom treats him like a king, we live off my little brother SSI , my sister uses me and pretends to care, I’ve lost a lot of friends due to how I have changed and think now, I’ve asked for help, people have reached out, I feel stressed and have thoughts of suicide, tomorrow I’m going to get checked at the doctors to see if there’s something wrong with me and I hope they help me by giving me a therapist and helping me eat, my mom hates to cook and I am always nice and respectful to her but I can’t deal with her she Doesn’t care about me I feel very skinny and they have seen it but have left me like this and has been going on for years I have barely noticed because my little cousin who actually cared asked me what was wrong with me and that’s when I realized, I just hope I get the help I need and a new family far away from them fake asses

[ccsmod5]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like things at home have been pretty overwhelming lately; and like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
You also mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.


Take care,
NRS

I hate my family. I don’t even consider them family anymore I just know them as the people I live with. I just need to go I need to get out but I don’t know what to do. My so called “mom” has shown evidence that she doesn’t like me and my “dad” has never even had time with me. I want to go. They would never support me in my decisions. My brother has laid his hands on me many times before and recently did almost leaving me blind because I couldn’t see and I felt numb to pain until I started to cry. I have so much hate for him…I could’ve killed him that night if it wasn’t for my stupid “mom” that stopped me. I just need to go I want another family I want a new one. The biggest reason why I’ve had a few suicide attempts is because of my “mother”. I can’t take it anymore if someone doesn’t help me soon I will no longer take it and I will kill myself. if someone can help me…please. Help me. Get me out of here…please I beg of you. Help me.

[ccsmod15]

Hello, and thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We’re a 24/7, confidential hotline, and we’re here to help. It sounds like you’re going through a really tough time at home with your family, and that it’s hard on you. It makes sense that you’re feeling hurt and depressed, and it’s a good thing that you’re reaching out for support.

We're sorry that your parents are being unsupportive of you at home and blaming you for your brothers’ actions, and that when you’re not at home you face bullying online and at school. You deserve to feel safe and understood at home, and you also deserve to feel safe at school. No one should have to go through what you are facing right now, and it makes a lot of sense that it’s upsetting you. We're sorry to hear you’ve been having suicidal thoughts, that must be tough to be dealing with, but you don’t have to go through this alone. There is always someone available to talk to you about how you’ve been feeling, who is ready to listen and offer you support. You can chat or call us any time at 1-800-RUNAWAY, and additionally, the National Suicide Prevention Line is always available, any time, at 1-800-273-8255. You can also check out their website for more resources, https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org if you’re ever having those thoughts in the future.

It makes sense that you’re looking for a way out, when being at home is making you feel so depressed. And it’s a very good thing that you’re looking for ways to take care of yourself and asking the right questions about how to get help. If you’re thinking about running away, you might consider giving us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY to talk through the safety of your plan and what options are available to you. You might also want to talk to your family where you’d be going to see if they have any advice or guidance for you. Additionally, if you think you’d like to talk to your parents about how they’ve been making you feel, we at NRS can help you plan that conversation and help mediate it if you want.

You deserve to feel safe and happy in your home, even if that isn’t how you feel right now, and you don’t have to go through this alone. Good luck!