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I'm 13, I hate my family and I want to leave.

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  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I am not feeling happy im being compared to i cant wear certain things im being forced to do things and still has no rights in the house i dont feel i belong there i wanna leave as soon as possible

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now.  We are so sorry to hear that you have experienced sexual violence. You do not deserve to have this happen to you, and you deserve to be believed and supported. One really great resource for all survivors of sexual assault or abuse is RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network). You can call them any time 24/7 at 1-800-656-4673, or go to www.rainn.org to use their online hotline. RAINN is the National Sexual Assault Hotline and has a lot of services, support and resources that you may find helpful. You can also call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you need to talk. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

    You mentioned wanting to live with your grandma instead which is understandable if you do not feel safe or supported at home. A helpful start may be to speak with your grandma about this. Maybe she can help you communicate how you are feeling to your mom and advocate for your needs. Another option would be to go through child protective services if your safety is a concern. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation.

    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    We hope to hear from you soon,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    im 14 and me and my mom arent close she makes everything into an argument. everything was a-okay up until i turned 11 to come out and told her that i was sexually assaulted by my bio dad. she started treating me so differently than my brother than tries to guilt trip me by crying. i cant do this anymore and wanna live with my gma but i just know neither my step dad or mom wont allow me to. please help.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    We are glad you reached out to us for help. It sounds very stressful in your house and it makes sense that you are feeling isolated and trapped. It can be very depressing and lonely to be in a family situation that is so controlling and emotionally oppressive.

    It sounds like you are comfortable with your sexual identity and that the issue is more of having control and say in how and when that is discussed. It makes perfect sense that you want to be the one who determines how and under what circumstances your personal issues are discussed.

    We know that at 13 it might not seem like you have many options or actions you can take to impact your parent’s “parenting”. There are resources for you who can help you find some coping mechanisms, develop plans to get different results with your parents and support you as you navigate these difficult and stressful times. We would like to discuss those with you.

    You can reach out to us for a chat through our website or call us on our crisis hotline at (800) RUNAWAY. Both are available 24/7 and are completely confidential. Once we get some more details, we will help you develop a plan to deal with your home life and family situation. We will also help you access resources available in your community to support you.

    We hope to hear from you soon. Good luck.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    My parents are very toxic in my opinion. For some time I thought my parents were just strict because they bought me stuff I wanted and took us places but soon after research I found out they are very toxic. They are very disrespectful to me and my siblings talking to us and treating us like if we have no freedoms, opinion or choices. They don't beat us or anything but they emotionally abuse us and are also very controlling. They do not allow me a 13 year old male to have any privacy or safe space. I am a gay teen and my mom found out after looking though my phone one morning and seeing my messages with a close friend that I trust. My mom says she is ok but will not allow me to express myself in any way, she has also told a few family members after I asked her not to because "Its her way of dealing with the news". They both are very demanding and will not take the blame for anything and find any way to blame me or my sister. They also will make us do whatever they want us to do and not care about anything we were doing before. They both don't care for explanations and will find any way to make us feel like we aren't doing enough and need to do better. They love calling me and my siblings mocking names and make jokes about us constantly. I feel really sad and depressed when I have to be with them at home because of their constant screaming and arguing at one another or at us. I feel like technology is my only escape and my room is my only place to be somewhat peaceful and calm. They do love limiting our electronic time. The wifi will turn off at 8:30 every day, and the smallest thing they don't like they will punish us by taking our only happy place away from us. EX: Today my mom looked at my grades 2 D's, 3 C's 3 B's and they know I've been struggling with Math and my ELA teacher hasn't graded anything yet but they decided that I will not get my stuff back until my grades go up. They also blame me when something happens to my younger siblings because they aren't paying attention and are watching TikTok or Youtube. What do I do I just feel alone, sad and trapped?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello! Thanks for reaching out to the NRS. We're sorry to hear that you're being treated poorly at home, and you deserve to be somewhere that makes you feel wanted and safe.

    It's good that you had the initiative to decide and reach out to us about safety and legal considerations before taking action. We aren't legal experts here at NRS, but like you said, because you are 14, you are still a minor. It is within your parents' rights to file a missing persons report if you go off the radar, and it is possible that if you stay with another adult that they will be in trouble for harboring you. One way to get around these legal tangles is seeking emancipation. Minors between 14-16, depending on the state, can apply for emancipation which means that you have legal independence from your parents or guardians.

    That said, if you are still committed to running away, there are a number of other considerations you should keep in mind. One is where you will be staying. Will it be with another family member or perhaps a friend? If you don't have a place to go, there are youth homeless shelters we can help you find if you connect with us over call or chat. However, these locations are not usually long-term. When you find a place to go, do you have a reliable means of transporting yourself there? Also, how do you plan on supporting yourself financially once you leave home? In these sorts of situations, it's important to consider all the variables that come witha big decision. One way to best flesh out one of these situations is talking to a tresuted adult or even a friend about what you're feeling and what you are planning to do.

    If you have more questions or just want to talk about your situation more with one of our representatives, feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us at 1800runaway.org.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi,
    I'm 14 years old and I'm about to turn 15 in a little less then a month. My have has always been extremely toxic, I really dont know what to do. I am legally allowed to move out when I'm 18 however I dont see myself living that long. My mom and twin sister says I would be better off gone and my mom told me I am what's wrong with this family. So it seems my only option is to runaway, I know the consequences of doing so but everything seems hopeless. I know we all would be happy if I took a long break from my family. Can you please help me what can I do to runaway and be safe while doing so? thank you very much.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there, thanks for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It sounds like you’re going through a challenging time with your brother, and we’re glad you reached out.
    Unfortunately, we don’t know your city/state in order to provide local resources, but here are a few general options. We can provide more specific resources to you if you can use our ONLINE CHAT SERVICE or call our HOTLINE.

    We offer a Conference Call service if you call us and want help talking to your mum. We stay on the line and help make certain your voice is heard in a calm way. We can help you and your mum understand each other by guiding the call. This can sometimes be a way to open up the lines of communication when families are feeling stuck and could help you feel heard with your mum when it comes to feeling depressed or upset by your brother.

    You mentioned experiencing depression and sometimes talking through emotions and exploring options with a trusted adult can be useful. You might consider talking to a counselor or trusted teacher or school counselor.

    National Safe Place to find safe spaces for youth at https://www.nationalsafeplace.org/find-a-safe-place

    National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress. 1-800-273-8255 or their online chat service at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.

    We are LIMITED in the Number of Times we can respond Via the FORUM so if you’d like further contact, please instead contact us via our ONLINE CHAT SERVICE at www.1800runaway.org (click on the CHAT button) OR our HOTLINE at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929). We are available 24/7. We are here for you and wish you all the best, NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    My brother is making my life absolute hell. He is ruining my life. He is lazy, stupid, rude, and doesn't care about anyone's feelings. When he upsets my mum, I get upset and lash out, which makes it worse. He doesn't understand that his actions have negative consequences or that there are other people in the world apart from him. He has made me depressed, like really depressed. He is the worst human being alive and I want to run away and never see or speak to him again. So in short...he made(and is still making) my life hell.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. You do not deserve to be talked to like that. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
    The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
    It sounds like you are thinking about harming yourself or ending your life. It takes a lot of strength to reach out for help, and we are so glad that you did. Your life has worth and our top priority is your safety. If you feel this is an emergency you could consider calling 911 for emergency assistance. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a good resource for you.  You can check them out at www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time.
    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you would like to look into further emotional support options, you can text with a crisis worker at the National Alliance on Mental Illness 24/7 by texting "NAMI" to 741741.
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Im 11 and i wish i were dead

    I have hated my life since I was just a little kid, I am abused every day for something didn't do all the time. And when we got a baby sister life got a whole lot worse, all anyone ever f****** cared about was my baby sister, and when I FINALLY got attention all I got in response was "do your work, I don't care now shutup, and your weird like nobody is ever going to like you." Like what kind of parents say this to "motivate" their kid. like you say its for my own good, but is having pleasure out of my suffering really my own good? I tried talking to my parents about it but all I get is a pat on the back like they don't care about me wanting to die.ive tried running away but my mom just shrugged and was like ok that's fine with me. What can I do, to stop this s*** because I cant take anymore of this nonsense

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like things are tense between you and your dad, and it’s understandable you’d be feeling trapped and looking for a way out of that environment.

    One resource that might be helpful is a free or low-cost legal aid clinic. This would give you or your mom access to an attorney who can advise on the custody situation. If you give NRS a call at 1-800-786-2929, we can help you find legal aid resources in your area.

    Another idea would be to ask another adult, like a counselor or other family member, to help you talk to your dad about how you’ve been feeling, and how to make things less tense for you at home. At NRS, we can help you find counselors or therapists in your area, and we also offer a parent conference call service in which one of our trained volunteers mediates a conversation between a youth and their parents to make sure everyone stays respectful and you have a chance to be heard. We help find areas where parents and youth can compromise (like on house rules) and come to an agreement. If you’d like to learn more, feel free to give us a call.

    We’re not legal experts, but in general, if you’re under 18 and leave home without your parent or guardian’s permission, they can report you as a runaway to police and that gives the police the right to find you and bring you home. If you do decide to run away, the most important thing is having a safety plan. We hear from many youth who find themselves in really dangerous or scary situations after leaving home.

    If you’d like to call or chat us, we are happy to talk through some of those potential risks and brainstorm some possible options. It shows a lot of maturity that you are reaching out for help before making your next move. We are here for you any time.

    Best,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    hey im 13 years old and i dont know what to do

    around 4 months ago i moved in with my dad for some bad grades and it was ehh for the first week or so but we got into arguments constantly. I want to go back to my mom because i believe i can get better grades but i only see her 4 to 6 days a month. But i cant leave because my dad said its "not my choice". so i dont know what to do? do i just run away or do i go to court which my mom doesnt really have the money for an attourney. Please help me and give some advice on what to do

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing a bit about your situation with us. It sounds like there is a lot that you are faced with at home right now and it's been getting overwhelming. It can be incredibly difficult when the adults in our lives are not supportive or do not make us feel safe, so it is understandable you would want space from them. We want you to know that you are not alone in this and we are here to listen and help as much as possible. Reaching out was a really good first step to getting the support that you deserve.

    You mentioned that you are wanting to leave home. The easiest way to leave home is with your parents permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Child Help is a resource that advocates for youth in dangerous or unsafe situations and they can tell you more about how CPS might be able to help. You can contact them by phone at 1-800-422-4453 or through live chat at www.childhelp.org.

    Often having a safe space to explore how you are feeling can bring about solutions not previously thought of. We are available for immediate support 24/7 by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY or through live chat at 1800runaway.org. We can talk more in detail about your situation, explore all of your possible options, and come up with a plan that you feel comfortable with.

    We hope to hear from you soon,
    NRS
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