I'm 13, I hate my family and I want to leave.

[Guest]

Hey I'm 14 and I wanna leave my family. My parents are really strict they don't allow me to do anything and just want be to study all the time I am forced to be someone I am not I'm not allowed to work not allowed to have a phone go with my friends can't go to my friends house or anything.. my Parents don't let me work because they think it will effect my study. I can't be my self here and I just wanna leave.

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re going through a difficult time. It can be upsetting to feel like you’re being forced to be someone that you’re not. You’ve done the right thing by reaching out.

During stressful times, it can often be helpful to rely on other members of your support system, by talking to a friend, other relative, or school personnel. It can help to talk things through with someone outside of the situation. They might be able to help you see some options you haven’t considered yet.

If you would like to talk more about what’s going on and maybe work through some options, please give us a call at 1-800-Runaway. We have a few resources that may be useful, including our message relay (we can deliver a message to your parents on your behalf) and our conference call service (we can hold a conference call between you and your parents and help you all work through what has been upsetting you). Please feel free to call at anytime. We’re here to listen 24/7.

[ccsmod4]

Reply:My mum

Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline .

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance.

If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I know how you feel. I'm only 10, and I really want to run away from my stupid family. I know, I'm too underage to do that, but I just wished I haven't been bored in the first place.

[ccsmod15]

Hi, there. Thanks for sharing. It must be tough to feel like you don't want to be at home. We're here to listen if you want to tell us a little more about what's been going on. It's great that you're mature enough to realize that 10 is pretty young to be on your own. Maybe we could talk through some ways to make your home life more bearable. Take care, NRS

[Guest]

I have been dealing with a step dad that really hates me and I don't like him am only 12 and he has threatening to send me to Oklahoma to live with my aunt that I’ve never met in person. I feel so alone right now like I want to just leave but I can leave knowing that my sister (3 almost 4) and my 9 year old brother being abused yesterday we got into a huge disagreement. he slapped me and screams at me but once you slapped me I went crazy grabbed my clothes and run out the door running down to my neighbor they called 911, my stepdad got away with this and I am still grounded from friends, my phone, and swimming in my pool! and since we don’t know my aunt, (my father died when I was 2 months old my step dad refuse to let me see his grave) my mom just a few minutes ago went to talk with them. now we don’t live in a bad place or anything my step dad dose drink but not vary bad my older sister Cara is 22 and did drugs and now is clean living with us, but we did move a lot we just got done moving out and in to our house but we only lived there a year we are in the same town now. I hate it. I really feel like dying living with my step dad and running in tell I pass out and I have recently found out that I am gay and transgender and I can’t tell them not now. I want help with my step dad my home life and I have no were to go please help! - Maggie ( I also go by James transgender stuff, and I am sorry if this is all over the place in doing this supper fast so he won’t see this!)

[ccsmod4]

Reply: I have been dealing with a step dad


Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline .

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this difficult time.
Sometimes things can become overwhelming and it’s tough to know just what to do.

It sounds like you are discovering who you are as a person, we understand that this might be challenging for you. You have the right to take your time to decide when or if you want to share this with anyone.
You are very courageous to express your feelings. Good for you.
You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it.

We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).
You do not deserve to be abused and neither do you siblings.
It is not your fault that this is happening.

If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/ or contact them at Child help USA 1-800-422-4453

We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.
You contact NRS at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org

We hope this helps. Please reach out if we can offer any further support.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I honestly dont even want to be with my mom because she treats me like ******** and the only inspiration i had was my hair and she just cut it like i wanna kms

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to us, we know it is not always easy to ask for help, but it is great that you are using all the resources available to you. It sounds like it must be stressful to live in a house where you aren’t being treated with respect. It must have been really upsetting to have your mom cut your hair, and it makes sense that you are not happy with her.

If you are really considering suicide, you could reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, they might be able to talk to you about these feelings and help you deal with them. You could also consider talking to a counselor or trusted adult about what is going on at home so that you could have someone to talk about your feelings with. You could also always call us here at the National Runaway Safeline if you ever wanted to talk about your issues with your family, and we would always be happy to talk through everything.

It must be really hard to live in a place where you aren’t being treated the way you want to be treated, and it makes sense that you would want to leave. It is amazing that you reached out to us and are trying to figure out what all of your options are. Again, we are here 24/7 to talk and would be happy to help you further. Feel free to call us at any time, our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY.

Best of Luck,
NRS

[Guest]

I am 15 years old I've been having a lot of issues with my mother since I was about 12 years old. I really have tried to make peace with My mom and be nice to her and do anything I can to keep her happy. But seems to me that no matter what I do or say. Sometimes not even doing anything she snaps at me every day! Yells at me , calls me stupid and so many other things.That make me have hatred towards her. Sometimes she even says that she doesn't want me.

I have a boyfriend and we've been dating for two years now my family knows his family and they talk frequently. But my moms always talks about him and that really doesn't make me feel good it makes me mad. She rips up pictures of him and I. I go to school and get out at 2:45 and expects me to get home at 3;00 walking when in car it takes ten minutes, how is that even possible, when I get home like 5 mins late she screams at me and calls me all sorts of things. She doesn't notice all the hate it causes me EVERY SINGLE LITTLE thing she says to me I will never ever forget. My boyfriend is the only person who I can really trust, because honestly sometimes I feel so lonely and I've tried to hurt myself and he has been so helpful and I've gotten over hurting myself.

I have a grandma who have been like my mother I I have a grandma who have been like my mother sine I was born. She has been there through bad and good things because my father wasn't. She is like my father. She supports everything I do. I have grown so tired of my mom that has made me want to move with my grandma who I feel loves me like if she were my mom. I really like the way she makes me feel wanted. Unlike my mother who makes me feel unwanted and not cared for. I have two other siblings a young 10 year old sister and a 21 year old. The 21-year-old moved out and the 10 year old still lives with us but she is treated way better by mom and her dad because they are together. Since they're together they make me feel unwanted since they are a whole family. I really need your advice because I fear that I will get depressed again.

[ccsmod6]

It sounds like you’re going through a difficult time with your mom, so we are glad you are reaching out to us because we are here to listen and to help. You mentioned that you have tried to hurt yourself and that you’ve also gotten over hurting yourself now. That is great to hear and is admirable that you have found other ways to deal with feeling unwanted in a way that isn’t harmful or you. If you ever wanted to talk to someone about those feelings, our hotline is confidential and 24/7, because we are here to listen. You can call us anytime at 1-800-786-2929. There is also an additional resource called To Write Love on Her Arms, they offer a textline that may be a good resource if you ever feel lonely or think about hurting yourself. To reach out to them, you can text TWLOHA to 741-741.

You also mentioned that your mom snaps at you, yells at you, and calls you names like ‘stupid.’ No one deserves to be treated that way, especially by a parent. If you wanted to call the number we mentioned before, we can talk about the types of things your mom calls you and talk a little bit more about your options. Some of the things you’ve mentioned can be considered verbal abuse, and we could talk with you and discuss options on how to handle that situation and potentially report the abuse if you wanted to.

You also said that both your mom’s boyfriend and you grandma are a form of support when your mom treats you that way. Have you talked to them about how the way you are being treated makes you feel? Do you think either of them would be willing to advocate for you and talk to your mom about how your mom’s behavior affects you? Having a third party involved may help move the conversation with your mom along. If you aren’t comfortable with including them, we do offer a conference service where one of our Liners would talk with you first, then reach out and speak to our mom, and then join you both on a call to discuss any feelings that either of you may have. The Liner would remain on the line and try to keep conversation productive.

You said that your grandma has been like a mom to you and she supports you in everything that you do. Have you talked with her about moving in with her, maybe discussing expectations and things like that if you went to stay with her? It might be a good idea to get her on board before bringing it up to mom. We aren’t legal experts, but if you leave your mom’s house without permission, she does have the option to file a runaway report. While the act of running away isn’t considered illegal in most states, harboring a runaway is. This means that your mom could press charges against your grandma if you don’t get her permission to leave the home. Talking through that conversation might be something that your grandma could help with or that is something we could discuss on a conference call as well.

As we mentioned, we are glad you are reaching out to us because we are here to help. As we said her are available to talk with you about any of the options discussed in this email or can talk through any thoughts you may be having 24/7.

Best of Luck

[Guest]

Im 13 as well, I wanna run away too, but I sint where to start. Im Angelina

[ccsmod1]

Hello Angelina,

Thank you for sharing! It was very brave for you to reach out for help. We are here to listen and support you however we can. It sounds like you don't know where to start. Running away is a huge decision, and we can help talk you through your options so you can make a plan to deal with your situation and stay safe. Don't hesitate to call us or chat with us online if you need to talk. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.

[Guest]

I'm 13. Most people think that all I do is over exaggerate. You wouldn't be able to tell from the outside. Me, my brother, my mom, and her @$$ of a boyfriend. All my mom does is complain about money. How much we cost. How much food costs. She scares me sometimes. One time my brother wouldn't clean the playroom and she picked a box full of toys and slammed it on the ground right in front of my brothers face. I struggle with severe depression, suicidal thoughts and anxiety. Most nights I end up in my room sobbing because of something she said. She complains about money but all she does is sit on the couch, eating ice cream and looking at face book. My grandma is no help either. One time when my mom was it the hospital with mono, my grandma offered me pie. I accepted and she started talking to my mom about how I was going to get fat. I quit eating for 5 days after that. I dropped 7 pounds. No one noticed. The one person I could confide in, my aunt, turned out to be telling my mom everything we talked about. I have been on the verge of running away for years now, and I think I may tonight.

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us. It sounds like you’re going through a really difficult situation with your family. It means a lot that you wrote to us to tell us about your experiences. Hopefully this message will contain information that you find helpful.

There are a few things we want to tell you because you mention suicide. We want to start out by saying that we deeply respect the bravery that you exhibited by coming forward with this information. Talking is a great way to cope with the weight of suicidal thoughts. It may help you feel less alone with your burdens, and more connected to others. You can feel free to call us, or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) if you feel like you would like to speak with anyone about your circumstances or about suicidal thoughts. We both are available 24/7 to help with these sorts of problems and to provide support. We also encourage you to speak to someone you trust about these issues if you would feel more comfortable talking about your experiences and feelings with those people. Regardless, we encourage you to speak out to someone if you ever feel like harming yourself or ending your own life.

What your grandmother told you about your weight and eating habits is certainly not okay. Eating is something that everyone has to do to survive, and what you’re eating should not be used to judge you or to belittle you. However, since you mentioned that you didn’t eat for 5 days after your grandmother made these comments, you may find the National Eating Disorders Association (1-800-931-2237) helpful. You also can call us if you feel like you want to starve yourself again, or if you would just want to process your feelings about eating habits. Your health and safety are our priority, so we highly encourage you to speak to anyone with whom you feel comfortable with if you tempted to engage in these eating habits again.

While we’ve encouraged you to call us about suicide and eating disorders, we also definitely encourage you to call in about running away. When a youth runs away, they may need help finding food and shelter, or they may have several questions about what life as a runaway may entail. Because youth often have a lot they want to discuss about running away, it often is easier to help out over the phones. We are here 24/7 and look forward to hearing from you.

Again, thanks so much and best of luck.

[Guest]

I want to go live with my grandma but I don't want to lose everything I'm working for I like to be out there and have fun! I even started deum I want to make friends that I don't have to be someone I'm not. But where my grandma is those things aren't possible. My mother is emotionally abusing me. My grandma tells me to call the cops but it's not that easy. My mom will do anything she can to make it seem like I'm the bad child and I just run away from my responsibilities. The only thing I want to run away from is her! She only needs me to work and babysit her kids. I'm 13 years old and I already go through so much stress but I have to constantly hide it from everyone because I'm too scared to speak up and say something!

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. We are very sorry to hear that your mother has been emotionally abusive towards you. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. You mentioned that you are scared to speak up and that’s understandable. It is a very scary situation, you should do whatever you feel is best. If you would to discuss more about the abuse or maybe even report it, Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is a great resource. It sounds like you just want to have fun and make new friends but with everything that is going on, it seems impossible. You mentioned that you have to work and babysit and you’re under a lot of stress. To cope with the abuse and stress, you could try doing activities that you enjoy. For any additional resources and support, please contact us at (1-800-786-2929).

[Guest]

My family is unfair I'm thinking of running away

I live in a household where my parents are constantly arguing and fighting. My parents blame there bad relationship on my siblings and me. Although all my siblings are accused of their fighting and the troubled relationship my parents, they agree with them as I do not. Today my brother and I got into a physical fight with my older brother where my parents broke it up and I was punished for making the first physical action. I do not like my parents because they are unfair And mentally and emotionally abusing me and I'm tired of it I don't know if I even want to live anymore. I become so hard for me to deal with this but my parents don't care. Their laziness is why nothing is ever fair Because of the amount of energy it takes to deal with my problems my parents never care. I want to change families but I don't know how I was hoping you could help me.

[ccsmod0]

Hi There,
Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re caught in a difficult situation and looking for a way out. We’re here to help you in any way that we can.
It sounds like your house can be quite the chaotic place to be at times. Do you have somewhere safe that you can go when things get heated? Having a safe place that you can go to might help you temporarily lave the stress that is at home. Maybe you can brainstorm places that you can go, if not then perhaps we can try finding a safe place for you. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you’d like to talk to us a little more, we can be reached 24/7 on our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our live chat between 4:30pm and 11:30pm central time daily. We hope to hear from you soon.
Take Care,
NRS

[Guest]

I hate this family they always hate me and my brother ,they destroyed my heart and my brother so thats why I want to run away or hate them even worser

[ccsmod4]

Reply: I hate this family

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline .

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 14 and live with my aunt uncle cousins and great grandma, I’m always saying to my self wow I really wish I could just walk out but I never really do, but I’m always really miserable expecially recently bc the orthodontist took the wire out of my braces and it hurts to talk, and I told them that but they still yell when I don’t want to talk to them bc no matter what i do or say I “have an attitude”

[ccsmod7]

Thanks for reaching out to us about your situation. It sounds like you are going through a tough time at home. We are sorry to hear this and are here to help the best way we can.

There’s a lot to think about when leaving home. Do you have anyone who would be willing to let you stay with them? How do you think your parents would react to you leaving? As a minor, some things to keep in mind are that your parents could file a runaway report with the police. In this case, if you are picked up by the police, they might have to by law return you to your parents/guardians. It’s also good to keep in mind that anyone you stay with could be at risk for harboring a runaway. Harboring a runaway is often considered a misdemeanor. Fortunately running away doesn’t usually have any legal consequences because it is a status offense, not a criminal one.

We do hope that you reach out to us through phone or chat to discuss your situation in more detail. Our goal is to help you find ways to stay safe. We would be happy to look up resources in your area, talk with you about your options, or just listen to what you’re going through.

Stay strong,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm 14 and I hate that my parents treat me like I'm 4 years old. Every time I try to make a rational decision for myself my parents have to butt in and ruin everything. I want them to just let me make some decision's for myself. They want me to do everything the way they do, and they always say that I have to wait until I'm 18 to think for myself. I'm on the edge of my rope here and I don't know what to do. I need some help.

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,

Thanks for reaching out to us via our forum! We appreciate you taking the time out to explain a bit about the situation, we’re always here to help in any way we can.

It sounds like home life and the way your parents treat you is really frustrating and stressful for you. They’re not letting you be your own person and belittling you, it’s understandable that you’re wanting to make some decisions for yourself. If you haven't, you could try talking to someone close to you about the way that you have been feeling. It’s super important to try to get help and have a good support system. You could consider talking to the school counselor, or another adult that you trust.

Another idea would be for you to call us at NRS and then we call your parents together, to have a conference call. We can try to help you talk through some of these issues with them in a neutral way – and hopefully make them understand how what’s happening is affecting you.

In any case, we’re here 24/7 to listen and to help, so please call us if things get tough and you need to talk them out.

Be strong, NRS