Should I leave my house?

[Guest]

Hi there,

An incident between my mum and I happened today where I came back home at around half past 7 in the evening and she started getting mad that I came home at that time. I commute at home to my uni which is around an hour or two away from my house so I can't come early when I want to. She got mad that I had no classes today but I decided to come home at that time. But, I was in the library the whole time and I came similar time to that last week Monday and my mum didn't say anything then(as well as the week before).

Similar incidents like this have happened in the past which included name calling and possible hitting but I brush it off. This is extremely toxic and emotionally stressful for me especially now I am in my first year of university. My older siblings have contributed to the way my mum thinks by calling her and talking crap about me via on phone whilst they are in their campuses in uni.

I'm not too sure if I'm over-reacting or if it is time for me to leave home and be independent on what I want to do. I've contemplated about moving out a couple of times in the past but this incident makes me think if I should really move home.

Just a little disclaimer, I'm eighteen years old.

Many thanks

[ccsmod6]

Hello, and thanks for reaching out. It sounds like today’s incident was really distressing, especially because your mom’s reaction to it seems arbitrary, and since it’s not the first time. No one deserves to be in a toxic environment, to be called names or even hit physically.

You are 18, so you are legally an adult and can leave if you wish. Of course, moving on your own is an important decision; Things to consider include things like a job, or an idea of where you can stay. If think that talking to your mom about what you are going through might be a difficult conversation, it would be good to plan it well beforehand, and possibly even have someone else there with the two of you – someone who you trust and who your mom respects – to help keep the conversation neutral and objective. Alternatively, you could try to reach some compromise with her, including having her respect your schedule and decisions, maybe as a step before you leave.

It’s important to have a good support system to keep you from getting too emotionally drained...so please feel free to reach out to any friends or loved ones around you to talk about what is going on! Please know that we’re here 24/7 to listen and to help if you wish to call and talk things out (1-800-runaway), ok? For now, hope you can keep your spirits up while you plan well what to do next – and stay strong!