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i dont want to live with my parents and im 17

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  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    We're really thankful you reached out to us, it sounds like your mother hasn't been treating you with respect, and hasn't been taking care of your emotional needs in the way that you deserve. That can be extremely draining, fatiguing, and harmful to both your mental and physical health. We are on your side, we want to create space for your experience, and we want to do everything in our power to help.

    It sounds like you actually have a very good grasp on what you are needing and what you aren't getting, which can make it extremely frustrating that your mother is acting as a barrier to your recovery rather than an ally.

    It may be possible to find a counselor without having to go through your mom. If you are able to find out if you have health insurance, and can find information like your Group ID (information that would be printed on a health insurance card), you may be able to find a therapist who would be covered who could see you virtually. Otherwise, the National Alliance on Mental Illness may be able to help you connect with someone. Their website is www.nami.org. You can also live chat us if you have access to a computer or smart device. We're available 24/7 at 1800runaway.org. We'll do our best to provide you with the care you need.

    If you do choose to leave the house at 17, technically your mother could file a runaway report with law enforcement, and they would most likely investigate where you are and attempt to return you home. That doesn't necessarily mean it's impossible, and we aren't here to tell you what you should or shouldn't do. It can come with some challenges though, and it can be best to plan things through before leaving, such as where you'll go, who you'll stay with, how long you'll be gone, and what you would do in case of an emergency.

    There are some youth shelters that accept people under 18, but they usually require consent to be given from a parent/legal guardian, which can make it tricky.

    We also offer a message service where we can contact someone on your behalf if you think your mother might be more inclined to listen to someone else.

    Lastly, we want you to be aware that your life has value, and there are people here who are willing to help when things are tough. The National Suicide Prevention Hotline operates 24/7, their website is www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. You might also find value in this document of alternatives to self-harm: https://www.firstpersonplural.org.uk...-self-harm.pdf

    Please reach out any time; we are here to talk. You don't have to go through this alone.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    im 17, can i legally walk out the door and not come back home? i cant take anymore. my mother is too controlling and its tearing me apart. last night she comepletely invaded my privacy by going through my phone and took conversations with my friends and boys i have crushes on, and snapchat pictures way out of perspective. she lost her mind. then she decided that the only punishment that seemed fitting enough would be her homeschooling me for senioer year, taking away prom, taking away my job before i even get it, and taking away my phone. practically locking me here like a prisoner and never allowing me to leave the house again. I have major anxiety, depression, attachment issues, at times communication issues, and trust issues which are all things that are a result of my father leaving at a young age and these are also things i asked her to put me in counciling for which she refuses. which is quite hipocritical because her and my older brother were in counciling before. its not fair. i get yelled at and put down for every wrong thing i do and she doesnt take it as a cry for help and that i need a therapist. not only that but her response to me asking for counciling is always "what can you tell a stranger that you cant tell your own mother?" which is a way to guilt trip me into telling her whats wrong which i never do because i dont feel comfortable. my anxiety is really bad. the smallest of things can set it off such as her asking me to do too many things at once or everbody in this house needing something from me. When i have anxiety attacks i usually hyperventilate (which is bad because i have asthma), scream and break down crying, or i pull at me hair or hurt myself in any way possible and still she refuses to get me a coucilor. her going through my phone was the last thing i can take. she completely belittled me as she usually does when shes mad at me and this time ive had enough. Last night after that happened i was seriously considering k!lling myself so much that i even thought of all the ways i could do it and all and things i had around the house to do so. Luckily i fell asleep before making such a big decision but i woke up this morning with the thought of running straight out that door and never looking back only problem is i dont know where id go and i know she'd call the cops and theyd most likely make me come back home which i refuse to do once i leave. please dont say i can just wait until im 18 because i just turned 17 three months ago which would mean id have to wait another 9 months for my birthday to come back around and I just cant take anymore. Im not sure what to do anymore besides end my life or leave and im in desperate need of help.

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  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you so much for reaching out to us. It takes a lot of personal courage to ask someone for help and we appreciate you sharing a bit about what’s been going on. It sounds like you are going through a tough time and that your father’s behavior is affecting you emotionally. First of all, your emotions and frustrations are completely valid. Every person’s journey is unique and it is difficult to want to make your own decisions, not those pressured around you. You mentioned that you have confronted your father about your feelings on college, have you tried talking to another guardian about this? Parents can be more open to listening and working towards a solution if another guardian is involved in the process. If you aren’t comfortable talking to them on your own, you could ask a friend/teacher/coach/someone else you trust to talk to them with you. If you call us, we can even act as that person, helping you and your parents talk through this together.

    We understand that you have become so frustrated that you might have thought about suicide. Your life matters and we are glad you reached out to us. Please reach out to us, we are here to support you. You can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or message us through our live chat www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I just turned 19 today and i want to move out. I just feel trapped living with my parents. I dont have a good relationship with my dad. He yells at me at because i dont do well in college but i told him i dont want to go to college and its not for me. He told me that i had two choice, either go back to college or do what i want and that i was no longer his son. I felt really pressured but ended up choosing to go back to college but now im starting to rethink if i made the right decision. I dont think i did because im stressed, have anxeity, and is depressed. I used to smile but now i just dont. Ive thought about running away or even ending my life but i still want to live, i still have a future but i dont think i can achieve that with living with my dad. I know he just wants whats best for me but thats what he wants not what i want. What should i do?

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I’m a 12 year old girl and my parents have been divorced since I was 5 I don’t get along with my dad at all and I hate him. My mom used to support me and still does sometimes but often I feel like I just want to runaway but I’m too scared my mom will get mad. When I do runaway I go to a friends house down the street from me because I have nowhere else to go because I don’t have any friends. When I go over there I never want to go back home because I know I’m just going to get yelled at for something and then I feel like I want to runaway again but I’m not allowed. I feel like I have no privacy or safe zone and I just don’t know what to do about life right now. I often feel like I don’t deserve to live but my self instinct is so strong that it won’t let me do ANY self harm. I really don’t know what to do because I don’t feel mentally stable and I can’t go to a mental hospital because then I can’t go to camp. I also don’t want to go on medication because I don’t feel like it’s right for me and my mom keeps threatening it which is very aggravating.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    We hope to hear from you soon.
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    im currently 15 and i just wanna runaway or just die asap. i dont know if there is anything wrong with my mother or just like what she said that im the mistake. my mom was forced to marry my dad, and my dads family was completely toxic. my dads mom will not give a one year old kid food over 3 days only because the kid wanted to weaning breastfeeding, and that kid is me, her literal granddaughter. so yall can image my moms daily life and i understand why she chose to divorse when i was two, but what i dont understand is why she put that pressures on me? she keep telling that i was not expected, all the story happened on her, also if im not happy with my situation then it is gonna be my falut bc i chose her up above. she left me for over five years alone with her mom, i was treated poorly, slapping, hitting were and are the normal for me. and now she and her husband got a new baby boy after having three girls, me, my sis and his daughter and to force us to give up schoolwork to take care of him.when all.of us already doing all the chores in the house. i was thinking about suicide, but i still wants to be in this world, but im just so tired of dealing with everyday fighting. im hopeless.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. You made a great first step to finding the help that you may need. It sounds like you are going through a lot and the people around you are not being supportive. You deserve to be treated with respect, to experience acceptance and to feel safe.

    We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. You’re bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/

    You mentioned that you were considering the options that may be best for you. By all means, if you do fear for your safety either now or in the future, do not hesitate to take the necessary steps to regain your safety. This may mean calling the authorities or possibly reporting the things you may be experiencing. Other options to think about may be other family members, friends, or a trusted adults that would be able to provide you with support or a safe place to stay. It is great that you thinking ahead. Should you feel like leaving home is best, it may be a good idea to think about how you will provide necessities for yourself such as food, clothing, showers, healthcare and other basic needs. You may want to also consider how your parent’s will react to you leaving without permission. We are not legal experts here, but typically as a minor (under the age of 1 you need permission from your parents to leave home. It is not illegal to runaway, but it would mean that your parents could file a runaway report with the police. This is usually done in an effort to try to return you home as the police are required to do so.

    If you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or reach out through Live Chat we can try to find some youth shelters that may be near your city and state by utilizing our database of resources. We can also try to call out to shelters with you or on your behalf to advocate for you.

    Stay Strong,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I'm Kai. I'm going to be 17 in exactly one month. I live with both my parents but i'm only going to mention my Mom because she's the problematic one in the house. I've been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts for about 6 years now. I also suspect I have ADHD and have wanted to talk to a doctor about it. Only in the last year or two have I told my Mom about how I feel(I have mentioned ADHD in the past but have never spoken about it in a serious conversation). Every time we have sat down to talk about it though, she doesn't understand. It's like she blocks herself from understanding and it's extremely hurtful to me. Whenever I try to explain my feelings and thoughts, which opening up to her is a HUGE struggle for me, she just dismisses me or makes assumptions and doesn't listen. She just gives her own thoughts and own solutions(that i've tried and don't help) but never truly listens. Today I talked to her about seeing a doctor to talk about my depression and maybe get help from meds and she got upset with me. She kept denying it loudly and it hurt me so, so much... My own Mother is denying me of the one thing that I truly believe is going to give me a push in the direction i've been trying so hard to go in. She has even dismissed and made a personal trauma I don't want to discuss smaller that how bad it really is. She yells at me for little things and she's admitted it's a bad habit. But she's never done anything to get better and it's because harmful to me. She gaslights me and pulls the victim card all the time. I'm never allowed to be truly vulnerable without getting emotionally scraped...her tough love is damaging...not helping... I'm afraid of my mother. She taught me to be afraid and to be defensive around her and to not open up to her. And with my sexuality and her being a very religious woman, it's not any better. I haven't properly come out to her but she's threatened to kick me out if I did. Her negative reactions towards the LGBT community hurt me. I'm in a great relationship too...i'm with someone who really shows they care and listens to me and tries to understand and help me and I can't even call them without my parents being gone from the house. I can't even call my best friends online(the only true friends I have) because my Mom would just be upset and make me delete my accounts. My online life is the only kind of social interaction/activities that make me truly happy... I want to fight more for my independence. I've only recently just started to learn to drive with my dad but I want a place to put my money other than a hidden envelope or a wallet. I need a place to put my money and I need a way to make it. I wanted to move out at 18 but i'm not even fully sure of how i'll be able to pull it off. And I fear if things go wrong before that and i'll get grounded and have my Mother control me and everything I do, or even kick me out. I feel like i'm going to go insane in this house if I don't leave at 18 the latest... I'm just so sick of my Mother's behavior. Sick of having her religion forced on me. Sick of hiding who I am. I really want to escape. I want to do it properly but i'm overwhelmed by the planning and research I have to do... I spoke to my partner and I may tell my Mother I don't want to have her religion forced on me anymore but...i'm so scared of what may happen. I'm even scared of what may happen the day I try to move out...or if she finds out that i'm trying to move out before someone can pick me up and take me to a safe place... I've wanted to run away before...but I also just want to do things right i'm just...lost and distressed right now...

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like you have endured an immense amount of stress and unsafe situations at home. You do not deserve to be mistreated or harmed in any way especially by a parent who is supposed to keep you safe. You mentioned being safe with your brother temporarily but that it is a volatile situation. It's more than understandable you would not want to go back to an environment that made you unsafe. We want you to know that you are not alone, and we are here to help as much as possible. Even if you are kicked out by your brother, you do have options that can keep you safe.

    One option is to make a report to child protective services. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation.

    Another option could be to go to a youth shelter. Youth shelters provide a safe place to stay, mental health services, and support in finding a long term plan. If you call NRS at 1-800-RUNAWAY or contact us through the live chat, we would be happy to search for resources in your area. Please do not hesitate to reach out at any time if you need additional support with this challenging situation.

    Stay strong,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I’m 17 years old and I left my home. It’s an extremely toxic house hold. My mom and dad just scream at every little thing I do. Saying how I’m a scumbag I don’t respect them. I’m a piece of ********. I think it’s funny, I should be ashamed of myself. I’m disrespectful piec of ********. And my mom won’t stick up for me she just gangs up on me. I’m a recovering addict. I started doing drugs because of them. I smoke weed. Just to not feel as if I do belong rather than I don’t belong and I should just kill myself. I ran away before this is my 3rd time. I don’t wanna go back there. they constantly hurt me. I need help. they called the police I talked to them they didn’t force me to go back. Because I was shaking in fear and couldn’t breathe. cause of how terrified I am of them. I have nobody. my dad won’t let me go to my aunts. So he’s trying to control me. I’m at my brother right now and it’s only time till he kicks me out. and if he does I’m gonna have to be in a homeless shelter who knows what will happen. I won’t go back. Please help me.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there. Thanks for contacting NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step.

    It sounds like your relationship with mom has been pretty difficult, and we're sorry to hear that. Unfortunately because you're still a minor, mom is legally still responsible for you. If you're looking for something that you can do legally, there aren't many options at this point. From a time perspective, it might make sense for you to try and have a conversation with mom, noting how you're feeling about staying in a one bedroom apartment that you're not allowed to be in, perhaps even letting her know that you plan on leaving once you're 18, and seeing if she'll give you consent to stay elsewhere. If that's not something you're open to doing or it doesn't work out in your favor, you might have to stay put for a little while longer. While not ideal, it could give you a little more time to prepare for what's next and make sure that you have a solid plan in place.

    Beyond the above, leaving home without consent opens you up for other issues that you might not find worth the headache--a potential missing persons report or runaway report or legal ramifications for anyone who allows you to stay with them.

    If you'd like to chat in more detail about what's going on or continue to explore some of your options, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

    Take care.

    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    My mom and I haven’t been on the best of terms, I try and talk to her but she gets so angry all the time. She’s an alcoholic and drinks so much every day. She’s never sober. I been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years and my mom barely approved. I started falling behind in school and she blamed it on him. Anything i do wrong she blames on my bf. I told my mom my dog had fleas and she did not care, she did not believe me. She got all her stuff out before the fleas got to it and let my stuff just sit there. I still don't really have anything. Anyways, now she wants to move again to a one bedroom apartment which i cant even be seen in but she wants me to be there bc “im 17 and i have to listen and do anything she says.” I can’t do this anymore. I turn 18 in 2 months. Please tell me what i can do.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for reaching out to us, it sounds like the situation with your mom has been a bit overwhelming lately. You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your mom. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made. If this is not necessarily a route you’re comfortable with please reach out to us so that we can explore options and support you as best we can.
    We hope this helps.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    am 17 years old and I have some problems with her, I often quarrel with her, my mom is not happy or doesn't support any of my decisions or choices, and she doesn't like a boyfriend. Mom often pressures and coerces me. Break up with him, if we don't break up she will sue and put my boyfriend in jail, I'm so stressed out for that, I don't want to live with her anymore, she's really awful, when she lost In control she will do very horrible things like screaming and hitting me. If I live with her, I die

    Leave a comment:

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