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i dont want to live with my parents and im 17

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m a 12 year old girl and my parents have been divorced since I was 5 I don’t get along with my dad at all and I hate him. My mom used to support me and still does sometimes but often I feel like I just want to runaway but I’m too scared my mom will get mad. When I do runaway I go to a friends house down the street from me because I have nowhere else to go because I don’t have any friends. When I go over there I never want to go back home because I know I’m just going to get yelled at for something and then I feel like I want to runaway again but I’m not allowed. I feel like I have no privacy or safe zone and I just don’t know what to do about life right now. I often feel like I don’t deserve to live but my self instinct is so strong that it won’t let me do ANY self harm. I really don’t know what to do because I don’t feel mentally stable and I can’t go to a mental hospital because then I can’t go to camp. I also don’t want to go on medication because I don’t feel like it’s right for me and my mom keeps threatening it which is very aggravating.

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  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    We hope to hear from you soon.
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    im currently 15 and i just wanna runaway or just die asap. i dont know if there is anything wrong with my mother or just like what she said that im the mistake. my mom was forced to marry my dad, and my dads family was completely toxic. my dads mom will not give a one year old kid food over 3 days only because the kid wanted to weaning breastfeeding, and that kid is me, her literal granddaughter. so yall can image my moms daily life and i understand why she chose to divorse when i was two, but what i dont understand is why she put that pressures on me? she keep telling that i was not expected, all the story happened on her, also if im not happy with my situation then it is gonna be my falut bc i chose her up above. she left me for over five years alone with her mom, i was treated poorly, slapping, hitting were and are the normal for me. and now she and her husband got a new baby boy after having three girls, me, my sis and his daughter and to force us to give up schoolwork to take care of him.when all.of us already doing all the chores in the house. i was thinking about suicide, but i still wants to be in this world, but im just so tired of dealing with everyday fighting. im hopeless.

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  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. You made a great first step to finding the help that you may need. It sounds like you are going through a lot and the people around you are not being supportive. You deserve to be treated with respect, to experience acceptance and to feel safe.

    We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. You’re bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/

    You mentioned that you were considering the options that may be best for you. By all means, if you do fear for your safety either now or in the future, do not hesitate to take the necessary steps to regain your safety. This may mean calling the authorities or possibly reporting the things you may be experiencing. Other options to think about may be other family members, friends, or a trusted adults that would be able to provide you with support or a safe place to stay. It is great that you thinking ahead. Should you feel like leaving home is best, it may be a good idea to think about how you will provide necessities for yourself such as food, clothing, showers, healthcare and other basic needs. You may want to also consider how your parent’s will react to you leaving without permission. We are not legal experts here, but typically as a minor (under the age of 1 you need permission from your parents to leave home. It is not illegal to runaway, but it would mean that your parents could file a runaway report with the police. This is usually done in an effort to try to return you home as the police are required to do so.

    If you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or reach out through Live Chat we can try to find some youth shelters that may be near your city and state by utilizing our database of resources. We can also try to call out to shelters with you or on your behalf to advocate for you.

    Stay Strong,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm Kai. I'm going to be 17 in exactly one month. I live with both my parents but i'm only going to mention my Mom because she's the problematic one in the house. I've been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts for about 6 years now. I also suspect I have ADHD and have wanted to talk to a doctor about it. Only in the last year or two have I told my Mom about how I feel(I have mentioned ADHD in the past but have never spoken about it in a serious conversation). Every time we have sat down to talk about it though, she doesn't understand. It's like she blocks herself from understanding and it's extremely hurtful to me. Whenever I try to explain my feelings and thoughts, which opening up to her is a HUGE struggle for me, she just dismisses me or makes assumptions and doesn't listen. She just gives her own thoughts and own solutions(that i've tried and don't help) but never truly listens. Today I talked to her about seeing a doctor to talk about my depression and maybe get help from meds and she got upset with me. She kept denying it loudly and it hurt me so, so much... My own Mother is denying me of the one thing that I truly believe is going to give me a push in the direction i've been trying so hard to go in. She has even dismissed and made a personal trauma I don't want to discuss smaller that how bad it really is. She yells at me for little things and she's admitted it's a bad habit. But she's never done anything to get better and it's because harmful to me. She gaslights me and pulls the victim card all the time. I'm never allowed to be truly vulnerable without getting emotionally scraped...her tough love is damaging...not helping... I'm afraid of my mother. She taught me to be afraid and to be defensive around her and to not open up to her. And with my sexuality and her being a very religious woman, it's not any better. I haven't properly come out to her but she's threatened to kick me out if I did. Her negative reactions towards the LGBT community hurt me. I'm in a great relationship too...i'm with someone who really shows they care and listens to me and tries to understand and help me and I can't even call them without my parents being gone from the house. I can't even call my best friends online(the only true friends I have) because my Mom would just be upset and make me delete my accounts. My online life is the only kind of social interaction/activities that make me truly happy... I want to fight more for my independence. I've only recently just started to learn to drive with my dad but I want a place to put my money other than a hidden envelope or a wallet. I need a place to put my money and I need a way to make it. I wanted to move out at 18 but i'm not even fully sure of how i'll be able to pull it off. And I fear if things go wrong before that and i'll get grounded and have my Mother control me and everything I do, or even kick me out. I feel like i'm going to go insane in this house if I don't leave at 18 the latest... I'm just so sick of my Mother's behavior. Sick of having her religion forced on me. Sick of hiding who I am. I really want to escape. I want to do it properly but i'm overwhelmed by the planning and research I have to do... I spoke to my partner and I may tell my Mother I don't want to have her religion forced on me anymore but...i'm so scared of what may happen. I'm even scared of what may happen the day I try to move out...or if she finds out that i'm trying to move out before someone can pick me up and take me to a safe place... I've wanted to run away before...but I also just want to do things right i'm just...lost and distressed right now...

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  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like you have endured an immense amount of stress and unsafe situations at home. You do not deserve to be mistreated or harmed in any way especially by a parent who is supposed to keep you safe. You mentioned being safe with your brother temporarily but that it is a volatile situation. It's more than understandable you would not want to go back to an environment that made you unsafe. We want you to know that you are not alone, and we are here to help as much as possible. Even if you are kicked out by your brother, you do have options that can keep you safe.

    One option is to make a report to child protective services. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation.

    Another option could be to go to a youth shelter. Youth shelters provide a safe place to stay, mental health services, and support in finding a long term plan. If you call NRS at 1-800-RUNAWAY or contact us through the live chat, we would be happy to search for resources in your area. Please do not hesitate to reach out at any time if you need additional support with this challenging situation.

    Stay strong,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m 17 years old and I left my home. It’s an extremely toxic house hold. My mom and dad just scream at every little thing I do. Saying how I’m a scumbag I don’t respect them. I’m a piece of ********. I think it’s funny, I should be ashamed of myself. I’m disrespectful piec of ********. And my mom won’t stick up for me she just gangs up on me. I’m a recovering addict. I started doing drugs because of them. I smoke weed. Just to not feel as if I do belong rather than I don’t belong and I should just kill myself. I ran away before this is my 3rd time. I don’t wanna go back there. they constantly hurt me. I need help. they called the police I talked to them they didn’t force me to go back. Because I was shaking in fear and couldn’t breathe. cause of how terrified I am of them. I have nobody. my dad won’t let me go to my aunts. So he’s trying to control me. I’m at my brother right now and it’s only time till he kicks me out. and if he does I’m gonna have to be in a homeless shelter who knows what will happen. I won’t go back. Please help me.

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  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there. Thanks for contacting NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step.

    It sounds like your relationship with mom has been pretty difficult, and we're sorry to hear that. Unfortunately because you're still a minor, mom is legally still responsible for you. If you're looking for something that you can do legally, there aren't many options at this point. From a time perspective, it might make sense for you to try and have a conversation with mom, noting how you're feeling about staying in a one bedroom apartment that you're not allowed to be in, perhaps even letting her know that you plan on leaving once you're 18, and seeing if she'll give you consent to stay elsewhere. If that's not something you're open to doing or it doesn't work out in your favor, you might have to stay put for a little while longer. While not ideal, it could give you a little more time to prepare for what's next and make sure that you have a solid plan in place.

    Beyond the above, leaving home without consent opens you up for other issues that you might not find worth the headache--a potential missing persons report or runaway report or legal ramifications for anyone who allows you to stay with them.

    If you'd like to chat in more detail about what's going on or continue to explore some of your options, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

    Take care.

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My mom and I haven’t been on the best of terms, I try and talk to her but she gets so angry all the time. She’s an alcoholic and drinks so much every day. She’s never sober. I been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years and my mom barely approved. I started falling behind in school and she blamed it on him. Anything i do wrong she blames on my bf. I told my mom my dog had fleas and she did not care, she did not believe me. She got all her stuff out before the fleas got to it and let my stuff just sit there. I still don't really have anything. Anyways, now she wants to move again to a one bedroom apartment which i cant even be seen in but she wants me to be there bc “im 17 and i have to listen and do anything she says.” I can’t do this anymore. I turn 18 in 2 months. Please tell me what i can do.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for reaching out to us, it sounds like the situation with your mom has been a bit overwhelming lately. You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your mom. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made. If this is not necessarily a route you’re comfortable with please reach out to us so that we can explore options and support you as best we can.
    We hope this helps.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    am 17 years old and I have some problems with her, I often quarrel with her, my mom is not happy or doesn't support any of my decisions or choices, and she doesn't like a boyfriend. Mom often pressures and coerces me. Break up with him, if we don't break up she will sue and put my boyfriend in jail, I'm so stressed out for that, I don't want to live with her anymore, she's really awful, when she lost In control she will do very horrible things like screaming and hitting me. If I live with her, I die

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it can be difficult to reach out for help sometimes, and we hope to help as best we can. On this forum we do need to keep confidentiality and needed to censor some identifying information you gave. This may not be the website best equipped to share your usernames, but we do want to provide some resources that could be helpful for you.
    It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    It may be important for you to know, that running away is not a crime and you would not be in any legal trouble for running away. Once you turn 18 the runaway report would automatically be deleted from the system as you would be considered a legal adult in most states. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. A legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe and stay strong,
    NRS
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Im african american, 17 and feel like the whole world is against me. I have a 18 year old sister thats disabled. Everytime we make plans it gets canceled cus i gotta stay back and take care of her. I have a 16 year old brother that goes into my room and trashes my stuff when hes mad. Everytime he gets near me the only thing i wanna do is murder him. Jail is whats kept me from slashing his throat all these years. I got a dad that i feel like cheated on my dead mother all those years ago. When she died he didnt even cry. When i get revenge on my brother for taking things that were given to me im the one that gets in trouble. I honestly dont care about this family anymore. I feel suicidal sometimes but i refrain cus its not worth it. My instagram is *******. Message me of you wanna start a new life with me, or would like it if i could stay with them. I live in ****** and wanna get away from hear. Im a cool guy to be around honestly. Im good at art and a fast runner. I dont have a car and would like to get away from this place. Message me on my instagram if youre willing to help me out. I can be lazy at times but if you allow me to stay at your place work hard if i have to. If there for me ill be there for you. P.S. im not a snitch so if your in the life of crime or do some shady stuff i dont care. At least let me work beside you. And whatever happens happens im down with whatever you are
    Last edited by ccsmod5; 02-10-2021, 01:33 AM. Reason: preserving confidentiality

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  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. You don't deserve to be treated that way. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

    You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Be safe and stay strong,

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I dont even know if this is abuse or not..i just feel so suffocated in my own home I dont even know what to do. If anything I just cry all the time. My mother has an app on my phone to basically monitor whatever I do, a couple days ago she got mad at me because I refused to pick up her slippers and took away everything. When I used to live with my grandma when my mom divorced my dad I had a panic attack and instead of calming my down she held me down and when I told her to get off of me she refused and this was because my grandma wouldn't stop making comments about my mood and I snapped at her even when I told her to knock it off. She my mom came at me and slapped me and eventually with so much fighting she pushed me onto a bed and held me down by my wrist while I was screaming and crying for her to get off and the whole time she was making comments on and eventually I said to her "we wouldn't even be in this situation if grandma would have listened to me when I told her to stop commenting on my mood. But no, she had to open her big mouth and say something." Because of that she slapped me again while my family members watched. When I started hyperventilating she let me go but the hyperventilating got so bad because she tried to hold me down again. My mom isn't the only one guilty of this, my dad one night forced me to do the dishes over and over and over until they were so clean that you could basically see your own reflection, and because I washed the plates and cups so many times he got mad because I couldn't put them in the dish washer. So he grabbed me by my shoulders and shoved me against the counter. I remember when I had sucicidal thoughts I told my mom that and she basically told me that if I kill myself I was going to be sent to hell..I am so sick of living in this damn house. I cannot wait until I am 18. Is this what living what your parents is like? Is this what people consider normal? Everyone turns a blind eye to how I feel and when I was with my dad for a short time I was in my bathroom and thought that it would be better if I was here and so I put a handle of pills in my mouth until I spit them out because I thought that if I did then my brothers who I love a lot would be very sad. I am 14 and if this continues and my mom doesnt listen to me and how I feel and I continue feeling so suffocated I might not make it to 15.

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