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i dont want to live with my parents and im 17

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  • #16
    Hi..I just turned 17 in October. I was adopted into this family when I was little. But I just hate it here now, I feel as if I'm constantly getting verbally abused and they are treating me like I am 10 years old. They make me feel not good enoigh, or as if they dont wamt me here. Always sayin stuff like if you wanna go here or there than you can go, but i know if i try to than they will get the police involved. And when we get around others they pretend they are pople they arent and i just cannot take it anymore. I have a job. And I've had it since april. I wanna go live with my friend and her mom. They both think that it's fine. I'd be in a stable home, with income from every person in the household. I guess I just need to be pointed into the right direction. What are my options here?

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult situation and we want you to know that you are not alone.
      You do not deserve to be verbally abused and we are sorry you are going through that, no one should make you feel like you are not enough. If you would like to file an abuse report you can by calling Child help at: 1800-422-4453. We are not legal experts but if you were to leave without permission your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they most likely would bring you home. One option to consider would be emancipation, you can find out more about this by calling your local court house.
      We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
      NRS

  • #17
    I dont even know if this is abuse or not..i just feel so suffocated in my own home I dont even know what to do. If anything I just cry all the time. My mother has an app on my phone to basically monitor whatever I do, a couple days ago she got mad at me because I refused to pick up her slippers and took away everything. When I used to live with my grandma when my mom divorced my dad I had a panic attack and instead of calming my down she held me down and when I told her to get off of me she refused and this was because my grandma wouldn't stop making comments about my mood and I snapped at her even when I told her to knock it off. She my mom came at me and slapped me and eventually with so much fighting she pushed me onto a bed and held me down by my wrist while I was screaming and crying for her to get off and the whole time she was making comments on and eventually I said to her "we wouldn't even be in this situation if grandma would have listened to me when I told her to stop commenting on my mood. But no, she had to open her big mouth and say something." Because of that she slapped me again while my family members watched. When I started hyperventilating she let me go but the hyperventilating got so bad because she tried to hold me down again. My mom isn't the only one guilty of this, my dad one night forced me to do the dishes over and over and over until they were so clean that you could basically see your own reflection, and because I washed the plates and cups so many times he got mad because I couldn't put them in the dish washer. So he grabbed me by my shoulders and shoved me against the counter. I remember when I had sucicidal thoughts I told my mom that and she basically told me that if I kill myself I was going to be sent to hell..I am so sick of living in this damn house. I cannot wait until I am 18. Is this what living what your parents is like? Is this what people consider normal? Everyone turns a blind eye to how I feel and when I was with my dad for a short time I was in my bathroom and thought that it would be better if I was here and so I put a handle of pills in my mouth until I spit them out because I thought that if I did then my brothers who I love a lot would be very sad. I am 14 and if this continues and my mom doesnt listen to me and how I feel and I continue feeling so suffocated I might not make it to 15.

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. You don't deserve to be treated that way. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

      You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

      If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

      We hope to hear from you soon.

      Be safe and stay strong,

      NRS

  • #18
    Im african american, 17 and feel like the whole world is against me. I have a 18 year old sister thats disabled. Everytime we make plans it gets canceled cus i gotta stay back and take care of her. I have a 16 year old brother that goes into my room and trashes my stuff when hes mad. Everytime he gets near me the only thing i wanna do is murder him. Jail is whats kept me from slashing his throat all these years. I got a dad that i feel like cheated on my dead mother all those years ago. When she died he didnt even cry. When i get revenge on my brother for taking things that were given to me im the one that gets in trouble. I honestly dont care about this family anymore. I feel suicidal sometimes but i refrain cus its not worth it. My instagram is *******. Message me of you wanna start a new life with me, or would like it if i could stay with them. I live in ****** and wanna get away from hear. Im a cool guy to be around honestly. Im good at art and a fast runner. I dont have a car and would like to get away from this place. Message me on my instagram if youre willing to help me out. I can be lazy at times but if you allow me to stay at your place work hard if i have to. If there for me ill be there for you. P.S. im not a snitch so if your in the life of crime or do some shady stuff i dont care. At least let me work beside you. And whatever happens happens im down with whatever you are
    Last edited by ccsmod5; 02-10-2021, 01:33 AM. Reason: preserving confidentiality

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it can be difficult to reach out for help sometimes, and we hope to help as best we can. On this forum we do need to keep confidentiality and needed to censor some identifying information you gave. This may not be the website best equipped to share your usernames, but we do want to provide some resources that could be helpful for you.
      It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      It may be important for you to know, that running away is not a crime and you would not be in any legal trouble for running away. Once you turn 18 the runaway report would automatically be deleted from the system as you would be considered a legal adult in most states. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. A legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe and stay strong,
      NRS
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #19
    am 17 years old and I have some problems with her, I often quarrel with her, my mom is not happy or doesn't support any of my decisions or choices, and she doesn't like a boyfriend. Mom often pressures and coerces me. Break up with him, if we don't break up she will sue and put my boyfriend in jail, I'm so stressed out for that, I don't want to live with her anymore, she's really awful, when she lost In control she will do very horrible things like screaming and hitting me. If I live with her, I die

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for reaching out to us, it sounds like the situation with your mom has been a bit overwhelming lately. You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your mom. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made. If this is not necessarily a route you’re comfortable with please reach out to us so that we can explore options and support you as best we can.
      We hope this helps.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #20
    My mom and I haven’t been on the best of terms, I try and talk to her but she gets so angry all the time. She’s an alcoholic and drinks so much every day. She’s never sober. I been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years and my mom barely approved. I started falling behind in school and she blamed it on him. Anything i do wrong she blames on my bf. I told my mom my dog had fleas and she did not care, she did not believe me. She got all her stuff out before the fleas got to it and let my stuff just sit there. I still don't really have anything. Anyways, now she wants to move again to a one bedroom apartment which i cant even be seen in but she wants me to be there bc “im 17 and i have to listen and do anything she says.” I can’t do this anymore. I turn 18 in 2 months. Please tell me what i can do.

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there. Thanks for contacting NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step.

      It sounds like your relationship with mom has been pretty difficult, and we're sorry to hear that. Unfortunately because you're still a minor, mom is legally still responsible for you. If you're looking for something that you can do legally, there aren't many options at this point. From a time perspective, it might make sense for you to try and have a conversation with mom, noting how you're feeling about staying in a one bedroom apartment that you're not allowed to be in, perhaps even letting her know that you plan on leaving once you're 18, and seeing if she'll give you consent to stay elsewhere. If that's not something you're open to doing or it doesn't work out in your favor, you might have to stay put for a little while longer. While not ideal, it could give you a little more time to prepare for what's next and make sure that you have a solid plan in place.

      Beyond the above, leaving home without consent opens you up for other issues that you might not find worth the headache--a potential missing persons report or runaway report or legal ramifications for anyone who allows you to stay with them.

      If you'd like to chat in more detail about what's going on or continue to explore some of your options, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

      Take care.

      NRS
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