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  • i dont want to live with my parents and im 17

    I keep telling myself to just hold on ill almost be 18 but i can't take it anymore i don't want to be in my family or at least not in my parents house. I hate my dad so much, all he does is yell and scream about everything i do or just ignore me and that used to bother me a lot i used to cut my wrists because of it. But now i just try to not let him bother me but nothing has gotten better. I just feel like i don't belong in my family my two younger brothers are my parents whole life maybe because my mom had me at 19 and i wrecked their plans i don't know. But i can't take my dad anymore he's even threatened to put his hands on me before and he used to when i was little i just can't do this anymore. Sometimes my mom will stick up for me because he will get so crazy but then she doesn't i feel just so alone and like no understands . I know people go through a lot but all my friends have good relationships with their parents i just don't i try to be a good kid i do my best in school and in the sports i play but it's just never good enough.I want to run away but i don't know where to go and i have no money , my parents won't let me get a job or even my permit i'm forced to watch my brothers all the time and never get payed .I just have no idea where to go the only family member im close enough that i think would take me in moved all the way to flordia and i live in nj. I just don't know what i can do and i can't wait till i 18 it's just not an option the more im stuck in this house the more i want to cut myself again.

  • #2
    RE: I don't want to live with my parents and im 17

    Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are going through a lot at home with your parents and that you are feeling alone. That must be difficult.

    You mention that your dad yells at you a lot and you have dealt with it in the past by cutting yourself. It also sounds like you are thinking about cutting yourself again, but that you are also hesitant to do that. A good resource to help you find other ways of dealing with your stressful situation is www.twloha.org

    You also mentioned that your dad has threatened to put his hands on you and that he did when you were younger. You don’t deserve to be treated this way. If you want to file an abuse report, you can always call us and we can help support you through the process. Another resource to help you file an abuse report is Child Help USA (1-800-422-4453).

    It sounds like you are also considering running away and that home is not where you want to be. Our main concern is that you are safe. We are not legal experts, but we can speak in general terms about what could happen if you decided to leave home without parental permission. Generally the age of an adult is 18. If you were to leave home before then your parents could file a runaway report with the police. Running away is not a criminal offense, it is a status offense. This means that you cannot be arrested, just brought back home if found. However, anyone that you are staying with could be charged with harboring a runaway, which is a misdemeanor offense.

    Some things to think about if/when you leave are
    -Is where you are going safe?
    -What would you do if things ever become unsafe?
    -Do you have a trusted adult that you can talk to?
    -Do you have someone that is willing to take the risk of harboring a runaway?
    -What would you do if things ever became unsafe?
    -If you were forced to return home, what do you think that would look like?

    We’re really glad that you reached out to us. It sounds like there are a lot of different issues going on at home, and we encourage you to consider calling or chatting with us so we can talk more about the specifics of your situation and perhaps find more resources that you might find helpful. We’re here to listen, here to help.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      I’m about to be 17 soon. I currently am in the best living situation I’ve been in, in a long time I’m doing good in school. I’m finally away from my mom and all the terrible things she’s put me through but now she said I have to come home but I’m scared and I don’t want to live with her and have her put me through what I’ve been through already. She’s had well over 16 years to prove herself and be a mom and now all of a sudden she’s “changed” she’s “changed” before and she’s was talking to the man that abused me and my siblings. I don’t feel safe being in her custody. She continues to talk to strange men have sexual relationships with random men. I don’t need to be near that. How do I stay where I am, what do I do

      Comment


      • ccsmod6
        ccsmod6 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’ve been going through such a tough time, but we are here to support you and help you in any way we can. We want you to know that no one deserves to be abused, and you should not have to go through that. That sounds so stressful and hurtful to feel that you don’t have control over your life.
        We want you to know that if you ever feel that you are in danger, you could call 911 for immediate help. If you find yourself in an abusive situation in the future, you could consider reporting the abuse you’ve been experiencing again. If you want more information about abuse reporting or if you want to file a report, you could call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 or you could call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.

        If you haven’t already, you could consider reaching out to a trusted adult, relative, worker/teacher/counselor at your school for help and support We also have legal aid resources you could call to ask about specific laws in your state. You could also consider talking with a family member or your mom about how you’ve been feeling. Or you could have someone help you talk to them.
        There are also many resources that could help you work through conflict at home, find a safe place if you’re in need of that, or help you with anything else you may need. If you want to talk more about what’s been going on, or if you would like more information about resources, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.

        Again, thank you or contacting us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really hard time, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you ever need anything in the future, please feel free to call us or chat with us online. We’re always here to listen and here to help.
        Last edited by ccsmod6; 10-15-2017, 07:11 PM.

    • #4
      im currently 17 but im about to turn 18 in december and ive been having alot of arguments with my parents and i honestly dislike living with them, and my boyfriends family is really supportive of me and would take me in. but the issue is that my boyfriend is 18 and what if my parents call the cops on me and him and i honestly dont want him to get in any trouble. so what are my options? by the way i live in wisconsin

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. We are very sorry to hear that you and your parents have been arguing a lot lately. It sounds like you have been thinking about living with your boyfriend. We are not legal experts so we cannot say for sure what will happen if you parents call the police, but from what we know in the state of Wisconsin the legal age to move out without your parent’s consent is 18. If you decide to leave home before you turn 18, your parents have the right to file a runaway report. With a runaway report, if the police find you, they would return you home. Your boyfriend’s family could get in trouble for harboring a runaway if they allowed you to stay with them before you turn 18. However, since you are so close to turning 18, your local police department may not accept a runaway report for you. You could contact your local police department and ask if they accept runaway reports for 17 year olds. If you don’t feel comfortable calling yourself, we could call for you. If you would like additional information or have any further question, please feel free to contact us directly via phone (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

    • #5
      Im 17 my parents are divorced and me and my sister live with my mom and her husband and visit my dad every two weeks my moms husband is a jerk and he treats ne and my younger sister horrible compared to their kids and im scared to go home tomorrow my aunt told me to call 911 and tell them im scared to go home and i dont know if they will do anything ive been told that they will make us go home and tell my dad to open a case in court about it what do i do i really dont want to go home?!

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
        Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
        If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
        We hope to hear from you soon.

        Be safe,
        NRS

    • #6
      "I'm 17 and I want to live alone!!!"

      After many years of family problems, I beleive that as long as I can become emancipated, then I can have a life I've always wanted but never had.

      I dont want to talk about how my life is at home but I beleive that if I was to live on my own then I can provide for myself for needs like groceries and clothes. I also believe that not living with my family can help me become a better person for myself and maybe slow down on the self-harm.

      I did set myself to graduate early so I can be ahead of time and in college but my mother cant even provide for herself she does have her car that I take to school and back, but no home. We are being forced to stay with one of my brothers so that me and my sibling wont go to a children's home and my mom wont go to jail for 2 years(long story)but living with my brother was a very bad mistake.

      I have many problems with myself I've noticed due to my family/family problems. Because of past experiences, I have problems with the way I view my future um this paragraph was supposed to be about me um I shouldn't torture myself to that extent.

      Being 17 and minor I must live with my mother I am completely aware of that but the only thing is, is that we've been struggling so bad for as far as I can remember. My family is a bit split up because of bad times and I understand that it's easier being independent us kids (my siblings) trying to help ourselves while we still can, getting away from home trying to stay away from what we call home.

      I'm not a bad kid I'm very respectful and I never judge people and I've never hated anyone. When it comes to debates I'll always respect one another's opinion and I take people stories and lives into consideration as if I put myself into their shoes. But the only thing stopping me is that I don't know if i should suicide or just leave home and then decide if am I really okay am I not depressed can I make it a couple more years, maybe set small goals, maybe go out or start a series.

      LONG STORY SHORT IM 17 AND TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM MY FAMILY BY LIVING RESPONSIBILY ALONE but maybe I'm just running from myself and from what haunts me the most.

      Comment


      • ccsmod5
        ccsmod5 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi,
        Thank you for your post. You sound like a very mature, resourceful, and resilient young person with a big heart. It sounds like there’s a lot going on with your family, which must be stressful. It’s understandable that you would want to get away from the situation. You deserve to feel safe, supported, and loved by your family!
        You mention that you’re considering suicide; you also mention self-injury and depression. We’re glad that you shared this with us. It takes a lot of courage to be honest about where you are. You are not alone in this! There is support and love out there—you deserve that. If you ever feel like you’re in danger of suicide, you can always call 9-1-1. You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. We encourage you to confide in friends or adults that you trust, like teachers or guidance counselors. It could also be an option to talk with a therapist if you aren’t already. You can find mental health resources and support and SAMHSA: 1-877-726-4727 or through NAMI: 1-800-950-NAMI.
        Regarding moving out, you would need permission from your legal guardian to live elsewhere. We’re not certain of the details of your situation, but perhaps your mother would understand the stress of living with your brother and give you permission to stay with a friend or other family member. If you need help having that conversation, we do offer conflict mediation here at NRS through phone. If you’re interested in that service, feel free to call us at 1-800-786-2929. That being said, we understand if it’s not a possibility to ask for permission. You mention emancipation as an option; that is a question for a lawyer. If you need legal resources, feel free to call!
        Thank you again for your email. We wish you the very best! If you need any additional resources or just need someone to listen or help think through your options, we are always here for you at 1-800-786-2929. We hope to hear from you,
        NRS

    • #7
      I'm 17 turning 18 next september. I ran away from home and when i came back last night my mom told me i need to find away out of her house. the problem is i dont have a job or a place to stay. If i dont get out she will send me to a military boot camp till im 18. I want to find a place to stay i applyed for a job so i hope i will start work soon.
      Last edited by ccsmod7; 12-05-2019, 01:49 PM. Reason: identifying info

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you so much for reaching out! These situations can sometimes be difficult to talk about, so we understand that reaching out takes a lot of courage. It sounds like you are in a difficult spot right now. It seems like your mom wants you to leave, but you don’t really have a lot of options.

        If you are wanting to stay at home, parents who kick their children out could be found as neglectful if you decided to report that. If this is something you also are wanting, maybe you can think about family and friends you have in the area that would be willing to house you temporarily until you got on your feet.

        If none of those seem like possible options for you, here at NRS we may be able to locate some youth transitional living programs in your area. These types of programs help youth with housing, education, and jobs while teaching them skills to stay independent. Many of them will keep youth anywhere from 6 to 18 months. If you called us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we would be happy to support you by seeing if there were any of these available in your area.

        We really appreciate you reaching out. We hope that some of this helps as you decide what your next steps are. If you need to talk through your situation, brainstorm more options, or you are interested in us trying to help find you a place to go please feel free to reach out to us via phone or live chatting through our website.

        Best of luck,

        NRS

    • #8
      I am a 17 year old girl. If I ran away from home I would not be able to afford the high school I go to for my senior year. My whole life I have been on an emotional rollercoaster. From I can't even remember which ages I was molested by a cousin who is very close to the family preset day. It has always felt like I am just waiting for the next time my dad will hate me again. Several times, since elementary school, I have had to stand for an hour or more while my dad ranted about all the things he hates about me and then all the things he hates. I don't know how I became the enemy. Literally TODAY we had a good conversation, and were laughing and talking, then minutes before I started writing this I hear my dad talking crap about me to my mom while she has him on speakerphone because he is at work. I know many people would be fine with taking me under their roof. I just wish my parents would be direct. If you don't love me, just say it. I have a cousin staying with us and they see her as an exemplar daughter. If that's who they prefer then just say it, but this rollercoaster -- that's what hurts me. I used to say the only reason I haven't committed suicide is because it would hurt my parents, but now I don't even care. I am going to keep pushing, keep trying to make something for myself, and if I say I give up, then I give up. Because I am over it.

      Comment


      • ccsmod13
        ccsmod13 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thank you so much for taking the time to write NRS a post on our Bulletin and for sharing your story. From what you shared it sounds like home has not been the safe or supportive space that you deserve. It is very unfair of your parents to compare you to your cousins. You are your own person and being different than others can be a good thing. It is not okay for them to place these expectations on you. Making a commitment to continue to push your self and strive to accomplish your goals shows your strength and courage. It is admirable that you are determined to find ways to overcome the hurt and abuse you have had to endure.

        You mentioned that you have had thoughts about suicide and giving up. We want you to know that we truly want to be a support for you as you navigate this challenging time and you do not have to take your next steps alone. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 (www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org) is always available if you need someone to talk to about how you have been feeling. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You deserve to feel supported throughout this and to have outlets to express yourself. Another helpful resource is the National Sexual Assault Hotline, rainn.org 1-800-656-4673. You can speak with a trained crisis counselor about your experiences and healing process.

        You do have the option to get a social worker from child protective services involved to help. This would require making a child abuse report to detail the emotional abuse from your parents as well as any lack of action to address your cousin molesting you. There is an organization called Child Help which advocates for young people in unsafe or unhealthy situations. You can contact them at 1-800-422-4453 or go to childhelp.org to talk more about the reporting process.

        Leaving home can be a big decision to make, but we want you to know that we are here to listen and help as much as possible. The easiest way to leave home as a minor is with your parents’ permission. In this case, they would be allowing you to live somewhere else where you are safe and being cared for. A helpful step is to start reaching out to friends and family members you might be able to stay with. Sometimes having an adult advocate on your side can make communicating your needs more effective to your parents. Perhaps an adult family member, a friend's parent or a counselor at school can talk to your parents with you about your experience at home and the possibility of you leaving.

        Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

    • #9
      I’m 17 and I don’t want to live with my family anymore I’ve been to stressed out and I just wanna runaway. I wanna live with a friend in another state and I know my mom will not approve, but I just don’t wanna live here anymore I’m sick and tired of being here. Sometimes I also want to kill my self.

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello There,
        Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, and sharing your feelings with us. It takes great courage to reach out and we are so glad that you decided to reach out to us. It sounds like you have been going through a hard time, and we want you to know you are not alone we are here to help.
        We know you mentioned wanting to run away, we are not legal experts but we can tell you what may happen if you do decide to leave home. Because you are still considered a minor your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they most likely would bring you back home. Sometimes police may not take a runaway report for a 17 year old but it depends on the police department.
        You also mentioned suicide, and it can be difficult to deal with those thoughts alone and we want you to know you do not have to be alone in this. Your life is valuable and you are worth living. Suicide is a permanent decision to a temporary situation. If you are feeling suicidal or just need someone to talk to please call The National Suicide Prevention Hotline at: 1800-273-8255.
        We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to explore options, please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to help and support you. Best of luck!
        NRS
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