I'm eighteen and can't handle being at home anymore.

[Unregistered]

I recently turned 18 in January. All my life, my mom has been so mean and abusive, but I would never want to report her for abuse. I attend college now, but it is paid for as I am on full scholarship. My mom expects me to keep the house spotless. I don't have a problem cleaning the house, but the whole day, I am anxious about her coming home. Usually, I'll clean the house the best I can, and she will come home from work and start yelling at me about how it isn't perfect and that I'm "worthless" or "useless" or "stupid". She tells me I'm ugly and fat and immature. I have a 12 year old sister, but she doesn't help do anything around the house. She actually makes everything worse. She argues about everything and puts me down and tries to get me into trouble by making up lies. We argue everyday. The relationship between me and my mom is terrible. Sometimes she won't even talk to me. I get so nervous about her coming home from work everyday especially when I have to clean, that it gives me chest pain. I have been to the doctor because of this, and they said it is probably anxiety, but my wont accept that and blames it on me. I tried to live with my grandma, but she recently built a house 30 feet from ours and moved in so it doesn't do any good to live with her. I talked to my dad about all of this and he hates it, but if he tries to talk to my mom, she blames all of it on him and yells at him, and I feel bad for him. Then she yells at me for "telling on her" and makes it worse on me. I want to leave so bad. My boyfriend and his family already said I can come live with them, and they will even get me a car. I can get insurance through my new job. My mom hates the way my boyfriend lives because his house isn't spotless so I know she'll be furious if I go. My dad will be devastated. My boyfriend is working and currently saving money so we can buy a house of our own one day. Sometimes I think it would be better for my happiness and my health to move out, but I don't know what my parents will do. I don't need them to pay for anything if I leave. I just don't know what to do at this point.

[ccsmod0]

re: I'm eighteen and can't handle being at home anymore.

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out today and sharing a bit of your story with us. It sounds like you are going through so much at home right now. You never deserve to be treated the way that your mom treats you. You deserve to live in a place where you are valued and celebrated. It sounds like it’s a really frustrating and overwhelming place to live to say the least. It was smart of you to reach out, so let’s see how we can help you out.

It sounds like you’re struggling with deciding what to do. Our number one goal is your safety. It sounds like you have a plan in place of where you can live and how you can support yourself. That’s really impressive. It’s great that you’re so independent. In terms of coming to a decision, one tip that might be good is lay out (actually write out – it can be cheesy, but it can actually work) a list of pros and cons. Once you come to a decision, then working out how to deal with whatever consequences com up. For example, if you decide to move in with your boyfriend, then thinking through how to address that with your dad and your mom. If you decide to stay, then thinking through how you can be supported and safe at home.

It’s definitely not an easy decision to make, and it’s great that you’re thinking through your options. If you want to talk more through anything at all, please call or chat with us. You can call us 24 hours a day at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our website (www.1800runaway.org) from 4.30pm-11.30pm central time.

We look forward to your call or chat.

Good luck!

NRS