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I want to live with my grandparents

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  • I want to live with my grandparents

    I'm only just turning 12 in a few months but I hate my home life. My parents are forever treating me as though I'm worth nothing. My dad is the worst, he tells me off for anything; if I shrug my shoulders he tells me I'm being an ignorant brat. My younger brother (who's just turned 9) is spoilt and for example, today, he went in the shower after me and I was drying my hair with the towel and he got shampoo in his eyes and mouth and shouted for the towel. I told him there was already one in the bathroom but he insisted on having the one I needed. He shouted at me when I got there because he had nudged the temperature changing thing and turned it to really hot. He blamed this on me. My parents later came up and instead of telling my brother off for cursing me when he was a 9 year old. They shouted at me for having the towel with me. My dad shouted and his veins literally popped out of the sides of his head. He told me it was my fault because I went to a sleepover and didn't go to sleep. He always laughs at me and shouts if I cry but this time I couldn't hold it in. I am desperate to live with my grandparents who live a 15 minute walk away from me. My mum will probably cry because she'll feel bad for not treating me right but my dad will just shout at me and call me a stupid girl. I'm really confused at what to do. I just want a fresh start to life. What should I do?

  • #2
    Hi, thank you for posting on our forum! Your home life sounds very difficult with all the shouting and anger from your father. We are sorry you have to live with all that conflict. If you feel you are being abused in any way (verbally, emotionally, physically) or neglected from food or basic needs, you always have the right to make an abuse report. Child Help (the national child abuse hotline) can help you with that and get custody transferred to a safe adult, like your grandma. Child Help: 1-800-422-4453, We can also help you talk to your parents in a conference call if you think having a third party may help the situation. It sounds like maybe your mom may be open to talking and sometimes having a third person in the conversation can help.
    You are really brave for hanging on so long. You are so young to have to deal with all of this. We are here 24/7 to answer your call at 1-800-786-2929 and are available daily by live chat on our website (4:30-11:30pm central time).
    Be well and thank you for reaching out! Best of luck!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!


    • #3
      I’m 17 years old about to graduate with in less then a mont and my dad has full costudy of me and I live with him and my step mom they treat me like crap and say I don’t do anything I struggle with depression and I go to school and work and my real mom is not involved in my life anymore and I would like to mom in with my grandparents and I don’t know if my dad will let me leave or not


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Leaving home is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

        We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if you do opt to leave your home your dad can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned to your dad. Given the fact that you are so close to 18, the police may or may not choose to make you return home, it might be worthwhile to call the nonemergency police number (311) to see what their policy is regarding older runaways.

        You mentioned that you have been struggling with depression; it can be really hard to live with mental health issues and we want you to know that you aren’t alone in addressing them. If you’d like some additional support, an organization that may be helpful is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). You can contact them by calling 1-800-950-NAMI or you can text them by sending NAMI to 741741. Another agency that could be of great help is the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), they can help you locate low or no cost mental health care providers in your area. Their number is 1-877-726-4727 or you can go to their site at

        If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

        All the best,

    • #4
      Well I just turned 12.. and I’m not happy where I live, I was born in WV, and then my mom moved out to CA because of my grandpa having cancer, she told me and my brother that we would move back to WV 2-3 years later. they are all lies, my mom isn’t abusive, my mom couldn’t be a better mom, but she doesn’t understand my body is in shock.. my dad passed away a couple months after I moved out there.. I just hate living out there soo much it gives me depression :/


      • ccsmod13
        ccsmod13 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you have been going through a lot of difficult changes in the past few years. We’re sorry to hear that you’ve been experiencing depression and about your dad passing away. These feelings are totally okay to have and it’s really brave of you to reach out for help. You seem to really trust your mom and know she cares about you but still feel like she doesn’t understand what you’ve been going through. It might be helpful to talk with your mom, another adult, or even a friend about how you’ve been feeling. Having that conversation can be scary, but you are welcome to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY so we can help you think about how you might want to go about talking to someone. If you would like, you can also reach out to the National Alliance on Mental Illness at 1-800-950-NAMI to talk about some of the depression you’ve been feeling. Living with your grandparents seems like it could be a good idea as well. That is a big decision to make and will probably mean having to talk about it with your family. We are here 24/7 and are happy to talk through any of your options with you.

        Stay Strong,

    • #5
      I want to live with my nana and papa because my mom never cares for her and always stays with my step dad and always says things to her and he sees other people And she doesn’t care for me she only wants to be with him and I am starting to think about suicide but my grandma always cheers me up and my mom never does that


      • ccsmod0
        ccsmod0 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your mom's permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend (or your nana and papa) who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your mom. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

        It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
        Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

        Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

        Be safe,


    • #6
      I’m 12 I have these friends I hang out with that let me borrow her vans and my dad was so mad he was sweating and he was hitting me with everything that he can find and I wanted to stay at my friends but her car broke so I had to go to my friend house Bc I didn’t have a ride and my parents never believe me so I can’t really tell them nothing so I came home at 1:00 am and then my dad hurt me I was screaming and my mom was just sitting there looking at me and then she was like you deserve it [name deleted] then my dad pulled my hair. They was calling me names my parents always yells at me and I have a lil 11 year old brother they pay more attention to him. I want to live with my grandpa but I’m scared to ask my mom and dad
      Last edited by ccsmod15; 11-28-2019, 01:06 PM. Reason: Edited youth's name to preserve anonymity


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment

        Thank you for contacting us here at the National Runaway Safeline today. We are so sorry to hear that you’re dealing with such a scary and difficult situation with your parents. It take a lot of courage to reach out for help…you’re clearly very brave. We hope you realize that you do not deserve to be treated like this; you deserve to feel safe and cared for in your own home. We also hope you realize that what you’re experiencing is considered abuse, and you may want to consider reporting it to the police or Child Protective Services. You can do this by calling Child Help which is the National Child Abuse Hotline, and their number is 1-800-422-4453. You can also call us at NRS, and we can talk with you about what you’re going through, and we can help you report the abuse if you want. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929). We’re here 24 hours a day/7days a week. You can also contact us on our live chat which you can find on our website,

        You ask about living with your grandpa. If you’re in contact with him, you could tell him what’s going on and ask for his help. You could also tell a teacher or other adult that you trust; they would likely be willing to help you as well. And please remember that you can always call 911 if you feel you’re in physical danger.

        As we said earlier, we’re available 24/7, and we’re here to listen and help. We hope to hear from you soon.

        Take care,
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