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19 year old "running away"

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  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thanks for reaching out; we are glad that you did.
    It sounds like things have been really hard at home for a long time, but you made it through with your diploma. Great job, for sure!
    If you call our hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY, or chat us through this website, we can determine whether there are any long-term options for young adults. These are called Transitional Living Programs (TLP's).
    We do work best when we can have a conversation with you, so we hope to hear from you soon.
    Sincerely,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I want to leave without anybody knowing because of physacal and mental abuse but I have nowhere to go. I have my SSID,State ID, diploma and birth certificate. Then again I don't want to be homeless. I'm in California so what should I do any ideas?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). You’re very brave for sharing your situation with us and we thank you for opening up about the issues you’re facing at home. We’re very sorry to hear that you’re experiencing these troubles with your family and the anxiety it’s causing you. Please know that you deserve to be loved and cared for and that your life is worth living. We are here to support and listen to you to the best of our ability.

    Since you are 19, in most states you are considered a legal adult and if you left home, there’s very little your family could do about it in terms of legal action. You would be able to continue going to high school where you are and go stay wherever you’d like. This could be with a friend or separate family member. If you are struggling to find a place to stay, please chat or call in and we can try to locate a shelter nearby. We understand things are difficult, but again, your life is worth living and you will be able to make it through this. If you ever have thoughts about or are wanting to attempt to kill yourself again, please know that there are people who can help you through it. You don’t have to face it alone. You can always chat in with us or reach out to The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). They are a 24-hour, toll-free, confidential suicide prevention hotline available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.

    NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you, so if you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

    We wish you the best of luck and hope to hear from you soon.

    Be safe and take care,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hey My name Is Daisha and I am 19 and I am having family issues and I am planning on running off sometime because i am A loser to my family and because I am always into fights then I try to kill myself due to me feeling like a burden to my family and to myself. I am wondering I am a senior in high school what would happen if I ran off tonight or sometime soon???

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out to NRS, we're sorry to hear that your son has not been answering your calls and that he did not come home for his college break. Because he is over 18, he is most likely considered a legal adult, and therefore does not need permission to travel or go anywhere independently, but we understand your concern that he has not been in communication with you for a while. If you believe that your son could be in an emergency situation, we suggest that you contact your local police department or the police department that serves the area that your son's school is in. We hope that your son is safe and that you hear from him soon. If you want to discuss more about the situation we suggest live chatting with us at www.1800runaway.org; or calling us at 1 (800) 786-2929.

    Stay safe,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    My son just turned 19 yrs old. He was suppose to come home for Christmas break from college. I found out that he left school with a friends father and it’s someone I don’t know. And now he hasn’t come home or return my calls. Just so you know he didn’t leave a abusive house. Can you please help me. Thank you

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,



    Thank you for contacting NRS. It seems like you are unsure about moving out after finishing school. Something inside of you knows that you can do this, despite whatever your dad may say about you, or what your mother may have put you through as well. It is definitely unknown territory so it’s understandable to be hesitant, even for those most capable.



    It sounds like you are getting ready to embark on a new chapter of your life. It’s very resourceful of you to have done so much research before taking on the steps to move out, figure out how to make a living, and manage the emotions that may come with those changes. If you haven't already, don't forget that you can possibly use school resources, trusted friends, family and/or other trusted adults as a support system as well during this time.



    If you feel like you need more guidance brainstorming options of local resources in your area, or even if you want to vent about the emotions in more detail please feel free to call us here at 24-Hour Crisis Hotline at 1-800-Runaway, or the 24 hour crisis chat at www.1800Runaway.org, or the crisis email at [email protected].

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi. I'm here with a similar story but i need an advice. My parents got divorced when I was very young. I am currently living with my dad, but I also had a good relationship with my mom till now. Some stuff happened and she proved that she doesn't love me and doesn't care about me at all. The point is my dad. I think he has some sort of anger issues or something. He treats me like I am a child. He always says that i should start behaving more like a grown person, but whenever I take decission all myself, he is making a problem because ''I should ask him about everything". Also few days ago he found out that I smoke and he is already mad at me, sooo much. This is the point when i understood I should leave him asap. He always guilt trip me and I think he is doing some kind of manipulation to me, because he always defends his point and accuse me of lying even tho im telling the thruth. There were cases that he grounded me just because he thinks I've done a certain thing, even tho he thought of it and is accusing me for a lie he created. He has always been alwful with me. I remember him once telling me "I'm proud''. Only once... And I did so much. I become the mom at home, I wash the dishes, clean, I do literally everything, my school grades are the best, I am very good student and my school marks are pretty high. I get home by 10pm. He orders me around some stuff, and I do them. He still thinks I am failure. There are so much things he accuses me of and I am tired of fighting and defending myself againts a person who tries his best to let you down. I am recently doing a lot of researches about moving out. Ill be finishing shool this year, I am 18 years old. After I finish i am planning on renting small appartment and getting a job. But I have never had a job, I never did such a thing without asking him. If I ask him he will not let me do it, and since im legal age and i can do whatever i want, there wont be problem. The only thing is that its kinda hard and I am scared how the things will go. I am reading a lot rn and I am educating myself, so I can move out prepared. I am not sure if its sensible decission and I have no idea what to do. Should I really do it. I am scared and alone in this so I need some advice. Should I really move out after I finish school? My dad is toxic and I can't stand it, I've taken enough. I am willing to get some advices from you. Thank you in advance!

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws, the police, and legal policies.

    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. Since you are 19, it is technically legal for you to leave home without parental permission. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions, along with questions about getting your belongings from home. In regards to suing your parents, you are able to sue your parents for issues such as neglect or failure to provide food / medical care. In most cases, you will need evidence of their lack of care, and the process can take lengthy amounts of time. Legal aid may also be a helpful resource for more information on this.

    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

    Be safe,

    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi i'm 19 years old and still in high school this is my last year. I can not deal with my parents anymore they treat me like a child like if i'm 13 years old I need help if I was to leave the house and find a phone can I call the cops and tell them that I want to get the rest of my things for there can they come with me to get my things. I also have another question can I sue my parents at 19 years old.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. 
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We are so sorry to hear that you have experienced sexual violence. You do not deserve to have this happen to you, and you deserve to be believed and supported. One really great resource for all survivors of sexual assault or abuse is RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network). You can call them any time 24/7 at 1-800-656-4673, or go to www.rainn.org to use their online hotline. RAINN is the National Sexual Assault Hotline and has a lot of services, support and resources that you may find helpful.

    Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live.  We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living.

    You can contact NRS anytime by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY or through the live chat if you would like to talk more or want help searching for housing resources in your area.

    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I’m 19 years old and I need to leave home for good. My parents are extremely emotionally and mentally abusive towards me and they are very controlling. They constantly treat me like a child and make all my decisions for me and I’m not allowed to say anything or question them. I’m not allowed to talk to anyone outside of my family, I’m not allowed to wear certain clothes, I’m not allowed to wear any makeup, and I’m not allowed to make any decisions by myself and I mean from little things like what I’m allowed to buy to things like using certain toothpaste. I’m also not allowed to get a job and I don’t have a car because they don’t trust me. They are very very religious and my father has been sexually abusing me for years and none of my family members believe. It has recently stopped but my mother has made me delete the little proof I had. I don’t have friends that I can stay with except maybe my friend from high school but we barely talk because I have to be sneaky so my parents don’t find out. I don’t know for sure if her parents would let me stay with them and I don’t have anywhere else to go. I don’t want to live on the streets because it is very dangerous but since I am 19 I don’t know if there are any youth programs that would help me. I don’t know where to go or what to do is there any advice?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. You made a great first step to finding the help that you may need. It sounds like you are going through a lot, its good to know you have a friend who is being supportive. You deserve to be treated with respect, to experience acceptance and to feel safe.

    We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. You’re bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/

    You mentioned that you were considering the options that may be best for you. By all means, if you do fear for your safety either now or in the future, do not hesitate to take the necessary steps to regain your safety. This may mean calling the authorities or possibly reporting the things you may be experiencing. Other options to think about may be other family members or friends that would be able to provide you with support or a safe place to stay. It is great that you thinking ahead. Should you feel like leaving your campus is best, it may be a good idea to think about how you will provide necessities for yourself such as food, clothing, showers, healthcare and other basic needs. You may want to also consider how your parent’s will react to you leaving. Since you are 19, your considered an adult in most states so you wouldn’t have to worry too much about runaway laws but we do offer a message service over the phone to leave messages such as “I’m safe” to your parents if you would like to update them indirectly.

    If you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or reach out through Live Chat we can try to find some youth shelters that may be near your city and state by utilizing our database of resources. We can also try to call out to shelters with you or on your behalf to advocate for you.

    Stay Strong,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    im 19 years old, and ive decided to run away from my college. due to the private college i attend, i am not accepted for my sexual orientation. i recently got in a lot of trouble and decided to spill something about someone who hurt me because i knew i was going to leave. i am currently talking to a friend about living with her in another state. i have a friend here who knows where i will be and that i will be safe, im planning to disconnect my phone and ive written a letter that i will leave on my bed here at my college. im planning on leaving tomorrow. my parents do not know and im not planning to tell them. they'll find out through the letter. is there any advice?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod8
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway (NRS). We’re sorry you’re experiencing trouble at home.

    You're asking a good question. We aren't legal experts, but we are able to speak generally as to what might happen if you decide leave without your mom's permission. In many states that age of majority is 18 and over. You will have to check with age is considered the age of majority “legal adult” for your state. That means you gain legal responsibility for yourself and that you get to do what you want with your money and you get to decide where you want to live. If you do decide to leave, your mom has the right to file a missing person report with the police, but they would not make you go back home. Usually what you would have to do with a missing person’s report is just call the police station and tell them that you are not actually missing. Your mom doesn’t have any legal rights to make you come back home.

    Now, that doesn’t mean that there won’t be any consequences for leaving. Thinking through what that will do to your relationship with your mother can be a good next step for you. It’s great that you’re working through what happens next. Additionally, if there are items that your mother and purchased and you want to take them that will be a conversation that the two of you must analyze to see what the best course of action is. Another option to consider is a conference call. This is service that we provide if you feel you need a third party on the line while having a conversation with your mom. Communicating how you feel to your family is not always easy and we would be happy to provide support.

    We hope this helps you make an informed decision. If you‘d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen support you in any way we can.
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