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I can't take this anymore HELP!

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  • I can't take this anymore HELP!

    I'm 15 years old, and I came to the U.S 3 and a half years ago to live with my mom, things didn't started so well in the beginning, we had some problems, she wasn't patient with me, she will always complain if I did something wrong like not washing a dish, or forgetting to clean my room or something like that and she will always make a big deal out of it, but my family told her that she had to be patient and that I was gonna change, another problem we have is that I never go out with her and my stepfather on weekends, and that makes my mom angry because I'm always alone at home, and the reason I don't go out with them anymore is because when I used to go out with them, I would be one minute late or would order something thinking I was going to eat it but at the end I didn't or small things like that and she will say to me to not go out the next time with them because I ruined her day because she would yell at me if I did one of the things mentioned before, and like I said I stopped going out with them, another problem we have is that I don't have a lot of communication with her, and that doesn't help a lot in our coexistence, but the reason that I don't tell her what happens in my life is because in the past when I used to tell her something personal, she will bring it up when she was angry at me, and that hurt me, so I stopped telling her about my problems, but she doesn't know that that's the main reason why I don't have a good communication with her because I don't want her to think she's the bad of the movie (although that might be the way I'm describing her now.) Our problems didn't solve over the years, one of the reasons is that there was a point in my life where I didn't care if she would yell at me for not doing what I had to do, and that a huge mistake, we always had the same problems, me not cleaning the house, or having a mess in my room, not finishing my hw on time, and I always thought it wasn't her business if I finish my hw on time or not because it was my problem not hers, same thing with the mess of my room, but after we had a big fight months ago is when I realized I should care about what my mom thinks, so I started trying to do the things I had to, but my mom will always piss off for things I forgot to do like putting dishes in their place after I washed them, or cleaning the living room or things like that ,but she was kind of right, anyway, she's not a bad mom, she just wanted me to do EVERY single thing that she wanted at the time she wanted it the way she wanted it, and honestly I can't do it that way, but like I said before, she's not a bad mom, she just has a REALLY bad temper, but she has always taken care of me, but things are a disaster right now because 2 weeks ago she and my step-dad bought me the new samsung s6 edge for my birthday, and last Friday someone stole it during lunch when I was with my friends, my mom was so angry when she found out about it ( and I don't blame her) and started asking who was with me at the moment that happened, I told her I was with my friends, who most of them are 16 year old guys and one 17 year old guy, and she was PISSED OFF because she found out most of my friends were guy friends and she started suspecting they were the ones who stole my phone, and I seriously doubted it because they don't seem like the kind of people who would do that but when my mom has something in mind NOBODY can change her opinion, she started calling some of them and asking if they had seen it, but they said they didn't, and she forbade me to keep talking to them which hurt me at the beginning because they will always make my bad days better with their sense of humor. She gave me 2 options either stop hanging out with them or change schools, and I decided to change school to where my best friend goes, but then I regretted my decision and decided to stay, now my mom will always say to me "your "friends" must have made a lot of money selling your phone" or " how could you have been so stupid to allow your "friends" to steal your phone" or "why were you so stupid to hang out with a bunch of gangsters" but she says it in such a mean and sarcastic way that it makes me very angry, and she insinuates that I acted like a slut around them and we talked about dirty things, and we did dirty things and THAT IS NOT TRUE, no, just because they are guys doesn't mean that I wanna have something with them, I just liked hanging out with them because guys aren't as dramatics as we girls are, but my mom cam't understand that, and now she will always be angry at me, yelling, insulting me, and she doesn't trust me that I would stop talking to them, and she would say that she's angry because I challenged her by saying I would rather change school than stop talking to them and I seriously never did it with that intention, and she would tell me how sick and tired she's of me ( she had said that before, but not as frequently as now) and how I make her miserable, like she makes me so happy, and thank God I'm leaving to El Salvador this Summer, but still I can't take her anymore, I hate her snarky comments, and I hate that my friends might not be responsible for my stolen phone and I might be ending a friendship that made me so happy (maybe I'm too innocent but that's how I felt around them) and I hate how everyone supports me except her, and I hate that she's acting like my enemy, and I've been thinking about running away because she's acting all **********y and is making my life miserable, and I don't want to go live with my dad in El Salvador because I don't wanna leave my school and my education because I really want to graduate, and get a job, and get the hell out of this house and get a roommate and our own apartment, for my mom and I of to have a calm life without each other... and... I honestly don't know how to make things better between us at this point because everything's out of my hands and I don't know what to do, and I need your advice PLEASE, what do I do to make things better with my mom?

  • #2
    Re: I can't take this anymore HELP!

    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runway Safeline. It sounds like things at home with your mom have been really tough and we are sorry to hear about this. We’re glad that you reached out, we’re here to listen and help the best that we can.

    So you shared a lot here with us and we’re really glad that you feel capable of opening up. It seems like talking about all of what’s been going on has been helpful to you. It sounds like your mom has been really hard to communicate with. It sounds like you believe that she is a good mom, but she just has a bad temper. It is really good that you have this respect for your mom and her role in your home, it sounds like you just would like to be able to have better communication with her. It has got to be really hard hearing comments about friends that you enjoy being around and having to deal with some judgmental views that she has shared. One service we offer here is conference calling. If you were to call us here at National Runaway Safeline, we could make a call out to your legal guardian and facilitate a conference call to make sure that both of you are equally heard in what you want to communicate.

    It sounds like you have some wonderful goals set for yourself, wanting to graduate, get a job and move out on your own. These are all really great things to strive for. It sounds like you are a trying your best to work towards these goals, and help communicating this to your mom might be useful. Another option is to have another trusted individual be an unbiased third party in a conversation between the two of you. Someone like a trusted teacher, school counselor or even family counselor. If this is something you would like to explore further, you can call us at 1800runaway and we can explore local resources to you.

    Please do not hesitate to reach out to us to talk further. We’re here 24/7 to listen and support you as much as we can.

    Best of luck,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
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