I'm overwhelmed and absolutely sick of my relationship with my mother

[Guest]

I'm almost 19 and I want to leave home so damn bad.

Ever since I was little, my mother has been emotionally/psychologically abusive: calling names, yelling, swearing, belittling etc. Whenever I would tell her how I felt, she would either reject the idea/conversation or laugh in my face. I have tried many times to show her that I feel hurt and I don't like how our relationship is but she never listens. She always turns the conversation on herself and she's victimizing herself, saying that she sacrificed everything for me - she did not, the only thing she did for me was pay for my food, clothes, rent, she never cared about my feelings and mind. The latter matters more to me than any toy, book, piece of clothing she could possibly buy.

I'm at a loss honestly. I tried to talk to her calmly, I tried to make myself as clear as possible. It didn't work. I tried to just let her yell and not respond at all, didn't work. I tried to yell back and act the same way she does, didn't work. I do not know how else to fix this. I can't fix this since she doesn't want to cooperate.

I am ready to leave but I do not know how to do it to cause the least amount of trouble, fight and hurt. How do i do that?

[ccsmod16]

Hi,

Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS! It sounds like you are in a very frustrating situation with your mom and we are really sorry to hear that. We are going to talk about a few options and you are always welcome to reach out to us (1-800-RUNAWAY) and we can talk further about these options but, we can explore other options as well.

Firstly, you do not deserve to be treated like that by your mother. You deserve to be treated with respect and abuse of any form is a very hard situation to be in. We are not here to define abuse but, if you feel that you are being abused you are always welcome to make a report. Child abuse reporting can have a few outcome and is a process that we can definitely help explain if you would like. We are here 24/7 so don’t hesitate to give us a call or use our online chat system and we can explain further about child abuse reporting and Child Protective Services.

Another thing you can think about is reaching out to your mom in a different way. It sounds like you have been in a tough spot with your mom with communication where she doesn’t cooperate and communicate with the same way you would like. Your feelings are completely valid. You can maybe explore trying to talk to her with a third party to see if that could help. Bringing in a friend, family member, or trusted adult like a school counselor or teacher could help your mom open up to communication. Having a third party could help your mom see how her actions have been affecting you and help communicate without belittling or yelling when a third party is present.

Keep in mind that the National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. IT looks like you might be in Romania. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use a youth helpline in or around your country. Looks like the Child Helpline in Romania is called “Telefonul Copilului” and this is their website (http://www.telefonulcopilului.ro/). You can visit for more information.

You are very brave to talk about what has been going on and we really hope to hear from you soon.
Best, NRS