What do i do????

[Guest]

I guess I'll try to keep this short.

I'm 13 and my family has been ********ed up for a long long time. History of abuse, depression and anxiety, divorce, and alcoholism, including my mom. She was always crazy and neglectful when I was a kid but got too many DUY's and injured someone while driving under the influence and it thrned into a felony. She had to go to rehab (court ordered) for about a year and a half. She's been home for a year and doesn't drink anymore but is still a bit crazy. So is my dad now. For years, not a day has gone by where I'm not yelled at for absolutely not reason or for my mental illnesses which i cannot control. I was forced to go into inpatient hospitalization in a psych ward (51-50) and I've been out for around a month and a half now but it's not getting too much better. I've tried running away before (a few weeks ago) and my family sistuation is just worsening. I keep self-harming and getting into drugs and my friends are hating me for it. I hate my school and my city. Everybody hates me here too, genuinely. I'm too much of an outcast and my sexuality has been outed before (I'm a lesbian). The other kids in group therapy hate me too. Even in the hospital i was more ********ed up than everybody else and I couldn't relate with them. I dont think im technically being abused but my parents have made me feel like absolute ******** for years and its just getting worse.

I feel like I'm absolutely stuck. Trapped here. I'm so depressed I know i wont graduate high school when i get to it (8th grade). I have no hope for the future at all. What can I even do about this????? I don't think i can do anythjng

[ccsmod6]

Hi thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS! We first want to thank you for sharing what has been going on. It takes a lot of strength to talk some of the things you mentioned and we want to say that it really sounds like you have gone through a lot. We are going to talk about a few options and you are always welcome to call us here (1-800-RUNAWAY) as we are 24/7 and can expand on some of what we mention here or talk over other plans.

We want to start by saying we are really sorry to hear about everything you are going through. It is very tough to be in a situation where you have been exposed to abuse, depression, alcoholism, neglect, among what you have mentioned about the environment you have been in. It must have been difficult to go through your mom’s DUIs and the constant problems you talked about. Addressing some of your specific concerns, you did mention you self-harm and we want to let you know that there are resources out there for you. To Write Love on Her Arms (twloha.com) is a really good resource for help on coping mechanisms and to connect with others that have been through similar situations. You deserve to know you are enough and cared about. You also talked about struggles with your sexuality being outed. You also deserve to be accepted for who you are, including your sexuality which is 100% valid. The LGBTQ+ National Youth Talkine is a hotline that helps to discuss what has been going on including parental issues, coming-out issues, school problems, etc. They also provide resources based on your situation and can connect you to youth groups and support organizations. Their number is 1-800-246-7743. Again, your identity as a lesbian should be respected and accepted.

Another option is if you feel that you are being abused or neglected, you have the right to file a child abuse report or tell someone about what has been going on. We aren’t here to define abuse but, if you feel that this is something you are experiencing abuse we can always talk about what options you have. Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is also a great resource to reach out to ask some specific questions about what happens when you report, what reporting looks like, etc. You don’t necessarily have to report but, they can help you with specific questions you may have about reporting and if you want to report we can help you do so through us. We are mandated reporters meaning if you call us and disclose what you believe to be abuse and some identifying factors like your name, your address, your parent’s names, etc. we would have to pass that info along tot Child Protective Services. We can also talk 100% confidentially if you want if you don’t share those identifying factors.

These are just a few options that are available to you. We are always here and really do care about you and what you are going through. Please do not hesitate to give us a call or use our online chat system to get in touch because you deserve to be listened to and we want to be able to help you as best as we can. We hope to hear from you soon.

Best, NRS