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I'm 16 and need to get away from a toxic household

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  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    First of all, thank you so much for reaching out to NRS today. We know it can be difficult and take a lot of courage to reach out. We are so sorry to hear that you are being verbally and emotionally abused at home – you do not deserve that kind of treatment.
    In terms of leaving home, if you are above 18 thus an adult under the age of majority, there is technically no consequences for leaving home. To find somewhere to go, https://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/ is a good resource because it provides specifically shelters in your area. In terms of your siblings, if they are below the age of 18, it is still not illegal for them to run away. However, if your parents decide to do so, they may file a runaway report with the police. In that case, the police may go looking for your siblings, and if they find them, they will most likely return them back home.
    To discuss your situation more in depth and look into some other potential resources, please feel free to reach out to us – we are available 24/7. You can reach out through livechat at 1800runaway.org or over the phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929). We want to help in any way we can.
    Best of luck and stay strong,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    What are some ways to leave home, what is to be done with verbal and emotional abuse which shows that life under this abusive household will be terrible ahead? what are the right steps to take as an adult for me, and my siblings?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    hi i am 15 years old and i need to leave my mothers house she is mentally ill suffering from anxiety, ptsd, bipolar, and depression she is munipative, mentally and physically abusive to my sister and i. My brother is 18 and out of the house but while in my mothers care he tried to commit suicide twice and was in a mental hospital for 2 months at the age of 13 because of my mother. She is aggressive and you never know what your gonna get. She is controlling and just tiring to live with she controls everything. I have tried to leave for years but i have no where to go i am at my fathers house at the moment but he live in a hotel room and i sleep on a couch she is trying to take me home because she has full custody on Friday march 5th is there anything i can do to stop it please lmk thank you.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems like you are frustrated with how your family continues to blame you for things just because of past behavior. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe, NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    what if im only 16 nd i live in toxic house hold ive try to ran away but i laway get caught up and they have threaten me to put in a place because they dont want to deal with me but i have done nothing and stay quiet and i feel im edge of ,alot depression and every of my family has judge me because as a lil kid i was hyper and bad , but that reflected on me and my grandma had spread lied and they always target me because i have bad reputation

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there! Thanks for contacting us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step.

    It sounds like you're living in pretty cramped quarters at home, and we're sorry to hear that. Being comfortable where you live is important, and it's understandable that you'd be considering other options if that's not the case. That said, being pregnant doesn't change the fact that your mom is still your legal guardian until you're 18, making her responsible for you. If she doesn't consent to you living with your boyfriend and gets the police involved, your boyfriend's family could be at risk of facing legal repercussions for harboring a runaway. Those laws do vary from state-to-state, but it's a good idea to be aware of them if that's something you're considering.

    Another option might be to see if your mom would allow you to live with another friend or family member. You might also be able to find a shelter that's specifically designed for pregnant/parenting teens, though do keep in mind that if not, many shelters will not accept pregnant people after a certain point into their pregnancy. Contacting CPS might also be an option for you when considering your current living situation, though it's also possible that they would not move forward with an investigation because you have (what sounds like) a safe, but uncomfortable, living situation. Ultimately, that decision would be up to them.

    If you'd like to chat in more detail about what's going on, explore some of your options, or be connected with some local shelters/programs in your area, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

    Best,

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m 15 and pregnant I’m currently living with my mom in a trailer with my 2 brothers my mom and her friend we sleep in one small bed , I need help getting out of this , my boyfriend is letting me move in his parents house but my mom would call the police if I leave what do I do ? I’m 3 months pregnant

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there and thanks for contacting us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step. It sounds like you've been having a tough time at home, particularly with your parents, and we're sorry to hear that. It seems like everything that you're going through is definitely taking its toll on you, and we commend you for continuing to try and find the support that you need.

    You mentioned in your post that you want to reach out for help but have heard too many horror stories about CPS and foster care. Those are absolutely valid (and normal) concerns, though it is also important to know that being removed from the home is not always the outcome of CPS involvement, which may or may not be reassuring to you. Generally speaking, a lot, if not all, CPS agencies work toward keeping families together. This means that their initial course of action isn't to pop in and put kids into foster care, unless they feel like they're in imminent danger, and even then, they do strive to place those kids with friends or family members first. Another approach they might take is to put other measures in place (like requiring individual and/or family therapy, anger management classes for a parent, or requiring an abusive parent to move out of the home, etc.). CPS involvement may also put people with certain careers (like teachers/doctors/nurses) in a position to rethink their actions or face consequences that could trickle down to their employment, and can also affect any state assistance received, like medical insurance or food stamps. Because of some of the potential ramifications that could occur, sometimes just having CPS involvement and the supports they put in place can help curb some of the issues that have been going on in the home.

    That said, it's also good to know that if CPS were to get involved, conducted an investigation, and ultimately felt as though removing you and your siblings from your home is in your best interests, placing you with your family members is likely still an option. It's unclear who you were stating has COVID, but regardless, most times COVID will pass. If we look at their diagnosis as a temporary one, your family isn't automatically cut out of the equation. If you decide that filing an abuse report is something that you're open to, you can file a report on your own, contact a teacher or someone else that you trust at school and disclose the abuse to them, or give us a call at NRS to help.

    In terms of addressing your mental health--since your parents don't seem into the idea of you seeing a therapist, you might be able to step around that, at least temporarily, by reaching out to your school counselor or social worker for support. If you're not ready to talk about the abuse that you're experiencing, that's okay. Do that in your own time. But know that they can still support you and be a helpful presence if needed. And while you continue to think through things and decide on next steps, if you find yourself in danger from your parents or yourself, please don't hesitate to contact your local law enforcement agency for immediate help. And if contacting the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is not your cup of tea, we understand. But if you find yourself needing to talk through any thoughts of self-harm or suicide, you're always welcome to call or chat with us.

    If you'd like to chat in more detail about what's going on at home, talk more about your options, or move forward with filing an abuse report, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live through our website at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

    Take care.

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    im 16, i have mentally, physically, and neglectfully abusive parents. i worked 40 hours a week during summer and when school was going on virtually and i was getting behind on my assignments my dad drives me to work and home i told my parents countless times im being over worked but they didn't listen because all the money i made went to them i was not allowed to touch it and they would hide it from me, even my birthday money i get from my grandparents/

    after seeing my grades were not straight a's they were enraged broke my phone and took away my laptop and broke my led lights and still threaten to take my door off if it is not open at all times. I am the oldest of 2 younger siblings. I want to reach out for help but i've heard to many horror stories with cps and foster care i dont have any family to take me and my siblings in either because they have covid. i've gotten straight a's many times before and all they said were why aren't they higher and not 100% in all the classes.


    i'm not allowed to be able to have clothes of my choice, or get any new ones because i no longer fit into any of them or go outside to even take out the trash. its exhausting i now use a school issued computer and it has a time limit for wifi to turn off at 12:00 am. im not allowed to have friends or talk to other family members. i do not have a bank account, or a credit/debit card.

    i only work part time on weekends and my dad drives me to and from. ive been suffering from self harm issues and depression, anxiety,eating disorder, and suicidal tendencies as well i don't wanna be put on hold by the suicide hotline .my doctor gave a referral to see a psychologist and therapist but my mom ripped them up as soon as we got to the car even tho my insurance covers it. please do not give an automated message like everyone else i cant handle this anymore. im losing my self. my parents remind me everyday that they never wanted me or my siblings and that they wish we were dead. and i do too.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You do not deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
    It is important that you know that running away is not a crime, it is a status offense. What this means is that you will not be in trouble with the police or have any kind of criminal record if you were to run away and then be picked up by an officer and brought home. Police are obligated to take you back home if there is a runaway report made for you, but you would not be arrested.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Be safe,
    NRS


    We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: We care what you think

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    im 16 and i live w my grandparents. they adopted me a couple years ago. they are constantly verbally abusing me and treat me like ******** compared to my sibling. today they told me to leave but if i did that theyd call the cops and id suffer the consequences. my grandma was hitting me with her fists for no reason. i hate it here and i want to leave.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,
    Thank you ever so much for reaching out to us. We are so sorry to hear that things at home with your mom have gotten so difficult. It sounds like you feel like you need to put some space between you and your mom, given the way she speaks to you and the stress of having lost your father. Please know that we are here to support you.

    We want to extend our condolences for your loss. It sounds like the stress of your dad passing away has made the situation with your mom that much more difficult for you. Moving out is a big decision, and you know best when is the right time for you to leave. In most states, you need to be 18 years old to be able to move out. If you feel that you need to move out before you are legally allowed to do so, the easiest way is to do that with the consent of your parent or legal guardian. It may help to explore whether there is a relative that is willing to take you in until you are able to move out and become independent. We are not legal experts, but from what we understand, if you chose to leave home without the consent of your parent or legal guardian, your parent or legal guardian can report you as a runaway to your local police department. Each department chooses how they handle these reports, but if you are found, you are typically returned to your parent or legal guardian. It is technically not illegal to run away, but it is considered a status offense in some states. Although it is not illegal for you to run away, anyone you stay with runs the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway or aiding and abetting a minor. If you have questions about runaway, a good resource is the non-emergency number for your local police department or local legal aid agency. If you would like more information or you just need someone to talk to, please reach out to us.

    Whatever you decide, please know that we are here to support you. We cannot tell you what to do, but we can do our best to help you explore options that might help. You can reach us 24/7 by phone at 1.800.RUNAWAY (786.2929) or via chat by visiting https://www.1800runaway.org/ and clicking on the ‘Chat’ option. We are here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!

    -NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m jus turned 17 and recently my dad passed away it’s hard to cope with everything and on top of it I have a toxic mother. She constantly just calls hurtful things like I’m a druggy or a ********** or something like that. It hurts you knows she’s my mom I get straight A’s I clean more than she ever has in the house I take care of both ma younger siblings an I raised one of my sisters growing up because my mom was unable to I’d miss my 3rd grade class to watch my new born sister. I grew up at a very young age an this toxic stuff from her is getting old am I’m hanging by a thread I can’t take her hurtful words no more. I hate how she makes her self believe she’s so perfect an she constantly reminds me how much of a screw up I am when I grew up watching her do the same mistakes I’ve made which Mines were less worst. I jus cant wait to move out.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home not put in jail. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. You and your friend likely won’t go to jail but their parents might get in trouble.
    If your dad does end up returning just know that you don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    Be safe,
    NRS
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