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I'm 16 and need to get away from a toxic household

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    ccsmod2
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,

    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are so sorry you’re experiencing this at home. No one deserves to be treated this way. It takes great courage to reach out and we are so glad that you have decided to reach out to us.

    It sounds like you are going through a lot at home. If you feel unsafe or threatened, we encourage you to call 911 for emergency services. If you would like to file a police report, you can call your local police department directly. Another resource available is Child Help which is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can also help you file a police report. They can be reached at 1-800-422-4453 or https://www.childhelp.org/.

    We noticed you've had thoughts about suicide and we would like to let you know that you are not alone. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is a great resource to reach out to if you are having depressing or sucidial thoughts. Another person you can talk to is your school guidance counselor, they may be able to help you with your grades and home life.

    This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but know you are not alone in this. We are here as support to help you in whatever way we can. Please do not hesitate to reach out by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chatting with us via www.1800RUNAWAY.org as we can best help by phone or chat. We hope to hear from you soon!

    National Runaway Safeline
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi, I’m 11, and my parents treat me poorly. They have told me many of times to “kill myself” and I didn’t let that settle well with me. They are always yelling at me for the smallest thing. They always gas light me, and mentally abuse me to where I feel like I’m not worth it anymore. I’ve had thoughts of suicide but I never did it and I’m proud of myself but when I tell them I’m depressed they want to force me to go to a mental hospital when all I want is help. My parents also try to take my phone away, and shut my phone off so I can’t call or text my friends to help me calm down. The only people that actually care for me are my friends. But sometimes I can’t go to them cause I know that they won’t understand what I’m going thru. I need a new family my whole family hates me and is very toxic. Yesterday I made a bad grade and I was trying to fix it but they put it on my report card and that made my parents go thru the roof. Even tho I told them I was trying to fix it at my hardest they still never listens to me and blamed it on me. But they put me in an AP math class that I didn’t want to be in so it technically not my fault. As opposed to me tho trying to fix my grade I couldn’t but I want to file a report to the police about what they have done to me. Because every time I make one small mistake they are so rude to me and disrespect me. They always try to find one way to make me feel bad about myself, and i mean like they slut shame me for the way I dress eve tho I don’t dress like a slut. I have tried to run away one time from my house but they found out, so they took my phone away and put screws on my windows so I couldn’t leave. I believe that they are doing this because they have guilt for themselves so they choose to bring their guilt upon me. I am trying to find a way to file a police report on my parents but I still haven’t found the right one yet!

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  • ccsmod6
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on. We know it takes a lot of courage to reach out.

    It sounds like you’ve been through a lot. You are strong and resilient. You don’t deserve to be mentally or sexually abused. We’re sorry you’re going through this.

    The easiest way to leave home is with your mom’s permission, if she has full custody of you. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your mom.

    While we’re not legal experts, because you’re under the age of 18 if you were to leave home without her permission your mom does have the right to report you as a runaway which may result in the police returning you home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. We can refer you to legal aid resources in your area if you chat with us via our website or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

    The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If you’d like more information about reporting abuse, Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

    One really great resource for all survivors of sexual assault or abuse is RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network). You can call them any time 24/7 at 1-800-656-4673, or go to www.rainn.org to use their online hotline.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    Be safe,
    NRS
    ccsmod6
    Super Moderator
    Last edited by ccsmod6; 10-12-2020, 10:51 PM.
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    hi i’m 15 and my mom is mentally abusing me and just messing me up from the head and she has lied about my real dad and everything about my other family and made them look bad i have never met my real dad and i’m thinking about running away to be with him if i runaway to a family members house would the police do anything to them ? because i want to be with them and not my mom . when i tell her i need help she refuses and says she doesn’t believe in that and she also says that when i got sexually touched that i use it as an excuse when it’s something that has affected me for a long time and now that my dad (step dad) and her are getting divorced my brother is just changing a lot becoming bad and emotionally changing i don’t know what to do i just don’t wanna live here with her anymore . i’d rather be with my real dad .

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod4
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We are sorry to hear about your father. It’s a terrible thing to lose someone so close to you. Especially at an early age.
    It is times like these that would be nice to have a listening ear.

    It is also important that you remember to exercise self- care. You showed some by reaching out to NRS. Good for you. What you have been experiencing sounds very sad and very, very unfair.

    You do not deserve to be treated this way by your mom. It’s not your fault that she behaves this way. Your feelings are important and they matter.
    You are deserving as anyone that wants to be happy.
    What she did with that razor blade sounds like child abuse and you have the right to report it to child protective services. If you would like to speak with someone about filing a report contact Child help at 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org

    NRS is here to listen and here to help.
    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).


    Take care,
    NRS
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I'm 13 years old and my mom constantly yells at me for no reason. I can't tell her about me feelings stressed or me having mental breakdowns almost every week because she won't believe me. In 6th grade I was self-harming and when she found out, she got a razor and pierced it into my skin like she was trying to kill me. I want to leave but I don't know how. I have also been really stressed about school because they haven't been giving me the grades I would normally receive during actual school. She thinks I'm lying and that I don't care. She took away my phone and is going to take away my laptop soon too. This just makes me feel a lot worse. She has also said things to me about my dead father. I guess she's going through stuff and from time to time will always say "If it was me and not your dad would you be happier?" and I can't answer that because of course I wouldn't be happy either way. She would always find a way that if I do reply with "no" she would say "So you're happier with me then." She is currently looking through my phone right now and she is probably never going to let me get it back because of the jokes I make with my friends. I just need somebody to help me. She has even tried to kick me out of our old house in 5th grade.

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod6
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello, thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what is going on. It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time. It can be frustrating not being able to work and make money to support yourself. It may be a good idea to consider having a conversation with your mother and expressing your concerns to her. It is important for your mother to understand what is important to you. If you are thinking about leaving home, you may like to consider reaching out to friends and family members to secure a place to stay. We are not legal experts, however, we do have a lot of experience working with runaway youth. It is our understanding that running away is not illegal. Your parents may file a runaway report, and the police may bring you back home to your mother’s house if they find you.

    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help you by telephone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice on the forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail, please call or chat us soon.

    We can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runawar.org (click on the chat button).

    If you are at risk or any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

    Be safe,

    NRS
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I’m 17 and I need to leave my toxic household. I’m constantly locked up at home with no freedom or social contact. It’s to the point where I’ve almost relapsed a few times and had mental breakdowns everyday. My mom won’t let me get a job to make some money for myself because she thinks I’ll go somewhere else and she won’t teach me how to drive because she said it’ll give me too much freedom. How do I leave a toxic household that constantly drains me with no money and as a minor. I just want to escape and make my own life.

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod4
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

    We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. Your bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their number and website link below to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/ 1-888-843-4564.

    NRS is here to listen and here to help. If you would like to discuss strategies and or options to try and manage your situation, please contact 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800runaway.org

    Take care,
    NRS
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    What do I do if I'm 16 years old and need to get out of my house my parents won't except me as a lesbian and she won't let me get a job so I can pay for a emancipation idk what to do but its very toxic here there always arguing and she doesn't except me
    But she won't let me leave
    ccsmod4
    Super Moderator
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 09-25-2020, 02:16 AM.

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod11
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod11
    replied
    Thanks

    Glad to hear it. Remember we're here 24/7 and you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY anytime.

    Leave a comment:

  • Guest
    Guest

  • Unregistered
    Guest replied
    thanks

    thanks for the information this should help both me and my girlfriend. ^~^

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod9
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod9
    replied
    Re: I'm 16 and need to get away from a toxic household

    Thank you for writing us at the National Runaway Safeline where we’re here to listen and here to help. We appreciate your taking the time to reach out to us for help. It’s remarkable that you are adamant about receiving the resources you need to overcome your depression and self-harm. We commend you for it. It’s too bad that your parents are not responding in the way that you need. It’s also great that you have the support of your girlfriend as well! It must not be easy to want to stay in a home where you feel unfairly targeted for discipline and your pleas for more support are ignored.

    Since you are 16, you are still underneath your parents’ guardianship. This means that you would be committing a status offense if you chose to leave home. Your girlfriend and anyone else who helps you leave could be charged with harboring a runaway. Your parents could file a runaway report and report that you are missing with the police. As you may be able to see, leaving home when you are beneath the age of majority has consequences. You’re being very patient with trying to wait at least until you finish school.

    It’s regrettable that you and your girlfriend have not been having the best experiences at home. If you are worried about abuse escalating with your girlfriend, have you considered reporting her situation to the National Child Abuse Hotline? You can make a confidential call so that they can investigate and do what is best to keep your girlfriend safe from being sexually abused again by her stepfather. To report suspicions of child abuse you can call 1-800-4A-CHILD. To learn more about what happens when you make a report, click the link below:

    https://www.childhelp.org/hotline/

    Additionally, your girlfriend can also call the National Sexual Abuse Hotline if she’d like to talk more about what happened to her or receive any other supports. The phone number is 1-800-656-HOPE or 1-800-656-4673.
    You’ve been doing a great job thus far dealing with all of that you are currently going through. If you or your girlfriend ever get to the appoint where you are contemplating suicide, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255). Wanting to end a horrible situation is a feeling that many people have. Perhaps talking to someone from this line may be useful.

    By you thinking about such things as how you both will make a living and where you will live, it shows that you have a very mature mindset. Have you ever considered learning whether your state allows emancipation of minors? This could offer you a legal way to leave home and become independent from your parents. Seeking emancipation can be quite costly. You would have to prove that you can take care of yourself and manage your own home and money. To learn more about emancipation and find legal aid near you, click these links below:

    http://ctlawhelp.org/a-teenagers-guide-to-emancipation

    http://www.lawhelp.org/find-help/

    http://www.nolo.com/legal-encycloped...ces-30144.html

    As for finding jobs, have you hear about job corps? It is a job training program that offers its participants on site housing. You can learn more about Job Corps below:

    http://www.jobcorps.gov/home.aspx

    National Hotline- 1-800-733-JOBS (1-800-733-5627)

    We thank you again for writing us! We are available 24/7. If you’d like to discuss more, we encourage you to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us daily from 4:30pm-11:30pm CST. We hope to hear from you soon! If not, we certainly wish you and your girlfriend the absolute best!

    NRS

    Leave a comment:

  • Guest
    Guest

  • Unregistered
    Guest started a topic I'm 16 and need to get away from a toxic household

    I'm 16 and need to get away from a toxic household

    Hi, I'm 16 and currently live with my parents. I suffer from depression and self-harm, and my parents won’t get me help and refuse to believe that I need help, and I have asked many times for help but they refuse to give it to me, and because of this they have taken my phone, personal laptop and my bedroom from me, in hopes that my behavior will change when in fact it makes it worse. My parent have very strict rules on me and only me, my litter sister is allowed to do whatever she wants and never gets in trouble very often. My parents aren't physically abusive, but they aren't the nicest people, over the years I can only remember being hit twice and choked twice. I haven’t had a bad life with my parents but as of late all me and my parents do is fight about everything. My father has come close to hitting me and he has on more than one occasion told me to get the hell out of his house. I would leave but I made a promise to my girlfriend to wait till the end of this year, but things have changed. Her living situation is way worse than mine and I would do anything to help her get away from her abusive parents, and she is of age to where she can leave but she refuses to leave because she’s worried about being able to support us financially. I’m worried that her step dad will sexually abuse her again and really just want to get her and myself away from our toxic households, I’m worried that if we don’t get away from our current lives that one of us is going to end up killing themselves, but I’m worried about money and getting a job, school and were we are going to stay. I would love some help.
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