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I'm 16 and need to get away from a toxic household

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  • #61
    I want to get away from my family everyone either mentally hurts me or they do physically my dad is horrible my mom is toxic and just makes everything my fault and never understands that I can't be with her and my step dad he hit me with a door and pushed me grabbed me and left several bruises and marks on me same with my dad I can't take it anymore I want to leave what can I do I don't want to go to Foster care I want to have a job and live on my own but idk what to do I need help I can't keep living with them I can't never mentally heal myself until I can get away

    Comment


    • ccsmod16
      ccsmod16
      Super Moderator
      ccsmod16 commented
      Editing a comment
      [5:52 PM] Nick Harris
      Hello, thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. We are so sorry to hear that you’re dealing with all of this. You do not deserve to be abused, in any way, ever. It takes a lot of courage to open up about these types of situations. It is understandable to be apprehensive about the foster care system. However, there are likely other, safe options available to you. You may want to consider reaching out to Child Help (https://www.childhelp.org/). They provide a variety of services and support for children facing any type of abuse .National Runaway Safeline has a large database of resources ranging from information on emancipation to local mental health counseling, as well as everything in between. However, in order to give you the most appropriate/accurate information in your area, you’d have to reach out to us via phone (1-800-Runaway) or live chat (1800Runaway.org).We’re really glad that you reached out to us and hope to hear from you on our hotline or live chat. Good luck with everything.

  • #62
    I am 14 soon to be 15 my dad is not physically abusive but he is emotionally and verbally abusive. He's very manipulative and try to control me every moment he can my mother isnt in the picture but she tries to reach out and he pushes her away. He makes me feel like I'm being suffocated and his mood swings are crazy one minute hes mad at me then the next hes telling me how much he loves me. The only people I had in my corner where my brother and his wife. But due to the fact that my dad is the way he is my brother has turned into him and his wife has had enough and is leaving him. I know she cant take me with her because she's not blood related to me but shes like the mother i've never had. And when shes gone well im scared to live in my house alone without her. The thought of getting emancipated has run through my head or running away but I dont wanna do something reckless. I dont cut or anything like that but I'm scared that if I'm left alone with them both well i dont know what will happen I want to think my choices through. But recently i want to run away just leave it all but I dont have any money or a place to go.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15
      Super Moderator
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks so much for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like your dad is volatile and emotionally abusive, and it's understandable you would be afraid to live with him and your brother after your stepmom is no longer in the house.

      One option you have is to report the abuse you are experiencing to the authorities. You can do this by telling a teacher or counselor at school, or contacting your state's child abuse reporting hotline. Another resource is an anonymous hotline called Child Help, who can answer any questions you have about the abuse reporting process and take a report over the phone if you choose. Their number is 1-800-422-4453.

      If your stepmom is open to it, you could also talk with her about the possibility of getting partial custody of you or visitation. If you want to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 to talk more about your situation, we can provide free legal aid resources in your area. A legal resource is also a good place to start to talk about emancipation, although that is usually difficult for minors.

      We can also brainstorm some other options and talk through ways to keep you safe if you do decide to leave, like youth shelters. We are here for you 24/7. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help, and shows how strong you are that you are thinking ahead.

      Stay strong,
      NRS

  • #63
    hi I'm 15 and My mom is a very emotionally and mentally abusive She takes control of my life and mostly all my friends left me because of her The one friend that I still keep in contact with wants to help me escape her grasp But I'm too scared And soon enough we're going to move far away And then I'll never be free When I first came out to her as trans and pan she threatened me and said "If you don't become straight right now I will beat you every day until you are", She uses a belt to intimidate me into doing things right away and She always tries to put me down and say that I look like my father and I act crazy like him ( he's in jail) Even though I don't know him I know that he's not crazy And my mom is just saying this to control me, maybe she's putting all this on me because of what her father did to her But I can't take this anymore I tried to kill myself twice already But I have an amazing girlfriend and I can't just leave her in this world alone and I have a best friend who supports me but I don't know how long I can hold on

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5
      Super Moderator
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out to NRS. Based on all that you’ve described, this could be a reportable abuse case. Seeing through mental abuse and control can be excruciating and nauseating. We hear that you’re being told by her that your reality is not real and she’s forcing you to become straight—and threatened with physical abuse alongside it. You never deserve any kind of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to prove than other forms of abuse because CPS usually relies on physical abuse signs when conducting an abuse investigation. 
      That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be. If Child Protective Services (CPS) opens a case, sometimes they decide to remove minors from the home, while other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.  The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to CPS directly, so if you’re ready to do that we at NRS are here to assist.
      --------------
      Concerning running away, it sounds like you are at a crossroads—on the one hand, it’s frightening to run because of what might happen, but on the other, it sounds like you might not get a better chance than where you are right now. It’s understandable you’d be afraid with so much uncertainty, and you know your experience better than anyone else. For either choice, what are the pros and cons? What would your reality be like if you left or if you stayed?
      Some questions to consider: You mentioned your friend, have they discussed the plan? Where would you all go? When would you leave, and how would you leave? How would your girlfriend fit into the scheme of things? Sometimes an outside perspective can help, too. Is there anyone in the community that you trust and can speak to confidentially like a doctor, school personnel, or club?
      If you are open to options, the National Safe Place http://www.nationalsafeplace.org/ might help. They offer “Safe Places” for youth in need. If you want, they will listen to your case, make arrangements, and provide resources to help you. Or even if you just feel like talking in-person to someone and need a safe place to stay, they are there for you. However, they will likely get CPS involved if you choose to disclose.
      ------------
      Lastly, that you are hanging on for your girlfriend in the midst of your pain is a testament to your character. Often it can be easy to feel don’t have what it takes, but, even in this short of a message, you seem incredibly brave and kind. It sounds like you’ve tried everything you can think of at this point, and reaching out for more support was a smart choice you made. Battling thoughts of ending your life can be an uphill battle, yet your authenticity is admirable.
      If you haven’t, you might want to try the Trevor Project (http://www.thetrevorproject.org/ ) or the Trans Lifeline (http://www.translifeline.org/). Both provide confidential support and empathetic listening ears. The Trevor Project specializes in helping LGBTQ+ youth considering suicide; the Trans Lifeline is run by Trans people for Trans people. Although they are for people who identify as LGBTQ, the volunteers are trained to help you in all sorts of life circumstances, especially suicidal thoughts.
      • Trevor Lifeline (866.488.7386) operates 24/7
      • TrevorChat.org is available daily from 3-10pm EST
      • TrevorText (202.304.1200) is available weekdays from 3-10pm EST
      • Trans Lifeline (877.565.8860) change depending on day


      NRS is here to help through all of this. We encourage and welcome you to call or chat online with us. We can help you through any process, we can discuss more options for coping, and offer other resources like shelters in your area, too.

      We’re rooting for you!

  • #64
    I just turned 16 and my whole childhood consisted of toxic language and toxic people. I got away from it for 5 years then went back to it. He wont let me do anything, he treats me like a slave. I can't have friends. unless he gives it the okay.

    Comment


    • ccsmod16
      ccsmod16
      Super Moderator
      ccsmod16 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,
      Thanks for reaching out; we are glad that you did. It sounds like things are really awful there for you being treated like a slave and not allowed friends, on top of the toxic language used on you.

      It sounds like you got away for 5 years, but are now back. It's difficult for us to offer any real help here on this public forum. We work best with people when we can have a conversation with people. You can chat us through this website or call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-runaway). We truly look forward to hearing from you soon.
      Sincerely,
      NRS
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