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I'm 16 and need to get away from a toxic household

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  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it can be a hard step to reach out and we’re glad you did; we hope to help as best we can. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody. You mentioned having been involed with DCFS in the past, its possible brining up another report may help. Child Help can assist in answering any questions you may have about reporting abuse and neglect.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Be safe,
    NRS

  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out! I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s very mature of you to know what abuse is and to recognize it. Abuse is never ok, and unfortunately verbal and psychological abuse are hard for people to see.

    It sounds like you’ve had a rough go of things between your parents’ divorce, your mom’s lack of support, the abusive housemate, and moving. All of the above are difficult on their own, let alone having all these experiences at such a young age. Moving especially is a big adjustment, and it’s not fair that your mom is not understanding of that. It’s also unfair that you feel singled out. Sometimes those that are conflict avoidant (perhaps you) are the ones other’s pick on and take advantage of.

    It’s amazing that you shared with your mom your gender identity, and we are so sorry she did not respond in a more positive way. You deserve to feel loved and accepted. The Trevor Project (https://www.thetrevorproject.org/) might serve as a useful resource. It is a crisis line and platform specifically for LGBTQ youth to share their experiences and receive support. Therapy could also be an option. It could help you develop coping mechanisms, give you a safe space to speak to your mom, and hopefully make her aware of her behavior and how it makes you feel.

    We are happy that your friend’s experience of running away went well, but running away can be very risky and unsafe. We understand that things are incredibly hard for you at home, and we're so sorry for that. It’s also incredible that you are so aware of not only yourself but of others around you. It could be helpful to call or chat with us to talk through your plan to runaway if you feel like that is your only option - we can also help provide more if the Trevor Project and therapy do not work for you. Please feel free to contact us 24/7 by calling our hotline or through our online chat service.

    Stay safe and stay strong!
    — NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    im 16 and my parents are toxic as all hell. ive been grounded for speaking up or "making lies" as they call it. ive now been grounded for the past 4 months due to trying to get out of this toxic house. dcf has been and still is involved but they arent doing anything because of the lies my parents make up. theyve also made my 13 year old brother and i clean most of the house as daily chores my step-father works all day and when he gets home all he does is sit and have his nightly beer while my mom doesnt get up till maybe 12-2pm and then is either working on art or bills she doesnt usually cook unless its a new recipe if its something easy she makes me cook. we live near two small stores and most of the time my parents send me to the stores for them because they cant or dont want to go. they have also taken both of my phones that i have paid for myself and threatened to smash them if i didnt hand over the passcodes. sometimes they like to hit with the wooden spoon and a judge said it was assult and battery with a deadly weapon.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

    You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi, I'm 13 and my mother is extremely toxic and my sister is physically aggressive.

    I've done research and everytime I use it to try to explain what is happening I'm told I am faking because I am "Way to young to be that aware of abuse"

    My mother is a narcissist and is completely overbearing and controlling of me. She gaslights and manipulates me all of the time. Just a few days ago in the car we were talking about moving and looking at houses. We moved away from my hometown after I turned 8 because of my mother and father getting a divorce. When we moved here (where we live now) we were roommates with a woman who physically and verbally abuse my little sister and I while our mother stood by. We no longer live with the woman but I always wondered why she never helped us. Now we live with my step-father who also goes through her abuse but puts it on me. But- back to the original point- I want to move but I don't want to have to start over. She yelled at me and threatened to take my phone away because I was getting emotional about moving away.

    I'm what psychologists would call the "Scape Goat" of my family. My sister and now baby brother are golden children. "Why can't you just be a good older sister," "Why do you have to make everything more difficult for us," things like that are common place. As I said- my sister is a golden child. She has anger issues (which I can understand) but she takes it out on me. Just yesterday I was trying to give our dogs water and she hit me and called me a b!tch because while I was filling the water dish she decided to empty the dishwasher and load it. My mother walked in while I was telling her that I didn't appreciate her hitting me and I got punished for being ridiculous. "YOU'RE A LIER! You're sister would never hurt you! Why'd you spill the dogs' water?!" she had literally been in the next room over.

    When I started looking into my gender identity and came out to her first as genderfaun- (he/him, and other pronouns that aren't feminine) sort of like genderfluid- she completely flipped out. She took my phone away, tried to convince me it was "the internet's fault," and she made me share a room with my sister again. She and my Step-father take my phone away without warning if they hear anything about me talking to my school counselor.

    I had a friend run away and it went well for them and I'm honestly thinking about it. I need to get away and heal but I feel like if I leave she'll turn on my brother and sister, and I might not see my father or step mother because they'll turn me in. I don't want to hurt everyone but I need help.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hello im 13 and wanna run away from home. I really dont like my home because i feel unloved, hated, and targeted. I get sad at times and i use smoking weed, carts, cutting, and alcohol to cope with that. The reason i feel unloved, hated, and targeted is because, whenever something happens im always the one to blame ALWAYS. This hurts knowing my family always targets me. For example, my mom got her money stolen from someone recently that wasnt me. The second she found out she went straight to my room and beat the s*** out of me. This hurts very much. I now give no reaction to the hitting so that way she doesnt feel anything good while hitting me. I feel very depressed and dont enjoy doing much, and I rarely eat now. I even did a test to see if my brother cared abt me by holding a knife to my throat crying and he didnt even care or try to stop me. I have no friends irl. I used to, but during this summer they slowly faded away. I only had 2 friends, a guy named Ivan and a girl named Valeria. I used to have more but things happened and now my old friends all target me. I also had online friends, very good ones until my mom took my laptop away for no reason. when i got it back all my friends were gone and i was left all alone. i at times feel like killing myself. I even have the plan all sorted out for when i have the guts to actually die. I cut my self at times as well. Im always left out of things too, like family pictures and when they go out to eat etc. My birthday was recently (july 12) and my family wasnt even here for it. I was all alone while they were in chicago. The only one home with me was my brother. Which he said happy bday but thats it. He then left with his friends and i had no one to hang with. That really hurt me. I wish i could get in contact with my real dad so i could go live with him. Or i honestly just want to end my life. I read online that i can leave at 16 but im not sure i can wait that long so now im thinking of suicide or just running. I have no plan on where ill go and have no money. What do i do.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I am 16
    and is stuck in a toxic household with my two younger siblings that I am basically a parent to.I am emotionally abused a victim of physical abuse but not from my mother ,I am constantly berated,she has name called me before when she constantly out partying from Sunday to Sunday she acts like a 17 year old and she is at least 36 before she had her second child in 2012 I was constantly moving and being given to different people to basically raise me while she had free reign now I watch my siblings for at least 12-14 hours a day she expects me to clean the house every day maintain good grades somehow. and I eat maybe one meal a day.there is no food in the house except a few items either I can't eat since I am severely lactose intolerant or I would have to cook somehow if I found the time se spends maybe 3-4hours on average at the house but she either sleep or on the phone trying to find somewhere to go she constantly us and other people how "I have only been home 5 min but I have to go"she seriously neglects me my knee has been maybe popped out the socket for two weeks the maybe is cause she won't even call the doctor to find out I have several health and mental health issues but she won't get me any help she asks as if my human needs are simply inconfeasing her now I thought I can survived this utter hellscape that is my life since I have never known better I try to hope i can have better but i only hold on for my 2 siblings since no one in this world can love them better than I can she doesn't deserve them they never asked to be here and she doesn't love them the that I do she not a good mother at all and I can't stand for there mistreatment I want help that's why I have been actively trying to get a therapist for the past like 2 and a half years I need to be better and get out I can't leave since I am scared for my sister's that are basically my children at this point the foster system isn't an option all of our dad's side of the family aren't an option at my moms side there no space and the only people I would try to trust to take care of them for me dont have the space or the time.I am tried of being stuck in this cycle .I have no space ,no privacy,no time and am mentally ill desperately in need of therapist or a psychologist I really need help.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello! I am sorry to hear that you are in such a toxic situation. You deserve to be in a loving and supportive environment especially considering you have a baby on the way. You mentioned that you don’t feel supported in your environment. You can utilize the Home Free Hotline Number 1-800-680-1899 if you ever feel unsafe in your home and feel like you have no where left to turn. Further, Planned Parenthood may be a great option as an expecting mother to help prepare you and provide you with support from professionals. Their number is 1-800-230-7526 and they also have a Live Chat on their website plannedparenthood.org. You can text “PPNOW” to 774636 for more information!


    We are extremely happy and proud of you for taking the necessary steps in contacting us for help. If you would like to talk to somebody at the National Runaway Safeline about your specific situation, we are here to listen and provide support 24/7! Our phone number is 1-800-RUNAWAY and we also have a live chat service via our website https://www.1800runaway.org/.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I’m 16 and I’m living in a very toxic household. I’m currently expecting a baby and my parents haven’t been supportive. They hate my boyfriend and they don’t know I’m pregnant. I currently got in a fight with my parents and their more and I don’t know what to do . I want to runaway but I don’t think I should .

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thanks you for reaching out to us, we understand it can be a big step for some. We are glad you reached out. You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your mom. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.
    It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You deserve to have the safe space where you can express yourself and be heard.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Stay strong,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi, I'm 16 and I live with my single mom, brother, and aunt. I live in a home that criticizes me for everything I do. I live in a sexist and racist household and I'm a black girl so it's not the best situation. My mom and aunt are Polynesian so I'm the one that has to never talk back and be the perfect robot they want me to be. I see how my family treats the other members of my family and how they treat me and it just doesn't make sense. There were times where my brother called my mom a ********** and yelled at her to do things for him and she takes it but if I say or do something she believes is out of line I get told to shut up and get hit. My brother is 21 and he has never done laundry because he is a man. I get called selfish because I don't allow myself to give in to the idiocracy of doing a grown man's chores. I one time reached out to my mom about my self-harm and how I was really depressed and I was scared that soon I was going to commit suicide and that was a really big step for me because I have never opened up to someone like that and I have struggled with depression in silence for about 5 years, but when I told her about it she told me that I was selfish for thinking this and feel this way. She said I felt this way because I don't come out of my room and I never do anything to better myself, then she started body-shaming me and calling me fat and ugly. When I told her this she moved me out of my room and put me in my living room and I was sleeping on my couch for a few months and I became more depressed and more suicidal. They want me to be an emotionless robot that has no feelings that will cook and clean for them but I'm sorry to say that I'm a human being that has no idea how to navigate their feelings. I love my mom but she has no idea on how to raise her kids in an environment that is a safe mental space. BUT WHY HAVE KIDS IF YOU CAN'T GIVE THEM A SAFE SPACE TO EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS!!!!!

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    Thanks ever so much for reaching out to us. We are so sorry that things at home with your grandparents are so difficult. It sounds like the situation has reached a point where you feel that living away from them is your best option. Although we are not legal experts, we will do our best to share information that might help you decide what would be best for you.

    Generally, 18 is generally the age someone is considered a legal adult in most states. At this age, you would be free to leave home without parental permission. If you are still considered a minor in your state and leave home, your parent/guardian has the right to file a runaway report with your local police department. From what we understand, if you are reported as a runaway and found by the local police, they would return you home or have your parent/legal guardian pick you up. Anyone that you stay with runs the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. Reaching out to the local legal aid or your local police department at their non-emergency number is the best way to get state-specific answers to your questions. If you feel that you are able to support yourself, you may need to explore whether your state offers emancipation and, if so, whether you meet their criteria. These decisions can be really difficult to make. If you would like to speak with someone about your situation, or feel you need help brainstorming your next steps, feel free to reach out to us.

    Whatever you decide, know that we are here to support you. We cannot tell you what to do, but we will do our best to help you stay as safe as possible as you explore you next steps. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

    Be safe,

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I’m 16 and I live with my grandparents, only my grandmother has guardianship over me. They are both extremely mean we are always fighting. They never let me or my siblings out of the house and my grandmother is very mentally unstable. She has many undiagnosed mental illnesses that are very hard to deal with. I have a job and a place to go but I’m scared of getting in trouble and unsure of what exactly to do. All’s i know is that I want to get away from them.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi, thank you for reaching out; we are glad that you did. It sounds like you have been dealing with, and bravely surviving, a very difficult and stressful home situation. You have already been so brave, and we understand the courage that it takes to reach out to us for help.
    It sounds like you want to leave, to go to live with your online partner, but other people are unsure of the relationship. We can talk over this situation because that is how we work best with people.
    Everyone has their own complex set of problems and we like to have a conversation to help you figure out your options and try to help you solve problems and answer questions.
    You can reach out to us via live chat through this website, or call us at our hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929), both options are here for you 24/7
    We truly hope to hear from you soon.
    Sincerely,
    NRS
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