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I'm 16 and need to get away from a toxic household

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  • #46
    Hello im 13 and wanna run away from home. I really dont like my home because i feel unloved, hated, and targeted. I get sad at times and i use smoking weed, carts, cutting, and alcohol to cope with that. The reason i feel unloved, hated, and targeted is because, whenever something happens im always the one to blame ALWAYS. This hurts knowing my family always targets me. For example, my mom got her money stolen from someone recently that wasnt me. The second she found out she went straight to my room and beat the s*** out of me. This hurts very much. I now give no reaction to the hitting so that way she doesnt feel anything good while hitting me. I feel very depressed and dont enjoy doing much, and I rarely eat now. I even did a test to see if my brother cared abt me by holding a knife to my throat crying and he didnt even care or try to stop me. I have no friends irl. I used to, but during this summer they slowly faded away. I only had 2 friends, a guy named Ivan and a girl named Valeria. I used to have more but things happened and now my old friends all target me. I also had online friends, very good ones until my mom took my laptop away for no reason. when i got it back all my friends were gone and i was left all alone. i at times feel like killing myself. I even have the plan all sorted out for when i have the guts to actually die. I cut my self at times as well. Im always left out of things too, like family pictures and when they go out to eat etc. My birthday was recently (july 12) and my family wasnt even here for it. I was all alone while they were in chicago. The only one home with me was my brother. Which he said happy bday but thats it. He then left with his friends and i had no one to hang with. That really hurt me. I wish i could get in contact with my real dad so i could go live with him. Or i honestly just want to end my life. I read online that i can leave at 16 but im not sure i can wait that long so now im thinking of suicide or just running. I have no plan on where ill go and have no money. What do i do.

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

      You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

      If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      We hope to hear from you soon.

      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #47
    Hi, I'm 13 and my mother is extremely toxic and my sister is physically aggressive.

    I've done research and everytime I use it to try to explain what is happening I'm told I am faking because I am "Way to young to be that aware of abuse"

    My mother is a narcissist and is completely overbearing and controlling of me. She gaslights and manipulates me all of the time. Just a few days ago in the car we were talking about moving and looking at houses. We moved away from my hometown after I turned 8 because of my mother and father getting a divorce. When we moved here (where we live now) we were roommates with a woman who physically and verbally abuse my little sister and I while our mother stood by. We no longer live with the woman but I always wondered why she never helped us. Now we live with my step-father who also goes through her abuse but puts it on me. But- back to the original point- I want to move but I don't want to have to start over. She yelled at me and threatened to take my phone away because I was getting emotional about moving away.

    I'm what psychologists would call the "Scape Goat" of my family. My sister and now baby brother are golden children. "Why can't you just be a good older sister," "Why do you have to make everything more difficult for us," things like that are common place. As I said- my sister is a golden child. She has anger issues (which I can understand) but she takes it out on me. Just yesterday I was trying to give our dogs water and she hit me and called me a b!tch because while I was filling the water dish she decided to empty the dishwasher and load it. My mother walked in while I was telling her that I didn't appreciate her hitting me and I got punished for being ridiculous. "YOU'RE A LIER! You're sister would never hurt you! Why'd you spill the dogs' water?!" she had literally been in the next room over.

    When I started looking into my gender identity and came out to her first as genderfaun- (he/him, and other pronouns that aren't feminine) sort of like genderfluid- she completely flipped out. She took my phone away, tried to convince me it was "the internet's fault," and she made me share a room with my sister again. She and my Step-father take my phone away without warning if they hear anything about me talking to my school counselor.

    I had a friend run away and it went well for them and I'm honestly thinking about it. I need to get away and heal but I feel like if I leave she'll turn on my brother and sister, and I might not see my father or step mother because they'll turn me in. I don't want to hurt everyone but I need help.

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for reaching out! I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s very mature of you to know what abuse is and to recognize it. Abuse is never ok, and unfortunately verbal and psychological abuse are hard for people to see.

      It sounds like you’ve had a rough go of things between your parents’ divorce, your mom’s lack of support, the abusive housemate, and moving. All of the above are difficult on their own, let alone having all these experiences at such a young age. Moving especially is a big adjustment, and it’s not fair that your mom is not understanding of that. It’s also unfair that you feel singled out. Sometimes those that are conflict avoidant (perhaps you) are the ones other’s pick on and take advantage of.

      It’s amazing that you shared with your mom your gender identity, and we are so sorry she did not respond in a more positive way. You deserve to feel loved and accepted. The Trevor Project (https://www.thetrevorproject.org/) might serve as a useful resource. It is a crisis line and platform specifically for LGBTQ youth to share their experiences and receive support. Therapy could also be an option. It could help you develop coping mechanisms, give you a safe space to speak to your mom, and hopefully make her aware of her behavior and how it makes you feel.

      We are happy that your friend’s experience of running away went well, but running away can be very risky and unsafe. We understand that things are incredibly hard for you at home, and we're so sorry for that. It’s also incredible that you are so aware of not only yourself but of others around you. It could be helpful to call or chat with us to talk through your plan to runaway if you feel like that is your only option - we can also help provide more if the Trevor Project and therapy do not work for you. Please feel free to contact us 24/7 by calling our hotline or through our online chat service.

      Stay safe and stay strong!
      — NRS

  • #48
    im 16 and my parents are toxic as all hell. ive been grounded for speaking up or "making lies" as they call it. ive now been grounded for the past 4 months due to trying to get out of this toxic house. dcf has been and still is involved but they arent doing anything because of the lies my parents make up. theyve also made my 13 year old brother and i clean most of the house as daily chores my step-father works all day and when he gets home all he does is sit and have his nightly beer while my mom doesnt get up till maybe 12-2pm and then is either working on art or bills she doesnt usually cook unless its a new recipe if its something easy she makes me cook. we live near two small stores and most of the time my parents send me to the stores for them because they cant or dont want to go. they have also taken both of my phones that i have paid for myself and threatened to smash them if i didnt hand over the passcodes. sometimes they like to hit with the wooden spoon and a judge said it was assult and battery with a deadly weapon.

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it can be a hard step to reach out and we’re glad you did; we hope to help as best we can. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody. You mentioned having been involed with DCFS in the past, its possible brining up another report may help. Child Help can assist in answering any questions you may have about reporting abuse and neglect.
      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
      We hope to hear from you soon.

      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #49
    Hi I’m 11 years old almost 12 I leave in a toxic household and I can’t take it anymore I really want to escape but I can’t today I’m planning on what to do I won’t see anyones reply bc I won’t have any connection to the WiFi

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). Hopefully you have WIFI to see this reply! We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe, NRS

  • #50
    i’m 15 i’m currently in a toxic household with my mom and my stepdad but have been verbally abused, my grandparents live in a different state but want to take me to live with them and i agree with them but i don’t know how to go if my mom says no

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. One option would be if your grandparents file for emergency custody or permanent custody. Then they would have guardianship over you and take the role of your parents.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #51
    i am 13 years old and thinking about running away. mental health is something i've struggled with for a while and my parents don't exactly help. They have tried to help by taking me to a therapist, but all i talk about is the way they are messing with me mentally with their constant yelling and our constant arguing. My dad will make degrading comments to me and i get so emotional that i just argue back and tell him to leave me alone. my therapist and i thought family therapy would be a good idea but my mom just screamed about how it was a bad idea and i haven't asked my dad yet because i'm honestly scared of him. Lately the fighting has been getting worse and they took away my phone and my laptop and aren't letting me go out anywhere for weeks. the worst part is idk why this is happening and it makes me angrier at them. whenever i try to talk about my emotions about our relationship they make me fee stupid and like i'm the problem. they haven't hit me but i really don't think i can handle their comments for much longer, am i overreacting?

    Comment


    • #52
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe,
      NRS
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • #53
        Im 17 and dating a 15 year old transgender female to male and his parents gave custody to his grandpaernts in texas he went silent for 3 months and he is at a churchcamp in palistine texas i dont know how to get him out but i will do anything to get him back i need to make sure he doesnt off himself or anthing

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thanks for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like you really care about your partner and that their safety is important to you. It must be hard to not be able to get in touch with him, especially when it seems like there’s a lot of changes going on in his life.

          Have you considered trying to get in touch with his grandparents? Navigating communication with an unsupportive family can be difficult, but at least it might help you determine if he is safe at the church camp. Reaching out to us takes a lot of bravery, we’d love to get some more information in order to figure out some other resources that might be helpful for you.

          We’re really glad you wrote us a post, and just so you know, you can give us a call (1800Runaway) or use the chat feature on our website (1800Runaway.org) to talk a little bit more about what’s going on. We’re here for you 24/7. Good luck!

      • #54
        hey i'm 15 years old i am living with my parents but i want out of here, i'm tired of the way they treat me, like just the other day my dad called me a fat ********** and hit me and no joke when i say this but i have a bruise on my leg that's about 8 inches long. I have not ate much since then i barley even talk to him my parents always say that i'm a loser, i'm not and will never be good enough. they said there done spending money on me, they don't care anymore and i'm scared to tell anyone about anything because i'm scared of what my parents are going to do. There has been plenty of other times they have hit my more my dad then mom but they both hit me. A couple of months ago my dad had smacked me so many times my lip was busted and swollen and my nose was bleeding but he still kept hitting me. What can i do to get out of this situation???

        Comment


        • ccsmod0
          ccsmod0 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on with your parents. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed recently by your father. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

          Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

          If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best

          We hope to hear from you soon.

          Be safe,

          NRS

      • #55
        Thank you for the information the church camp is run by his grandparents and they wont pick up my calls or anything the whole family has blocked me for looking into it they moved him there becasue of texas strick transgender laws and they diconected every bit of comunication i have im about to make a trip from indinana to texas to at least make sure he is ok

        Comment


        • ccsmod5
          ccsmod5 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thank you for reaching out! If you have contacted NRS today through another means (for example, live chat, email or bulletin) for the same issue, it would be helpful to let us know that you have already contacted us. NRS understands it takes courage to reach out for help; therefore, we would like to minimize the need for you to repeat your situation and avoid offering you duplicate services. We can only respond twice through email and bulletin/forum, so we encourage you to reach out via chat or phone call if you need any further assistance.


          Best of luck,
          NRS

      • #56
        I’m almost 16 and I can’t take it here anymore. My mom moved me between two of her boyfriends’ houses 5 times in the past 3 months, I’ve had to switch schools 3 times. Because of switching schools/ school zones, I’m failing at school. There are mice living in our vents, I get sick all the time, but my mom still doesn’t believe me. We have little to no sustainable nutrients in our kitchen. I’ve asked for therapy multiple times for the past year or so because I have severe anxiety and depression but she never has helped me get the resources I need. I know that none of this is okay, so pleas tell me if there’s anything I can do anytime soon to get out of here.

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          How's this?It sounds like you are going through a very tough time and we are glad you reached out to us. It is very brave of you to take steps to make your situation better and we will do our best to help you find resources that may be helpful to you.



          Anxiety and depression can be difficult to deal with even under good conditions. A potential resource is NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, at www.nami.org or 1-800-950-NAMI (6264). The NAMI HelpLine is a free, nationwide service providing information, resource referrals and support to people living with mental health conditions, their family members and caregivers. HelpLine staff and volunteers may able to provide guidance and offer resources that may be helpful to you or strategies for dealing with your situation.



          Your current living situation also sounds very challenging. You could consider your local family Division of Child Protective Services to talk about your situation. They may be able to help you find resources to help with your situation. If you are uncomfortable making the call, you can call us and one of our volunteers can make the call with or for you.



          Another potential resource is the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at www.childhelp.org or 1-800-4-A-CHILD (422-4453). Childhelp is a 24-hour hotline with volunteers who can talk to you about your situation and provide resources that may be helpful to you.



          Do you have friends or family that you are comfortable talking to about your situation? Do you have a teacher or counselor at school you are comfortable talking to? They may have advice or ideas that may be helpful to you. If you think it would be helpful to you, you can also call us and we can arrange a conference call with your Mom to talk about how you feel.



          You can also always contact us via chat at www.1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We have volunteers available 24/7 to talk and to help you find resources that may be helpful to you.



          We wish you the best!

      • #57
        i’m 16 and live in a toxic household it’s mainly my mom but my dad isn’t really in the picture like he lives with us and when he does get involved with things he gets abusive and throws breaks anything in his eye sight, he has dragged me across the floor almost broke my wrists and ankles trying to get me out of the car because i didn’t know a password to an old account then my mom would smack me till i got cut and bleed or i would start crying, one time i was with a few friends and was about to go home and she got mad at my brother and was taking it out on me and i knew she was going to hit me so my friends and i agreed i wasn’t going to go home so it wouldn’t happen and my mom called the state troopers and said i was a runaway and kidnapped because i didn’t want to get abused when i got home i said i would be back in the morning but she didn’t care and when she found out where i was she dragged me out of the house and took my phone that i pay for and i bought i have a job but i work with half my family and my mom won’t let me get a different job so they could keep an eye on me all that happens at my house with my whole family is we just fight and fight it gets really bad but she has my location i just turned it off and want to move out and with a friend and my one really close cousin that my mom really likes but i know she would call the cops and do it again but i was thinking about planning everything out and telling her i’m moving out but i know she’s gonna over react and try to hurt herself and make me the worst kid she’s ever had and never forgive me but i’m not happy here at all and won’t be as long as i’m here. i need out.

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello, thanks for reaching out to us at NRS.

          It sounds like it has been really scary living in an environment with both of your parents, considering all of the abuse you have experienced there, so it makes sense that you are looking for options to get out. Please know that you do not deserve ANY abuse, and you have the right to report it to Child Protective Services whose job it would be able to intervene and work to ensure you are safe. If you want help with reporting, you can either call our hotline (800) RUNAWAY, or you can call the National Child Abuse Hotline yourself at (800) 422-4453. If you’d prefer, you can also seek out a mental health, medical, or school professional, or if you are in immediate danger, you can call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.

          If you don’t want to report at this time but are looking for other options out of the home, do you think your mom would consent to your staying with your cousin if you tried sitting down and having a conversation with her about it? Perhaps involving the cousin or any other supportive family member could help in bridging the communication and come to some compromise, acknowledging that it seems like everyone is experiencing heightened tensions at home.

          There is also an option of staying at a shelter. Some shelters are required to notify your parental guardian; however, some do not, and you can always ask beforehand. To do a search for all shelters, you can go to homelesshelterdirectory.org, or you can call our hotline (800-RUNAWAY) and we can look into nearby youth shelters in your area.

          It makes sense that you want to make a change to your living situation, and you don’t have to go through this alone. Please do not hesitate to reach out and let us know how we can best help you.

          Good luck,

          NRS

      • #58
        hello, I'm female and 17 years old. I've lived in a physically and mentally abusive household since I was born. They refuse to let me and my sister get a job or our licenses. We both suffer with mental illnesses, I have BPD and cannot be treated properly until I'm 18 but also refuse to believe I have it. I also deal with severe self harm. They call the police on us regularly and lie to them about situations that occur, they will put their hands on us first and flip it the other way around once the police come. I can't deal with this much longer and it just keeps getting worse and worse.

        Comment


        • ccsmod7
          ccsmod7 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems like your home life is abusive and taxing to your mental health.

          You are also within your rights to report any abuse happening inside the home, www.childhelp.org can be a great resource when looking to report abuse, and we can also assist you in filling out an abuse report if you call or chat us. National Alliance on Mental Illness (https://nami.org/Home) is a great resource for those struggling with self-harm or mental illness as well. A guidance counselor, close friend, or trusted adult can also be a good resource for coping with difficult situations.

          We are here as support through this challenging time and we can best help by having a conversation with you either by phone on our hotline or chatting us through our website. We truly hope to hear from you soon so that we can listen and help.

          Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
          If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

          Be safe,
          NRS

      • #59
        I am 14 years old and I hate living with my parents all my mom does is control my life and she controls what I wear what I eat and where I go. And when she gets mad she will hit me and slap me. She always try’s to pick out all the things I’m doing wrong every single day and she just doesn’t doesn’t understand me. And she’s always saying for me to leave and she regrets adopting, same with my dad he always says that to me and he always hits me and would throw stuff at me if I don’t d9 something he asks right away. He’s always saying he can’t wait for the day I move out and when I turn 18 there kicking me out.

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello There
          Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time and we want you to know that you are not alone.

          What you have described sounds like abuse and you do not deserve to be treated that way. You do have a right to make an abuse report and you can do that by calling Child Help at 1800-422-4453. You can also talk with a school counselor or a teacher and they would provide support and help with a report. Lastly, you can always call us and we can help you with making an abuse report.

          We are here for you if you want to explore options or just need someone to vent to. We are available 24/7 by phone or by chat. Best of luck!

      • #60
        im 16 my parents are verbally and sometimes physically abusive. i have a autistic brother that they cannot handle they are always cussing and screaming at him and they do the same with me. My mom and father has physical abused me , my brother gets whooped and not any regular whooping i mean hits on head back arms legs etc they don't care i really just want them to go away forever

        Comment

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